oooooo a dare!!!!!!!!!!!!
(god I must be half cut or totally naffed off today -normally I wouldn't open myself up for a dare)
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Guys, spare a thought for the single ladies, eh?
LUCIFER! That has to be your best post to date. I'm stunned, amazed and almost gob-smacked!
I can certainly relate to a couple of those examples
Did you mention - Imagine receiving unwanted mail from a total fecking arsehole insisting you sent him a text message of an 'adult nature' and then when you strongly deny it ("if I had, you'd have my mobile number, right???") and make it very clear in no uncertain terms that you are NOT looking for anything, he then continues to email you several times, practically calls you a liar and a timewaster and a tease and STILL pushes for a meet ffs!
Grrrrrrrrr
Oh yeah - and what about the one who doesn't turn up for the meet, but you stupidly give him a second chance, only for him to cancel 2 MINUTES before the arranged meeting time - by text (ignorant!!) - to tell you, actually, he's seeing someone and hopes you understand. No, I didn't actually, considering an hour before that he was totally up for it - texting, online chatting etc. More Grrrrrrrrr!*
*(edit) forgot this bit - 3 months later, he emailed me telling me his relationship hadn't worked out and was I still interested?!?!
I can certainly relate to a couple of those examples
Did you mention - Imagine receiving unwanted mail from a total fecking arsehole insisting you sent him a text message of an 'adult nature' and then when you strongly deny it ("if I had, you'd have my mobile number, right???") and make it very clear in no uncertain terms that you are NOT looking for anything, he then continues to email you several times, practically calls you a liar and a timewaster and a tease and STILL pushes for a meet ffs!
Grrrrrrrrr
Oh yeah - and what about the one who doesn't turn up for the meet, but you stupidly give him a second chance, only for him to cancel 2 MINUTES before the arranged meeting time - by text (ignorant!!) - to tell you, actually, he's seeing someone and hopes you understand. No, I didn't actually, considering an hour before that he was totally up for it - texting, online chatting etc. More Grrrrrrrrr!*
*(edit) forgot this bit - 3 months later, he emailed me telling me his relationship hadn't worked out and was I still interested?!?!
Sex God
Quote by Jags
<gets out black rope ready for Matt>
Mmm, I like where this is going..... :gagged:
Sex God
Thank you very much Jags. I don't want to be gagged, tied up AND blindfolded without somebody to lead the way. That could get naughty.
Sex God
Jags takes Matts shackled hand gently and leads him carefully through the candle lit room.
Matt finds it hard to manoeuvre naked, tied with black ropes where there shouldn’t be ropes, but he manages by staying as close as he can to Jags. Her wonderful scent is leading the way through the darkness and Matt can only think of what could happen next.
“Stop here†Jags orders, as she leaves Matts hand and begins to undress.
“Right, on the bed. If you do as you’re told I may just keep
Matt stumbles around in front of him to find the bed and slowly lowers onto his back. Jags grabs hold of Matts hands and pulls them above his head so they are wrapped around the headboard.
Matt is now laid across Jags bed, unmovable and naked. Jags is stood there appreciating her work as she starts to let her hands wander over his body.
Jags starts to kiss ever so gently on the neck of Matt although Matt really needs jags to fully embrace him. Using his strength he manages to lift up slightly and catch Jags soft and gorgeous lips. The embrace lasts for a god minute, in which Jags has worked her way over Matt to get a better feel of his body between her warm and pulsating thighs.
Pulling away as slow as Jags can Jags starts to make her way down Matts body. Kissing Matts chest Jags slides Matt inside her. Knowing that he can’t move from his position Jags has total control over what happens and how.
Sitting up, Jags rests her hands on Matts chest and really thrusts backwards to ensure the placement of Matt is perfect. Matt is letting out loud groans and pulling on the black ropes to reach for Jags who is gyrating softly against him.
Jags can feel Matt inside her and Jags just can not contain herself any more. Jags really is jumping up and down now, making sure the Matt is always inside. Matt starts to feel himself fill up with joy as Jags reaches behind her and grabs hold of Matts extremely overloaded balls.
Lowering down Jags starts to kiss Matthew with great passion and holding onto him with all her might. Pulling him close and fucking him hard. Neither can hold on for any longer. The candles, the ropes, the passion and heat between Jags and Matt was too much as they collapse onto each other with hot climax.
I hope this is what you are meaning Jags.....
Matt finds it hard to manoeuvre naked, tied with black ropes where there shouldn’t be ropes, but he manages by staying as close as he can to Jags. Her wonderful scent is leading the way through the darkness and Matt can only think of what could happen next.
“Stop here†Jags orders, as she leaves Matts hand and begins to undress.
“Right, on the bed. If you do as you’re told I may just keep
Matt stumbles around in front of him to find the bed and slowly lowers onto his back. Jags grabs hold of Matts hands and pulls them above his head so they are wrapped around the headboard.
Matt is now laid across Jags bed, unmovable and naked. Jags is stood there appreciating her work as she starts to let her hands wander over his body.
Jags starts to kiss ever so gently on the neck of Matt although Matt really needs jags to fully embrace him. Using his strength he manages to lift up slightly and catch Jags soft and gorgeous lips. The embrace lasts for a god minute, in which Jags has worked her way over Matt to get a better feel of his body between her warm and pulsating thighs.
Pulling away as slow as Jags can Jags starts to make her way down Matts body. Kissing Matts chest Jags slides Matt inside her. Knowing that he can’t move from his position Jags has total control over what happens and how.
