Do you think mind programming is why more don’t admit to want others?
Sorry a little deep thought for a Sunday morning.
I have come a long way from my own thoughts a few years ago when I believed to have or lust to have sex with another was so wrong not that I have ever wanted to have sex in that time with others, as for 28 years I never looked at another man as I was with the man I have always loved.
A few years ago after discussions together about the possibility of my hubby offering me the choice to have other men it awoke other thought processes that was hard to understand at first, but the thoughts also excited me. I was being offered if I wanted it the chance to not only have the person I loved there with me, but to have the experience of others to if I wished.
I realised that you could also have sex out of lust for others, but the love for my hubby is his. My mind has been reprogrammed and liberated.
Is this so wrong, when we look at sex the act is very natural it is part of nature after all we come from the animal kingdom.
Should we really be expected only to experience sex with one partner for years?
I also believe there are many people that programming is the only reasons they would not admit they would like to try this to.
What are your views?
I believe liberated minds would extract the tabooness of the whole thing.
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Do you think mind programming is why more don’t admit to w
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Sex God
I think the notion of monogamy is ingrained in societal norms, culture and religion and as such, we all grow up in a world where this belief is a central tenet to what is a 'decent society'. This has come about after centuries of modelling by religious leaders, culture and indeed the innate fear of being 'different'.
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Also biology calls into question whether this was actually the right way forward. Sir Robert Winstone presented a series on this a while back. It actually put camera's (don't ask me how) inside a woman and filmed her as she had sex. It showed that sex with her partner didn't produce the same reactions as sex with another that her cervix would 'dip' into his pooled sperm, facilitating its easier passage into her womb. This happened because, presubambly she was more excited and orgasmic with a new man, than her partner.
The upshot of this could therefore be that if a woman wanted to get pregnant, she should have sex with as many different partners as possible. It has also been found that different sperm 'compete' with each other in the womb, ensuring that only the strongest make it to the egg. This would ensure her offspring would tenbd to come from a stronger gene pool and have the best chance of survival. It's natural selection in a microcosm.
At its core this is also nature v nurture debate. There's plenty of evidence in nature that monogamy is not normal and perhaps even detrimental to a womans chances of procreation. Nurture however is teaching her that this is not as important as finding a sexual partner for life. For men, it is simply about him furthering his genes. The best way for him to do that is have as many people take them as is humanly possible.
I think swinging is popular because it appeals to the natural animal instincts within us and sates their desire, without the rather tiresome moralising of "society" judging you for it, all without the need to betray the feelings of a loved one (if you are with a partner). The fact it is somewhat and judged as wrong by many. also adds to its attraction for some.
It offers a bridge between taking the moral stance of monogamy as good and right, and perhaps fulfilling a natural need to enjoy sex with others on a more fundamental, animalistic level. There's also the added bonus that it's bloody good fun and that we have evolved to find aspects of it, such as seeing our partner with someone else, attractive too.
So Minxy, you may well be programmed by society to think one way, but you are programmed by your genes to think another too. Whoever wins the battle will decide whether you are a swinger or not.
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Also biology calls into question whether this was actually the right way forward. Sir Robert Winstone presented a series on this a while back. It actually put camera's (don't ask me how) inside a woman and filmed her as she had sex. It showed that sex with her partner didn't produce the same reactions as sex with another that her cervix would 'dip' into his pooled sperm, facilitating its easier passage into her womb. This happened because, presubambly she was more excited and orgasmic with a new man, than her partner.
The upshot of this could therefore be that if a woman wanted to get pregnant, she should have sex with as many different partners as possible. It has also been found that different sperm 'compete' with each other in the womb, ensuring that only the strongest make it to the egg. This would ensure her offspring would tenbd to come from a stronger gene pool and have the best chance of survival. It's natural selection in a microcosm.
At its core this is also nature v nurture debate. There's plenty of evidence in nature that monogamy is not normal and perhaps even detrimental to a womans chances of procreation. Nurture however is teaching her that this is not as important as finding a sexual partner for life. For men, it is simply about him furthering his genes. The best way for him to do that is have as many people take them as is humanly possible.
I think swinging is popular because it appeals to the natural animal instincts within us and sates their desire, without the rather tiresome moralising of "society" judging you for it, all without the need to betray the feelings of a loved one (if you are with a partner). The fact it is somewhat and judged as wrong by many. also adds to its attraction for some.
It offers a bridge between taking the moral stance of monogamy as good and right, and perhaps fulfilling a natural need to enjoy sex with others on a more fundamental, animalistic level. There's also the added bonus that it's bloody good fun and that we have evolved to find aspects of it, such as seeing our partner with someone else, attractive too.
So Minxy, you may well be programmed by society to think one way, but you are programmed by your genes to think another too. Whoever wins the battle will decide whether you are a swinger or not.
Quote by Resonance
I think the notion of monogamy is ingrained in societal norms, culture and religion and as such, we all grow up in a world where this belief is a central tenet to what is a 'decent society'. This has come about after centuries of modelling by religious leaders, culture and indeed the innate fear of being 'different'.
