Dream a little dream...

30 Jan 2004

Gman - I find your last post rather confusing, although not for the first time.

Altho the challenge has been laid by the kidskin clad Will I will refuse it...
In Will's retreat I will not I swear castigate or crow... but merely accept the retreat of a gentleman hwo realises the futility of such an escapade...

It is you who have refused the challenge and Will has not retreated. I believe that leaves him master of the field. I'll pop the elastoplast back in the box then.
Sappho xxx

30 Jan 2004

I once had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow. I woke up in the morning and my pillow was missing.
After due consideration there is only one possible meaning for this dream. - You are in need of a shag. 8)
lhk
Kat

30 Jan 2004

Here Here!
Tell you what Kat - you go and encorage those other two to have their fight and then we will take Sappho off somewhere together and sort her out! OK?
Fred

30 Jan 2004

Tell you what Kat - you go and encorage those other two to have their fight and then we will take Sappho off somewhere together and sort her out! OK?

Agreed - all in the name of the physiological well being of Sappho.
Will, gman, grab yourself a couple of seconds and go down the end of the garden, take as long as you want.
Sappho, lie down on the couch while Fred and I tend to your sub-conscious desires, and yes, you can have seconds as well if you wish, and thirds.
lhk
Kat

30 Jan 2004

Kat wrote:

After due consideration there is only one possible meaning for this dream. - You are in need of a shag.

How right you are!
Fred wrote:

we will take Sappho off somewhere together and sort her out!

I can only express my undying gratitude and state, in all sincerity, bring it on! Oooh, I can't wait! Can I have Wilma and Kit as my seconds? A girl needs her friends around for such a momentous occasion!
Sappho xxx

30 Jan 2004

There, There, Sappho! :therethere:
No! THERE! THERE! hump

That's better...... passionkiss

Excuse me a minute Sappho... :hunk:
"GO ON WILL! - YOUR DOING GREAT MY FRIEND!" duel

"GMAN - GO FOR HIS LEFT - IT'S HIS WEAK SIDE" :duel:
"WILL - HE SAID YOU LOOKED POOFY IN THOSE TIGHTS AND FRILLS!" :duel:
That should kreep tham going for at least a couple of hours.. rolleyes

Now where was I - Oh sorry Kat - no problems, I'll wait my turn again... I'll just start at the other end and we will meet somewhere in the middle.. silly

hwoar:
I may be gone some time... :smitten:
Fred
XXX

30 Jan 2004

I may be gone some time

ETA in the middle in 10 minutes, I will nip out and spray some testosterone on Will and Gman while you keep your end up here.

Can I have Wilma and Kit as my seconds?A girl needs her friends around for such a momentous occasion

I'll grab a couple of Yorkie bars and a sports drink each on the way past the GFZ, it looks like we are going to need them. :evil2:

30 Jan 2004

Quote by Kat
I'll grab a couple of Yorkie bars and a sports drink each on the way past the GFZ

You'd best get those bottles with the easy to remove tops. I remember Fred having difficult with sports drinks a couple of weeks ago!

30 Jan 2004

hi read your dream now what it means can take on many task but still have clear mind to chat

30 Jan 2004

Quote by gottohaveit
hi read your dream now what it means can take on many task but still have clear mind to chat

there you go Sappho... all sorted wink

steve
x

30 Jan 2004

Okay, so far the dream has told me I can multi-task, I'm driving towards a goal creatively, I need sex, I have time to chat and I'm the subject of much duelling in the forum. I have too much on my plate (though not bacon and eggs right now) and I think I'm losing my small but perfectly formed marbles.
Cool. I can deal with all of that. rolleyes

Same poo, different day as my boss would say!
Sappho xxx
PS: Welcome to SH Gottohaveit! Have fun in the forum!

30 Jan 2004

Just caught up this thread... tears streaming.... how are we doing Will?
Somehow think Sappho Fred and Kat will be at it for hours...
Must say you are helping to improve my fencing skills... oops sorry didn't mean to catch you like that...
gmanxxx

30 Jan 2004

Quote by gmanxxx
Just caught up this thread... tears streaming.... how are we doing Will?
Somehow think Sappho Fred and Kat will be at it for hours...
Must say you are helping to improve my fencing skills... oops sorry didn't mean to catch you like that...
gmanxxx

We are fine gman!! I don't think Fred and Kat will be long. They don't have the stamina!! lol

Come on, let's go into the GFZ for a beer. I should think the girlies will have got Fred and Kat to have cleaned it up by now.
:cheers:

30 Jan 2004

Don't count on it my good man....Fred has been spilling choc sauce all over himself.... just to get Alex's attention... is he a tart or what?
so you will be having the mead and I will be on the apple juice of course...
Gmanxxx

30 Jan 2004

Quote by Alexandra
You'd best get those bottles with the easy to remove tops. I remember Fred having difficult with sports drinks a couple of weeks ago!

