have we created this problem?

11 May 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Some of the most crappest threads actually do contribute a lot to this forum - they show people for what they really are..... usually the type of "Crap" tells me whether someone is witty, humourous and someone I could have a laugh and a drink with in real life, or whether they are just a tosser after a fast fuck.

I really share Blue's sentiment on this one. You can tell a lot about a person based on their choice of words and how they relate to the issues discussed. Personally, I have almost used it as a vetting procedure - I have met one person off this forum and the decision to do so had a lot to do with how that person interacted in the forum (e.g. I looked at the said person's profile and checked out his previous posts). It gave me a sense of understanding of other people's personal world view, if that is the correct phrase. The more you trawl th forum, I find, the more you identify those who are just there for what they anticipate would generate fast results.

11 May 2005

Quote by bluexxx
OK, well... seeing as this will be my... wait for it.......11569th post :eeek: I'm probably more guilty than anyone of making lots of crap posts . Of course you will all disagree with that and you will all tell me that every single one of my posts is a masterpiece that contributes without bounds to the everlasting beauty of this forum 8-) 8-) ... WHAT??? You're not going to tell me that.......???/ Let me tell you.... OH YES YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME THAT :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :lol: :lol:
Ha hah hehehehehehehehe

Seriously.... when I found this forum and eventually got up the courage to register and start posting :uhoh: I posted as much as I could on as many threads as I could. In short, I was hooked :silly: . I didn't think much about what I was saying to be honest. I felt I was contributing something, even if it was crap . After what seemed like ages people actually started replying to me and this fuelled my posting even more :uhoh: . After a while I seemed to be making friends, more people were joining that I felt I had things in common with, in all sorts of ways. This was before munches were ever thought of so I wasn't ever anticipating ever meeting more than a few people, and I certainly never anticipated what people might think of me and my posts in real life :haha:
I figure when newbies are over-zealous that they are like me when I first joined..... excited, maybe a bit naive, and certainly meaning no harm :confused: ... then again, things have changed.... I can recognise a few, well more than a few, who post just to get noticed, to get meets ASAP, and to get enough posts to get an invite to a munch :roll: :roll: . This type of behaviour is going to happen. There is nothing we can do to stop it really. Asking questions as Kat says is a good way to intergrate newbies, but only if they want to be intergrated in the ways of REAL forum life :smug: , otherwise we just have to put up with their crap posts til they get bored and move on. Such is life.
I post less in serious threads now, and probably less in the GFZ-type threads too.... so why is my post count spiralling still? :shock: :shock: :shock: I obviously post more than I think I do - maybe I have a sleep-posting problem :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: . But I am more aware what I post now, maybe cos I'm a mod, maybe cos I'm not naive any more, I don't really know :? , but I'm still big headed enough to think that I contribute to this great forum :2fingers: :smug: . Some of the most crappest threads actually do contribute a lot to this forum - they show people for what they really are..... usually the type of "Crap" tells me whether someone is witty, humourous and someone I could have a laugh and a drink with in real life, or whether they are just a tosser after a fast fuck. I wouldn't want the crap posts to stop really, but it's the nature of the crap that is important :confused: .... is anyone still reading? :sleeping:
Anyways, I know what I mean, and before this goes down as one of my all time crappest posts, I'd better stop typing :roll: ..... blimey..... what was the question again?
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yours Blue is probably the most real and spot on reply to this thread. I went through, and still am, the same things. I'm hooked to this site, although I have had a problem with posting on every thread on a forum in the past :? sad

(rather worrying when I think about it :shock: )

11 May 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
can i now ask a question.... is there anyway they we can encourage people that it is quality and not quantity that counts??? or have we gotten to the stage that so many new people want to come to muches and parties that we have created a rod for our own back in that people feel they have to write to become regulars regardless of what is written????????
sean xxxxxxxxx

I'm sorry I haven't read all the posts on this thread but I just wanted to comment on this.
It seems to me that it's not only the newbies who post in quantity... there are many an interesting threads highjacked by well known posters having a little tease at each other with one liners and emoticons thus taking the thread to a different outcome altogether. Yes I know that's the nature of the beast as it were but little quips or in-jokes are as tedious to read as crap posted by newbies wanting "to get noticed".
OK, now am off to read the rest of the posts on this thread ... ta very much for reading my boring post smile

12 May 2005

what is so wrong with one line replies ........some of us dont have all day to sit here posting
i personally dont want to broadcast my private life via a forum
and i dont want to get into heated debates with other members
lifes to bloody short to be moaning all the time

12 May 2005

Quote by little gem
There is not much more we can do to pick this situation apart.
I'm having Deja Vous about this thread with plenty of others I've read over the last week. Can we all just stop whining and post some decent threads now!