Sitting up, Jags rests her hands on Matts chest and really thrusts backwards to ensure the placement of Matt is perfect. Matt is letting out loud groans and pulling on the black ropes to reach for Jags who is gyrating softly against him.
Jags can feel Matt inside her and Jags just can not contain herself any more. Jags really is jumping up and down now, making sure the Matt is always inside. Matt starts to feel himself fill up with joy as Jags reaches behind her and grabs hold of Matts extremely overloaded balls.
Lowering down Jags starts to kiss Matthew with great passion and holding onto him with all her might. Pulling him close and fucking him hard. Neither can hold on for any longer. The candles, the ropes, the passion and heat between Jags and Matt was too much as they collapse onto each other with hot climax.
I hope this is what you are meaning Jags.....
ops: 
:D 
Sex God
Sorry everybody.
This was a rushed up job so the spelling, grammer is very poor. When I'm sober I'll try and hijack another post with something like this. (Sorry Lucifer, your post was really good and there goes me on a completely different tanjent).
Mind you, your hardon is greatly appreciated.
This was a rushed up job so the spelling, grammer is very poor. When I'm sober I'll try and hijack another post with something like this. (Sorry Lucifer, your post was really good and there goes me on a completely different tanjent).
Mind you, your hardon is greatly appreciated.
Sex God
matt
that's the last time i send you me porno pm template. ((( see another thread ))) it's working altogether too well. give us it back ffs!
<<< feck >>>
neil ;-)
that's the last time i send you me porno pm template. ((( see another thread ))) it's working altogether too well. give us it back ffs!
<<< feck >>>
neil ;-)
Orgasminator
Quote by Jags
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Goes off to search bedroom for mics
:shock:
Jags, do you usually have an abundance of mics in the house? Are the mics incase you get horny at night so they are on tap? Are mics as good as mikes?
Wouldnt mind a couple of micshells in my bedroom
Quote by Lucifer
I've been sooooo tempted to jump into some of the recent posts about how hard it is being a single male on here, and I've relented up till now, but can do so no longer. You see, it can be damned hard for the single ladies too. I'm just curious why none of them have responded......
It can certainly be very frustrating being a single male, but I think you have proved that there is a wide variety of life out there. Trouble much of it can be classified as pond life. My frustrations include being stood up without apologies, bring dumped by women who simply fail to respond to emails or phone calls (no feedback), women who chat & say they want to meet but who can never quite find the time...
All of which makes me really appreciate meeting someone who is reliable, does what they say, says what they mean, turns up (reasonably) on time. Its great when it happens even though it doesn't happen very often!
Well I'd like to thank all the guys who've sent me pms and e-mails in followup to my original post on this thread.
I'm sure you're all lovely blokes and you'd never treat a lady that way.
I apologise for not making myself a little more clear. I'm a single bloke (well sort of - errrm - well - errrm - that's too complex to explain for now) which means I'm not all that keen on meeting with you.
Sorry, that doesn't do much for me, and I suspect you'd have a bit of a shock if I did turn up. You see I'm well over 6ft tall, I have no tits, stubble on my chin, a hairy chest and a (quite impressive) package in my pants
Not quite what you're seeking, I suspect....
I'm sure you're all lovely blokes and you'd never treat a lady that way.
I apologise for not making myself a little more clear. I'm a single bloke (well sort of - errrm - well - errrm - that's too complex to explain for now) which means I'm not all that keen on meeting with you.
Sorry, that doesn't do much for me, and I suspect you'd have a bit of a shock if I did turn up. You see I'm well over 6ft tall, I have no tits, stubble on my chin, a hairy chest and a (quite impressive) package in my pants
Not quite what you're seeking, I suspect.... 
Sex God
Quote by Lucifer
Well I'd like to thank all the guys who've sent me pms and e-mails in followup to my original post on this thread.
I'm sure you're all lovely blokes and you'd never treat a lady that way.
I apologise for not making myself a little more clear. I'm a single bloke (well sort of - errrm - well - errrm - that's too complex to explain for now) which means I'm not all that keen on meeting with you.
Sorry, that doesn't do much for me, and I suspect you'd have a bit of a shock if I did turn up. You see I'm well over 6ft tall, I have no tits, stubble on my chin, a hairy chest and a (quite impressive) package in my pants
OMG :shock: - Lucifer please tell me you're joking and that this thread hasn't prompted a whole load of guys to send you propositions!!!
(Roger walks off holding his head in his hands praying that it's not true)
Sex God
Quote by rogerthedragon
OMG :shock: - Lucifer please tell me you're joking and that this thread hasn't prompted a whole load of guys to send you propositions!!!
(Roger walks off holding his head in his hands praying that it's not true)
Quote by mattmoleman
Mind you, your hardon is greatly appreciated.
I think I did that in the thread....
Maybe s/he is part of the Sarges next target for PMing people. Just a thought. Or maybe an idea :twisted:
Sex God
Excellent post Lucifer,
guess im lucky ive not had the problems some have had but know all about the pm's and unwanted pvt conversations
NIce to know there is a single chap out there who can understand what the females have to put up with
you been offerred a quick shag or a meal out Lucifer
or shall i say Lucyisupferit
guess im lucky ive not had the problems some have had but know all about the pm's and unwanted pvt conversations
NIce to know there is a single chap out there who can understand what the females have to put up with
you been offerred a quick shag or a meal out Lucifer
or shall i say Lucyisupferit 