After an enforced closure last weekend to allow essential repairs to be carried out (Blue - please be careful where you are stubbing out those cigar butts!)
The management are pleased to announce that the GFZ is now open.
:beer: :high-smile: :beer: :high-smile: :beer: :high-smile:
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GFZ - England win by 19 points
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
The weekend is declared officially started!
8)
LHK
Kat
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
The weekend is declared officially started!
8)
LHK
Kat
Good man Kat!! 
Boy am I glad, to see the GFZ open again.
I left half a bottle of Glenmorangie and an ounce of rough shag, next to my easy chair last week. I'm just hoping Blue hasn't snook in and availed herself of my treats!
I know we shouldn't insult the girlies but, she really pushes her luck that one. And that's another thing, we're not sitting through video after video of Herr Scumbacker's finest bits. :twisted:
shuffles off muttering about how we need another Nigel Mansell and soon
Boy am I glad, to see the GFZ open again.
I left half a bottle of Glenmorangie and an ounce of rough shag, next to my easy chair last week. I'm just hoping Blue hasn't snook in and availed herself of my treats!
I know we shouldn't insult the girlies but, she really pushes her luck that one. And that's another thing, we're not sitting through video after video of Herr Scumbacker's finest bits. :twisted:
shuffles off muttering about how we need another Nigel Mansell and soon
I know we shouldn't insult the girlies but, she really pushes her luck that one. And that's another thing, we're not sitting through video after video of Herr Scumbacker's finest bits.
Be fair RVM, OLD Scumsuckers video must be very short.
So, how long will it take the girlies to start posting in here?
What time of the month is it?? :twisted: A police officer knocks on the window of a car parked in the early hours of the morning in a seculded car park:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th Drink Driving offence.
Officer: May I see the owner's log book for the vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the log bookin the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called for back up. The car was quickly surrounded by armed police, and the negotiator approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Negotiator: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Negotiator: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the log book.
The driver owned the car.
Negotiator: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Negotiator: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Negotiator: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you I was dogging, too.
LHK
Kat
:silly: PAAAAAAARRRRPPPPHHHHHHHHHHH.... :silly:
Well, girlies ALWAYS moan if you have a good old FART, and I was bustin'...! I have also eaten loads of Garlic bread, had double chill con carne and hired out some gungho movies. The beer is in the fridge next to the 4 pack of andrex...for the ring of fire tomorrow re the chilli...? Getting the meggablastic beatbox cranked up and the old air guitar is coming out tonight....! Definately a GFZ tonight, so if ANY of the buggers call me and DEMAND assistance....I will just be playing hard to get....POO POOH.....
men of the WORLD unite....NO NO WE WONT GO.....!
me mental but a plea for unity has been requested. Its a man thing gals... You have your way and we have ours..... Eyyy lads, just like it usta be all those years ago...remember....?????
:beer: then :smoke: then :crazy: then :sleeping: then
uch:
NO :beer: then :smile2: then :rose: then
then 
then 
then 
and THEN if lucky :sleeping:
come to think of it.....bugger you lot....I am off....!
The phone is on, I have had a bath and combed my bobby charlton hair....Back in buisness................????????
Well, girlies ALWAYS moan if you have a good old FART, and I was bustin'...! I have also eaten loads of Garlic bread, had double chill con carne and hired out some gungho movies. The beer is in the fridge next to the 4 pack of andrex...for the ring of fire tomorrow re the chilli...? Getting the meggablastic beatbox cranked up and the old air guitar is coming out tonight....! Definately a GFZ tonight, so if ANY of the buggers call me and DEMAND assistance....I will just be playing hard to get....POO POOH.....
men of the WORLD unite....NO NO WE WONT GO.....!
me mental but a plea for unity has been requested. Its a man thing gals... You have your way and we have ours..... Eyyy lads, just like it usta be all those years ago...remember....?????
:beer: then :smoke: then :crazy: then :sleeping: then
uch: NO :beer: then :smile2: then :rose: then
then then then and THEN if lucky :sleeping: come to think of it.....bugger you lot....I am off....!
The phone is on, I have had a bath and combed my bobby charlton hair....Back in buisness................????????
Kat
Yeah, but Blue sets the video to replay it, over and over and over again :cry:
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police arrived.
"My Goodness!" the officer gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there ...."
"Excuse me, ma'amâ€, the officer said, cutting her off, "There aren't any trees on this road, it's a motorway!"
So the officer walks over to the wrecked car. After looking inside, he comes back shaking his head.
"What's wrong officer? " the blonde asks
"That TREE you saw, was your air freshener swinging back and forth!"
