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Friend or thief?

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I had a 20 quid note in my bag. At lunchtime it had gone missing. I was working with a guy I had known for a few weeks. He offered to give me 10 quid to make me feel better.
Now did he steal the 20? Then got guilty and made it up to cover himself, so that at least he would make himself another tenner?
Or was he genuinely being a mate?
Because it seems like a very clever scam. You make some money and increase a friendship as well. What do you think?
Well not being there myself i prolly shoul not comment... BUT it all seem's a bit dodgy to me!!
Why would somebody you have only known a few weeks want to give you a tenner after losing £20? Defo a guilty in my eye's.
Lil
Need more information Duncan. I can imagine how a newbie might simply see an opening to ingratiate himself, or he might be genuinely a nice guy feeling for you. Doesn't make him a thief. OTOH, I'd be as suspicious as the most suspicious thing in the suspicious shop meself in those circumstances. One to keep an eye on, but can't really say either way without more evidence I reckon? confused I would be making sure I didn't present a similar opportunity again though.
N x x x ;)
Quote by neilinleeds
Need more information Duncan. I can imagine how a newbie might simply see an opening to ingratiate himself, or he might be genuinely a nice guy feeling for you. Doesn't make him a thief. OTOH, I'd be as suspicious as the most suspicious thing in the suspicious shop meself in those circumstances. One to keep an eye on, but can't really say either way without more evidence I reckon? confused I would be making sure I didn't present a similar opportunity again though.
N x x x ;)

We had gotten on really well several times, done the work, had a few bevvies etc. No real personality problems or anything like that.
But somehow I got the gut feeling that it was all a clever bit of work on his behalf. But there was little I could do to contest what had happened.
So the point I am making is, if he had engineered this as I described, does one accept it and move on to continue an acceptable realtionship; or question it all and invoke a hellish experience.
What would you do?
look at it this way ,, if the 20 turns up later u feel bad of thinking he done it,,,
keep a open mind,,,
Quote by twos_company
look at it this way ,, if the 20 turns up later u feel bad of thinking he done it,,,
keep a open mind,,,

No it never turned up. All this happened a while ago.
Quote by duncanlondon
So the point I am making is, if he had engineered this as I described, does one accept it and move on to continue an acceptable realtionship; or question it all and invoke a hellish experience.
What would you do?

Jeez - surely you do neither!
If he had engineered it and you can't prove it, as you obviously can't, then you move on but you treat him with the utmost caution and you don't 'try' to continue an acceptable relationship!!
Life is not black or white.
.
why would anayone go to the effort of engineering things just to nick £20 not worth it really is it?
I am not usually wrong about small things, because most people aren't either; if you think about it. So I had a strong feeling that something odd was going on.
So I accepted the tenner, mainly because I not only felt cheated and needed consolation; but because I was also curious.
Now he never made a thing of it and the incident wasn't mentioned again. We worked a few more times after that as if it had never happened.
But i have always had a gut feeling thet he did it just to show that it can be done, and was expert enough not to make it known.
Again the point is did the incident form a new aspect of a relationship. In that it proceeded with caution but with a different type of respect. I think it did as although he appeared unaffected by it, I could never be sure.
But is it not much different in the way that some employers or corporations take something off you and return something else?
Quote by duncanlondon
I had a 20 quid note in my bag. At lunchtime it had gone missing. I was working with a guy I had known for a few weeks. He offered to give me 10 quid to make me feel better.
Now did he steal the 20? Then got guilty and made it up to cover himself, so that at least he would make himself another tenner?
Or was he genuinely being a mate?
Because it seems like a very clever scam. You make some money and increase a friendship as well. What do you think?

I say you write it off: you can't prove it either way short of setting up a trap with a marked note - and why, honestly would you bother? - so just chalk it up.
You lost £20. You have no way of knowing if it was lost or stolen. But reading stuff into the motives of the guy will make you bitter and/or a tad paranoid.
Nola x
Quote by noladreams
I had a 20 quid note in my bag. At lunchtime it had gone missing. I was working with a guy I had known for a few weeks. He offered to give me 10 quid to make me feel better.
Now did he steal the 20? Then got guilty and made it up to cover himself, so that at least he would make himself another tenner?
Or was he genuinely being a mate?
Because it seems like a very clever scam. You make some money and increase a friendship as well. What do you think?