It's alright Alex - Thighs of steel our Sappho - we just take the bottle and.........
OUCH!
What was that for Sappho?

30 Jan 2004

Quote by KitKat
After due consideration there is only one possible meaning for this dream. - You are in need of a shag.

But that's the only possible meaning of any dream.

30 Jan 2004

Gentlemen, would you mind awfully having your mock battle elsewhere? I'll come and stick elastoplast on when you have finished.
Why do boys always have to thump each other?
Gentlemen, would you mind awfully having your mock battle elsewhere? I'll come and stick elastoplast on when you have finished.
Why do boys always have to thump each other?
Will, my Liege, by the curses of Endor we are undone! Foiled again(sic)!
While we were polishing the rapier those knaves have outflanked us and are making free with the old pork broadsword! Methinks our Lady is lost. Alack and alas it seemeth that chivalry is dead. I fear it is the monastery for thee and me: did old Henry leave any standing?
Well Sappho, in answer to your question, the answer is as follows:
long,long ago, when Harry O was but a young man, and man had just been invented, a man's day was somewhat empty. Even after having sex 3 times, revuing the sum total of his life's work, and learning as much as any man can, it still left 23hrs 52 mins to fill. So, he invented fighting as a means of relieving boredom. this was later superceded by football, share dealing and golf. However, that baic evoltionary quirk remains; man is genetically programmed for argy-bargy.
Furthermore, it is even worse for poets. Everyone knows that a poet is only ever considered any good after he is dead. So, all poets have developed an in-built 'self destruct' button. Hence all the duelling, boozing, suicide and mayhem that has dogged the greatest of the bards.
That is why I, being a far less gifted poet than Will, can only manage being a second. Yes, I enjoy the 'cut and thrust', and like a nice drop of 'claret', but haven't achieved the ultimate death wish.
I hope this explains it for you Sappho; I know, this poetry can seem a strange business, but someone has to do it
Artificer

30 Jan 2004

I know, this poetry can seem a strange business, but someone has to do it

Artificer - poetry is the ultimate business. I have all the time in the world for poets.
Sappho - who has obviously had a glass of wine this evening.

31 Jan 2004

Quote by Sappho
Any man who can recite poetry to me off by heart is welcome in my bed

Here goes:
Sappho stood upon the bridge,
Her voice was all a quiver,
She gave a cough,
Her leg fell off,
And floated down the river!! lol

:lol:
Right move over Sappho and don't look Will wink

:wink:

31 Jan 2004

OK sarge Sppho did not see that one coming good one...
Gmanxxx
could not get my McGonnigall out quick enough!

31 Jan 2004

2 Feb 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Any man who can recite poetry to me off by heart is welcome in my bed

Here goes:
Sappho stood upon the bridge,
Her voice was all a quiver,
She gave a cough,
Her leg fell off,
And floated down the river!! lol

:lol:
Right move over Sappho and don't look Will wink

:wink:
Not quite the style I'd have gone for Sgt. I can feel the need to compose the Sappho Serenade....
8)

2 Feb 2004

I have only just spotted this thread again. I missed it over the weekend.
Probably just as well!! rolleyes

2 Feb 2004

Oh god - here he goes again! rolleyes

Will - your tights are on inside out - the gusset is showing! lol

Someone fetch some elastoplasts and a bucket! :shock:
Fred

3 Feb 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone
Oh god - here he goes again!
Will - your tights are on inside out - the gusset is showing!
Someone fetch some elastoplasts and a bucket! :shock:
Fred

Who? Moi...??
:twisted:

3 Feb 2004

You'll do Bassdude!
Have you seconded for Will before?
No....
Ok some rules for you.....
Don't laugh at his tights and ruffles before a fight - it upsets him
Do admire his gloves - he likes showing them off - I am beginning to think he is the Imelda Marcos of the glove fetish world
Do tell him if he cuts himself playing with the sword before the fight - he hates the opponent to see claret BEFORE the fight has started
Don't cheer his opponent on once the fight has started - he sulks and stops the fight and takes his swords off everyone and goes home
Don't start a book or a sweepstake on how long it takes him to get cut - he always picks the longest time - always loses - and never pays up claiming that there was a technicality that caused him to loose his bet
Hope this helps - and good luck! rolleyes

Fred

3 Feb 2004

One problem Fred,
I don't think Will and I are intending to duel. The intention was to start a band together.
I believe Will was going to play dulcimer and I was going to brush up my lute skills... (or perhaps in my case it should be looting)
8)

4 Feb 2004

artificer wrote:-

long,long ago, when Harry O was but a young man, and man had just been invented,

Oi artificer!
I may be old, but age is relative, (a bit like time, according to Einstein). I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was. When, and if, you get to my age, you will be lucky if you can do it once a night. I have found over the ages that ladies prefer love making to be long and slow. 'The wham, bang, thank you mam' style of todays youngsters is not really appreciated. It hardly gives a lady time to warm up.
Please don't pass criticism about us 'oldies' until you are one yourself.
Harry0
______________________
Mammoth steak is delicious.

