Guys, how do you know if you're Bi?

24 Feb 2005

Hi everyone, this my first post so be kind. I'm 40yrs old and i so thought a red bloodied male stud. But in the last year or so, it seems i've been getting a lot of attention from my own sex (looks, comments etc) even my own family have noticed it. The thing is i quite like the attention and to be honest that's why i'm here i want to have an encounter with a couple male being bi. That brings me to my question guys how do you know if your bi. I play semi-professional football have done for the last 20 odd years so i see naked men all the time and yes we do look at each other, slap bums we even grab each other in the showers as boys do. Basically the thought of a same sex encounter really turns me but i know i'm not gay because i love sex with women.
Your comments will be most welcome.

24 Feb 2005

In short, you know if you're bi if you like having sex with both males and females, or you at least fantasise about doing so confused

.
OK, OK, it's more complicated than that, but I'm meant to be working rolleyes

... i'm sure others will fill you in on the details hehehehehehe :twisted: , or have a look at the search facility, we've discussed bisexuality on here several times at length, and then some smile

24 Feb 2005

Well i always under stood that we are all bi!...just some of us haven't realized it yet or should i say come out dunno

24 Feb 2005

Just check, you could be a hermaphrodite trapped in the wrong gender, like me and a few others (?) sad

24 Feb 2005

Hello Judy, thankyou for your helpful comments i've had several offers from guys all willing to show me the ropes, although i chat to them and get turned on by some of them i've so far not met them. You've made me think that maybe i should try it with one of them first.

24 Feb 2005

I don't think it's fair to say everyone is bi, and those who haven't come out are in denial. I also don't think bisexuality is about who you've had sex with (I haven't had sex with a girl yet but I've always been extremely attracted to girls).
If you can imagine a man that you have considered attractive to you personally, and you can imagine touching them intimately and feeling that electrical buzz you get when you really fancy some one, you could be bi.
More than anything - there is no test to whether you are bi or not. Some people's attractions change during adulthood and it just shows us that sexuality can be fluid. I think the main thing is not to panic, it doesn't mean you have to be anything new or different, just take things slow and see what you like and what you don't. Good luck x

24 Feb 2005

Thankyou Poniella/Debbiewebs. I read your post Libra Love, very amusing.

24 Feb 2005

It could be that If you are going through a female famine then men are more available for a feast wink

!

24 Feb 2005

Hiya, i s'pose it could be true in some cases, but not in this case

24 Feb 2005

Hiya Vinesy,
You have said that the thought of a same sex encounter really turns you on. So yes, your first step is probably to accept that you are bi.
The next, and much more difficult question, is are you going to DO anything about it. - and if so, what?
It is not surprising that it is only some blokes that turn you on, that is only natural. So perhaps the best thing in the short term is to do as you are doing now. Get used to thinking of yourself as bi, once you are comfortable with how you feel about yourself, then decide if you still want to turn your fantasies into reality. - By that time you will have a good idea about who turns you on, and should be able to avoid the mistake of rushing in to an encounter with the wrong person.
lhk
Kat

24 Feb 2005

Thanks for the advice Kat you've been very helpful, as has everyone...

24 Feb 2005

looks like you have abit of beef on you there vinsey wink

i could take you by the hand and lead you into the dark side lol ...come with me i have the light :twisted:

24 Feb 2005

Thanks Rachel, shall i bring a torch?

