Female Flatulence

7 Sep 2005

There's nothing more annoying than when in the middle of a hot steamy session it happens.....
:silly: """WALLOP""" :silly:
Out comes the biggest...wettest...rip-roaring...penis-slapping... fanny fart ever. redface

ops: :oops:
You freeze...look for someone to blame but theres no denying it...it was YOU. :scared:
You go quiet and it throws you for a while before going "ooh...huh" looking down at your vagina with disgrace before pretending it never happened. innocent

If anyone has any advice on how to overcome this embarrasssing dilemma it would be greatly appreciated.....

7 Sep 2005

you just can't help it can you?
its not like a normal fart you can't feel it coming so you can't run out the room
i always find it happens after doggy so i try and avoid doggy at all costs

7 Sep 2005

LOL

Just laugh, fanny farts are funny and you can't really stop them once they start....certain positions make them more though :P
And lets face it, guys fart all the time and expect a round of applause! We should be congratulated for our fanny farts! :D

7 Sep 2005

Personally they never worry me, sex is noisy and messy... if you doing it right smile

7 Sep 2005

Have to say they have never bothered me all part and parcel smile

7 Sep 2005

Well don't do what I did and eat spinach and then do the unthinkable when my fella was giving me oral .. :shock:
Have never eaten the stuff ever again redface

ops: :oops:
Dev

7 Sep 2005

Just thought I would add that your avatar is really hypnotic wales_cple! biggrin

7 Sep 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
you just can't help it can you?
its not like a normal fart you can't feel it coming so you can't run out the room
i always find it happens after doggy so i try and avoid doggy at all costs

No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound... rolleyes

7 Sep 2005

Its even worse if you are shaving a lady and she lets a proper one go!!
Isnt it DD? :shock: :shock:

7 Sep 2005

Quote by sandboy
Its even worse if you are shaving a lady and she lets a proper one go!!
Isnt it DD? :shock: :shock:

Well what do you expect when you are sticking your finger in where you shouldn't .. just to check lol ... I don't grow hair on the inside rolleyes

SB cheeky checker lol
Dev

7 Sep 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Oh I love these answers :rotflmao:
I tend to start talking very loudly to try and drown it out confused

Doesn't matter if it's right in the throes of passion - I'll babble on like it's really really important that I know NOW whats happening on the 3rd Tuesday afternoon the month after next, between 2 and :undecided:
Can bet yer life that as soon as you pause for breath, as soon as you think it's safe to stop talking ........... out it pops :shock: :uhoh:

7 Sep 2005

yep been there done it, and if you try to laugh it off to cover your embarrassment u just end up making matters worse. redface

sierra x x

7 Sep 2005

To a bloke a fanny fart gives him a sense of achievement! :twisted:

7 Sep 2005

Just slip a pair of earmuffs on each other........
and Bob's your Uncle and Fanny's your Aunt.............
No noise to stop you from carrying on like two rampant rabbits in a field of rampantness biggrin

Dave_Notts

7 Sep 2005

Quote by westerross
To a bloke a fanny fart gives him a sense of achievement! :twisted:

I should think it does Chooon :shock: How the ell are you gonna do a fanny fart?? :shock: confused

:? :?

7 Sep 2005

I hate when their lips slap you round the face when they let one go!! :silly:

7 Sep 2005

Easy answer to stop embarrassment. Blame the dogs even if they are out of the room.
Just tell the person with you that they are training to be ventriloquists

7 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound...

Oh I have a plan for the multiples too :smile2: Occasionally I manage to stop one mid flow, but you can only postpone it ........ so I then get up, and head off to the bathroom to the tune of 'She'll be coming round the mountain' :karaoke:
Shit, just read that redface

I didn't mean I can fanny fart 'She'll be coming round the mountain' rotflmao

I meant to drown out the noise cos each step to the bathroom will produce one confused

Then by the time you get there there's none left :roll: ...........I've dug a hole haven't I? :undecided: surprised

ops: :oops: :oops:

7 Sep 2005

On a good day I can fanny fart "coom bye ahh" me lord :silly:

7 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound...

Oh I have a plan for the multiples too :smile2: Occasionally I manage to stop one mid flow, but you can only postpone it ........ so I then get up, and head off to the bathroom to the tune of 'She'll be coming round the mountain' :karaoke:
Shit, just read that redface

I didn't mean I can fanny fart 'She'll be coming round the mountain' rotflmao

I meant to drown out the noise cos each step to the bathroom will produce one confused

Then by the time you get there there's none left :roll: ...........I've dug a hole haven't I? :undecided: surprised

ops: :oops: :oops:
Yes lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Dave_Notts

7 Sep 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound...

Oh I have a plan for the multiples too :smile2: Occasionally I manage to stop one mid flow, but you can only postpone it ........ so I then get up, and head off to the bathroom to the tune of 'She'll be coming round the mountain' :karaoke:
fookin hell missy you got a whistling fanny...... a sort of Roger Whittaker thing going on down there :shock:

Shit, just read that I didn't mean I can fanny fart 'She'll be coming round the mountain'
I meant to drown out the noise cos each step to the bathroom will produce one Then by the time you get there there's none left :roll: ...........I've dug a hole haven't I? :undecided: ops: :oops: :oops:

yep! :happy:

7 Sep 2005

Quote by wales_cple
On a good day I can fanny fart "coom bye ahh" me lord :silly:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

7 Sep 2005

I remember the first fanny fart i heard/caused.
Was with my girlfreind and trying (for us) a new position. I would like to point out that this was during my early days when i was still exploring/experimenting. My girldfreind who was a little more experienced than myself said something along the the lines of ' I don't think this position is a such a good idea' followed shortly by 'oh no!' at which point a fart let loose.
Well, for one it tickled, secondly i found the whole think hilarious and burst out laughing, couldnt stop for at least 5 mins, luckily after a few moments she saw the funny side too, though was slightly embarrashed as well.
My view - it happens, dont be ashamed, tho probs best not to let loose during oral.

7 Sep 2005

No you cant help it and its worse when you do it in multiple... one with each pound...

Oh I have a plan for the multiples too :smile2: Occasionally I manage to stop one mid flow, but you can only postpone it ........ so I then get up, and head off to the bathroom to the tune of 'She'll be coming round the mountain' :karaoke:
fookin hell missy you got a whistling fanny...... a sort of Roger Whittaker thing going on down there :shock:
No, it doesn't whistle 'til u stick 2 fingers in it!! :P

7 Sep 2005

Quote by Tommi
No, it doesn't whistle 'til u stick 2 fingers in it!! :P

Oh good god confused

like they're not embarrassing enough!!! Sticking 2 fingers in will call not only all the neighbours, but their pets as well! :shock:
Misschief - and her wolf whistling fanny :uhoh:

7 Sep 2005

Must we discuss this, really!

7 Sep 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???

7 Sep 2005

Quote by Shadow_Walker
Must we discuss this, really!

Whats the problem?? It happens, we all know it happens, why pretend it doesnt???
because right now some of us are confused, I don't know if the noise I just heard is mrs davej warming up with her favourite toy and therefore I should join her, or if I should put some custard creams on a plate cos the kettle just boiled dunno

7 Sep 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

7 Sep 2005

be a gentleman dave and get the custard creams out