I say you write it off: you can't prove it either way short of setting up a trap with a marked note - and why, honestly would you bother? - so just chalk it up.
You lost £20. You have no way of knowing if it was lost or stolen. But reading stuff into the motives of the guy will make you bitter and/or a tad paranoid.
Nola x
I can't prove it to other people of course, but I know it was the most likely thing to have happened.
Also it's not such a difficult thing to do, providing you are willing to act out the role and have the nerve to do it. So that's what I figured out some time after the event happened.
Whilst it seems unbelievable, it could have been exactly what did happen.
I'm still struggling to believe that this thread doesn't have some other motive dunno
Quote by Dawnie
I'm still struggling to believe that this thread doesn't have some other motive dunno

Like what?
Quote by duncanlondon
I'm still struggling to believe that this thread doesn't have some other motive dunno

Like what?
If I knew, I would have posted it in my initial comment :lol2:
I am sure it will come to me at some point, probably in the middle of the night rolleyes
thief!
burn him
lp
if he was my 'friend ' i would not of suspected him one bit..but then im like that with 'friends'
Quote by duncanlondon
What would you do?

set a trap!!
Well let me explain. I met the guy on a job and through working together and having a few laughs we got friendly. But I don't think we considered each other as life long friends. So the trust was never total, but I assumed enough confidence in the relationship.
Indeed I had left my bag on several occasions and nothing had gone missing.
The point is, even now its the only explanation I can think of. Whilst he was a generous type I don't see that he would have felt the need to hand over money unecessarily. So the offer of half the money set alarm bells ringing.
Also the results of all this are that I had to accept the situation, was obliged to accept the money; because I actually needed it that day, and it became a defining moment of maintaining a friendship.
As I said the experience did not make me turn against him, and although it was always in the back of my mind, we still got along fine thereafter.
Now I can only liken it to a joint bank account; where your partner goes out and spends some money which you had not agreed to, and then offers to give part of it back asap, in order to keep the peace.
I'm lost as to what you're getting at here!!!...
dunno
Quote by duncanlondon
I had a 20 quid note in my bag. At lunchtime it had gone missing. I was working with a guy I had known for a few weeks. He offered to give me 10 quid to make me feel better.
Now did he steal the 20? Then got guilty and made it up to cover himself, so that at least he would make himself another tenner?
Or was he genuinely being a mate?
Because it seems like a very clever scam. You make some money and increase a friendship as well. What do you think?

Well what kind of a genuine mate are you to think it was your mate? you've 'presumed' with no hard evidence. If you were at work, wouldn't it be possible for anyone to walk in and see your bag lying around when you weren't there?
Don't you have lockers? safe places? or a wallet in your pocket?
And more fool you for leaving a £20 note lying around in your bag at work regardless of whether it's been 'ok' in the past wink
Innocent until proven guilty - that is of course you're not talking hypothetically and if you are, best not to talk in riddles and just come out with what's on your mind!?? :P
If he's a mate, a friendship is worth far more than £20, so forget about it.
Maybe you dropped it, maybe an interdimensional space portal opened and sucked it into the void lol
Not worth losing a friend over £20.
Quote by jaymar
I had a 20 quid note in my bag. At lunchtime it had gone missing. I was working with a guy I had known for a few weeks. He offered to give me 10 quid to make me feel better.
Now did he steal the 20? Then got guilty and made it up to cover himself, so that at least he would make himself another tenner?
Or was he genuinely being a mate?
Because it seems like a very clever scam. You make some money and increase a friendship as well. What do you think?

Well what kind of a genuine mate are you to think it was your mate? you've 'presumed' with no hard evidence. If you were at work, wouldn't it be possible for anyone to walk in and see your bag lying around when you weren't there?
Don't you have lockers? safe places? or a wallet in your pocket?
And more fool you for leaving a £20 note lying around in your bag at work regardless of whether it's been 'ok' in the past wink
Innocent until proven guilty - that is of course you're not talking hypothetically and if you are, best not to talk in riddles and just come out with what's on your mind!?? :P
As I said he was in the 'work colleague' category and a workmate ie someone I was teamed to work with, not a lifelong friend.
It was only the two of us in the building and no one else about. As I said before, I had left belongings in my bag many other times.
I am telling you what was on my mind. All of the above. There's no riddles, it is as I say.
Quote by Devon1
If he's a mate, a friendship is worth far more than £20, so forget about it.
Maybe you dropped it, maybe an interdimensional space portal opened and sucked it into the void lol
Not worth losing a friend over £20.

If I had dropped it I would have found it where we were working. If he had found it he should have known it was mine, perhaps. As I said we continued working together without any problems thereafter, so I valued our working relationship.
Quote by duncanlondon
It was only the two of us in the building and no one else about. As I said before, I had left belongings in my bag many other times.
I am telling you what was on my mind. All of the above. There's no riddles, it is as I say.

Ok so there's no-one else possibly about, including cleaners or other support staff. The buildings locked up and there's no way that it could have blown away from where you left it or dropped to the floor without you noticing. confused
From what you have said I think it's glaringly obvious that your co-worker's taken the money. It's pretty much an open and shut case. I think what's confusing people is the nature of the thread. Let me explain...
Every time another forum member post a possible or plausible solution to the missing money, which doesn't involve your co-worker, you seem to add information that proves their opinion or point invalid.
Maybe you have generated an opinion about your co-worker and as I assume that non of the other forum users know your workmate, it renders it almost impossible for us to create an opinion of their character and so agree or disagree with your opinion.
Can I ask, have you spoken to others that work with him regarding his or her character? That may prove to be more useful to you than the people from the forum seem to have been.
Oh and from the information you've given so far I think their guilty... let's hang 'em high....
Quote by easy

It was only the two of us in the building and no one else about. As I said before, I had left belongings in my bag many other times.
I am telling you what was on my mind. All of the above. There's no riddles, it is as I say.

Ok so there's no-one else possibly about, including cleaners or other support staff. The buildings locked up and there's no way that it could have blown away from where you left it or dropped to the floor without you noticing. confused
From what you have said I think it's glaringly obvious that your co-worker's taken the money. It's pretty much an open and shut case. I think what's confusing people is the nature of the thread. Let me explain...
Every time another forum member post a possible or plausible solution to the missing money, which doesn't involve your co-worker, you seem to add information that proves their opinion or point invalid.
Maybe you have generated an opinion about your co-worker and as I assume that non of the other forum users know your workmate, it renders it almost impossible for us to create an opinion of their character and so agree or disagree with your opinion.
Can I ask, have you spoken to others that work with him regarding his or her character? That may prove to be more useful to you than the people from the forum seem to have been.
Oh and from the information you've given so far I think their guilty... let's hang 'em high....

Yes I agree with a lot of what you say. My focus is not on the crime but on the reasons, methods and results.
If you accept that he did it by design then what I am saying is that he not only made himself some money, but also put me in an unusual position.
The offer of paying a tenner to console me must make most people wonder as to the reasons for this. Why was he so quick to make the offer. This is the difficult part to imagine, because only I am familiar with his behaviours. But it was almost an automatic response and just a bit unusual, don't you think?
Now the overall result of this incident was that I had to accept that I was working with someone who had a streak of criminal genius in them.
So this is the kind of area in which I am trying to see if people can discuss. I am not looking for pc plod to come and solve it.
Most good con artists are able to get away with their crimes whilst people are confused or hoodwinked. Its not until some time later that the victims realise what happened. And its often with the most unlikely people and circumstances in which such things can happen.
So I suppose another question is, was he a skilled con man or an opportunistic thief who hit on a neat idea on the spur of the moment?
Now why didn't you just say that in the first place dl!? rolleyes dunno
rotflmao :rotflmao: