We're a couple who are not necessarily new to Sh, but are relatively new to the Forum. We've been reading the posts for some time and eventually decided to join because of the prevalent 'grown up' approach that was generally adopted throughout the site. Over the last week or so however, we have been wondering if this is really the right place to be.
There have been a number of threads that have been 'hijacked'. Not in a humorous way, as was the case when we first started viewing the site, but in a more malicious, self fulfilling and even bullying manner.
Just this evening, we read through a thread in which one poster was villified and bullied by another. It came down to something as personal as to the standard of English language used. It seemed a tad unecessary and perhaps a Moderator should have stepped in sooner to put an end to what were, at times, bitter attacks from one member aimed at another (Mod workload appreciated).
Since viewing the posts, we have consistently heard that this is an open forum, where all opinions should, and indeed must, be heard. It seems now though, that the forum has become a place for only some views to be heard, while others can be ridiculed by a select few. This is not to say that we believe that the forum should be a place for fawning, simply that everybody's view is valid.
Finally, it should be said that SH claims to be a 'club', 'society' and or 'family'. I hope that no members of this 'family' have divorced themselves from it because of the trite baiting that has occurred recently. We look forward to going back to the open, friendly, honest and humorous SH that attracted us in the first place.
Here's hoping that we don't get banned for this.
Love to all xxx
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Forgive if we speak out of turn, but,,
Can't see anyone banning you sweet n sour... The cafe goes in waves, we had period of locking and people complained so a hands off approach came along and now things seem to be swinging the other way...
I must say there is far too much attacking going on by a few people (no I am not naming anyone or getting into any debates on specifics). I just had the feeling that recently some people are looking for the fight, rather than looking to avoid it. I am all for debate but there seems to be more to this than putting a point of view.
Lets hope people will see a way through this without leaving it all to our poor mods who have enough on their plates anyway.
EDIT: That supposed to be supportive of your points SweetnSour which I agree with BTW, not accusing you of attacking anyone
Thought it could be misread that way when re-reading it.. long day...
I must say there is far too much attacking going on by a few people (no I am not naming anyone or getting into any debates on specifics). I just had the feeling that recently some people are looking for the fight, rather than looking to avoid it. I am all for debate but there seems to be more to this than putting a point of view.
Lets hope people will see a way through this without leaving it all to our poor mods who have enough on their plates anyway.
EDIT: That supposed to be supportive of your points SweetnSour which I agree with BTW, not accusing you of attacking anyone
Thought it could be misread that way when re-reading it.. long day... 
Sex God
Hi sweet and sour, the mods here do a difficult job as well as anyone can. A while ago there was a phase when threads were locked a fair bit. We then got the "I believe in free speech" brigade chiming in to complain about too many locked threads, so the mods seemed to relent a bit. This forum is not perfect but it's still one of the best ones of its type around. Please stay and contribute when you can - as TnH says, it seems to go in waves in here.
Mike.
Mike.
Hi SweetnSour,
Welcome and the mood here of late has been slightly odd but as much as there are falling out's on the forum there are lots of great things too ... there have been a number of events where money has been raised for charity, others offering their practical services to members in need (davenotts needed some decorating help, eagerslut needed beer one night etc, sarah1448 took someone to a hospital appointment and has offered her friendship to many a needy person. We have a child with cancer and when we found out we were overwhlemd with offers of support and love).
A lot of the goodness here on SH happens quietly and behind the scenes and the silliness sticks on the forum.
don't let a few daft comments put you off .... it really is a great place to make good friendships
Calista xx
Welcome and the mood here of late has been slightly odd but as much as there are falling out's on the forum there are lots of great things too ... there have been a number of events where money has been raised for charity, others offering their practical services to members in need (davenotts needed some decorating help, eagerslut needed beer one night etc, sarah1448 took someone to a hospital appointment and has offered her friendship to many a needy person. We have a child with cancer and when we found out we were overwhlemd with offers of support and love).
A lot of the goodness here on SH happens quietly and behind the scenes and the silliness sticks on the forum.
don't let a few daft comments put you off .... it really is a great place to make good friendships
Calista xx
Quote by SweetandSour
There have been a number of threads that have been 'hijacked'. Not in a humorous way, as was the case when we first started viewing the site, but in a more malicious, self fulfilling and even bullying manner.
No shit. I'll tell it as it is.
There are members here whose sole purpose of being on the site seems to be to dissect other people's posts with their 'critical analysis' inorder to make the poster look foolish, and themselves look superior.
It's just a shame they are not superior enough to get a life without having to revert to this childish behaviour.
It's pitiful.