Damn right biggrin

At the mo peeps seem so intent on alalyzing whats wrong that there doesnt seem much room for owt else.
As ive been told many times in the past,if you dont like summat,then dont read it!!!!

12 May 2005

Fabio
i love the site
YES i have opinions
YES i ve posted a lot
BUT i am not a moaner nor do i pxxs take others either

12 May 2005

I would find it easier to understand the outrage at peoples posting styles IF we all had an obligation to read each and every post.
With the exception of the mods (who unfortunately DO have to read everything) no one is forced to read anything.
You make the CHOICE to turn on your computer.
You make the CHOICE to start the internet up.
You make the CHOICE to log onto this site.
And you also make the CHOICE to read the threads.
This means that you can pick and chose what threads you want to read. You can even (shock :shock: horror) have a little taster of a thread and leave it without finishing the whole thread, should you find that it is not to your liking.
I like to think of this site like a picâ€nâ€mix sweet counter, there is something for everyone.. but very few people will like the whole selection.
Would you think it was a good idea to write to the managing director of woolworths to complain just because you did not fancy some of the sweets he had in his selection?
Of course not! You would either just select the ones that did appeal to youâ€¦.. or make your choice to buy your confectionary elsewhere.
Its not rocket science.
I am one of the â€œoldiesâ€ who has not posted so much of late, I will however say it is less to do with the â€œnewbiesâ€ and their posting excitement, and much more to do with the nastiness I am seeing being increasingly directed at them.
It does not make for a good atmosphere.. and to be honestâ€¦ thatâ€™s the thing that made this site.

12 May 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
I like to think of this site like a picâ€nâ€mix sweet counter, there is something for everyone.. but very few people will like the whole selection.
Would you think it was a good idea to write to the managing director of woolworths to complain just because you did not fancy some of the sweets he had in his selection?
Of course not! You would either just select the ones that did appeal to youâ€¦.. or make your choice to buy your confectionary elsewhere.
Its not rocket science.
I am one of the â€œoldiesâ€ who has not posted so much of late, I will however say it is less to do with the â€œnewbiesâ€ and their posting excitement, and much more to do with the nastiness I am seeing being increasingly directed at them.
It does not make for a good atmosphere.. and to be honestâ€¦ thatâ€™s the thing that made this site.

Now I love the way youhave compared sh to wollies and i agree that most people would just have a moan to their friends /realtives and go somewhere else for their sweeties. However if i was the MD of Woolworths i would much prefer them to write to me so that i could improve the selection available and not loose the custom of said customer and not have them slagging the selection off to their friends etc!!
All bad customer feedback is enormously important and is an opportunity for services to be improved. Companies like woolies spend a fortune each year to discover how their customer servies/products can be improved, sh is fortunate that its customers (especially old established one like fabio) are giving their opinions without being asked and for free.
Let us hope that someone listens!!

12 May 2005

Feel a bit sad really reading this, :cry: seems to be splitting in to a them and us site. not what it seemed to be when i joined or indeed the reasons why i joined. tolerance is indeed a gift although it can be acheived. People of all walks of life have expressed views etc. a lot of the threads recently have been trivial in my view, but obviously not in others as they have received loads of feedback. Take into account the ages of some of the new members, I have kids same age as some of them and they don't have the social skills yet of say, of a 40 year old (not being ageist) they are light hearted, not a lot worries and are enthusiastic! This shows in their threads and responses. Start your own threads instead of complaining. If you can't beat em join em wink

