gladly hold your hand if your nervous down here
Some of us are lovely, just navigate around SXBoy (as fast as you can manage!) :twisted:
Dont drink the beer its crap
beer has lemonade in it down there...stay well clear
dont ask for gravy, peas or curry sauce with your fish and chips
dont expect anything other than mash with your pie....and those horrible jellied eels things. eeeeeewwwwwwww
the pound is worth alot less down there, there is an exchange rate of about 1 northern pound to a southern 50p. This can get confusing as they currency is the same, but everything will cost approximately double.
any signs that say 'the north' will direct you to north london....dont actually think this is 'the' north.
hope this helps.
dont ask for a cob..........they think its a horse! :shock:
and if any one out they doesent no what i am on about .......a cob is what others call a roll!............... but it a bloody cob!...cob cob cob!
"WARNING ........."
"Amber Alert"
When you visit that southern city,
You may think it very pretty,
Just two things of which you must be aware,
Don't drink the water and don't breath the air.
Lots of things there that you drink,
But stay away from the kitchen sink,
The breakfast shit we throw away,
You'll drink down there the very next day.
Polluted, that city, they got smog and sewage and mud,
Turn on the tap and get and get hot and cold running crud.
********************************************
You have been warned.
phredd
OOOOOOOO getting scared now!
(OK please folks - whatever happens - keep this lighthearted!
Well, eee by gum, Will, what an informative post!
This has dispelled many misconceptions many of us 'up north' have about your part of the world.
I note, with interest, your suggestion of finding a friendly local to take hold of some aspect of my anatomy and also, eee by gum, that Thursday is the best day for a little home cooked sustinentance.
Well I must go and see to the ferrets and whippets before I start packing.
Do you think it would be prudent to pack a couple of meat pies to ensure I ward off starvation till Thursday?
I don't think I will have time to exchange my currency before morning.
If they don't accept what I have in my purse - will they accept payment in kind do you think?
OK - on Fred's advice I popped into Morrisons and bought one of those 'Travelling South' hampers and, wow - they are excellent!
There was
a Boiled Black Pudding (the curly one in links - not one of those namby pampy straight ones for frying/grilling)
Ful fat streaky bacon - thick cut.
1/2lb of black tripe soaked in vinegar.
a pigs trotter.
2 rounds of strawberry jam butties.
1 meat pie - with extra aspic and gristle
one pickled egg.
and two bottle of Mackies
OK - I think I'm all set now.
Just need to make sure I have my phrase book handy and I'll be on my way!
and money for the tolls you will need both. :lol: 
. Admittedly the dreaded 'Estuary English' seems to be getting everywhere 
. Thinking we are all cockney is like thinking that everyone in the North says "Ee, bah gum" every second sentence - I know that isn't true because out of the hundreds of Northerners I have met there have been at least two that didn't!
. The beer is indeed hideously expensive as are all drinks in hotels and trendy wine bars. You will find that the locals steer clear of these places and find 'proper' pubs hidden in back streets etc.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: