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Dr Kinky''s surgery : DO try this at home

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hello there .
Id like to share with you some tips to help make things sizzle like a fried egg on full heat :sticky: and offer any advice to assist in making things go "bump (and grind)in the night".
i might get round to doing a daily one....so if you wanna read some more, try further along the thread.
So, my friends lets start with a technique I call the "Kazoo"..................................
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
Oh yeah, for those concerned about health and safety... DO NOT Blow air UP a womans vagina.
Enjoy. :P
ok....heres a serious question...my partner and i have not had sex for 4 months ..how can we rekindle the passion????
Quote by robhambledon
ok....heres a serious question...my partner and i have not had sex for 4 months ..how can we rekindle the passion????

well my advice would be to try and create what you used to have... a long time ago when you were first "courting".
go to the pics, go for walks, hold hands and steal the sneaky seems you both need to talk about sex, not in a pervy way... but to identify what needs to be done. its just a case of finding the answers and acting accordingly.
you need to identify why you havnt had sex. then work through it.......... if i can help i will.
here to help...........
Quote by DeeCee
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
...

Oooh Oooh I've had this done to me and it's mm mm wonderful! wink
Another alternative is for the giver to bring you to the point of orgasm and cover the clit with their lips and stay there... just resting but breathing on the clit, it's ahem very very nice redface
DeeCee.. will you be one of those 'hands on' advisor's? If so... I could have a few minor things you could help with.. :grin:
Quote by jaymar

When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
...

Quote by jaymar
Oooh Oooh I've had this done to me and it's mm mm wonderful! wink

its good isnt it???? thats the reason why i wanted to share
Quote by jaymar
Another alternative is for the giver to bring you to the point of orgasm and cover the clit with their lips and stay there... just resting but breathing on the clit, it's ahem very very nice redface

yep..... i call this a variation on the "statues" tecnhique... which i will share at some point
Quote by jaymar
DeeCee.. will you be one of those 'hands on' advisor's? If so... I could have a few minor things you could help with.. :grin:

yes. when my public liability insurance is sorted out... i am having trouble finding cover for floods and accidental scrapes...
Quote by DeeCee
hello there .
Following on from a theme in the North West chatroom I thought i would open a "surgery" here in the Forum.
Id like to share with you some tips to help make things sizzle like a fried egg on full heat :sticky: and offer any advice to assist in making things go "bump (and grind)in the night".
So, my friends lets start with a technique I call the "Kazoo"..................................
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
Oh yeah, for those concerned about health and safety... DO NOT Blow air UP a womans vagina.
Enjoy. :P
The clinic is open.................

WTF is a kazoo? dunno redface
Quote by lyns
hello there .
Following on from a theme in the North West chatroom I thought i would open a "surgery" here in the Forum.
Id like to share with you some tips to help make things sizzle like a fried egg on full heat :sticky: and offer any advice to assist in making things go "bump (and grind)in the night".
So, my friends lets start with a technique I call the "Kazoo"..................................
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
Oh yeah, for those concerned about health and safety... DO NOT Blow air UP a womans vagina.
Enjoy. :P
The clinic is open.................

WTF is a kazoo? dunno redface
Actually, isn't it that long life milkshake?? :P
Quote by lyns
hello there .
Following on from a theme in the North West chatroom I thought i would open a "surgery" here in the Forum.
Id like to share with you some tips to help make things sizzle like a fried egg on full heat :sticky: and offer any advice to assist in making things go "bump (and grind)in the night".
So, my friends lets start with a technique I call the "Kazoo"..................................
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
Oh yeah, for those concerned about health and safety... DO NOT Blow air UP a womans vagina.
Enjoy. :P
The clinic is open.................

WTF is a kazoo? dunno redface
It's a bit like a yazoo but should not be mixed up with a wazoo if at all possible.
:silly:
Its an instrument that sounds like a comb covered in tracing paper being hummed on (I bet youre going to tell me youve never done that now aint ya..... lol )
or imagine the noise 3 angry wasps make when trapped in an empty jam jar with the lid on and you have goven them a good shaking!!
Quote by Bonedigger
Its an instrument that sounds like a comb covered in tracing paper being hummed on (I bet youre going to tell me youve never done that now aint ya..... lol )
or imagine the noise 3 angry wasps make when trapped in an empty jam jar with the lid on and you have goven them a good shaking!!