:love: xxx

12 May 2005

well busty babe & horny hornet
well said ,its about opinions and views not about childish backstabbing

12 May 2005

Quote by hornet harlot
Feel a bit sad really reading this, :cry: seems to be splitting in to a them and us site. not what it seemed to be when i joined or indeed the reasons why i joined. tolerance is indeed a gift although it can be acheived. People of all walks of life have expressed views etc. a lot of the threads recently have been trivial in my view, but obviously not in others as they have received loads of feedback. Take into account the ages of some of the new members, I have kids same age as some of them and they don't have the social skills yet of say, of a 40 year old (not being ageist) they are light hearted, not a lot worries and are enthusiastic! This shows in their threads and responses. Start your own threads instead of complaining. If you can't beat em join em
:love: xxx

i went to bed early and am just catching up with what has been said before i go to work... can i just say that the last thing i ever want this site to be is a case of them and us... if it turns into that then i do believe the site is done for sad

in a way the site has become a victim of it own success in that when i joined i felt i had people to look up to when posting, maybe the newbies dont have that same feel now...
when i posted this the thing i was trying not to do was to bash newbies, which is why i posted the question and hoped you would run with it.... and i am glad that you have!!
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

12 May 2005

Hi Fabio
I know that's not what you meant I think I have a good idea as to what you are like through reading your posts for over a year now, and I know that you put a lot into helping, advising and having a laugh. I think your post was with the desire tio improve things for the site. I read all the posts collectively this morning and that was how they made me feel. see you sat wink

:love: xxx

12 May 2005

Quote by SXBOY
well busty babe & horny hornet
well said ,its about opinions and views not about childish backstabbing

donâ€™t get me wrong. I am not saying that i find constant polls about irrelevant topics stimulating at all. Its just that I defend your right to post them should you wish to do so.

12 May 2005

the location poll, i thought could be interesting for most
and give an over view of where people are
i apologise for the lottery one...that was self indulgent as ive been doing it for nearly 10 years therefore problably 600 or 700 drawa and quids my best
i wondered was it generally the case ?
andy

12 May 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
However if i was the MD of Woolworths i would much prefer them to write to me so that i could improve the selection available and not loose the custom of said customer and not have them slagging the selection off to their friends etc!!

Of course if the argument was about the lack of selection, and that there was NOTHING that appealed to them- then fair enough, they have a valid complaint.
However.. if their argument wasâ€¦ â€œI donâ€™t want to shop in wollies anymore, as I donâ€™t like liquorice allsorts and so want you to stop selling themâ€.. I have no doubt foxy that after a giggle with your secretary you would mentally section that individual to the nearest asylum! lol

Quote by foxylady 123
All bad customer feedback is enormously important and is an opportunity for services to be improved. Companies like woolies spend a fortune each year to discover how their customer servies/products can be improved, sh is fortunate that its customers (especially old established one like fabio) are giving their opinions without being asked and for free.

12 May 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
However if i was the MD of Woolworths i would much prefer them to write to me so that i could improve the selection available and not loose the custom of said customer and not have them slagging the selection off to their friends etc!!

Quote by foxylady 123
All bad customer feedback is enormously important and is an opportunity for services to be improved. Companies like woolies spend a fortune each year to discover how their customer servies/products can be improved, sh is fortunate that its customers (especially old established one like fabio) are giving their opinions without being asked and for free.

It has to be noted that this service is (at least for the â€œcustomersâ€ )free.
I pick up the local FREE paper each morning on the way to work.
I have to admit that I find a lot of it un-interesting, and not as enjoyable as the paper I pay 60p for.
However it has cost me nothing. I did not lose out in anyway.
Instead of looking at the stuff I did not like and complaining about it.. I look at the parts I DO enjoy and thinkâ€¦ ooooh, all this for not a penny!
Then again , if someone wronte to the MD and said, every time i walk through your store t get pestered about the most trivial matters....................................now that should be of some interest.
Im sure your not saying that sh is not as good as a site you would pay for but price or no price it is clear that people do care about sh and arnt prepared to just ignore it faults because they arent paying.
The responses to this and other similar threads is providing very interesting data, i for one would love to see it all collated properly and summerised.