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Also biology calls into question whether this was actually the right way forward. Sir Robert Winstone presented a series on this a while back. It actually put camera's (don't ask me how) inside a woman and filmed her as she had sex. It showed that sex with her partner didn't produce the same reactions as sex with another that her cervix would 'dip' into his pooled sperm, facilitating its easier passage into her womb. This happened because, presubambly she was more excited and orgasmic with a new man, than her partner.
The upshot of this could therefore be that if a woman wanted to get pregnant, she should have sex with as many different partners as possible. It has also been found that different sperm 'compete' with each other in the womb, ensuring that only the strongest make it to the egg. This would ensure her offspring would tenbd to come from a stronger gene pool and have the best chance of survival. It's natural selection in a microcosm.
At its core this is also nature v nurture debate. There's plenty of evidence in nature that monogamy is not normal and perhaps even detrimental to a womans chances of procreation. Nurture however is teaching her that this is not as important as finding a sexual partner for life. For men, it is simply about him furthering his genes. The best way for him to do that is have as many people take them as is humanly possible.
I think swinging is popular because it appeals to the natural animal instincts within us and sates their desire, without the rather tiresome moralising of "society" judging you for it, all without the need to betray the feelings of a loved one (if you are with a partner). The fact it is somewhat and judged as wrong by many. also adds to its attraction for some.
It offers a bridge between taking the moral stance of monogamy as good and right, and perhaps fulfilling a natural need to enjoy sex with others on a more fundamental, animalistic level. There's also the added bonus that it's bloody good fun and that we have evolved to find aspects of it, such as seeing our partner with someone else, attractive too.
So Minxy, you may well be programmed by society to think one way, but you are programmed by your genes to think another too. Whoever wins the battle will decide whether you are a swinger or not.
Res what a great post and exactly what I was trying to say in less words
Robert Winstone is a genius to me, love all his programmes and such an insight into the working of our own bodies and minds.
A agree with all you said, those are all my feelings too.
I think its good to have the balance of society and genes, its what makes it feel naughty but nice.
Sex God
Quote by Kaznkev
Well said res!
My hope is that the daughters being brought up now will not be programmed with the whore/maddona ideal .
A further point,once liberated does this often lead to futher exploration of other things we previously considered ?
I think it does KaznKev. It's a bit like having 'the forbidden chocolate bar' and after years of just looking at it wondering, actually just peeling it back and taking a bite.
Then you tend to think... "Ah well, I've had a bite now..." so you can scoff a lot more...
I think swingers, because they have taken this not only physical, but mental leap, are more able to discuss subjects. However I think there are some subjects that are not just because they are viewed by society as too naughty, but morally and legally wrong and I think once you get into this area, the idea of something being matters less as it is generally agreed by almost ALL sections of society that this particular act is wrong in any context.
The problem with society is that we have this severely fucked up notion of morals sometimes. I know people who can justify cheating on their partner, but who run a mile because they think swinging is a "sin". So the same act, with the added quality of deceiving a loved one, is somehow better in their eyes than swinging? Strange eh?
Sex God
Hmmmm this one is interesting. I too have had a massive thought change in my life. I can remember a time when I was some what younger, (I have mentioned this in another thread), that I would have become very jealous if a partner was receiving attention from another man.
Now I get massive thrill and turn on from watching my wife having sex with another man, the more she enjoys the sex, the more tuned on I become, at one time in my life this would have been unthinkable, now I can hardly wait for the next time.
Was it social programming that made me think that way in my youth? I am not sure; I think much of the change came from being in a loving and trusting relationship.
Swinging is a fun and social activity that we use to enhance our own special sex lives, hope that make any sense?
Now I get massive thrill and turn on from watching my wife having sex with another man, the more she enjoys the sex, the more tuned on I become, at one time in my life this would have been unthinkable, now I can hardly wait for the next time.
Was it social programming that made me think that way in my youth? I am not sure; I think much of the change came from being in a loving and trusting relationship.
Swinging is a fun and social activity that we use to enhance our own special sex lives, hope that make any sense?
Sex God
If I tried to analyse to much why I like swinging I think I'd give up. I just take it for what it is and thats an enjoyable escape from day to day life. Not worth the head fuck going to deep.
Sex God
I think a lot of peoples thought processes, moral standards and actions are governed by social programming by the various 'powers', peoples peer groups, the popular media and various other influences on peoples lives.
Some are pretty obvious, such as not killing, others seem more to be in place to control, constrain and make the masses easier to manipulate as required.
Some are pretty obvious, such as not killing, others seem more to be in place to control, constrain and make the masses easier to manipulate as required.
Sex God
If you watch small children interacting - most of them are out for themselves alone. At that age it is toys, food and parental attention.
Some win and some lose but none voluntarily give up their own wants to allow the other to gain something. The ones who lose look better behaved - but they have simply not got what they want and give up trying sooner than those who win the childhood battles.
Then our parents and older siblings spend a huge amount of time and energy training us out of that 'bad' behaviour. "Don't grab", "Share nicely", "It's her turn", "don't cheat (in games)".
And that goes on and on "follow our rules". And then you also have the family/culture specific stuff. "Don't cheat (on your spouse)", "be mongamous". etc etc.
In our society the majority of teaching is NOT to do stuff we would otherwise enjoy - and not to enjoy it if we do it. Hands up how many weren't guilted into 'good' behaviour as children.
And very often the upbringing directs girls to give and give up and men to take and take over.
For upbringing read 'brainwashing' which is what it really is. It's what makes society work - but that doesn't make it right for adults. Adults can choose - but we are often hide-bound by our childhood rules. Think it through - then choose which rules to drop.
:D:D:D:D
Some win and some lose but none voluntarily give up their own wants to allow the other to gain something. The ones who lose look better behaved - but they have simply not got what they want and give up trying sooner than those who win the childhood battles.
Then our parents and older siblings spend a huge amount of time and energy training us out of that 'bad' behaviour. "Don't grab", "Share nicely", "It's her turn", "don't cheat (in games)".
And that goes on and on "follow our rules". And then you also have the family/culture specific stuff. "Don't cheat (on your spouse)", "be mongamous". etc etc.
In our society the majority of teaching is NOT to do stuff we would otherwise enjoy - and not to enjoy it if we do it. Hands up how many weren't guilted into 'good' behaviour as children.
And very often the upbringing directs girls to give and give up and men to take and take over.
For upbringing read 'brainwashing' which is what it really is. It's what makes society work - but that doesn't make it right for adults. Adults can choose - but we are often hide-bound by our childhood rules. Think it through - then choose which rules to drop.
:D:D:D:D 
Sex God
Sexpert
In regard to the OP and some of the points made;
Approx 5% of the creatures on the Earth, mate for life. Bearing in mind that life can be long or short depending on the species and or predators! But that means that 95% of the worlds creatures don't.
Also the way I understand it, manogamous relationships were 1st documented in the Babylonian culture; The Alpha males of that society took several women (generally the best) for their pleasure. Then the Beta males took one each (of the left overs) as their property, in the hope that no-one else would steal her away.
If society tells us the Beta way is the best way then the lesser Beta genes will prevail. If on the other hand we were to adopt the Alpha way, then the genes/human race would get ever stronger (in my opinion)
All this seems to lead to a dichotomy between society and evolution. Also between love and amimalistic lust.
Maybe
Approx 5% of the creatures on the Earth, mate for life. Bearing in mind that life can be long or short depending on the species and or predators! But that means that 95% of the worlds creatures don't.
Also the way I understand it, manogamous relationships were 1st documented in the Babylonian culture; The Alpha males of that society took several women (generally the best) for their pleasure. Then the Beta males took one each (of the left overs) as their property, in the hope that no-one else would steal her away.
If society tells us the Beta way is the best way then the lesser Beta genes will prevail. If on the other hand we were to adopt the Alpha way, then the genes/human race would get ever stronger (in my opinion)
All this seems to lead to a dichotomy between society and evolution. Also between love and amimalistic lust.
Maybe
I just found this little snippet (really am too tired to do the whole verified source thing- so bollox to it )
A worldwide ethnographic survey of 849 human societies show 708 whose customs are polygynous (more than 1 wife), 4 polyandrous (more than 1 husband) and 137 monogamous
As Res so eloquently put it, monogamy is not a natural, human condition- it's a form of control imposed by state and church, and now so ingrained that I end up hearing this sort of thing: "I know that in loads of societies what we're doing is fine- but the lifetime of conditioning I've had is telling me otherwise"
I think I'm going back to bed now.
)A worldwide ethnographic survey of 849 human societies show 708 whose customs are polygynous (more than 1 wife), 4 polyandrous (more than 1 husband) and 137 monogamous
As Res so eloquently put it, monogamy is not a natural, human condition- it's a form of control imposed by state and church, and now so ingrained that I end up hearing this sort of thing: "I know that in loads of societies what we're doing is fine- but the lifetime of conditioning I've had is telling me otherwise"
I think I'm going back to bed now.
Resonance wrote:
Where are these soft gentle towns? I'd like to go to one of them, it would suit my ladylike demeanour. :rose:
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Where are these soft gentle towns? I'd like to go to one of them, it would suit my ladylike demeanour. :rose:
Sex God
Quote by Witchy
I think I'm going back to bed now.
*heads the queue by the bed to help Witchy prove monogomy isn't natural* :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by Witchy
Resonance wrote:
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Where are these soft gentle towns? I'd like to go to one of them, it would suit my ladylike demeanour. :rose:
Ooh! I mood a spelung mistook! It's when Mr Attenborough goes on the roadshow in his big green landrover, powered by Hippo spit and Elephant Dung, and goes to towns where the most violent action is when someone blows off in the pub or the local WI have a master bake off.
Somewhere like... I dunno... Sodding Chipbury or Twartling Snackford.
