Some of you will remember that the other week I posted a message about how tongue and I had given up swinging, how we were going to concentrate on just each other,, well that was not the whole story.
The reason we were not going to swing any more was due to the fact that though he had never cheated on me, he had been tempted to, and had almost done so(encouraged by some people who knew me and our relationship, and a woman who was well aware he had a girlfriend) . This resulted in me not being able to trust him, something that without you can not be swingers.
After many tears ( on my part) and promises (on his part) as well as him telling me he loved me more than life itself, etc etc and promising the world to me if I forgave him, I agreed to give him another chance., to work on our relationship and let him earn my trust again.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Soooo.. for the past two weeks we have not been swingers, or so I thought.
Less than two weeks after swearing life long commitment to me, and wanting me to live with him etc I found out yesterday that he had once again gone behind my back, actually meeting someone this time.
I have spent two days crying till my eyes are more swollen than if I had been punched.
I feel dizzy and sick and cant even think.
As he had been found out he had no choice but to admit what he had done( though not the full story) and was yet again apologising, begging me to forgive him and swearing he loves me.
I just cant believe that someone who says he loves me so much could do this to me, how he could do the same thing to me – two weeks after seeing how it tore me apart the first time. I really wonder if it must be me, if there is something so wrong with me that I am driving him to it.
You are all probably wondering why I am sharing this with you?
We met through here 13 months ago, and just fell for each other straight away. We got in deep pretty quick I guess, he even asked me to marry him after only 6 months.
I just feel that as our relationship developed it has always been partly through here. We made loads of friends as a couple and it was like SH was part of us.
I just thought as all the good stuff had been shared the end might as well be too.
I guess I also wanted some help, I am totally in despair at the moment and I cant share it with anyone. How can I explain to my family and friends why/how my bf was meeting woman off a swingers site without having to “drop myself in it†so to speak.
I feel like the worst thing in my life has happened and I have no one I can share it with but you guys, so I am sorry to depress you all.
Despite all this I still think I love hum, regardless of how much he has hurt me…. Why cant I hate him?
sorry to hear all this well busty babe life sometimes does indeed kick people where it hurts.
I know it's easy to sit on the fence and say well if he really cared he wouldn't have gone behind your back it must be killing you.
Only advice I can do is follow your heart but from this side if he actually met someone did he mean what he said.
Has he said why he met them was it for sex? or just for friends?
Don't think for a second it is you though as I'm pretty new you always seem to come across as a good egg and it's hiss loss if he needs to see other people.
As for your family and friends do they even need to know about this side of your life?
Well thats enough of my random waffling back to lurking hehe
(((((HUGS))))))))
:therethere:
:therethere: :therethere:
Gonna PM u Hunni
Kitty xx
I really hope you can smile again soon hunny bunny.
Big hugs to a very lovely lady xxxxxxxxx
we are so sorry to here this , hus n loves babe , xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My heart goes out to you Well Busty. All I can offer is support if you need some, a shoulder to cry on and my heartfelt wishes and a huge HUG
John
:therethere: :therethere:
WBB :therethere: Keep your chin up WBB.. things always work out in the end
Aaaaaaaaaaaw, I'm so sorry. It's a really shitty thing to happen to you, but it's not just in swinging relationships that total honesty and trust is essential for long term happiness.
I do hope you'll be able to move on soon. There is life beyond.
ES xx
Oh WBB I am so sorry to hear you two have parted
Big hugs to you
Love and best wishes
Dawn xxxxxxxxxx
there is nothing wrong with you, it's not your fault. just keep repeating that.
You will find strength through your friends here and through yourself and you will get through this.
BIG BIG HUGS from us :therethere:
Busty Babe,
you don't know me but i felt like posting to you to say hang in there. I think honesty is really important in any relationship, even more so in a mutually agreed non monogamous one.
If it were me (and I cannot put myself in your shoes so I am generalising here) before I even decide again whether there is still a chance for the relationship to be mended, I would want to know the reason why he wants to be with me. Does being with me affords him the luxury of a sexual lifestyle that he might find it hard to replicate with other women who might not be as liberal minded?
Many men that I have come across think that a long term life & sexual partner in a swinging relationship is the luckiest man on earth for having a partner whom to their eyes are 'up to it' all the time, allows him the freedom of engaging in sex with other women etc etc. I don't think that is what swinging is all about myself. There needs to be a clear and lucid line between swinging and cheating.
Anyway, I am rambling. I do hope you come out of this feeling even more empowered.
Thinking of you.
Lots of (((((hugs))))) from me too. :therethere:
LC
Hummm Although I have never actually met anyone for real .... I like this site because its like a cozy sort of place to hang out with cool people. Anyway, sorry to hear of yr probs I am sure the sun will shine again for you ! and at least there are some nice people here to cheer you up in the meantime !
sorry to hear of your heartache
try and keep smiling
Awww...Well Busty Babe...so sorry to hear that...you are both such lovely people :cry:
I hope things work out for you in the end....
:therethere:
H & T...xxxxxxxxxx
Can't say much to console or help - you obviousley have a good network of friends on here - but heres a hug :therethere:
Andy. x
thinking of you wbb
:therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :love:
Sorry to hear that you are having problems WBB hope you get it all sorted out soon, look after yourself & try to keep your chin up
:therethere:
Big hugs from me
assionkiss:
