Weekend has arrived. And the first question to be answered:
Analog Kid has calculated the total length of all the members of this forum to be about 0.7 km
So:
OK, so what would be the
a) volume
b) pressure
required to achieve a satisfactory ejaculation?
Do we need to establish minimum quantities and projection distance required to be considered a satisfactory ejaculation?
And going on from that, to provide the volume and pressure, what size bollocks would be required? And would the normal two be sufficient, or would it be better to have bollocks situated at regular intervals along the length of the penis as relay stations?
Scrapheap Challege, eat your heart out!
lhk
Kat
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GFZ - DJohn: "Blue, do your worst!"
Quote by KitKat
And going on from that, to provide the volume and pressure, what size bollocks would be required? And would the normal two be sufficient, or would it be better to have bollocks situated at regular intervals along the length of the penis as relay stations?
This sounds to me like a typical male misunderstanding of how his own bits work! Ejaculation occurs due to the contractions of the prostate and urethra.. bollocks are (often) unnecessary!
Having many prostates along the length could provide hours and hours of fun, not to mention wobbly knees!
Hope this helps,
Mandy (perhaps I should use Andy when in the GFZ!)
Just call me Doctor....
:shock:
Blasphemy!
Wheres the bluster and splutter emoticon when you need it!
And where the bloody hell is that Torquemada when you need him!
To think that those words could be uttered in the hollowed sphincter that is the GFZ. Shame on you! :taz: :censored: :taz: :censored: :taz: :censored:
bollocks are (often) unnecessary!:shock:
Blasphemy!
Wheres the bluster and splutter emoticon when you need it!
And where the bloody hell is that Torquemada when you need him!
To think that those words could be uttered in the hollowed sphincter that is the GFZ. Shame on you! :taz: :censored: :taz: :censored: :taz: :censored:
Unofficial calculations based on each male member having two testicles, and the occassional female having a pair too, compensatory factors for the imprecise non-spherical nature of each orb and of course, the effects of testicular orbit during physical sporting activities.... the super computer has computed...
it's a load of bollox
/TheKid
it's a load of bollox
/TheKid
Sex God
Seems I'm on my own in here tonight - good, I can have a peaceful snooze in an easy chair...... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :sleeping:
Sex God
Watch where you're sitting! That's my chair. Oh, go on then... if you must.
Sex God
That sounds dangerous... she's bound to wake up eventually.
Never shag someone in their sleep unless you know then well enough to be sure that your testicles will remain attached to your body for at least an hour after they wake up.
If any boy is ever unfortunate enough to have me as a father, that's the sort of advice I'm going to give him.
Never shag someone in their sleep unless you know then well enough to be sure that your testicles will remain attached to your body for at least an hour after they wake up.
If any boy is ever unfortunate enough to have me as a father, that's the sort of advice I'm going to give him.
Sex God
All I can say in reply is keep you backs to the wall, lads, whether you're sleeping or not - have you seen the size of my strap-on???? :shock:
Sex God
Not yet... stop teasing and show!
Sex God
Click on my www and go to the Hot and Horny page (I think!) - and there it is in all it's glory :shock:
Sex God
A bit big for me... but when you're wearing that, I don't think anyone's opinion counts but yours. That looks dangerous!
Sex God
Of course it's dangerous :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: - and the reason why people think twice about shagging me in my sleep - the revenge is bound to be painful :shock:
Sex God
There are people who'd see it as encouragement. A little danger can spice things up.
(looking at pictures again)
A lot of danger, on the other hand...
(looking at pictures again)
A lot of danger, on the other hand...
Sex God
I don't mind people interpretting my threats as encouragement - as you say, a little danger can spice things up... tell you what, I'll set you all a challenge...
We have a fight (oh yeah! :twisted: ) - if you win, you get to shag me, but if I win, I get to shag you...
Now in my opinion, that's what I call ENCOURAGEMENT :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Get in the ring, guys :twisted: 8)
We have a fight (oh yeah! :twisted: ) - if you win, you get to shag me, but if I win, I get to shag you...
Now in my opinion, that's what I call ENCOURAGEMENT :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Get in the ring, guys :twisted: 8)
Sex God
I'm enouraged :-) Now, what sort of fight is this? Is mud involved? I love it when you fight dirty.
(I just don't know when to stay quiet. You know she's going to win, John - she's choosing the game. But still you have to open your mouth)
(I just don't know when to stay quiet. You know she's going to win, John - she's choosing the game. But still you have to open your mouth)
Sex God
The game is unarmed combat - all strikes and throws allowed except strikes to the eyes, ears or groin, and no axe kicks allowed, other than that, it's game on... the winner is the one who doesn't die or doesn't say "mercy" (whichever comes first) :twisted:
Sex God
I'll gaffer tape my mouth closed. That should take care of saying ... that word (you nearly got me there). And I've had years of practice at not dying. So do your worst!
Sex God
This sounds too easy, but as the first rule of fight club is "never under-estimate your opponent", I'd say all bets are on right about now - is anyone going to give us the odds?
Sex God
Blue's profile says "Interests: Martial arts."
DJohn's profile says "Complete idiot. Professional victim."
Who will win? It depends on what you call winning.
DJohn's profile says "Complete idiot. Professional victim."
Who will win? It depends on what you call winning.
Sex God
Like you said - I picked the game - your only defence against getting really hurt is to lube up well :shock: , RVM, save me a fag for afterwards, won't you 
I've just read the previous page and for some reason "lamb to the slaughter" kept popping in to my head! :rotflmao:So do your worst!I nearly died laughing when you said that! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Blue's profile says "Interests: Martial arts."It certainly does!
Think I'll pull up a chair, this could get interestingI'll get one two.
Oh Djohn, you are so FUCKED!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I too have only just caught up with this thread.
I think Djohn deserves to win a mention in despatches for shear "British stiff upper lipped, clutching defeat from the jaws of victory, hopeless, helpless, misguided, misplaced enthusiasm ". It was men like him that nearly lost us the War.
We, who are about to open a tinny and chuckle, salute you.
Professional victim, is it....
I think Djohn deserves to win a mention in despatches for shear "British stiff upper lipped, clutching defeat from the jaws of victory, hopeless, helpless, misguided, misplaced enthusiasm ". It was men like him that nearly lost us the War.
We, who are about to open a tinny and chuckle, salute you.
Professional victim, is it....
Kat
What's all this "we" business??? :shock:
Listen mate if you want to risk, losing your family jewels and walking with a limp for the rest of your life, fine. Just count me out of your heroics, OK?!?
Whilst I would love to help DJohn, and under normal circumstances would do just that, Blue is looking to force an oversized dildo up someone's ring-piece and I'm buggered (literally) if it's going to be mine!! :shock: :shock:
She's already threatened me with it and I did what any sane man would do, when faced with such a predicament, I ran like F**K!!
Now be a good chap and sit down, you're blocking my view
shuffles off muttering, wondering if DJohn's family would prefer flowers or a donation to charity
RVM, i'm having a bit of a guilt trip, you know this is the GFZ, and we should really be doing something to help DJohn. What do you think??
What's all this "we" business??? :shock:
Listen mate if you want to risk, losing your family jewels and walking with a limp for the rest of your life, fine. Just count me out of your heroics, OK?!?
Whilst I would love to help DJohn, and under normal circumstances would do just that, Blue is looking to force an oversized dildo up someone's ring-piece and I'm buggered (literally) if it's going to be mine!! :shock: :shock:
She's already threatened me with it and I did what any sane man would do, when faced with such a predicament, I ran like F**K!!
Now be a good chap and sit down, you're blocking my view
shuffles off muttering, wondering if DJohn's family would prefer flowers or a donation to charity
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
Oh Djohn, you are so FUCKED!
I wouldn't be so lucky!
Ah well. It's been fun.
Do I get a last request? A final meal? A blindfold, at least?
I know what I need. A stunt double. Does anyone know where I can find one? "Hello, Bob's 24 hour emergency stunt double supplies. How can I help you?"
Guess it is up to me then........
.
OK DJohn, Blue is out clubbing tonight, so you have time to plan your strategy. First, know your opponent! Check out Office mendacity it will give you some idea of the tactics used on the last poor sod that locked horns with her!
And I tell you, he has never been the same since, a poor shattered wreck of a man, scraping an existence on the fringes of society now, more wraith than human, mind body and soul tortured twisted and maimed beyond recognition. :cry:
You probably only have one chance. In the past, Blue has responded to good old fashioned chivalry. Try a carefully worded plea to appeal as a gentleman to the lady in her, really lay it on thick. I guarantee that will get to her!
And, if all else fails. The clocks go back an hour tonight, so if you feel the urge to run, you have an extra hours head start.
Good Luck, we are all behind you, a very very very long way behind you.
What do you reckon RVM, think that will do the trick?? By the way, how did you get rid of that cabbage smell?
lhk
Kat
.
Do I get a last request? A final meal? A blindfold, at least?
OK DJohn, Blue is out clubbing tonight, so you have time to plan your strategy. First, know your opponent! Check out Office mendacity it will give you some idea of the tactics used on the last poor sod that locked horns with her!
And I tell you, he has never been the same since, a poor shattered wreck of a man, scraping an existence on the fringes of society now, more wraith than human, mind body and soul tortured twisted and maimed beyond recognition. :cry: You probably only have one chance. In the past, Blue has responded to good old fashioned chivalry. Try a carefully worded plea to appeal as a gentleman to the lady in her, really lay it on thick. I guarantee that will get to her!
And, if all else fails. The clocks go back an hour tonight, so if you feel the urge to run, you have an extra hours head start.
Good Luck, we are all behind you, a very very very long way behind you.
What do you reckon RVM, think that will do the trick?? By the way, how did you get rid of that cabbage smell?
lhk
Kat
