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HELP AND ADVICE NEEDED RE STALKER MEMBER
Quote by meat2pleaseu
I think this is a case of learning from your mistakes here Amber, i think if im totally honest (which i am generally), you were a little niave to give this guy so many details about yourself so quickly!!
i have to admit when i first read the post my inital thoughs was why on earth did she give someone she met off a swingers site the name and address of the company she works for her works phone number and works email addy :shock:
i have know people on this site for a number of years and class them as good friends but have still never given them such personal details
i didn't want to mention it tho but seeing as you have lol
But I've got your phone number, been to your house and i know where you work :wink:
ahhh but but but lol
you only have my mobile number, you came to my house to help us help a mutual friend and you only know the company i work for theres about 5 asdas within a few miles of me ;)
And besides that i know your to damn lazy to stalk anyone :lol2:
Quote by Darkfire
show off
hang on you have my number and have been to my house too :shock:
and now every fecker knows who i work for :lol2:
Sex God
Quote by naughtynymphos1
hang on you have my number and have been to my house too :shock:
And he's not the only one :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by naughtynymphos1
ok ok point taken you lot i'll shut up :lol2:
First time for everything I suppose
Not been in this situation on site ( but me, angel, has in outside site life)
So when joined site we set up account for emailing and use a different mobile number ( not our everyday mobile numbers) to avoid this situation.
We chat in room first, then cam and then meet in public for a drink first to see if everyone is genuine and only then do we even consider inviting them to our house........
long process but
Safety and Discretion always
So when joined site we set up account for emailing and use a different mobile number ( not our everyday mobile numbers) to avoid this situation.
We chat in room first, then cam and then meet in public for a drink first to see if everyone is genuine and only then do we even consider inviting them to our house........
long process but
Safety and Discretion always
Sexpert
My knowledge is a little rusty on this but I have worked for vodafone and BT in the past.
To sort your mobile phone number out you need to report the unwanted calls to the police, they will give you a crime number, give this to your service provider and they will change you number (they will not charge for this change due it being a crime preventative matter, some providers may not even ask for a crime number to do it free, vodafone did not charge or ask for one).
For your land line you need to speak to "the malicious calls bureau", They are helpful and sympathetic. Once you have reported the caller if he contacts you 5 further times then they have the authority to contact the police on your behalf as this now contravenes the communications act. I have had many dealings with the bureau (im not on the wrong end) and they are great and helpful. This is a few years since i have dealt with them but I am sure the rules have not changed that much since then.
I would suggest reformatting your computer and buying a reputable anti-everything program, unless, of course, you know that he has not got into your computer. Change email addresses, dont just block him, there are plenty of programs out there that can over ride these and make the blocking procedure worthless. Work can help by just changing you email address by changing your name slightly or adding numbers to the end of your address.
As for the other problems ie following you or coming to your place of work well thats where the 5 guys above might come in handy.
I am sure you have learned your lesson but I am sorry that this has happened, I have heard many horror stories from victims while with BT and Vodafone so my haert does go out to you.
If I can help you more please let me know and I will do what I can to help as, i am sure, any other member here will do too.
Paul
To sort your mobile phone number out you need to report the unwanted calls to the police, they will give you a crime number, give this to your service provider and they will change you number (they will not charge for this change due it being a crime preventative matter, some providers may not even ask for a crime number to do it free, vodafone did not charge or ask for one).
For your land line you need to speak to "the malicious calls bureau", They are helpful and sympathetic. Once you have reported the caller if he contacts you 5 further times then they have the authority to contact the police on your behalf as this now contravenes the communications act. I have had many dealings with the bureau (im not on the wrong end) and they are great and helpful. This is a few years since i have dealt with them but I am sure the rules have not changed that much since then.
I would suggest reformatting your computer and buying a reputable anti-everything program, unless, of course, you know that he has not got into your computer. Change email addresses, dont just block him, there are plenty of programs out there that can over ride these and make the blocking procedure worthless. Work can help by just changing you email address by changing your name slightly or adding numbers to the end of your address.
As for the other problems ie following you or coming to your place of work well thats where the 5 guys above might come in handy.
I am sure you have learned your lesson but I am sorry that this has happened, I have heard many horror stories from victims while with BT and Vodafone so my haert does go out to you.
If I can help you more please let me know and I will do what I can to help as, i am sure, any other member here will do too.
Paul
Sexlightened
Evening,
Thank you so much for all of the kind words expressed in this email. I think that I was clearly too hasty and uncareful with this guy, there was some sort of a 'connection' initially and I generally trust my instincts.
The only reason he had my work email address was because he did some research for me on a new job I have (started today with no sleep whatsoever - not good!!)
He doesn't have my actual 'personal' number - I'm not that silly, but I have two swinging numbers, one for people I trust and another for people I don't trust.
We met in public on the first night, had dinner and it all seemed ok. I had as many personal details about him as he had about me so I think to be honest that I felt 'safe'.
I continued to receive personal emails at work, texts, calls, emails to my SH email address (as in not my personal one). The reason he had my personal one was because I sent him an email with a photo on it and forgot to delete my personal address, he then told me to be careful as to who I sent my emails to as they could check the IP address to see where I lived.