12 May 2005

Ok my tuppence worth...
The site has a posting AUP. If a post contravenes that then our Mods do an excellent job of jumping on it rapidly and pointing out the posters “error”. smackbottom

Nowhere have I read that a person’s contribution to threads should be composed in an intellectual manner, of high quality or should be more than one line or have I missed that somewhere? dunno

Not everyone has the confidence to join in threads, for a number of reasons I’m sure which must include some of the recent activities.
Not everyone is confident to post more than a few lines at first.
The huge danger I can see when I read certain replies here is that we actively discourage NEW posters from “dipping their toes” into the world of posting on SH.
Like a lot of others, when I discovered SH I was, and to a certain extent still am, totally hooked. I started with one line replies to posts and as my confidence grew and I wasn’t savaged by the masses then I began to post a bit more and a bit more until eventually I started a thread of my own!!
Along with the Punctuation Police do we really need a Quality control department? Does that not sound a little bit pretentious? :dunno:
As we all know, everyone’s tastes and intellectual standing is different. What interests or mental stimulates me will not necessarily do the same for another no matter how hard I try to convince them.
I totally agree with Maia and others who say that the way and content of a contributors post does give everyone an insight into the type of person they are and a personal indication of whether or not I’d like to meet with them in real life. There are posters on here I’d love to spend time chatting to and others I wouldn’t give the time of day but hey, that could be me describing work colleagues as well.
As Well Busty Babe put it, the cafÃ© is a bit of a pick and mix. There will be good posts, bad posts and inane drivel.
Take from it what you fancy and be sure to give back a little of yourself and it’ll grow just fine.

12 May 2005

I think it's well known that I am one of the "if you don't like it, don't bloody read it" people, however, at the moment it's near damn impossible to read a thread that has not got stupid, inane responses, or that have topics far from anything to do with an adult swinging site.
It's bollocks - christ knows what it'll be like when the schools break up! The chat room gets bad enough at pub chucking out time and school hols, and a recent increase in knobbers with uni or . accounts - wait until it happens in here as well, which it increasingly looks like has already started.
Fair enough, a certain degree of humour is needed, but so many posts are OT these days, it's hard to find ANY that relate to swinging.................
It seems these days that if a thread starts on a serious topic, or about swinging, it's pretty quickly hijacked - whats all that about ffs! If you can't stay on topic, start yer own bloody threads...........................
I say lock offending posts or delete them, people will soon learn.................

12 May 2005

I reckon we need some kind of peer review mechanism on here to weed out the crap posters. Something like .
Members would then have the ability to reward good posting by gifting karma points to the poster, but also punish those who post badly by taking karma points away. The amount of karma given/removed is proportionate to the amount of karma you have and you're limited as to how many times you can rank someone per day. This stops newbies from going on "karma bombings" and minusing karma all over the place.
Should anyone recieve too much negative karma, they're auto-banned.

12 May 2005

Quote by foxylady 123
Then again , if someone wronte to the MD and said, every time i walk through your store t get pestered about the most trivial matters....................................now that should be of some interest.

But how can choosing to read a post that you do NOT have to read be equated to being pestered???
You see something, you donâ€™t like it, so you leave it.
Its simple.
There is no need to force yourself to read it, so what harm is it being there causing you as an individual.
why should some of the people not liking a certain type of thing stop those that do from having it?
It IS a free site, and its there for a wide range of people.
The point I am making is that different things appeal to different people. So pick out the bits you want.. and leave the rest.
Instead of people complaining about the bits they do not like, be grateful for the parts that you DO like and are getting for FREE.
Its all clear gain the way I am seeing it.
And yes I am differentiating between a free site and a paid for site.
If you feel that on a site you have paid to join that you are not getting what you expected you DO have more cause for complaint.
If on a free site there are things you do not likeâ€¦ you have lost nothing.

12 May 2005

For me personally I find I get out of SH what I put back in. Sometime I enjoy the crap, chatty, no real point to it type posts and sometime I enjoy the more thought provoking threads, all depends on my mood at the time.
Since been here I've also been guilty of judging people by their posts, but about 3 months ago a friend of mine pointed out someone she's rather close to, but judging by his posts which never really made any sense to me I'd never have thought he'd be someone I'd like to know. How wrong I was on that one.
Think I'll continue the way I have been, reading threads I find interesting, comenting when I feel the need and ignoring post that don't appeal. It's what makes ME happy that's important to me.

