Food Issues

11 May 2008

Reading the posts about what foods people cant resist got me thinking about other food related issues....
I've always been very conscious of my weight since I was a child and have had and still have issues with food and diet because of it. As a teenager I was a size 8-10 and am now a size 14 but have always considered myself overweight.
I dont know if thats the reason why I notice so much when people comment about food but it always really winds me up.
For example, comments such as 'are you eating again?' at work, when in fact its midday and only the second thing I've eaten or so called friends physically taking food away from me because they dont think I should be eating it.
Am I just being over sensitive? Are people really trying to help me? I cant help but think that its comments like these that got me so obsessed with weight and diet in the first place.
Does anyone else have food issues?
Mrs Classy
dunno

11 May 2008

Size 14 is NOT overweight. You really do have issues and no matter what anyone says it wont change your way of thinking.
And yes, I have issues too. Nothing anyone can say to me can make me feel any different about how I feel.
I have been different sizes at different stages in my life but predominantly, overweight all of my life. Its ok people saying do something about it if it makes you feel bad but its not that simple, I wish it was. People really need to keep insensitive comments to themselves.
Its not just down to 'food issues' its down to alot of things, mainly my health. My 'weight probs' are the bain of my life.
I really can empathise with anyone who feels like they have probs with food or their weight.
If you are really unhappy and feel you cant handle things then its time to seek professional help
Good luck

12 May 2008

I agree with Hel... a size 14 is lovely, sexy and absolutely not overweight!, but it's a matter of how you feel and if you feel uncomfortable then perhaps exercise would be better than diet?
If you're like me and you're a snacker and people are commenting maybe change what you snack on? I eat 5 small meals a day, my snacks are normally nuts but not loads and I'm losing weight at a nice steady pace.
At the end of the day it's none of their business so tell them to butt out or you'll shove their faces in your salad bowl! cool

12 May 2008

Oooh I'd LOVE to be a size 14! To me, that is 'the' perfect size.
However, I also know that if you have food / size / self image issues then no matter how many times people say we look fine, we don't FEEL fine. The resolution to that particular stumbling block lies in our own heads.
I'm on yet another diet (my very existance pivots around the famine / feast syndrome) so I guess the answer to your original question is yes, I also have food issues that stem back to when I was 16 and, at 9st, was made to feel fat and unattractive. From there, I've dieted my way up to where I am now.
%$&*!!!!!

12 May 2008

Quote by Classysxycpl
snip For example, comments such as 'are you eating again?' at work, when in fact its midday and only the second thing I've eaten or so called friends physically taking food away from me because they dont think I should be eating it.
Am I just being over sensitive?

:shock: the cheeky feckers! OMG, I'd be gutted if someone did this to me!
But - have you ever said to them, "listen guys, i'm trying to lose weight, so if you see me doing something I shouldn't, please tell me" ?
If so, they probably think they are trying to help.
But I think it sounds like your weight/size issue has very little to do with what and how much food to eat.
It sounds like you have self esteem issues, and I really think you would benefit from seeing a counsellor.
Good luck kiss

12 May 2008

I don't think I'd want people areound me telling if I'm 'eating something wrong' ... it would be a living hell to be surrounded by the diet cops.
If anything it'd undermine my confidence even more - like I can't even be trusted to make my own decisions on what goes into my mouth (ooo err missus!)
My diet is between me and my willpower - it's fek all to do with anyone else.

12 May 2008

Quote by Sugar-n-pom
I don't think I'd want people areound me telling if I'm 'eating something wrong' ... it would be a living hell to be surrounded by the diet cops.
If anything it'd undermine my confidence even more - like I can't even be trusted to make my own decisions on what goes into my mouth (ooo err missus!)
My diet is between me and my willpower - it's fek all to do with anyone else.

:thumbup:
Well said!

12 May 2008

Quote by helnheaven
I don't think I'd want people areound me telling if I'm 'eating something wrong' ... it would be a living hell to be surrounded by the diet cops.
If anything it'd undermine my confidence even more - like I can't even be trusted to make my own decisions on what goes into my mouth (ooo err missus!)
My diet is between me and my willpower - it's fek all to do with anyone else.

