Hi, we are about too arrange our first meeting with a single man for some MMF fun with the wife and were wonderinng if it is reasonable to share the costs of the hotel. We are meeting half way between both parties.
Any comments would be appreciated
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etiquette of hotel costs for couple with single male fun
Sharing - 50:50 or thirds seems fair although it's not so much the amount, more the principal for me.
I've seen things posted here in the past like 'single males should be glad they are getting some and should pay! For me, that takes away the mutually of what all of this is about, surely? If anyone asked me to pay then that would probably be an indication to me that they weren't right for me - or that they were a professional hooker ;) I might offer to pay, but that's different
I've seen things posted here in the past like 'single males should be glad they are getting some and should pay! For me, that takes away the mutually of what all of this is about, surely? If anyone asked me to pay then that would probably be an indication to me that they weren't right for me - or that they were a professional hooker ;) I might offer to pay, but that's different
Sex God
we have always shared cost but whilst recently trying to organise a group meet i have been thinkin as they guys r coming from diff areas and we are staying fairly local we should take cost of hotel as they have the cost of their travel it just seemed fairer to me but had travel been equal then would split cost of hotel equally too
i think its important to get a figure of costs asap. then peeps can decide if they really can afford it. the first decision is it halves or thirds, the second is extras like room service or do we bring a flask and sandwiches. the thing is, if you are making it an expensive thing, don't turn mean on each other.
Sexlightened
When I have met in hotels I have always book the room and stayed over, so payed for them myself
Sex God
A 50:50 split between the couple and the guy has always been my philosiphy
Quote by BIoke
Sharing - 50:50 or thirds seems fair although it's not so much the amount, more the principal for me.
I've seen things posted here in the past like 'single males should be glad they are getting some and should pay! For me, that takes away the mutually of what all of this is about, surely? If anyone asked me to pay then that would probably be an indication to me that they weren't right for me - or that they were a professional hooker ;) I might offer to pay, but that's different
I agree with BIoke, I even heard of couples not only asking for the hotel room price but also 'a small contribution' towards other costs - hmmmm makes you wonder what other costs
??:Sharing 50:50 or equally amongst all present if there's more than a single male invited is best way to go really :)
Quote by gingerjo-lee
hiya
when i do hotel meets i always pay for them myself as then its ours for the night not any 1 else's plus to me its like the other person paying for fun to ahve with you
thanks jo
That's coz you're lovely and go about this swinging/dogging lark the way it was meant to be when they invented it
Sex God
As a single female I've always gone with the 50:50 split. I appreciate where the thirds thing comes in with meeting a couple but I don't really look at it like that. Rightly or wrongly, I count them as one. I look at the expense as being shared, between me and them rather than the three of us as singles... unless of course that's the case, three singles meeting for fun is split three ways. 
So whether I was meeting a single male or a couple I always just split it down the middle or I got it one time and they got it the next. I like to be responsible for myself, I don't need anyone else to be responsible for me. If I couldn't afford to pay for the whole room then I wouldn't go.
I'm in the Bloke camp... if someone expected me to pay for everything I'd be uncomfortable. However, if I was to offer that's a whole different ball game. Double standards yes... so shoot me! :mrgreen:
So whether I was meeting a single male or a couple I always just split it down the middle or I got it one time and they got it the next. I like to be responsible for myself, I don't need anyone else to be responsible for me. If I couldn't afford to pay for the whole room then I wouldn't go.
I'm in the Bloke camp... if someone expected me to pay for everything I'd be uncomfortable. However, if I was to offer that's a whole different ball game. Double standards yes... so shoot me! :mrgreen:
Sexpert
Quote by Dirtygirly
As a single female I've always gone with the 50:50 split. I appreciate where the thirds thing comes in with meeting a couple but I don't really look at it like that. Rightly or wrongly, I count them as one. I look at the expense as being shared, between me and them rather than the three of us as singles... unless of course that's the case, three singles meeting for fun is split three ways.
So whether I was meeting a single male or a couple I always just split it down the middle or I got it one time and they got it the next. I like to be responsible for myself, I don't need anyone else to be responsible for me. If I couldn't afford to pay for the whole room then I wouldn't go.
I'm in the Bloke camp... if someone expected me to pay for everything I'd be uncomfortable. However, if I was to offer that's a whole different ball game. Double standards yes... so shoot me! :mrgreen:
I'd agree with the pair of you. If you're sharing the fun you should share the expenses too. Volunteering to pay is fine as it's your choice ( and money ). Expectations ( an unspoken assumption ) that anyone should pay is wrong and for me would make me wonder what other assumptions they're gonna make about me.
I wouldn't say it was double standards DG it's a choice thing.
anyone who is hookering will ask you to pay all the costs, as they will have no intention to pay anything. and to be fair to the working girls etc. they usually put you in the picture pretty quick. what is a problem is people who won't settle on a price beforehand. also you can always check with the hotel on room prices. but i would not expect to pay more than half and would be happy with a lower even split.
Sex God
It's probablly easier when you know each other well. Then you can discuss sharing the whole cost - the person who travels furthest pays less for the hotel cost. Or one pays hotel and one pays dinner (if food is being had) taht kind of thing. But I would always say that the various parties pay equal is a sensible starting point.
The couples count as 2 people thing is a difficult one. Personally, I would count a couple-couple as one but a pair of fuck-buddies as 2. But that's a bit of a nicety. If in doubt, for me, couples count as 1. I suppose the measure is, would the couple split the cost themselves if it was just them? If so, a 3-way splait seems fair.
The couples count as 2 people thing is a difficult one. Personally, I would count a couple-couple as one but a pair of fuck-buddies as 2. But that's a bit of a nicety. If in doubt, for me, couples count as 1. I suppose the measure is, would the couple split the cost themselves if it was just them? If so, a 3-way splait seems fair.
That is one of the reasons we do not do hotel meets.
Firstly to us they seem rather sordid in a funny sort of way, and what happens if you decide to meet at a hotel after chatting on line and on the phone.
Someone has to book the hotel room which usually involves giving over card details, then you meet up and find that one person does not want to swing? Who then pays for the cost of the hotel?
At least if they come to our home and we do not want to take it any further, then nothing lost.
But I can understand that for some meeting at their home is not an option and the only way they can meet is at a hotel. It is impossible to go down the...split three ways rubbish, it is either 50/50 or the guy offers to pick up the tab, which does happen a lot. We have had many guys offer to do that.
As a couple we would never agree to pick up the tab for all of it, but I would be a bit miffed if I paid for a hotel room and the guy failed to show, which I also know to have happened....a lot.
Firstly to us they seem rather sordid in a funny sort of way, and what happens if you decide to meet at a hotel after chatting on line and on the phone.
Someone has to book the hotel room which usually involves giving over card details, then you meet up and find that one person does not want to swing? Who then pays for the cost of the hotel?
At least if they come to our home and we do not want to take it any further, then nothing lost.
But I can understand that for some meeting at their home is not an option and the only way they can meet is at a hotel. It is impossible to go down the...split three ways rubbish, it is either 50/50 or the guy offers to pick up the tab, which does happen a lot. We have had many guys offer to do that.
As a couple we would never agree to pick up the tab for all of it, but I would be a bit miffed if I paid for a hotel room and the guy failed to show, which I also know to have happened....a lot.
Mod
Quote by Dirtygirly
I'm in the Bloke camp...
Never expected to see "Bloke" and "Camp" in the same sentence!!! :grin:
Mal
Well thanks for all the replies,
we have already suggested the half thing and it was accepted with an 'of course, no problem' which takes away any anxiety we had.
It would not be too bad if hotels in the south were reasonable but they are damm expensive. We would love to 'entertain' at home but with kids and all, home is a family home and not quite right for a putting the wife at ease. There is a certain detachment and role playing which is easier to do outside of the home. plus what would the neighbours think....sound proofing is not fab here.
fortunately the hotel is relativly local for both of us so we can both escape 'afterwards' if it feels right. We should also look at hotel policy as no show charges do seem to vary although from hotel to hotel but we are very confident everyone will turn up and certain we will all play.
again thanks for all the replies.
Smokey J
we have already suggested the half thing and it was accepted with an 'of course, no problem' which takes away any anxiety we had.
It would not be too bad if hotels in the south were reasonable but they are damm expensive. We would love to 'entertain' at home but with kids and all, home is a family home and not quite right for a putting the wife at ease. There is a certain detachment and role playing which is easier to do outside of the home. plus what would the neighbours think....sound proofing is not fab here.
fortunately the hotel is relativly local for both of us so we can both escape 'afterwards' if it feels right. We should also look at hotel policy as no show charges do seem to vary although from hotel to hotel but we are very confident everyone will turn up and certain we will all play.
again thanks for all the replies.
Smokey J
Sex God
Quote by BIoke
I'm in the Bloke camp...
Never expected to see "Bloke" and "Camp" in the same sentence!!! :grin:
Mal
SOOoooooo predictable dad! I'm in the northwest right now, went somewhere the other night, thought of you.. and rubbed myself! No fog! :twisted:
;)
A bit off topic, but I also went 'Somewhere' the other night, and no fog, but plenty of other very interesting things happening
Back on topic. We dont do hotel meets, but if we did then I think either we would pay (so we could have the room for the rest of the night) or if the guy offered, we would go halves, however, my preference would be to pay for the room ourselves.
