Female Flatulence

7 Sep 2005

Quote by markz
be a gentleman dave and get the custard creams out

I would markz, but there's a real danger that if this is a wrong un and I go dunk when I should have shagged then I might get a cuff round the ear and if I go shag when I should have dunked I could get burned.........lifes never bloody easy is it.

7 Sep 2005

Quote by Shadow_Walker
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???
I bet it does'nt happen to the Queen... :huh:

7 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???
I bet it does'nt happen to the Queen... :huh:
Nor my mum!

7 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???
I bet it does'nt happen to the Queen... :huh:
Why?? It might not any more admitidly, but the human body tends not to alter drastically from one to the other in these terms. Next time someone gets the chance get the King (can't remeber his official title) drunk and ask him. biggrin

7 Sep 2005

Quote by markz
be a gentleman dave and get the custard creams out

Personally, I like dipping shortbread biscuits in coffee - but to each their own, I suppose.

7 Sep 2005

so are there actually any ladies on the forum?

8 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound...

What :!:
You measure couple by the pound confused

:
Most folk make do with inches :!:
Anyway we're metric now so you should do it by the Kilo.
biggrin

8 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???
I bet it does'nt happen to the Queen... :huh:
I bet it does, but it comes out all plummy!

8 Sep 2005

Quote by westerross
To a bloke a fanny fart gives him a sense of achievement! :twisted:

Achievement? If I could do one of those I'd call it a bluddy miracle! :shock:

8 Sep 2005

Quote by markz
be a gentleman dave and get the custard creams out

Withdraw........................a little press on the tum..............................and carry on rolleyes

8 Sep 2005

Hi! DD,
Just to let you know that wasnt my finger it was my fist, and I nearly lost my wrist watch!!!!!

8 Sep 2005

You cheeky bugger I can see I am going to have to come round your house and sort you out biggrin

And I know whre you live so jsut watch it evil

DD

8 Sep 2005

personally, i quite like it, it can bring a welcomed break, by inducing laughter into the situation.
oh, and misschief, i would dearly love to hear some of the other tunes that you ,ay be able to whistle lol

8 Sep 2005

"Better out than in" as they say. I mean, you wouldn't want a woman to gradually inflate from the inside, as if she's being pumped up by her fella....and, when the pressure reaches a certain point, popping of his erection and going swirling round the room making an extended 'prprprp' sort of noise.

8 Sep 2005

pmsl
its fine, i mean its not like they smell, now that would be embarresing
xx fem xx

8 Sep 2005

I am new to this board and thought I would say 'hi' to everyone, plus I thought I would comment here cos I havent had a partner for years who has been able to fanny fart and find I really miss it. It was an amusing part of sex, but also made me feel good about myself lol
Anyone in or near Oxfordshire who is good at fanny farts would like to let me re-experience it, please let me know lol ;)

8 Sep 2005

Quote by SexMad75m
I am new to this board and thought I would say 'hi' to everyone, plus I thought I would comment here cos I havent had a partner for years who has been able to fanny fart and find I really miss it. It was an amusing part of sex, but also made me feel good about myself lol
Anyone in or near Oxfordshire who is good at fanny farts would like to let me re-experience it, please let me know lol ;)

Oh just great confused

get a new bloke in here, first post, first thread and now all he knows about us is how 'tunefull' all the SH women are :undecided: redface

Welcome to the SH SexMad75m wave

How good are you with yer fingers?? Cos I need help to perfect the National Anthem cool

Misschief - not wanting to be outdone by Wales_cpl and her "coom bye ahh me lords" rotflmao

8 Sep 2005

I made out with a chinese woman for a while. She had a peculiar habit.
As she orgasmed she held her breath and various complicated things. The result was that she farted from both ears.
Not exactly very thrilling or desirable. Just really really silly.

8 Sep 2005

Quote by duncanlondon
I made out with a chinese woman for a while. She had a peculiar habit.
As she orgasmed she held her breath and various complicated things. The result was that she farted from both ears.
Not exactly very thrilling or desirable. Just really really silly.

Whats an orgasm? dunno

8 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
......and now all he knows about us is how 'tunefull' all the SH women are....
:

In my dreams girl...in my dreams!

8 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh just great get a new bloke in here, first post, first thread and now all he knows about us is how 'tunefull' all the SH women are :undecided:
Welcome to the SH SexMad75m How good are you with yer fingers?? Cos I need help to perfect the National Anthem
Misschief - not wanting to be outdone by Wales_cpl and her "coom bye ahh me lords"

I just don't wanna be at the next munch that does a kareoke, cos I just know someone is gonna have a bad idea based on a barber shop quartet theme.

8 Sep 2005

Quote by davej

Oh just great get a new bloke in here, first post, first thread and now all he knows about us is how 'tunefull' all the SH women are :undecided:
Welcome to the SH SexMad75m How good are you with yer fingers?? Cos I need help to perfect the National Anthem
Misschief - not wanting to be outdone by Wales_cpl and her "coom bye ahh me lords"

I just don't wanna be at the next munch that does a kareoke, cos I just know someone is gonna have a bad idea based on a barber shop quartet theme.
I bags the Tenor! :twisted:

8 Sep 2005

Quote by duncanlondon
I made out with a chinese woman for a while. She had a peculiar habit.
As she orgasmed she held her breath and various complicated things. The result was that she farted from both ears.
Not exactly very thrilling or desirable. Just really really silly.

rofl

:lol: :lol:
hahahaha
what a brilliant anecdote. really surreal. the dry philosophical delivery made me laugh out loud a lot :lol:

8 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
To a bloke a fanny fart gives him a sense of achievement! :twisted:

I should think it does Chooon :shock: How the ell are you gonna do a fanny fart?? :shock: confused

:? :?

OMG! ROTFLMAO

8 Sep 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
To a bloke a fanny fart gives him a sense of achievement! :twisted:

I should think it does Chooon :shock: How the ell are you gonna do a fanny fart?? :shock: confused

:? :?

OMG! ROTFLMAO
Oi, you two!!
Anyway - that's easy - by stretching me imagination as well! Jeez, did I just say that? bolt

8 Sep 2005

is there an audio clip section? I want to here all these impressive musical pussies lol

FF are much more acceptable than any creaking from the coal cellar! IMHO

9 Sep 2005

Quote by DoctorP
is there an audio clip section? I want to here all these impressive musical pussies

Stick some wellies on and walk on the spot in a bucket of mud to replicate it for yourself.

9 Sep 2005

Quote by davej
is there an audio clip section? I want to here all these impressive musical pussies

Stick some wellies on and walk on the spot in a bucket of mud to replicate it for yourself.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I see it wasn't a 'custard cream' night last night then Dave cool

My winter forest walks will never ever be quite the same again confused

9 Sep 2005

Fanny farts don't bother me. I usually pop one myself out of solidarity with the girl...
;)

9 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
is there an audio clip section? I want to here all these impressive musical pussies

Stick some wellies on and walk on the spot in a bucket of mud to replicate it for yourself.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I see it wasn't a 'custard cream' night last night then Dave cool

My winter forest walks will never ever be quite the same again confused

OOh misschief it was horrible, I'm a bit of an innocent and always believed that making love was done by firm toned bodies, encassed in crimson silk sheets, accompanied by a sepia light, some soft music and maybe them far away cricket type jungly sounds when the reality was more, slurping porridge thats a bit too hot, fumbling around flesh that never used to be there, whilst getting tangled in close fitting, bobbled, Matalan sheets, accompanied by foul language and wet bits.............conclusion..they lie in the movies