:thumbup:
Well said!
Not sure if these posts were prompted by mine, but just in case - I wasn't advocating asking anyone to monitor food intake, I was asking the OP if that's what she had done, which would account for her colleagues' behaviour.

12 May 2008

Quote by Cherrytree
Not sure if these posts were prompted by mine, but just in case - I wasn't advocating asking anyone to monitor food intake, I was asking the OP if that's what she had done, which would account for her colleagues' behaviour.

Mine wasnt, I understood you. I was agreeing with Sugar-n-pom in that, people, especially insensitive ones need not be around with their 'well meaning' remarks they dont serve any purpose.
To be honest,I think Classysxycpl is a very brave lady posting, I wouldnt do it, someone might tell me what I dont want to hear and make matters 100 times worse confused

12 May 2008

Unsolicited comments are never helpful IMO. In fact, they only undermine and make things worse ... nothing more irritating than the 'should you be eating that?' brigade who only serve to make you feel like a class A criminal for having eaten a packet of crisps. Why should anyone have to justify what they eat? If they're breaking the diet then their comments won't help (in fact they're more likely to cause someone to hit the bisuit tin in depressed defiance) and if it's something that is cal counted and 'permitted' on the diet then it still renders the original comment useless. All it does is draw attention to the very thing that causes someone with food issues huge stress - eating.
I'd love to be able to just 'eat' and not be obsessed with the whole thing; what I 'can' have, what I 'shouldn't' have and when I can (or can't) have it. Alas I can't see a time when it isn't a central (and defining) area of my life.
Is there a shrink in the house?? rolleyes

12 May 2008

im a snacker and what/how much /how often depends alot on the time of month, ive given up on clothes sizes i buy what fits not because its size so and so, looking at lables tho i have some things at size 12 and somethings at size 20 and all the sizes in between.
Alot of it depends on the style and make, wasnt it said that a size 16 was the national average somewhere,
i agree with aunty cherry though alot of it a self confidence/esteem thing

12 May 2008

although i would also say size 14 isnt overweight at the end of the day its how YOU feel not everyone else around you.
i am between 24/26 at the moment and now need to lose weight as i have been told i have the early stages of osteoarthritis. this wont be easy as i have gotten into really bad eating and drinking habits since i split with my husband 6 yrs ago.
this basically stemmed from my ex being weight obsessed, to the point of weighing himself 4 - 5 times a day, before and after exercise, same with before and after going to the toilet, if he put 2 lb on he would not eat til it came off. The knock on effect of this is he watched everything i ate, commented on what i was eating, how often i ate, how much if anything i drank.
i started eating in secret so i didnt have to put up with all the comments etc from him. i used to eat in the car and make my mam take the food wrappers home it was that bad.
my size at the moment is still part of a result of this, when he left he asked if i was scared i would never find anyone else cos i was so fat, but him leaving was like giving me free reign to eat and drink as i want, and boy i did, now its hard to stop, i know i drink too much, my diet is pretty ok i just eat at the wrong times or dont eat at all.
my self esteem was knocked so much by him i still sometimes find it hard that someone would want to shag me more because of i know how he felt about me and how he made me feel, he never took me out, i never met any of his 'golf club' friends and to me that was because he was ashamed.
so my food issues stem from this, but because i know where they come from, i can deal with them,
i would suggest try thinking back, you said you have always been conscious of your weight, but something has triggered that in you as you arent born weight conscious.
finding out what this is may help you.
oh and tell your friends to feck off you know they re trying to help but you are an adult,
Earthy xxx

12 May 2008

Wow! Thanks everyone for such lovely, helpful comments! biggrin

Just to come back to a couple of points that have been made...
I've never asked anybody to help me control what I eat except my husband who does a grand job and puts up with all my issues. I agree that having other people monitor my food makes me feel that I cannot be trusted to make my own decisions!! I am more than aware of every calorie I consume without anyone else telling me.
I'm not really sure why people seem to comment as I dont really discuss my issues with anyone but my husband. I thought perhaps it was because I have these issues that I'm just more sensitive to what might be normal, acceptable comments?? Or perhaps they were trying to subtly make me aware that in their opinion I'm overweight?? dunno