24 Feb 2005

why worry
if the thoughts of a sexual encounter with a man turn you on
maybe its just a fantasy (we all get them )
but if you meet a man who makes you insane with lust ........go with the flow
label............names ............who cares sexuality is ours to explore

24 Feb 2005

a torch!!! nah just focus on the fire in my eyes hehehe

24 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
Hi and welcome.
If its only a couple you are interested in then you may not be bi at all, there may well be a hidden agenda. You may subconsciously be using this as a rout to a couple. The idea of sex with a couple is probably more of what you are looking for rather than a bi encounter. Ask yourself this question, would you consider having a one on one sexual encounter with a member of your own sex? The answers to this will help you.
Judy

So going on that theory then judy I can't be bi :confused: I don't entertain one on one sex with a bloke - but I will with a bloke when part of a couple.
Hmmmmm

24 Feb 2005

In that case i'll bring my stoker! LOL

24 Feb 2005

In that case i'll bring my stoker! LOL

24 Feb 2005

Quote by Rainbows
So going on that theory then judy I can't be bi :confused:

I`m whatever I want to be, when the fancy takes me.
Today I shall be a cream puff. Don`t care what the definition of a cream puff is. I think, therefore I am. :mrgreen:
Venusxxx

24 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars

So going on that theory then judy I can't be bi :confused:

I`m whatever I want to be, when the fancy takes me.
Today I shall be a cream puff. Don`t care what the definition of a cream puff is. I think, there for I am. :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Personally i've always thought of you as a tart ... oooops ... bolt

24 Feb 2005

Quote by KitKat
It is not surprising that it is only some blokes that turn you on, that is only natural. So perhaps the best thing in the short term is to do as you are doing now. Get used to thinking of yourself as bi, once you are comfortable with how you feel about yourself, then decide if you still want to turn your fantasies into reality. - By that time you will have a good idea about who turns you on, and should be able to avoid the mistake of rushing in to an encounter with the wrong person.

Kat makes a very valid point here. Do take your time and enjoy your first experience with someone who turns you on, rather than rushing into something just becuase you want to know. Just becuase a person is bi doesn't mean they are going to be attracted to everyone of the same sex - just as all straight people aren't automatically attracted to all other straight people. If you rush into something just for the experience you may come away more confused. But if your first experience is a good one - then you may come away with a whole new world opening up to you.
Just my tuppence worth.
aRSexx :color:

24 Feb 2005

I was a tart this morning. It has been dealt with. I am now a cream puff :smug:
Venusxxx

24 Feb 2005

Quote by VenusnMars
I think, there for I am a cream puff . :mrgreen:

Venus - they broke the mould sweetie biggrin

24 Feb 2005

Pardon my ignorance and I bow to the superior knowledge displayed on this thread.
But I would have thought If ya got a stiffy whilst fantasing about or looking at another bloke it would be a bit of a clue.
Anyways just "do what is right".
Lb :love:

24 Feb 2005

even tho over the years ive had 1 or 2 MM or rather TVM rolleyes

encounters,its only about 2years ago that i truely came to terms with my bi-sexuality.
even though i do prefer women if i pull a bloke then i enjoy it,where as before after id shagged a bloke id feel like shit for days after.
also i can only shag or fancy men when im satin or dee,try anything on with me when im my boring ugly "male" side and you ll get told to one. thats one thing i dont quite understand about myself dunno

24 Feb 2005

Quote by satin
even tho over the years ive had 1 or 2 MM or rather TVM encounters

Would that be one or two per day, Satin? :lol2:

24 Feb 2005

Hm, its a tough one. I struggled with it for quite a few years during my teens. I'm generally only attracted to fairly effeminate men (and women)
I don't think you should rush into a scenario with a man, if you're not 100% sure that thats what you want.. Unless you find a very understanding guy whos willing to take it very slowly, and give you plenty of time to back out. I know the first experience I had, which was with a transsexual (best of both worlds) took me a few visits to her house before I plucked up the courage to ahem, let her take the initiative. I'm possibly rambling now, so I apologise.
In summary, have you ever looked at a man, and suddenly felt like you absolutely had to have him? Really, if you're attracted to a person, sex or sexuality doesn't really come into it. It's just society has attached a stigma to it, that perhaps blocks people from entertaining the possibility. Hm, I really will stop now. Trying to make sense while nursing the most godawful hangover in the univrerse is a tad difficult :P
Good luck, and take care
Ken

