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GFZ - Confessions of a Stag Night

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:shock: Friday already? :shock:
Sorry, I'm too old for you (bloody hell, now I DO feel old, can someone pass me my slippers? I think I need a weekend in the GFZ to get over my age problem )

Got your slippers over here blue, bend over............ :twisted:
lhk
Kat
Sex God
HAPPY weekend to the chaps...if you want spanking then form an orderly queue behind Kat!
*spits on hands to make them stronger*
Sorry Kat
Did you say you were going to 'slip her one'! :grin: or am I misreading the Signals again? (no change there then!)
Mal
wink
Did you say you were going to 'slip her one'! or am I misreading the Signals again? (no change there then!)
Oi - you are going to PAY for that! lol
Kat
Kat
They'll never figure it out in a month of Sundays flipa
Mal
wink
Sex God
mad :uhoh: :evil2: :evil2:
Could be a long weekend...
Cor, quiet in here tonight, where is everyone?
For some reason, the following made me think of this forum. smile
Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
lhk
Kat
Sex God
It's occured to me that if you substitute the word 'computer' with 'man' it makes MUCH more sense!!
lol :lol:
Sex God
Laws of Men
1. When with a MAN, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your MAN, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human...to blame your MAN for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. SHE who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of MAN problems is MAN solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. A MAN will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
YEEHA!!!
rotflmao :rotflmao:
What about number 7 being:
7: She who has the last laugh, probably has a strap on??
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
lhk
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
rotflmao :rotflmao:
What about number 7 being:
7: She who has the last laugh, probably has a strap on??
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
lhk

Good addition but I'll have to claim it as my own to keep the scene correct!!
THANKS Kat for pointing out I got it wrong... lol :lol:
:
The truth about
rotflmao :rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Warming the Bed
Have seen bits of that 'truth about ' still makes me grin though!
Reading that bought this to mind...

(background makes reading a little eye-watering, but its the text we're after! wink )
Enjoy! (& apologies if you've seen it before)
BB
Sex God
:censored: :bs:
Big Bob - I had not seen that one before, brilliant mate.
Jags, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the GFZ, now be a love and get me a beer thou buxom wench.
lhk
Sex God
Trots to fridge - takes out a beer- trots off in the direction of Kat...oops.. SO SORRY as I trip over the edge of the carpet and tip the whole bottle of beer into Kat's lap
x x xx
lol That was your beer Jags :lol:
Still want it??
*offers his lap to Jags willing, eager, moist, soft, red lips*
Take your time 8)
lhk
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
lol That was your beer Jags :lol:
Still want it??
*offers his lap to Jags willing, eager, moist, soft, red lips*
Take your time 8)
lhk

Now you know that I don't drink beer - it was yours!!! And I couldn't possibly even lick it off your lap.. cordorouy and beer aren't my favourite combination.!! *yeugh*
x xx
cordoury

ooooo - now that is below my belt! I will have you know these are my best underpants. Cordouroy underpants is the new black:P
Sexlightened
Just a bit of fun.....It's not my own work so don't blame me 8)
Eighteen months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from
Drinking Mates 4.2, which I'd used for years without
any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts
between these two products and the only solution was
to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned
off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also
incompatible with several other applications, such as
Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.
Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no
better. I tried a shareware beta-program, Party Girl
learning curve is easy and the user interface
for Party girl is very accessible but the program had
many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to
shut down completely for several weeks. I guess that
multi-user applications should be used in conjunction
with a firewall. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend
1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to
discover that when these two applications detected
each other they caused severe damage to all my
hardware.
Sensing a way out, I upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to
discover that this product has to be upgraded to Wife
1.0. I did this largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses
up all available resources, it does come bundled with
FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. However, I
discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and
costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could
not be deleted - they then re-surfaced months later.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and
E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch
Protostrop and Whingezip. These products have no help
files and require you to try and guess the problem
yourself.
Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0
bundle, which came with the original system, needs
upgrading regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro
for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs
to be re-installed every other week. It also
conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try,
stating that they are an illegal operation. Wife 1.0
also has a rather annoying "stay resident" pop-up
called Mother-in-Law, which cannot be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but
there could be problems. I'm told that if Wife 1.0
detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will delete
all MS Money files before un-installing itself.
Sex God
That is the funniest thing I've read for a long time :P
You should have married me, biker - I don't like shoes, and you could keep your mistress and your money (provided mistress is for me too, of course!) :twisted:
Oooohhhh, I'm soooooo wicked wink
Warming the Bed
Errrrm... wasn't that almost the same as the one I posted a link too earlier in in this thread? confused
Ahh well, it's still funny the 2nd time around wink
BB
lol
I had noticed, but was being polite and not saying anything!
lhk
:lol:
Sex God
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I hadn't even noticed, sorry BB!!!
Orgasminator
*sneaks in and checks everyone is asleep*
*switches rugby on and uses Kat as a footstool*
That'll teach him for throwing me out last time!
lol
Sex God
Quote by BlueEyes
*sneaks in and checks everyone is asleep*
*switches rugby on and uses Kat as a footstool*
That'll teach him for throwing me out last time!
lol

Oh- radical move that!! Good luck cos he'll wake up soon and throw you off (or grab you and ravage you senseless!).
x x
Morning BlueEyes,
Nice view from down here! :twisted:, Glad i've got my torch with me. 8)
Hiya Jags, looking gorgeous as ever.
Either of you want a cup of tea???
lhk
Kat
Orgasminator
*feels suspicious*
Oh, go on then!!!!
I could get used to this.
Can you change the channel as well, can't seem to find the remote control!
OK,
I'll just go and pop the kettle on, if you wouldn't mind removing your stilletos from my back first.
:angel:
*gives a prayer of thanks for gullible women*
Kat
Sex God
Morning - you took your time, I've been up for hours!!!
White, no sugar please - oh, and a clean cup too. Toast, butter and Marmite would be great.
lol
Laughs at Kat thinking women are gullible - we are just smarter at the game