Hi all,
I would like to know, if like me, anyone in a stable relationship had any doubts 'after' a full swing for the first time. The better half and I had our first 'full swing' encounter last Friday and If i'm honest, momentarily after, I had a little tiny bit of doubt in my mind. This doubt quickly passed and we enjoyed talking about our encounter for the rest of the weekend, as well as being at each other like never before all weekend too!!!
I guess, for me it was maybe the initial shock of my beloved engaged in sexual activity with another guy. After the initial shock of seeing Susie, it quickly passed and i then began to feel aroused at the thought of it all. I'm very happy to say that we've talked this all through and that we are both extremely happy with the way things went and really look forward to our next encounter.
Anyone ever been to Radlett Parties? we're hopefully going on Saturday and just wondered if anyone had ever been.
Paul and Susie (Paul)
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first time apprehension?
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I think its only natural to feel a tiny doubt, especially the first time. Im sure I would in the same situation. Sounds like your both able to chat openly and honestly about it which I should imagine helps alot.
Im sure lots of good advice will be given.
In the meantime, have fun and happy swinging
xanaisx
Im sure lots of good advice will be given.
In the meantime, have fun and happy swinging
xanaisx
Sex God
Paul~
What a lovely, honest post! You definitely took the best course of action by talking about the experience afterwards, as maintaining an open channel of communication with each other is an ideal antidote to doubt.
During the first MMF threesome that Vix & I shared, it seemed as if she had concerns of her own - but these were on my behalf; that she was concerned about how I would react to seeing her with another man and how it might affect our relationship. These doubts were put to rest by talking during the experience. Sometimes, it was as simple as making eye contact and quietly asking, "Are you OK with this?" Of course, I quickly and enthusiastically agreed!
It also helped that we were friends with our male partner and that he, too, was respectful and communicative during as well. For example, as he was preparing to penetrate Vix, he stopped and asked both of us if it was alright. How sweet is that?! I'm sure it also helped that he turned out to be bi-, as we all got to share each other and Vix didn't have to bear the burden of feeling so "greedy". ;) :P
We talked about it afterwards as well, and the only genuine problem that we all had with it was that we'd had a bit too much to drink beforehand...and it could've been so much more fun if we hadn't.
~Reese!
P.S. BTW Paul, you need to change your signature line, as both of you now share the limelight in your excellent new avatar!
What a lovely, honest post! You definitely took the best course of action by talking about the experience afterwards, as maintaining an open channel of communication with each other is an ideal antidote to doubt.
During the first MMF threesome that Vix & I shared, it seemed as if she had concerns of her own - but these were on my behalf; that she was concerned about how I would react to seeing her with another man and how it might affect our relationship. These doubts were put to rest by talking during the experience. Sometimes, it was as simple as making eye contact and quietly asking, "Are you OK with this?" Of course, I quickly and enthusiastically agreed!
It also helped that we were friends with our male partner and that he, too, was respectful and communicative during as well. For example, as he was preparing to penetrate Vix, he stopped and asked both of us if it was alright. How sweet is that?! I'm sure it also helped that he turned out to be bi-, as we all got to share each other and Vix didn't have to bear the burden of feeling so "greedy". ;) :P
We talked about it afterwards as well, and the only genuine problem that we all had with it was that we'd had a bit too much to drink beforehand...and it could've been so much more fun if we hadn't.
~Reese!
P.S. BTW Paul, you need to change your signature line, as both of you now share the limelight in your excellent new avatar!
It's pretty reassuring to know that others have had similar experiences to myself. We didn't really expect things to go as far as they did, I guess the fact that we all had a fair bit to drink was probably the reason why it did go as far as it did.
thankyou everyone for your kind words.
And yes.... here's to some more fun encounters....
Paul and Susie(Paul)
thankyou everyone for your kind words.
And yes.... here's to some more fun encounters....
Paul and Susie(Paul)
Really interesting reading this as we are very close to taking the plunge...so to
speak ourselves. It was my wife who has brought up the Swinging subject
on many occations and the thoughts and desires from both of us just don't go away. we
are now getting to the point where we need to decide which way to progress. It's
all very exciting I hope it stays like this. It's funny I never thought I would love to
see my very sexy wife at it with someone else, Now I can't wait.
speak ourselves. It was my wife who has brought up the Swinging subject
on many occations and the thoughts and desires from both of us just don't go away. we
are now getting to the point where we need to decide which way to progress. It's
all very exciting I hope it stays like this. It's funny I never thought I would love to
see my very sexy wife at it with someone else, Now I can't wait.
Peterpiper,
I know exactly what you are saying. Susie is an incredibly sexy woman, i don't just say that because she's my partner, it's true. When we go out, to a pub, club adult party etc... it's Susie that gets most of the attention.
Initially, the thought of us 'swinging' was an incredible turn on. Then doubt crept into our minds,(susie feels the same about me with other women) But the thoughts that we had just wouldn't go away and so we decided to just go for it. Although Friday was our first full encounter, we have attended one party, and 'dogged' etc....
Seeing Susie with another bloke although initially a shock... was such an erotic experience and like i said, because of Friday night, our sexual desires reached boiling point all weekend... so.. its all good!!!!
Paul and Susie(Paul)
I know exactly what you are saying. Susie is an incredibly sexy woman, i don't just say that because she's my partner, it's true. When we go out, to a pub, club adult party etc... it's Susie that gets most of the attention.
Initially, the thought of us 'swinging' was an incredible turn on. Then doubt crept into our minds,(susie feels the same about me with other women) But the thoughts that we had just wouldn't go away and so we decided to just go for it. Although Friday was our first full encounter, we have attended one party, and 'dogged' etc....
Seeing Susie with another bloke although initially a shock... was such an erotic experience and like i said, because of Friday night, our sexual desires reached boiling point all weekend... so.. its all good!!!!
Paul and Susie(Paul)
Paul
yes it does sound very similar, We are both fit, attractive people and when she dreses
up it makes men's eye pop! I just wonder if we will ever find the right time or circumstance
to just go for it. Perhaps we need to take it very slowly, after all its a very sensitive thing
to do. Apart from myself I know Kate is like a dog on heat at the moment, and just the mere
mention of swinging has her soaking. I do wonder though if a the point of acting she would just deside it's not for her...we will just have to see.
yes it does sound very similar, We are both fit, attractive people and when she dreses
up it makes men's eye pop! I just wonder if we will ever find the right time or circumstance
to just go for it. Perhaps we need to take it very slowly, after all its a very sensitive thing
to do. Apart from myself I know Kate is like a dog on heat at the moment, and just the mere
mention of swinging has her soaking. I do wonder though if a the point of acting she would just deside it's not for her...we will just have to see.
Talk, Talk, and more talk is the best thing before you leap in, imho. Before and after...Just to make sure the other person is fine with everything. I was worried what wife was thinking with what went on, and checked to make sure she was cool with what he was doing, and also what i was doin. It is our marrige we could be playing with here, but as the last few enconters have gone on, ive felt better knowing the wife is ok. Shes been fine with it from the start, just me and my doubting head!! But surly talking is part of any solid partnership....
I find jealousy a strange beast, after 20 years of being togther, we still have pangs of it, but under swinging times, hasnt been a problem.
Lifes strange isnt it :twisted:
Berto
I find jealousy a strange beast, after 20 years of being togther, we still have pangs of it, but under swinging times, hasnt been a problem.
Lifes strange isnt it :twisted:
Berto
Sexpert
Regarding Dlebertos reply..." I find jealousy a strange beast, after 20 years of being together, we still have pangs of it, but under swinging times , hasnt been a problem"
Weird, that really hit the nail on the head for us. Mid 30`s, together 18 years, both occasionally confess to slight pangs of jealousy which have happened during purely social circumstances.....yet playing with another couple....nothing at all!!! Just pure erotism.
Weird, that really hit the nail on the head for us. Mid 30`s, together 18 years, both occasionally confess to slight pangs of jealousy which have happened during purely social circumstances.....yet playing with another couple....nothing at all!!! Just pure erotism.
The jealousy in normal life is always there... not to the extent that it becomes a major problem....I know I get a twinge of jealousy if we're out in a purely social occasion, Susie does to and we both tend to make it very clear, a really teenage way that we are together.
But in the swinging scene, i find myself really wanting to show Susie off cos she's beautiful... no jealousy at all... unless it's a crowd of leering blokes(as happened at first party we went to) then i get very protective.....
Paul and Susie (Paul)
But in the swinging scene, i find myself really wanting to show Susie off cos she's beautiful... no jealousy at all... unless it's a crowd of leering blokes(as happened at first party we went to) then i get very protective.....
Paul and Susie (Paul)
Hi everyone,
Thought I would have my say! Am really enjoying getting into this whole "swinging" thing. When we first started talking about it I didn't imagine we would actually ever participate in a full swap, but as others have so cleverly pointed out, once the pangs of jealousy fade, there is nothing other than pure erotisism involved. For me, it's the thought of really turning Paul on that drives me wild because of how I feel about him. I don't really think others outside of the scene can appreciate the concept - I certainly couldn't. The overwhelming feeling I've had regarding all this so far is that the majority of people we've met and spoken to are probably the nicest, most honest and genuine couples anyone is ever likely to meet, and I do feel priviledged to be a part of this, hopefully for a long time to come. Am looking forward to many more sexy experiences with my gorgeous partner. Thanks to everyone who has taken the trouble to post a reply.
Paul and Susie (Susie) x
Thought I would have my say! Am really enjoying getting into this whole "swinging" thing. When we first started talking about it I didn't imagine we would actually ever participate in a full swap, but as others have so cleverly pointed out, once the pangs of jealousy fade, there is nothing other than pure erotisism involved. For me, it's the thought of really turning Paul on that drives me wild because of how I feel about him. I don't really think others outside of the scene can appreciate the concept - I certainly couldn't. The overwhelming feeling I've had regarding all this so far is that the majority of people we've met and spoken to are probably the nicest, most honest and genuine couples anyone is ever likely to meet, and I do feel priviledged to be a part of this, hopefully for a long time to come. Am looking forward to many more sexy experiences with my gorgeous partner. Thanks to everyone who has taken the trouble to post a reply.
Paul and Susie (Susie) x
I felt a MASSIVE load of doubt. I couldnt cope with seeing Daz with another woman - it was horrible. Dont get me wrong, i LOVE swinging, and i love the fact that Daz and i are in a secure enough relationship to take part in it, but i just couldnt go with the whole "It's just sex" thing - to me, it's making love. its an emotional thing and i couldnt get over that barrier. That was with another couple, and it was a bit of a flop, because i couldnt snog the other guy - again, its "swapping of bodily fluids" as it were, and i cant bear the thought of having anyone elses tongue in my mouth apart from Daz - its what WE do as foreplay - so to me, its personal.
BUT - If daz and i were in a mff situation, i think i'd be a lot more confident with letting him be with the other woman - i dont know why, maybe it's because i'm bi, but the thought of pleasuring daz WITH another woman has a lot more appeal than watching him get pleasure from someone other than me.
However, and back to the snogging thing - getting up close and personal with another woman is no object - is that hypocritical?
In his credit, Daz has been WONDERFUL throughout our swinging experiences, he would be perfectly happy for full swap with all the trimmings, but because he's never had a girlfriend prepared to try swinging with him before, he's allowed me to find out what i'm comfortable with in my own way. AND, he's agreed with it and let me have my head, and i adore him for it.
Sorry for the long post - but this is something Daz and i have talked about for HOURS on end, and as long as other people are being honest about it - then we're prepared to be too.
BUT - If daz and i were in a mff situation, i think i'd be a lot more confident with letting him be with the other woman - i dont know why, maybe it's because i'm bi, but the thought of pleasuring daz WITH another woman has a lot more appeal than watching him get pleasure from someone other than me.
However, and back to the snogging thing - getting up close and personal with another woman is no object - is that hypocritical?
In his credit, Daz has been WONDERFUL throughout our swinging experiences, he would be perfectly happy for full swap with all the trimmings, but because he's never had a girlfriend prepared to try swinging with him before, he's allowed me to find out what i'm comfortable with in my own way. AND, he's agreed with it and let me have my head, and i adore him for it.