Venusxxx
And you haven't woken up to toast and our very own SH reknowned spread, so you really shouldn't go just yet 
Welcome to the forum. Hope you stick around a little bit longer for the the really good bits, like Calista already mentioned
And I hijack your thread to say cheers to my SH mates who are now RL mates, thanks for all your support during those really very dark days. I love you all 
Welcome to the forum. Hope you stick around a little bit longer for the the really good bits, like Calista already mentioned
And I hijack your thread to say cheers to my SH mates who are now RL mates, thanks for all your support during those really very dark days. I love you all Quote by Libra+Love
And you haven't woken up to toast and our very own SH reknowned spread, so you really shouldn't go just yet
Welcome to the forum. Hope you stick around a little bit longer for the the really good bits, like Calista already mentioned
Um yeah, sorry, I should have mentioned there are plenty of good guys here too.
Venusxxx
Sex God
I'm hoping this just dies.......please ?
nope! :evil2:
dear mr and mrs sweet and sour,
much as i sympathise with your position on this matter, and would go so far as to wholeheartedly endorse your post, i feel it is my duty to point out that this is an open forum, and consequently every single member has the inalienable right to air their dirty laundry in public, plaster their personal fall outs all over the forum, wind up members who they know will bite, engage in thinly veiled digs and general negative comment, and otherwise troll and flame the place to death.
i've taken the liberty of posting this handy guide to general flame war netiquette, in the hope that you will feel better equipped to deal with the next outbreak of bitching, cat fights, and cyber insults.
Quote by Someone at
How To Participate In An Internet Flame War
1 Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.
2 Call your opponent a Nazi.
3 Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.
4 Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.
5 a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here.)
6: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".
7 Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)
8 Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".
9 Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.
10 Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.
hope this helps? ;)
neil x x x :P
p.s. on the whole it ain't such a bad place, and i wouldn't let the, shall we say, less restrained, put you off!
Quote by Libra+Love
And you haven't woken up to toast and our very own SH reknowned spread, so you really shouldn't go just yet
Welcome to the forum. Hope you stick around a little bit longer for the the really good bits, like Calista already mentioned
no no thank you!!! :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :love: :rose:
You are absolutely right. I'm not new but stay in the background a lot because of the things you have identified. I agree - people post something I think is quite fair and genuine and before I can reply (because I am not on here day and night) they have been shot down by people who - to me - don't seem to have anything better to offer.
Don't leave. Despite this it can be the most supportive, wise and funny community. I'm not leaving.
Jezzay.
Don't leave. Despite this it can be the most supportive, wise and funny community. I'm not leaving.
Jezzay.
Quote by neilinleeds
I'm hoping this just dies.......please ?
nope! :evil2:
dear mr and mrs sweet and sour,
much as i sympathise with your position on this matter, and would go so far as to wholeheartedly endorse your post, i feel it is my duty to point out that this is an open forum, and consequently every single member has the inalienable right to air their dirty laundry in public, plaster their personal fall outs all over the forum, wind up members who they know will bite, engage in thinly veiled digs and general negative comment, and otherwise troll and flame the place to death.
i've taken the liberty of posting this handy guide to general flame war netiquette, in the hope that you will feel better equipped to deal with the next outbreak of bitching, cat fights, and cyber insults.
Quote by Someone at
How To Participate In An Internet Flame War
1 Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.
2 Call your opponent a Nazi.
3 Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.
4 Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.
5 a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here.)
6: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".
7 Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)
8 Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".
9 Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.
10 Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.
hope this helps? ;)
neil x x x :P
p.s. on the whole it ain't such a bad place, and i wouldn't let the, shall we say, less restrained, put you off!
giz a kiss neil
Quick comment... What is going on MoMF? End of day you were not even in my mind when I wrote my post, and now you are hijacking a thread with comments which seem targeted at only Venus (since you quoted her). End of the day this is a post about what the rest of us have seen and how we feel.
Since this and venus's post did not name you why the beef?
Since this and venus's post did not name you why the beef?
Quote by tallnhairy
Quick comment... What is going on MoMF? End of day you were not even in my mind when I wrote my post, and now you are hijacking a thread with comments which seem targeted at only Venus (since you quoted her). End of the day this is a post about what the rest of us have seen and how we feel.
Since this and venus's post did not name you why the beef?
tall and hairy dreamer helen is now now pm victim thanks all the same for advertising my name
ops: Quote by Sgt Bilko
There are members here whose sole purpose of being on the site seems to be to dissect other people's posts with their 'critical analysis' inorder to make the poster look foolish, and themselves look superior.
:smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:
Sorry Serge - you are saying what exactly? Or are you - like so many - not taking what these guys are saying seriously? Don't you think perhaps we ought? I certainly dislike and am embarrassed by the way some people have been treated here recently.
Jezzay.
Sex God
Quote by jezzay
There are members here whose sole purpose of being on the site seems to be to dissect other people's posts with their 'critical analysis' inorder to make the poster look foolish, and themselves look superior.
:smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:
Sorry Serge - you are saying what exactly? Or are you - like so many - not taking what these guys are saying seriously? Don't you think perhaps we ought? I certainly dislike and am embarrassed by the way some people have been treated here recently.
Jezzay.
Erm, Jezzay, I think the Sarge was just taking the piss out of Venus?
Sorry Venus, I don't mean 'just' to be derogatory or anything.
Sex God
Now here is a little thing that I do when I look in and see it going a bit tits up....Now I want you to try this....go on ....ahh c'mon it's worth it trust me...
O.K. hold up your hand in front of you, palm facing you.
Now start to count off the names of those you honestly see as doing nothing other than being agitators (I'm willing to bet that it's not more than 5 anyways)
Right back to where we were
Is your hand held up with the palm facing you?....good
Now start with the first name and just bend your thumb slightly in and count.... 1
Now as you think of name two bring the tip of your index finger down to meet the tip of your thumb and count.....2
As name three comes to mind bring your middle finger down and lay it alongside your index finger and count ....3
O.K. we are doing fine...so is there anymore?...yes I thought so, lets bring our ring finger down and lay that alongside the middle finger, that is laying alongside the index finger, that is lightly touching the thumb, tip to tip, and count......4
I doubt that there is a five, but if there is then lower your little finger and lay it alongside the others and count.....5
Now here's the best bit. .....NO!!...NO!!!!...FFS! :doh: don't lose that hand shape you've just created you need it.
Is it still there?...good
now with your hand in it's counting position shake it gently from side to side at the screen .....thats it you can even curl your lips a little bit....go on no one will see you.
Now what you should have achieved after all of that, is a realisation that it really is only a handfull of folk, any other thought or gestures that comes from this excercise is purely coincidental.
O.K. hold up your hand in front of you, palm facing you.
Now start to count off the names of those you honestly see as doing nothing other than being agitators (I'm willing to bet that it's not more than 5 anyways)
Right back to where we were
Is your hand held up with the palm facing you?....good
Now start with the first name and just bend your thumb slightly in and count.... 1
Now as you think of name two bring the tip of your index finger down to meet the tip of your thumb and count.....2
As name three comes to mind bring your middle finger down and lay it alongside your index finger and count ....3
O.K. we are doing fine...so is there anymore?...yes I thought so, lets bring our ring finger down and lay that alongside the middle finger, that is laying alongside the index finger, that is lightly touching the thumb, tip to tip, and count......4
I doubt that there is a five, but if there is then lower your little finger and lay it alongside the others and count.....5
Now here's the best bit. .....NO!!...NO!!!!...FFS! :doh: don't lose that hand shape you've just created you need it.
Is it still there?...good
now with your hand in it's counting position shake it gently from side to side at the screen .....thats it you can even curl your lips a little bit....go on no one will see you.
Now what you should have achieved after all of that, is a realisation that it really is only a handfull of folk, any other thought or gestures that comes from this excercise is purely coincidental.
Hi Sweet and Sour.
Welcome to the place I like to call the asylum.
Sit down, relax, kick off your shoes and enjoy the good. There really is plenty of it.
To some of you -Piss off to here, would you. It was started for YOU
Welcome to the place I like to call the asylum.
Sit down, relax, kick off your shoes and enjoy the good. There really is plenty of it.
To some of you -Piss off to here, would you. It was started for YOU
Quote by davej
Now here is a little thing that I do when I look in and see it going a bit tits up....Now I want you to try this....go on ....ahh c'mon it's worth it trust me...
O.K. hold up your hand in front of you, palm facing you.
Now start to count off the names of those you honestly see as doing nothing other than being agitators (I'm willing to bet that it's not more than 5 anyways)
Right back to where we were
Is your hand held up with the palm facing you?....good
Now start with the first name and just bend your thumb slightly in and count.... 1
Now as you think of name two bring the tip of your index finger down to meet the tip of your thumb and count.....2
As name three comes to mind bring your middle finger down and lay it alongside your index finger and count ....3
O.K. we are doing fine...so is there anymore?...yes I thought so, lets bring our ring finger down and lay that alongside the middle finger, that is laying alongside the index finger, that is lightly touching the thumb, tip to tip, and count......4
I doubt that there is a five, but if there is then lower your little finger and lay it alongside the others and count.....5
Now here's the best bit. .....NO!!...NO!!!!...FFS! :doh: don't lose that hand shape you've just created you need it.
Is it still there?...good
now with your hand in it's counting position shake it gently from side to side at the screen .....thats it you can even curl your lips a little bit....go on no one will see you.
Now what you should have achieved after all of that, is a realisation that it really is only a handfull of folk, any other thought or gestures that comes from this excercise is purely coincidental.
and there was me thinking mine was the most meaningful post ...Calista xx
:shock: 
Oi you lot
oke:
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/45833.html
just the place methinks
Oi you lot
oke: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/45833.html
just the place methinks
