Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Feeling a bit down!
:lol: :lol:Babe ........... dont feel bad !!!
I had to go back to work when my twins were 3 months old .... and I worked away so only got home at weekends ! I hardly saw them for the first year of their lives and it broke my heart .......and wasnt through choice !
The only person who can decide if what you are doing is right for you ......... is you !!
So . take time think about what makes you happy and whats best for you and your child.
A happy Mum is the best thing for a happy baby !!!
Good luck chick
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxx
I had to go back to work when my twins were 3 months old .... and I worked away so only got home at weekends ! I hardly saw them for the first year of their lives and it broke my heart .......and wasnt through choice !
The only person who can decide if what you are doing is right for you ......... is you !!
So . take time think about what makes you happy and whats best for you and your child.
A happy Mum is the best thing for a happy baby !!!
Good luck chick
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxx
Have you just started this year? I suppose you must have done if you left the RAF to have the baby who is now just seven months, yes?
If you were my daughter I would be doing all in my power to help you carry on at university. Three (or maybe four?) years might seem a long time and missing so much of your baby time but it really isn't all that long and the benefits of higher education are immense.
Your entire family will benefit from your degree. You have to make up your own mind, I know that, but I think you should do whatever you can to carry on with your studies.
Best Wishes
Mollie
If you were my daughter I would be doing all in my power to help you carry on at university. Three (or maybe four?) years might seem a long time and missing so much of your baby time but it really isn't all that long and the benefits of higher education are immense.
Your entire family will benefit from your degree. You have to make up your own mind, I know that, but I think you should do whatever you can to carry on with your studies.
Best Wishes
Mollie
Personally i would do your uni course, at the end of the day you are doing this to better yourself and get a good job for your child, i assum anyway thats why most go to uni, it is hard working with small kids i have done it myself and me and my hubby are now in a situation where i work nights and he does days and i leave 3 hours after he gets in, it is hard but worth it in the long run when in a few years down the line you are where you want to be, you will look back and be glad you stuck it out, if you pack up in a few years you will be in the same place as you are now but with a older child, of course its upto you but i feel after getting married and having kids to many women put themselves last and try and keep everyone else happy...ask yourself what you really want to do...if you really want this uni place stick with it you family will still be there after :thumbup:
Hey Princess :therethere:
Right, we all have rough patches and bad days, so dont be doing anything about your uni course right now - step back and look at the bigger picture....
i went back to uni when my daughter was just a toddler, full-time, and yes it's hard going but remember, your degree will give your son a better quality of life. I had lots of people saying 'ooo dont you think you should be a 'proper mum' and such like, and it really didnt help things at all. It just made me feel more guilty and thus starts the downward spiral.
There is always the option of speaking to someone at student support, and talk to your lecturers. If wosrt comes to the worst defer your studies and pick up where you left off next year. I'm not advising you to do that just yet though. You obviously impressed them enough to get the place, most universities will bend over backwards to support students as it just doesnt look good on their league tables when students simply drop out of courses.
The academic term flys by - and there are lots of holidays and semester breaks etc. Its my impression from your post that right now everything is getting a bit much and you're ready for the Xmas break. Spend some quality time with your boy over the holiday - gives you something to look foward to and aim for - and just think, that'll be a whole semester done and dusted!
Stick with it til Xmas, consider your options in a few weeks once your whole semester's grades are back and you've had a bit of breathing space.
It doesnt help that your fella's away and not around to support ya (yes of course he is mentally, but sometimes we all just need someone to physically lean on sometimes, ya know? ) but you've landed here at SH hun and there's loads of folk here who are able to lend a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on sometimes! I bet you'll get loads of responses to your post, lots of moral support, and that might just help you get through
You also have support at uni - use it, that's what they're paid for!
I could go on and on about this for 4 pages, but I wont - much of what i want to say will be said by others - but feel free to pm anytime you might need to sound off and just get it out your system. I've been there hun
Right, we all have rough patches and bad days, so dont be doing anything about your uni course right now - step back and look at the bigger picture....
i went back to uni when my daughter was just a toddler, full-time, and yes it's hard going but remember, your degree will give your son a better quality of life. I had lots of people saying 'ooo dont you think you should be a 'proper mum' and such like, and it really didnt help things at all. It just made me feel more guilty and thus starts the downward spiral.
There is always the option of speaking to someone at student support, and talk to your lecturers. If wosrt comes to the worst defer your studies and pick up where you left off next year. I'm not advising you to do that just yet though. You obviously impressed them enough to get the place, most universities will bend over backwards to support students as it just doesnt look good on their league tables when students simply drop out of courses.