Mrs Classy

12 May 2008

Quote by Classysxycpl
Wow! Thanks everyone for such lovely, helpful comments!
I'm not really sure why people seem to comment as I dont really discuss my issues with anyone but my husband. I thought perhaps it was because I have these issues that I'm just more sensitive to what might be normal, acceptable comments?? Or perhaps they were trying to subtly make me aware that in their opinion I'm overweight??
Mrs Classy

i had a party here for my birthday on saturday night, now my mother is by no means overweight but as she went to get something to eat, someone said to her 'oh what you nicking now' she never ate anything else all night.
i think people just say things without thinking and you may be just a little sensitive to it
my mam has watched her weight since she was carrying me when she got osteoarthritis, so she is probably sensitive to it too.
i dont think the person meant anything by it was just passing a comment

12 May 2008

Quote by Classysxycpl
I'm not really sure why people seem to comment as I dont really discuss my issues with anyone but my husband. I thought perhaps it was because I have these issues that I'm just more sensitive to what might be normal, acceptable comments?? Or perhaps they were trying to subtly make me aware that in their opinion I'm overweight??
Mrs Classy

I have to say this is proving to be a very thought provoking thread.
Mrs Classy, I used to work with a girl who was thin. Naturally thin. Ate for England, still thin. People were always commenting on her weight/eating habits. Me, at the next desk, defo not thin. Need to lose shedloads of weight. If the two of us were eating cakes or biscuits with our tea, she would take the flack, not me. It was almost as though because she was thin, that gave people the licence to comment on her eating. It got her down, it annoyed her.
My point? People comment. All the time, about all sorts of stuff, to all sorts of people. Maybe it is because they think you can handle the comments, maybe it is just flippant off the cuff remarks and they don't realise you are taking them to heart, maybe they need to lose weight and are projecting their own insecurities on to you... :dunno:
Basically, you have to want to lose weight for you. For the right reasons. And honestly, size 14 is a damn sexy size (I was HOT when I was a size 14.... I was young too, but hey! wink

) Work on your confidence and esteem, that's what's important.
Sod the rest of 'em at work.... if all else fails, get some of those little earplug thingies!!
:therethere: Nola xxx

12 May 2008

i think some people should just learn to keep their mouth shut, i have been overweight most of my life a size 22/24 and really get pissed off when people i hardly know commenting on my weight without knowing anything about me or my life. i have become so thick skinned now and just ask them a personal question back and watch the shock horror of their expression (much to my amusement) when they fluster to try and tell me its none of my business. you are what you are whether its big small or somewhere in between. the only thing i can give as advice is you have to love yourself to love your body size and unless medical reasons say to change or you really want to, don't diet or it will fail. it took me long enough to realise this but now am so happy i have.
:love: :love:
p.s. and so is my hubby cos i made his life hell with all my silly diets banghead

:love:

12 May 2008

Quote by Classysxycpl
Wow! Thanks everyone for such lovely, helpful comments!
Just to come back to a couple of points that have been made...
I've never asked anybody to help me control what I eat except my husband who does a grand job and puts up with all my issues. I agree that having other people monitor my food makes me feel that I cannot be trusted to make my own decisions!! I am more than aware of every calorie I consume without anyone else telling me.
I'm not really sure why people seem to comment as I dont really discuss my issues with anyone but my husband. I thought perhaps it was because I have these issues that I'm just more sensitive to what might be normal, acceptable comments?? Or perhaps they were trying to subtly make me aware that in their opinion I'm overweight??
Mrs Classy

Next time they try it, tell them to f*** off. They are NOT your nanny, and you are certainly NOT subservient to them. You could be polite about it (not sure I would though), and make a joke of it - but, please, don't let them affect what you do. Your hubby sounds like a sound guy who will help you all the way.
When I was trying to lose weight the most effective comments were NEVER about what I should do or how fat I was; they were the compliments. After a nice comment I would be head-high and positive and able to carry on for longer.
Just wish I could get that same determination now. I'm size 18 which is meaningless, but I AM uncomfortable in clothes and some don't fit at the moment.
Just remember you are a person first and last - and a size never.