Be fair RVM, OLD Scumsuckers video must be very short.
Yeah, but Blue sets the video to replay it, over and over and over again :cry:
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police arrived.
"My Goodness!" the officer gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there ...."
"Excuse me, ma'amâ€, the officer said, cutting her off, "There aren't any trees on this road, it's a motorway!"
So the officer walks over to the wrecked car. After looking inside, he comes back shaking his head.
"What's wrong officer? " the blonde asks
"That TREE you saw, was your air freshener swinging back and forth!"
Warming the Bed
How wreid is tihs?
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig
Whcih jsut geos to sohw alchool dwon pub deos not efcet us at all we sitll mkae prefcet secne. At laest to ohter boleks. :idea:
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig
Whcih jsut geos to sohw alchool dwon pub deos not efcet us at all we sitll mkae prefcet secne. At laest to ohter boleks. :idea:
Mod
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
Mod
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Hiya nweucolpe,
gald to see you cmae anloe! Good man!
Was taht Jgas I jsut saw? Wchih rmedins me, who is on calen up dtueis on Mdoany?
Cnat be diong wtih tihs, tekas mcuh too lnog to tpye.
What do you reckon to Jags then? Foxy piece of skirt or what! But I've been wondering, thong girl or not, tell you what, next time she comes in, I'll chuck something on the floor, somone else sneak up behind her, when she bends down to pick it up, see if what she is wearing. Get to the bottom of things so to speak!
Is that my beer?!?!
Two friends, Mike and Jack, were the biggest Rugby fans ever. For their entire adult lives, Mike and Jack discussed Rugby history in the summer and poured over reports during the season. They went to 50 games a year.
They agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was rugby in heaven. One summer night, Mike passed away in his sleep after watching the watching the final of the Rugby world cup. He died happy.
A few nights later, Jack awoke to the sound of Mike's voice from beyond.
"Mike is that you?" Jack asked.
"Of course it's me," Mike replied.
"So tell me, is there Rugby in heaven?" Jack inquired.
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that there is Rugby in heaven.
"Oh, that's wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're scrum half tomorrow night."
:beer:
Kat
gald to see you cmae anloe! Good man!
Was taht Jgas I jsut saw? Wchih rmedins me, who is on calen up dtueis on Mdoany?
Cnat be diong wtih tihs, tekas mcuh too lnog to tpye.
What do you reckon to Jags then? Foxy piece of skirt or what! But I've been wondering, thong girl or not, tell you what, next time she comes in, I'll chuck something on the floor, somone else sneak up behind her, when she bends down to pick it up, see if what she is wearing. Get to the bottom of things so to speak!
Is that my beer?!?!
Two friends, Mike and Jack, were the biggest Rugby fans ever. For their entire adult lives, Mike and Jack discussed Rugby history in the summer and poured over reports during the season. They went to 50 games a year.
They agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was rugby in heaven. One summer night, Mike passed away in his sleep after watching the watching the final of the Rugby world cup. He died happy.
A few nights later, Jack awoke to the sound of Mike's voice from beyond.
"Mike is that you?" Jack asked.
"Of course it's me," Mike replied.
"So tell me, is there Rugby in heaven?" Jack inquired.
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that there is Rugby in heaven.
"Oh, that's wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're scrum half tomorrow night."
:beer:
Kat
Warming the Bed
Hey Kat
If Jags bends down in front of me I won't be lifting her skirt just to see what colour her knickers are
Your round :beer:
If Jags bends down in front of me I won't be lifting her skirt just to see what colour her knickers are
Your round :beer:
If Jags bends down in front of me I won't be lifting her skirt just to see what colour her knickers are
Dare You!
There will be a beer in it for you, after all, got to make it worth your while!
:twisted: :twisted:
I'll go see if I can find her.......
*Oh Jags Sweetie, could you just pop in the GFZ for a moment please*
Kat
Warming the Bed
Never could resist a dare.
Its got me into so much trouble over the years.
A well here we go again
Oh Jags! Jags! Kat has dropped something on the floor please be a darling and bend over to pick it up :twisted:
Its got me into so much trouble over the years.
A well here we go again
Oh Jags! Jags! Kat has dropped something on the floor please be a darling and bend over to pick it up :twisted:
Extract from the latest Mills and Boon Novel with writing like this there
really is no need for pictures...
We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.
We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now.
Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I could
feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she frantically
thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first, inch by
inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as the tension rose, we threw
caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to the moment. Although
inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm,
moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent myself ending it all
too soon. As the sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind
blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out any longer.
Finally, the moment we had been building up to was upon us, and passed alltoo quickly. Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she had been.
She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear whispered, 'Baaaaaaa' and rejoined the flock.
:happy:
really is no need for pictures...
We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.
We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now.
Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I could
feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she frantically
thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly at first, inch by
inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as the tension rose, we threw
caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to the moment. Although
inexperienced, she approached every change of position with enthusiasm,
moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent myself ending it all
too soon. As the sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind
blowing climax, it was all I could do to hold out any longer.
Finally, the moment we had been building up to was upon us, and passed alltoo quickly. Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she had been.
She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear whispered, 'Baaaaaaa' and rejoined the flock.
:happy:
Of course I'm foxy, but then I 'm not the best judge!!!
Warming the Bed
Fact is stranger than fiction my very first defence case was to defend a Welshman accused of sheep shagging.
He was found guilty.
Afterwards he admitted that it was the best shag of his life and had no regrets.
To this day I can't look at a sheep without imagining stockings and suspenders just like the ones the sheep wore in court.
His punishment was severe too servere in my book he had to buy the whole halls of residence a beer over at the student union.
Ah what fun we had
He was found guilty.
Afterwards he admitted that it was the best shag of his life and had no regrets.
To this day I can't look at a sheep without imagining stockings and suspenders just like the ones the sheep wore in court.
His punishment was severe too servere in my book he had to buy the whole halls of residence a beer over at the student union.
Ah what fun we had
Of course I'm foxy, but then I 'm not the best judge!!!
Well, when asked for marks out of two,
Not met a bloke yet who would not give you one. :twisted:
lhk
Kat
but it'll take more than smooth talking to get me to bend over near you!!!
*watches Jags open the fridge - note to self - put the wine on the bottom shelf next time*
lhk
Kat
Sex God
Very nice, but more importantly for tonight: Wigan Warriors or Bradford Bulls?
RVM said
Talking of which, I see Blue is in. 8)
:P I've been waiting all night to say that :P :P
lhk
Kat
rough shag,
Talking of which, I see Blue is in. 8)
:P I've been waiting all night to say that :P :P
lhk
Kat
Very nice, but more importantly for tonight: Wigan Warriors or Bradford Bulls?Having a quiet night tonight then Blue, just the one team??
lhk
Kat
See what happens, when I turn my back? :shock:
I miss Beckers, calmly strolling into the room, casually mentioning he was on a promise tonight, then leaving.
I miss Kat, getting a well deserved slap off Jags. Then miss his determined efforts to get her to bend over.
Don't tell me I've also missed the sad demise of New Couple
I mean, he/they seemed so nice. Then he attempts the suicidal "Take Jags from behind" manoeuvre!! :shock: :shock: FFS New Couple, don't allow Kat to manipulate you into entertaining all of us.
Personally I get no pleasure, from watching a grown man trying vainly to re-attach his testicles, having had them removed forceably by an irate girlie :roll:
shuffles off muttering, about how the All Blacks looked a wee bit too impressive against Canada
I miss Beckers, calmly strolling into the room, casually mentioning he was on a promise tonight, then leaving.
I miss Kat, getting a well deserved slap off Jags. Then miss his determined efforts to get her to bend over.
Don't tell me I've also missed the sad demise of New Couple
I mean, he/they seemed so nice. Then he attempts the suicidal "Take Jags from behind" manoeuvre!! :shock: :shock: FFS New Couple, don't allow Kat to manipulate you into entertaining all of us. Personally I get no pleasure, from watching a grown man trying vainly to re-attach his testicles, having had them removed forceably by an irate girlie :roll:
shuffles off muttering, about how the All Blacks looked a wee bit too impressive against Canada
don't allow Kat to manipulate you into entertaining all of usOI! :taz: I resemble that remark! New couple, don't listen to him. He is just sulking cos he his once pround manhood is now a bruised, sooty and very cabbage smelling shadow of it's former self. :grin:
Long story - RVM will explain!
Kat
I resemble that remark
Are you sure you RESEMBLE that remark... don't you mean you RESENT that remark???? :lol: That's what comes from attacking me from behind and stealing my wine!!!
Now... any of you boys who think they are good enough to try that trick, be warned, I bite back....
Don't care about sport much
Are you sure you RESEMBLE that remark... don't you mean you RESENT that remark????
:lol: That's what comes from attacking me from behind and stealing my wine!!! Now... any of you boys who think they are good enough to try that trick, be warned, I bite back....
Don't care about sport much