The academic term flys by - and there are lots of holidays and semester breaks etc. Its my impression from your post that right now everything is getting a bit much and you're ready for the Xmas break. Spend some quality time with your boy over the holiday - gives you something to look foward to and aim for - and just think, that'll be a whole semester done and dusted!
Stick with it til Xmas, consider your options in a few weeks once your whole semester's grades are back and you've had a bit of breathing space.It doesnt help that your fella's away and not around to support ya (yes of course he is mentally, but sometimes we all just need someone to physically lean on sometimes, ya know? ) but you've landed here at SH hun and there's loads of folk here who are able to lend a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on sometimes! I bet you'll get loads of responses to your post, lots of moral support, and that might just help you get through
You also have support at uni - use it, that's what they're paid for!
I could go on and on about this for 4 pages, but I wont - much of what i want to say will be said by others - but feel free to pm anytime you might need to sound off and just get it out your system. I've been there hun
Princess,
There are plenty of ex-servicemen and women, and serving on the forum.
I say that so you'll hopefully accept that there are at least a few people here that can positively identify with what you're facing at the moment.
For me (as a bloke) - I missed the birth and early months of two of my children, and then lots more later, due the the limits and demands of military service.
You have at your disposal the whole host of your family and friends, the services "welfare" type people and the friends you are about to make here on Swinging Heaven.
Make use of what you can, and what you feel comfortable doing.
I'm fairly sure the advice you'll get will be equally split between "You're young enough to wait, bring up your small child; then concentrate on you" - and "Don't give in. Carry on. You can work through it."
As has been said above; the only person that can actually make the decision is you.
Listen to the advice given, then take the bits YOU want to.
Ditto for the support that will be offered.
It might not seem so at the moment, but you really do have the world at your feet.
I wish you well.
There are plenty of ex-servicemen and women, and serving on the forum.
I say that so you'll hopefully accept that there are at least a few people here that can positively identify with what you're facing at the moment.
For me (as a bloke) - I missed the birth and early months of two of my children, and then lots more later, due the the limits and demands of military service.
You have at your disposal the whole host of your family and friends, the services "welfare" type people and the friends you are about to make here on Swinging Heaven.
Make use of what you can, and what you feel comfortable doing.
I'm fairly sure the advice you'll get will be equally split between "You're young enough to wait, bring up your small child; then concentrate on you" - and "Don't give in. Carry on. You can work through it."
As has been said above; the only person that can actually make the decision is you.
Listen to the advice given, then take the bits YOU want to.
Ditto for the support that will be offered.
It might not seem so at the moment, but you really do have the world at your feet.
I wish you well.
Quote by PrincessSwallows
Hullo
Im just back from visiting my mum and feeling down.
I have a situation that I would like you lots opinion on,Please?
I am a student and I have a 7 month old baby. My partner is in the RAF and I left the RAF ti have the buhbah. My hubby is posted away and He will be back in september. I live in the middle of nowhere and it gets very lonely here. My mum wants me to go home until christmas, but this would mean leaving my uni course? Also i feel guilty that my son is only 7 month and in full time nursery and i dont get to see him very much or play with him. Im missing out on all the new baby things! I want to spend time with him, but my uni course was so hard to get onto :( If i leave now I might not get another chance?
Also cos i am at uni full time and my husband works shifts, wen he is bk from detachment we will be like passing ships in the night? Never really seing each other?
#I keep thinkin i shud wait till the little one is in school then do sumthing but then i think about how much i enjoy uni??
Im so confussed and wud like sum opinions etc??
Sorry to take the mood down and be all soppy with you's.
Just Im feeling shit :(
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Having been doing a uni course and giving it up for different reasons, you're better off sticking to doing that course. The term finishes in about 6 weeks and you'll have plenty of time to see your family. Stick with the course and when it's over, you'll be in a better position to plan to do things. Otherwise your next available opportunity will be in 18 years time.
I gave up a RNMS placement to get married and move to Germany with Kat. We have now been married for 23 years, have four children and I am a Senior Manager in the NHS.
I did not work whilst I was raising the children apart from shift work. Kat and I spent many a year as 'ships that passed in the night' whilst the kids were young. I would not give up my time with the kids whilst they were young ever. This gave me the opportunity to bond with them and understand them as they were able to learn to understand Kat and I. When they were really old enough to understand life choices, I went back to work full time and went to Uni and made a career for myself. Now our kids are adults, they are able to respect the choices their parents made without feeling compromised. Our eldest is in her 3rd year at uni herself, and is able to appreciate, recognise the benefits to her and respect the choices we made.
I grant that this would not always work for everyone - and believe me, it was bloody hard work at times! But life has recently taught me that you never know what is around the corner, and children are precious. Careers can be resumed, children can't.