Just reach for your copy of Pink Floyd's psychedelic classic 'A Saucerful of Secrets' and listen to the track called 'Corporal Clegg', big time kazooing on there from the mighty Floyd no less.
Quote by niceandgentle
Its an instrument that sounds like a comb covered in tracing paper being hummed on (I bet youre going to tell me youve never done that now aint ya..... lol )
or imagine the noise 3 angry wasps make when trapped in an empty jam jar with the lid on and you have goven them a good shaking!!

Just reach for your copy of Pink Floyd's psychedelic classic 'A Saucerful of Secrets' and listen to the track called 'Corporal Clegg', big time kazooing on there from the mighty Floyd no less.
and anyone who wants to try it on a clit or two......... feedback would also be appreciated... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by Bonedigger
imagine the noise 3 angry wasps make when trapped in an empty jam jar with the lid on and you have goven them a good shaking!!

I have to advise that this is likley to ruin the if someone is performing the "Kazoo " on youat the time !!!!!!
surprised :o :o :o :o :o :o
its a big no-no
I don't know what a kazoo is either, so I googled it, but it doesn't help! :cry:
........I haven't heard a pink floyd song either and I don't know anyone who owns a CD of theirs........ so I am a bit stuck! :cry:

Quote by blonde
I don't know what a kazoo is either, so I googled it, but it doesn't help! :cry:
........I haven't heard a pink floyd song either and I don't know anyone who owns a CD of theirs........ so I am a bit stuck! :cry:

Jaymar............... be a love and help out Blonde.... you know what im talikng about.....lol
Quote by DeeCee
I don't know what a kazoo is either, so I googled it, but it doesn't help! :cry:
........I haven't heard a pink floyd song either and I don't know anyone who owns a CD of theirs........ so I am a bit stuck! :cry:

Jaymar............... be a love and help out Blonde.... you know what im talikng about.....lol
You mean Jaymar is into the Floyd DeeCee?Cool! cool
Quote by blonde
I don't know what a kazoo is either, so I googled it, but it doesn't help! :cry:
........I haven't heard a pink floyd song either and I don't know anyone who owns a CD of theirs........ so I am a bit stuck! :cry:

Boy that's some kazoo you've got there ma'am! sillyhwoar:
Hiya peeps.
I was having a think about "games" that can be played at meets and partys... to help break that uncomfortable silence and to break down the inhibitions.
I found this one which i would like to share....
enjoy!!! wink evil :twisted: :shock: :wink:
The Rules for this are simple...
When two player, the bottle is not required...
YOU WILL NEED:…
Deck of cards without the jokers
A Bottle
Willing people(2 or more)
Some drinks for the unwilling who need courage
RULES:
All players sit in a circle with a shuffled deck of cards and a bottle between them.
First person in the circle spins the bottle, which chooses their partner, then they draw a card...
The card determines what the two of them have to do...
Numbers 2-11 as aces are never ones in this game: The person who span the bottle has to kiss their partner in that many places
Queen: The person who span the bottle receives their choice of a 5 minute massage or a 5 minute lap-dance
King: The person chosen by the bottle receives their choice of a 5 minute massage or a 5 minute lap dance
JACK!(where the drinks come in handy): A jack means that the person who span the bottle owns their partner for 10 minutes and can do whatever they please to them or with them... Probably in another room while the rest of the players continue
Can I have a 5 minute lapdance with them blowing a kazoo at the same time? :shock:
Quote by niceandgentle
Can I have a 5 minute lapdance with them blowing a kazoo at the same time? :shock:

greedy buggar
:shock:
>>>>>>>>>>>>shuffles cards..............
Quote by DeeCee
hello there .
Following on from a theme in the North West chatroom I thought i would open a "surgery" here in the Forum.
Id like to share with you some tips to help make things sizzle like a fried egg on full heat :sticky: and offer any advice to assist in making things go "bump (and grind)in the night".
So, my friends lets start with a technique I call the "Kazoo"..................................
When performing oral sex, you might like to try gently humming a few notes on the clitoris or penis as if you were playing a kazoo.
theres no need to play a full rendition of Colonel Bogey or anything they play at horse Guards parade... just a few notes whilst you're in the middle of some slow , concentrated licking. Start gently and progress from there.
Oh yeah, for those concerned about health and safety... DO NOT Blow air UP a womans vagina.
Enjoy. :P
The clinic is open.................

purely for research purposes you understand....but was wondering if any ladies would like said technique tried out..i would say i do know the tune to YMCA..!!!! lol
Well todays sex tip is for the guys.... one out of my own personal er....errrr arsenal..... cool lol. wink
whilst you are having sex--- whichever the position, and you are thrusting away... its good to try a variation of speeds/techniques.... rather than just going at it like a Navies jackhammer.
I like to liven things up with a few diferent methods.
My fav.. The AK47. Imagine the worlds most popular assault rifle. known for its ability to fire eithe fully or semi automatic. namely in short, repeated bursts of 3 or 4 rounds. Now imagine your dick as one, and you are holding it, armed to the teeth,storming an enemy stronghold.
give it a try fellas. and dont take any prisoners :giveup:
Another one i have tried, is an old Tantric technique.....again it involves grouping your strokes, but this time in a slow measured way.
the preferred position is Missionary and you have to be careful not to count out loud!!!!
group your thrusts into groups of ten, and differentiate between "short"(that only just penetrate) and "long, deep thrusts"
do nine short thrusts, followed by one deep
eight short followed by two deep
and so-on-and-so-forth!!!!!
you can repeat,trying different speeds.. but you will notice the effect of mixing the 2.
If you want to be a real war hero.......... slip in a few bursts of the AK47.
one thing i would say is that if the fucking becomes crazy, hot and you both are close to orgasm..... let yourself go and enjoy the moment. :shock:
Ok then let's try it out:
ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-SIX-SEVEN-OOPS! redface
Sorry just couldn't hold it back long enough surprisedops: rolleyes :oops:
Aaaw a thrusting thursday? damn not tonight josephine, I had a willy sucking wednesday... does that count? wink
Quote by DeeCee
Another one i have tried, is an old Tantric technique.....again it involves grouping your strokes, but this time in a slow measured way.
the preferred position is Missionary and you have to be careful not to count out loud!!!!
group your thrusts into groups of ten, and differentiate between "short"(that only just penetrate) and "long, deep thrusts"
do nine short thrusts, followed by one deep
eight short followed by two deep
and so-on-and-so-forth!!!!!
you can repeat,trying different speeds.. but you will notice the effect of mixing the 2.

Its called The Nine Dragron thrust :smug: :smug: Its my fave!!!
Was taught that one by a tantric master many moons ago!!
Good few tantric techniques can be used without having to be fully into tantra. I use a few tips an tricks from it when giving a massage.....
A penis massage can literally blow ya mind! :rascal: lol
Quote by anais

Another one i have tried, is an old Tantric technique.....again it involves grouping your strokes, but this time in a slow measured way.
the preferred position is Missionary and you have to be careful not to count out loud!!!!
group your thrusts into groups of ten, and differentiate between "short"(that only just penetrate) and "long, deep thrusts"
do nine short thrusts, followed by one deep
eight short followed by two deep
and so-on-and-so-forth!!!!!
you can repeat,trying different speeds.. but you will notice the effect of mixing the 2.

Its called The Nine Dragron thrust :smug: :smug: Its my fave!!!
Was taught that one by a tantric master many moons ago!!
Good few tantric techniques can be used without having to be fully into tantra. I use a few tips an tricks from it when giving a massage.....
A penis massage can literally blow ya mind! :rascal: lol
And a mind massage can literally blow ya er erm ???? redface surprisedops: :oops:
Quote by anais
A penis massage can literally blow ya mind! :rascal: lol

Oh. Yes. It really can.
...if anybody needs to practise...
hi peeps... hope you are all well.
i dont recall seeing a thread for one of the greatest loves of my (sex)life..............
:shock: BABY OIL :shock:
Close your eyes......... picture the smell :P :P
Imagine the fun..... wink confused .... :idea: ........
If you havent tried this with a partner before, I urge you to try it. Massaging ...mmmmmmm
and didnt someone mention "penis massage" around here????? good call!!!!
oh my dear, im getting all warm as i write this.........
It doesnt go too well with condoms.....so play safe and let me know how it went!!!!!
Protect your playing area and have fun..... grab ya partners, and suggest a breast massage!!!!
Quote by DeeCee
hi peeps... hope you are all well.
i dont recall seeing a thread for one of the greatest loves of my (sex)life..............
:shock: BABY OIL :shock:
Close your eyes......... picture the smell :P :P
Imagine the fun..... wink confused .... :idea: ........
If you havent tried this with a partner before, I urge you to try it. Massaging ...mmmmmmm
and didnt someone mention "penis massage" around here????? good call!!!!
oh my dear, im getting all warm as i write this.........
It doesnt go too well with condoms.....so play safe and let me know how it went!!!!!
Protect your playing area and have fun..... grab ya partners, and suggest a breast massage!!!!

Ooooooo, I like baby oil!!! Love giving massages when I can too... all good floreplay eh?
Quote by anais
all good floreplay eh?

yes indeeeeeedy...... biggrin :D :D :D