Ok it wasnt fair since he wasnt here to defend himself.
Cogitating on our favourite old threads , and being of good humour after a lovely weekend at Corfe Castle ( admonishment by Moderators not withstanding ) Silky came upon a reminder of threads past and we thought we'd let you know that it appears Davej has now evolved beyond double jointed self fellatio and moved on to star in Hollywood blockbuster comedies !
Alas I'm not the person depicted, the only time we have ventured from the security of our own home was just recently, when we ventured across to America after our existence was made public to take part in a Jerry Springer type chat show. In all honesty we wouldn't have bothered had we known what it was going to be like, but by the time we found out it was too late to stop things. I guess the title of the show 'Apeing Around. A Tale of British Swingers' should have given us a clue as to the content of the show, but we are still trusting folk and therefore naieve.
The trip was doomed to failure from the start. There was a hell of an argument at the airport when security claimed that the wooden leg mrs davej wears was not an approved prosthetic and could not travel in the cabin with us. They claimed that her leg was a stiff object without the usual joints that modern legs have in them and as such could be used as a club type weapon against other passengers or as a weapon in a hijack attempt. I desperately tried to point out the weakness of their case citing the fact that if mrs davej was going to use her leg as a club against any individual it would involve her removing it and that by the time she had risen from her seat and hopped down the aisle towards the cockpit brandishing her leg above her head, there was every likelyhood that the cabin staff would spot her and that restraining a woman on one leg is easily achievable by no more than a gentle nudge sideways, easily accomplished by any Brenda and Stacy on their cabin crew books. The security staff were having none of it, insisting that I might take the initiative and use her leg as a club myself. Again I pointed out the flaw in their thinking, I tried to tell them that short of her hopping behind me or my carrying her down the aisle on my back, both of which would slow my attack dramatically, there was no way a hi-jacker would set off on their mission and leave their partner in crime, sat in seat 54c legless and at the mercy of the other passengers, it made no sense. It mattered not a jot and her leg was taken away to travel in the baggage compartment, amongst the passengers luggage and a consignment of stuffed animals that were being shipped across to a taxidermists shop in New York.
We boarded the plane and took our seats determined to not let this altercation spoil things for us and I had to bite my tongue very hard when the Supervisor of the cabin crew, came to us and asked if we would like a free up grade to a fire escape seat where there was more leg room. Mrs davej says that this was just an unfortunate coincidence, but I'm convinced, that fucker, had been made aware of the argument at security, the removal of her leg and was taking the piss.
On arrival in America, we passed through the necessary checks and went across to the carousel to await our baggage. After what seemed like an age and with the whole flight of passengers crowded around the carousel all waiting for their luggage, a solitary item appeared through the curtains onto the conveyor belt. It was a stuffed American Beaver from the taxidermists collection and in it's jaws some bastard had stuck mrs davej's wooden leg. The hoots a hollers from the other passengers as the beaver and it's new found 'log' stuffed in it's mouth, trundled down the conveyor, must have been music to the low life behind the curtain, but it broke mrs davej's heart. It took two complete revolutions of the carousel with no other item on it, before we had the courage to claim the leg. Unfortunately to claim the leg, we first had to claim the beaver. I grabbed at the beast and was immediately accosted by the taxidermist who quite rightly, claimed the beast was one of his. I didn't dispute this and explained that I needed to get the leg out of it's jaws. This proved more difficult than I thought as the baggage handlers had wedged her leg tightly in the beavers teeth to keep it in place. There now ensued a tug of war, with me pulling on the wooden leg and the taxidemist tugging for all his might on the beavers tail in an attempt to part the objects. Again the waiting crowd found this entertaining and amongst the predictably childish quips about 'wood' and 'beaver' we pulled and pulled until finally we parted leg and beaver, although not without sustaining some damage to the leg as the teeth cut a groove in it's length.
I am currently in the process of claiming for the damage to her leg on my household insurance, however there is a hold up, as the company are unsure if teethmark inflicted into a leg by a beaver are covered under personal injury or if because of the properties of the leg and the fact that the beaver was mostly saw dust, wether or not it should be a claim under household contents.
We left the airport as quickly as we could and were delighted that the television studio had sent a limo to collect us and take us to our hotel. We were less that delighted the next day when we went into the studio to start filming for the chat show, but as this has been a long post, I shall leave that story for another day.
Those of you who like us are worried about the new and agressive appearance of Mr Davej's avatar will be pleased to recieve an update on the " Evolution" of Davej.
Its seems most of the beaver/woodenleg related complications in life have been resolved for the davej's and after six weeks on the Atkins diet having lost alot of weight dave has opened a new website selling tactile velvet underpants . In his new svelte state he has taken to modelling the pants himself and has never appeared happier
We're all very proud to be called davej fans !
Peace
Looks like we men do not need women for blowjobs anymore
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :laughabove: :P 
excuses, excuses.
:lol2: 
we're not worthy!! please stop it, can't take any more.. 