12 May 2005

Hi.
So, can someone please clarify this for me? Is the Cafe meant for threads only relating to swinging? In that case, does that mean one shouldn't start threads about anything that isn't directly related to swinging itself? It can get quite confusing at times when you are new. biggrin

12 May 2005

at least no ones in danger of taking things too seriously.... rolleyes

on the grand scheme of things, who gives a shit..
karma points......thats good!! christ...

12 May 2005

Quote by Ben1978
at least no ones in danger of taking things too seriously....
on the grand scheme of things, who gives a shit..
karma points......thats good!! christ...

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Thats so me this morning, sorry but life is too short and these type of threads are not helping turn this place into somewhere that is fun to be :roll:

12 May 2005

Quote by Maia
Hi.
So, can someone please clarify this for me? Is the Cafe meant for threads only relating to swinging? In that case, does that mean one shouldn't start threads about anything that isn't directly related to swinging itself? It can get quite confusing at times when you are new.

No Maia, the cafe is meant for all chat, but when we log and and find hardly any swinging related threads amongst all the personal domestic stuff such as the school run, domestic family problems and what's in someone's shopping basket, it does get a tad irritating confused

Moderation is the key to all things. Perhaps it's high time some members, both old and new, could learn how to exercise it.
It's simply not the case where we can ignore a thread if we don't happen to enjoy posts from a particular person/persons.
When some people appear on EVERY thread going with their silly little emoticons or such comments as "oh yeah baby" it does kind of detract from the thread itself, which is annoying if it had been one worth reading beforehand rolleyes

Perhaps we should all sit back and take a breath today and look at our own posting styles. Some people may get a surprise about themselves lol

Tracy-Jayne

12 May 2005

But in all fairness I think most swinging related topics may have already been covered. How does one revive the topic without "The search button is your friend" brigade rushing in?
And if on a swinging site all we talk about is sex doesn't that seem a little tunnel visioned? After all, some people are here to get to know each other.

12 May 2005

Very good point jen biggrin

:D :D

12 May 2005

put a chance of free, easy sex on the internet, make it a free site and what do you think will happen? also realise this is just a website...with a message board for people to chat...lets see how many of you would be willing to pay a subscription fee, because thats the only way to protect your little world from lots of overzealous young bucks looking for a quick shag...
i thought the majority of swingers were in it for more than just swinging, at least thats what you say,but at the end of the day, all i find here is the same old crap you get on every message board, regardless of the subject, people who have been here longer than others take themselves and the whole board far to seriously,which is a shame...and boring as fuck.

12 May 2005

Until now I've never thought about my post count and what I'd written, I just posted what I felt at the time. So having read through this thread I thought I'd go and look at my post count and previous posts.
I think I can be classed as a one line poster at times (ok a lot of the time). Was shocked that a lot of my post have been saying hello to other newbies though. :shock: don't even remember posting half of them.
I haven't as yet posted my own thread (apart from one at the beginning saying hi) as I haven't felt the need to or had anything worth making a point about. Yes there are things that I could have started a thread about but never did simply because what I find interesting/funny probably would bore the pants off most!!!! :grin:
Reading though this thread and others like it that have been posted recently, I find my self a little paranoid though, especially after going though my old posts. redface

I feel I've got to change the way I post but then that would be changing who I am wouldn't it? I'm quite a shy person until I get to know someone hence one liners here and there but as time goes on and I feel more confident no doubt I will contribute more. smile

Mrs CC

12 May 2005

Quote by JudyTV
all i find here is the same old crap you get on every message board, regardless of the subject, people who have been here longer than others take themselves and the whole board far to seriously,which is a shame...and boring as fuck.

Then what is it you find about this particular site that keeps you here. or can we guess at the answer. Perhaps the 'Crap' here is a better quality crap.
Judy
rotflmao

Maybe that's what keeps us all here wink

T-J