Kit
xxxxx
I did not work whilst I was raising the children apart from shift work. Kat and I spent many a year as 'ships that passed in the night' whilst the kids were young. I would not give up my time with the kids whilst they were young ever. This gave me the opportunity to bond with them and understand them as they were able to learn to understand Kat and I. When they were really old enough to understand life choices, I went back to work full time and went to Uni and made a career for myself. Now our kids are adults, they are able to respect the choices their parents made without feeling compromised. Our eldest is in her 3rd year at uni herself, and is able to appreciate, recognise the benefits to her and respect the choices we made.
I grant that this would not always work for everyone - and believe me, it was bloody hard work at times! But life has recently taught me that you never know what is around the corner, and children are precious. Careers can be resumed, children can't.
Kit
xxxxx
I only re-iterate what others have all ready said 
Every one has ups and downs, but they pass, with determintation and understanding, you can always get through things like this, no matter how hard it may seem at the time.
As for the uni course, I think you can't possibley leave it. Simply because it is something obviously very important to you, to try to get on it for so long, and also it will matter a huge amount down the line for yourself and your family :)
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope santa is good to you and your hubby and maybe get some extra time together :)
chin up,,,,pip pip and all that
Every one has ups and downs, but they pass, with determintation and understanding, you can always get through things like this, no matter how hard it may seem at the time.
As for the uni course, I think you can't possibley leave it. Simply because it is something obviously very important to you, to try to get on it for so long, and also it will matter a huge amount down the line for yourself and your family :)
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope santa is good to you and your hubby and maybe get some extra time together :)
chin up,,,,pip pip and all that
Orgasminator
Quote by Darkfire
The academic term flys by - and there are lots of holidays and semester breaks etc. Its my impression from your post that right now everything is getting a bit much and you're ready for the Xmas break. Spend some quality time with your boy over the holiday - gives you something to look foward to and aim for - and just think, that'll be a whole semester done and dusted!
Nice idea, but student midwives (or nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, etc, etc) don't get academic holidays, they work full time and as already mentioned do shift work. It's bloody tough, which is why so many people do drop out (well over 30% for nursing courses, according to the last figures I read).
PrincessSwallows - my advice would be to stick with your course if at all possible, as the sooner you get it done the sooner you can get on with being a qualified midwife. Although moving back to your Mum's for a short period of time ('till christmas would make it less than two months) might help in the short term, it would put your studies back by a considerably longer period of time. As Darkfire suggests, the student support people at uni are definitely worth talking to.
Anyway, I hope that whatever you choose you eventually qualify and enjoy your job, just don't ever talk shop in my presence (my mother in law is a midwife and I can pretty much guarantee that ever time we see her I'll hear something that makes me feel queasy).
Sex God
Quote by bigDewi69
Hullo
Im just back from visiting my mum and feeling down.
I have a situation that I would like you lots opinion on,Please?
I am a student and I have a 7 month old baby. My partner is in the RAF and I left the RAF ti have the buhbah. My hubby is posted away and He will be back in september. I live in the middle of nowhere and it gets very lonely here. My mum wants me to go home until christmas, but this would mean leaving my uni course? Also i feel guilty that my son is only 7 month and in full time nursery and i dont get to see him very much or play with him. Im missing out on all the new baby things! I want to spend time with him, but my uni course was so hard to get onto :( If i leave now I might not get another chance?
Also cos i am at uni full time and my husband works shifts, wen he is bk from detachment we will be like passing ships in the night? Never really seing each other?
#I keep thinkin i shud wait till the little one is in school then do sumthing but then i think about how much i enjoy uni??
Im so confussed and wud like sum opinions etc??
Sorry to take the mood down and be all soppy with you's.
Just Im feeling shit :(
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Having been doing a uni course and giving it up for different reasons, you're better off sticking to doing that course. The term finishes in about 6 weeks and you'll have plenty of time to see your family. Stick with the course and when it's over, you'll be in a better position to plan to do things. Otherwise your next available opportunity will be in 18 years time.
Why 18 years? Children go to school full time by their fifth birthday.
Princess, assuming you've only started the university course since having your baby and this academic year, then you've only been on it for a month or so? If you're struggling now, maybe you need a serious rethink of what your priorities are. As an aside, you haven't mentioned anything of what your husband thinks. Perhaps he's someone you should be discussing this with, as it might actually matter to him too.
Quote by Deviated Prevert
The academic term flys by - and there are lots of holidays and semester breaks etc. Its my impression from your post that right now everything is getting a bit much and you're ready for the Xmas break. Spend some quality time with your boy over the holiday - gives you something to look foward to and aim for - and just think, that'll be a whole semester done and dusted!
Nice idea, but student midwives (or nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, etc, etc) don't get academic holidays, they work full time and as already mentioned do shift work. It's bloody tough, which is why so many people do drop out (well over 30% for nursing courses, according to the last figures I read).
Granted DP, sorry, I'd already posted that before Princess said she was a midwifery student.
princess.......i take it that your forst post.....as was mentioned later on was to get us or 1 of us to leave uni lol.....
this said i think you dont need help in that...i bet that talking to all your family members including your husband.......they all say they will accept whatever you decide.......which doesnt help you at all..........
my view for what it is worth is that academic courses /jobs can be great as it provides social and monetary(eventually) stability...
but....and this is what you wanted to hear i suppose.......you will never get a chance to be with your baby again at this age.........please ...every 1....dont get mad at me here.....i think a baby needs its mum in the early years...and dad too upto a degree.....that is not meant to be sexist.....
however hard it was to get on the course it will be ble to be picked up later im sure of it.......as you say in the next 5-10 years depending on children status lol......
it is your own decision though princess at the end of the day....
this said i think you dont need help in that...i bet that talking to all your family members including your husband.......they all say they will accept whatever you decide.......which doesnt help you at all..........
my view for what it is worth is that academic courses /jobs can be great as it provides social and monetary(eventually) stability...
but....and this is what you wanted to hear i suppose.......you will never get a chance to be with your baby again at this age.........please ...every 1....dont get mad at me here.....i think a baby needs its mum in the early years...and dad too upto a degree.....that is not meant to be sexist.....
however hard it was to get on the course it will be ble to be picked up later im sure of it.......as you say in the next 5-10 years depending on children status lol......
it is your own decision though princess at the end of the day....
Well, PS, I'm a guy and I have no kids so I am totally unqualified to comment....but that's never stopped me before ! Feel free to ignore any or all of the following.
Despite the above I can understand how difficult this situation must be for you. Some random thoughts that do occur:
If you do decide to maximise time with your baby, do your utmost to defer your studies rather than abandon them (for now). But if you can't defer, remember - you got in once so are quite capable of getting in again.
What about studying something else from home, like an OU course? Something that would give you a head start when your resume your midwivery studies?
If you have to move because of your husband's posting next year, could you transfer to a similar course in your new location?
As the grown-up (technically!) child of a mother who stayed at home until her youngest went to school, from experience I can say that it provided the basis of wonderfully strong relatinships with all her kids. But that doesn't mean to say a different approach could not work just as well.
I hope you find an answer with which you feel totally comfortable and at peace.
P.S. Doesn't look to me like you're in need of a boob job!!
Despite the above I can understand how difficult this situation must be for you. Some random thoughts that do occur:
If you do decide to maximise time with your baby, do your utmost to defer your studies rather than abandon them (for now). But if you can't defer, remember - you got in once so are quite capable of getting in again.
What about studying something else from home, like an OU course? Something that would give you a head start when your resume your midwivery studies?
If you have to move because of your husband's posting next year, could you transfer to a similar course in your new location?
As the grown-up (technically!) child of a mother who stayed at home until her youngest went to school, from experience I can say that it provided the basis of wonderfully strong relatinships with all her kids. But that doesn't mean to say a different approach could not work just as well.
I hope you find an answer with which you feel totally comfortable and at peace.
P.S. Doesn't look to me like you're in need of a boob job!!
Quote by PrincessSwallows
Ok
Much tears and tantrums on the fone to my husband later and.........
Im sticking unitl Xmas, then gunna give it a trial run after, wen he gets bk and gunna se how it fairs then?
Ta for all yor help guys
Much love xxx
Your problem is one that I have seen a lot of in the last 5 years, how do I know that - well I am a university student adviser in the daytime and prat around here at other times.
If you want to you can pm me, and I maybe able to give you some advice.
If you leave uni you will regret it later on. you only have to look at the adult education available today to see how many peps go back into education. I for one regret leaving to get a job and found myself later in like going back into education. When my children were very young I was working 12 hour night shifts and did miss a lot of them growing up, but it made the time we had together even more precious. Looking back I never regretted working the long shifts as it provided the kids with a good standard of living.
Admit I skip read from your initial post,but my gut instinct from that post was.......You will feel unforfilled/lonely/talking babble due to only company being baby(as much as you love the ikkle cutie)...........
Your relationship with hubby and baby has plenty of time to grow,who knows what is round the next corner,take this time to make yourself feel you are giving them a happy,contented you......
sorry if I have repeated several posts on this thread and i probably have( i did say i skip read it).....
Pebbs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Your relationship with hubby and baby has plenty of time to grow,who knows what is round the next corner,take this time to make yourself feel you are giving them a happy,contented you......
sorry if I have repeated several posts on this thread and i probably have( i did say i skip read it).....
Pebbs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