24 Feb 2005

Just like to say thankyou to everyone who's replied, you've all been a big help. I am certainly a lot clearer in my mind about what i want. Once again thankyou all

24 Feb 2005

Quote by Rainbows
Hi and welcome.
If its only a couple you are interested in then you may not be bi at all, there may well be a hidden agenda. You may subconsciously be using this as a rout to a couple. The idea of sex with a couple is probably more of what you are looking for rather than a bi encounter. Ask yourself this question, would you consider having a one on one sexual encounter with a member of your own sex? The answers to this will help you.
Judy

So going on that theory then judy I can't be bi :confused: I don't entertain one on one sex with a bloke - but I will with a bloke when part of a couple.
Hmmmmm

Rainbows~
I'm with you on this one, although perhaps approaching it from the opposite direction. I had my first same-sex encounter when I was 15 and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then, at 16, I discovered the awesome power of breasts... silly

hwoar: ...and, since then, there's been no turning back.
Although I still enjoy same-sex encounters, it's never without Vix being present. Thus, because I wouldn't consider a one-on-one sexual encouter with a member of my own sex, I guess I'm not genuinely bi- either!
Still, if I had to choose a label, I would just keep calling myself bisexual (I got over the "-curious" stage some 25 years ago, dammit!). I do find some men sexually attractive in the same way as I do some women...the fact that I don't act upon this "solo" has no real bearing on my actual preferences.
Am I merely "mentally bi-"? "Conditionally bi-"? Who can say? I'm certainly not "straight", coz I do enjoy sucking cock; but I'm not "gay", either, because I enjoy and even prefer sex with women. I've always considered "bisexual" to be the middle ground between these two ends of the spectrum, regardless of degree.
Eh, I think I'll just stick with the "bi-" label for myself. I've grown rather accustomed to it and, despite any formalities which may be imposed upon the definition, it still seems to be a comfortable fit...
...besides, I need some sort of label to describe myself in our SH ad! lol

~Reese!

24 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
Reese,
The question was directed at Vinesy in particular and was not intended as a general rule for all and in fact it was not even an acid test. It may not prove his bisexuality either way but was merely intended as an indication "for him' to look at not a general rule of thumb. It was in answer to help him with the question 'he' posed. Your own orientation is for you to decide and no one else. I would never be so arogant as to tell you what you are as I still often question my own sexuality on a regular basis.
We are all individuals and only we ourselves can make decisions on what and who we are based on our own evidence both mental and physical. All theories have holes in them and are easily picked open that is why they are just theories and not hard and fast benchmarks.
Judy.

Judy~
Understood - and your question certainly does provide some good food for thought, especially if it is in the context of finding one's way into a couple with an intentional focus upon the female. To this end, I sometimes worry about males emplying the label of "bi-", as it could be merely a ploy...resulting in a potentially uncomfortable situation during an actual encouter with a genuine bi-couple.
Then again, I can also understand the possibility of a single individual - be they male or female - being attracted specifically to couples in order to participate intimately within their relationship to each other. That's one I've never seen a designated label for, but I'm sure it exists as I could imagine myself in that position if I were a single person.
It's a difficult and widely-variable spectrum, this bi- lark, and can reveal so much about the inner makeup of an individual far beyond their sexual orientation. If someone is honestly asking the "Am I bi-?" question from their heart, then I would seriously speculate that they are, even if only from a mental perspective. I likewise know few "swingers" who would never act upon their predispositions, but I accept them as such because of how they have expressed what they feel inside.
The human brain is indeed a most powerful sexual organ, and if one can conceive themselves pleasurably engaging both sexes in intimate physical relations, then that is the measure I would be most confident with in assessing one's sexuality. If your dreams and fantasies can truly take you there...then that you are (at least for the time within which it satiates your desires)!
Granted, this is just my own humble opinion, but I'm sticking to it! ;)
~Reese! surprised