Sorry for the long post - but this is something Daz and i have talked about for HOURS on end, and as long as other people are being honest about it - then we're prepared to be too.
We seemed to have touched a few people with this post. As most have said, honesty and integrity in ones relationship seems to be the key to a happy and successful relationship within this community.
I'm really very happy with the response this post has provoked, it means so much to us know that other couples, with similar experiences re: jealousy, guilt etc... have been through this before.
Paul and Susie (Paul)
I'm really very happy with the response this post has provoked, it means so much to us know that other couples, with similar experiences re: jealousy, guilt etc... have been through this before.
Paul and Susie (Paul)
Quote by dazandlou
and it was a bit of a flop, because i couldnt snog the other guy - again, its "swapping of bodily fluids" as it were, and i cant bear the thought of having anyone elses tongue in my mouth apart from Daz - its what WE do as foreplay - so to me, its personal.
Is the kissing/snogging thing part of swinging then?...I know it takes alsorts and what ever floats ya boat, but not sure if id be happpy with the snogging thing.....come to think about it i didnt snog the other lady, but wife did, and that was a turn on all on its own. I wouldt worry if yer not happy with snogging, lay it down as a rule before starting, mind u, i didnt snog him
...stange thing us men folk,i ike women kissing, wonder if the females like blokes snogging... :twisted: :lol: Answers on a postcard too....Berto
Sexpert
We have never gone for the full swap thing, nor the snogging bit which leaves us underqualified to comment on the jealousy aspect really. One thing is for sure, we do feel that full on snogging (m/f)crosses a boundary which creates a whole new ball (!) game to us. We see another couple as a play thing, a toy if thats not too disrespectful(its not meant to be) and do not see or feel any need to raise the profile any more than that. I guess that there will be one or two about to point out the parodox of approving oral sex but not full on snoggy type kissing. It is always a contencious issue which has almost certainly been covered previously?
We have one hard and fast rule.......
NO KISSING OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. Now i'm not into guys, so it doesn't really concern me, i'd never dream of snogging, kissing another woman either.
to us, strange as it may sound, Kissing is a more intimate act than sex with anyone else. As far as we're concerned, kissing is 'our thing'. It's just one of the many ways we show our love for each other. I'd be mortified if Susie was kissing another bloke.... but, strangely, or selfishly more like, extremely turned on by her kissing a woman.
Paul and Susie (Paul)x
NO KISSING OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. Now i'm not into guys, so it doesn't really concern me, i'd never dream of snogging, kissing another woman either.
to us, strange as it may sound, Kissing is a more intimate act than sex with anyone else. As far as we're concerned, kissing is 'our thing'. It's just one of the many ways we show our love for each other. I'd be mortified if Susie was kissing another bloke.... but, strangely, or selfishly more like, extremely turned on by her kissing a woman.
Paul and Susie (Paul)x
Sex God
Quote by foxy30s_cpl
I guess that there will be one or two about to point out the parodox of approving oral sex but not full on snoggy type kissing. It is always a contencious issue which has almost certainly been covered previously?
Thanks for bringing up this paradox, because it's something I've wondered about for a very long time. Nearly everyone I've ever spoken to about it contended that kissing was far more personal than having someone else's genitals in your mouth...but I just don't get it! I've even heard that prostitutes who willingly administer oral sex draw the line at snogging. Is this a cultural thing? Instinctual? Would love to get to the bottom of this one. Vix has done her best to explain her perspective on this to me, but I have to admit that I still don't fully understand.
Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I see kissing as a natural part of physical intimacy in sharing your body with that of another human being (is the word "intimacy" a problem here?). As for oral sex, I see that as being a few steps higher on the intimacy ladder.
We were headed to a friend's overnight, outdoor birthday party the other weekend, and Vix asked me if I was OK with her possibly snogging if she went out on the pull for someone to take back to our tent. Of course I was! It seems like a perfectly natural progression to me: Start out flirting, get close, then perhaps a playful touch and a snog...long before you even consider taking that person to bed! Or is this particular mating ritual reserved solely for 1-on-1 couples?!
~Reese!