4 Feb 2004

Hi Fred!

A couple of points:

Quote by Fred
Don't laugh at his tights and ruffles before a fight - it upsets him

True!

Quote by Fred
Do admire his gloves - he likes showing them off

Certainly!

Quote by Fred
Do tell him if he cuts himself playing with the sword before the fight

That particular comment is currently more ironic than you could possibly know! I'll explain some other time. rotflmao

Quote by Fred
Don't cheer his opponent on once the fight has started

Quite right too! Very bad form. Surely this is the most fundamental rule for any second. Remember whose side you're on. Quite frankly Fred, this has always been your particular weak point and significantly reduces your effectiveness as a second to the point where it becomes decidedly dubious! evil

Please remember that the object is not to stand on the sidelines until you can tell whose winning and then join in with them. Distinct shades of the Stanleys at Bosworth if you ask me. Which, now I come to think of it, is suspiciously close to your part of the world! :dry:

Quote by Fred
Don't start a book or a sweepstake on how long it takes him to get cut - he always picks the longest time - always loses - and never pays up claiming that there was a technicality that caused him to loose his bet

Three things to point out here:
1. I'm not a gambling man.
2. I ALWAYS settle my debts.
3. Errr, I think that should be 'lose', not sure how one 'looses' a bet.
Sorry, everyone. Rambled on again.
I have no doubt that Bassdude would make an admirable second, which we can discuss over a pint of 70/- at the Scotland munch.
Oh, and bassdude, if you ever need to bring Fred back under control you can do it with a single word..........
Wilma!!!!!!!!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

4 Feb 2004

Quote by harry0
artificer wrote:-
long,long ago, when Harry O was but a young man, and man had just been invented,

Oi artificer!
I may be old, but age is relative, (a bit like time, according to Einstein). I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was. When, and if, you get to my age, you will be lucky if you can do it once a night. I have found over the ages that ladies prefer love making to be long and slow. 'The wham, bang, thank you mam' style of todays youngsters is not really appreciated. It hardly gives a lady time to warm up.
Please don't pass criticism about us 'oldies' until you are one yourself.
Harry0
______________________
Mammoth steak is delicious.
Dear Mr O,
This is the second time today that I have been called upon to communicate with 'ordinary' people and I do not intend it to become a habit. However, I have been asked by The Secretary of State to point out that we in the Civil Service have a strict policy of non-ageism and do not tolerate abuse of the older generation. In fact, I myself have reached Civil Service pensionable age (45) and have taken it upon myself to become aquainted with your point of view. Only last week I said a few words to some Chelsea Pensioners whom I happen to knock over whilst riding my bicycle.
May I also point out that we in the Civil Service do understand the problems that senility can bring, particularly its effect upon our hospital performance figures. We are so concerned that we have devised several methods of manipulating said figures so as not to alarm the rest of the proletariat.
We in the Civil Service have strong views on ageism. Indeed, we recently commissioned a jobbing poet from Berkshire to re-write the words of Mr Binyon to reflect this policy:
'We do not grow old
As you little people grow old
Work does not weary us
Nor the Law condemn;
At the going down from Oxford
And in the Honours List
We will remember them.'
Quite fitting what? We would have liked to thank said poet but he appears to have decamped to the Shires.
I would also like to concur with your view on the 'younger generation'. I have always advocated a return to National Service and the re-introduction of Apprenticeships e.g chimney sweeping.
I'm afraid I did not understand your comments about 'lovemaking': the 'fags' at Eton never seemed to complain about my techniques. But out of interest I consulted our Departmental consultant on said matters, Luscious Lucy of Soho, and she assures me that the elderly are well received by her, principally because they still carry cash and do not have a baseball cap peak which jabs her in the eyes.
In conclusion, I have taken it upon myself to further my research into this matter and have ordered the West Mercia Constabulary to track down your colleague, Miss Sappho, so that she can be brought in for interrogation. I believe that she already has handcuffs, quite a bonus for our constables. We have already ascertained that she may well be armed with Russian weapons, and the Chief Constable has asked for the assistance of the RSPCA in the arrest, believing the welfare of said Lady's pet rabbit to be in jeapordy should her detention be lengthy.
I hope that this has answered your questions and that we will never hear from you again
I remain Sir,
Your Superior
Artificer D. Nide (but not for much longer).