On some levels I have been uber cautious along the way with this situation. I have been logging on in internet cafes to protect my anonymity and my email address and profile have very little info on me, a bad thing as stated in some other threads, but in some cases not so bad.
He kept emailing me and then sent a really Graphic and unpleasant email to my 'amber vixen' email address - i.e. not on here.
I have been approached to give his name by a moderator and I'm going to.
Fast forward to Saturday:
I had been out clubbing the night before and got home at 4 am - end of the week, end of the job etc and I was soooo hungover. I was lying in bed in my underwear thinking about when my head would stop banging around so that I could get up to drink some water and get dressed.
There was a knock at the door, and some male voices, I felt curious but mostly ok as I live with two blokes. Then my flatmate B came up the stairst to tell me that "DDDD" was here, I was like, please tell that f*cking freak to leave. B went downstairs and started to talk to him, I heard a scuffle and this f*cking mofo scum bag cock sucking arse reaming spawn of a pustulant arsehole came barging into my room even though I said (through the door) go away I don't want to see you. He pushed his way into my room while I was trying to get dressed and B was swiftly up the stairs after him.
I WENT FECKING MENTAL - I couldn't even look at him. I told everyone at work what was happening and got walked to the station every night. And here he was in my room after emailing me to say that he would not contact me again and the he knew he had been out of order - YOU THINK!!!!!!
Any way "DDDD" stood there with a bunch of flours and a card. I told him (excuse the language)
Get out of my room and get out of the house. Leave... silence - But amber...
GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE YOU FUCKING FREAK, GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE YOU FUCKING NUT JOB - GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU FUCKING FREAK GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE GET TO FUCK GET TO FUCK
He stood staring at me, blankly and wouldn't leave. B told him if he thought I was being clear and that he ought to leave (bearing in mind he had shoved his way past B to come into the house and up the stairs).
I was totally losing it, but didn't cry. B showed him to the door.
Later B told me that on the stairs he thought this guy was going to kick off, luckily B is a big scottish fella who used to work on doors.
I started to cry, B looked upset and confused and said Sorry Amber he won't get in again...
Then we were sitting chatting looking at the card (sorry mini epic novel) and B was like, he's gone. Silence.... I said I bet he's sitting out side waiting. B suddenly went pale and told me to get up the stairs... I did, this fucking mutant scum sucking whorebag was back at my front door, asking if he could come in and did B think he should wait. I nearly laughed if I hadn't been so petrified.
This freak has not stopped me from enjoying myself but he has taught me to be considerably more careful.
It's made me feel safer to see that I'm not alone and that I can get help.
I emailed him last night and told him that I had a diary, a copy of everything and that if he ever contacted me again in any medium or ever loitered near my work or my house that I would contact the police and have him arrested for harassment.
I also quoted the legislation detailing the sentencing for freaks like him.
No contact since, but he's blocked from all my emails....
Please be careful.
Single chicks need to be careful, don't trust anyone until you've known them for a while.
Thanks so much for all the support and thanks Mino babe for the compliments
Love you all
Amber xxxxx
Thank you so much for all of the kind words expressed in this email. I think that I was clearly too hasty and uncareful with this guy, there was some sort of a 'connection' initially and I generally trust my instincts.
The only reason he had my work email address was because he did some research for me on a new job I have (started today with no sleep whatsoever - not good!!)
He doesn't have my actual 'personal' number - I'm not that silly, but I have two swinging numbers, one for people I trust and another for people I don't trust.
We met in public on the first night, had dinner and it all seemed ok. I had as many personal details about him as he had about me so I think to be honest that I felt 'safe'.
I continued to receive personal emails at work, texts, calls, emails to my SH email address (as in not my personal one). The reason he had my personal one was because I sent him an email with a photo on it and forgot to delete my personal address, he then told me to be careful as to who I sent my emails to as they could check the IP address to see where I lived.
On some levels I have been uber cautious along the way with this situation. I have been logging on in internet cafes to protect my anonymity and my email address and profile have very little info on me, a bad thing as stated in some other threads, but in some cases not so bad.
He kept emailing me and then sent a really Graphic and unpleasant email to my 'amber vixen' email address - i.e. not on here.
I have been approached to give his name by a moderator and I'm going to.
Fast forward to Saturday:
I had been out clubbing the night before and got home at 4 am - end of the week, end of the job etc and I was soooo hungover. I was lying in bed in my underwear thinking about when my head would stop banging around so that I could get up to drink some water and get dressed.
There was a knock at the door, and some male voices, I felt curious but mostly ok as I live with two blokes. Then my flatmate B came up the stairst to tell me that "DDDD" was here, I was like, please tell that f*cking freak to leave. B went downstairs and started to talk to him, I heard a scuffle and this f*cking mofo scum bag cock sucking arse reaming spawn of a pustulant arsehole came barging into my room even though I said (through the door) go away I don't want to see you. He pushed his way into my room while I was trying to get dressed and B was swiftly up the stairs after him.
I WENT FECKING MENTAL - I couldn't even look at him. I told everyone at work what was happening and got walked to the station every night. And here he was in my room after emailing me to say that he would not contact me again and the he knew he had been out of order - YOU THINK!!!!!!
Any way "DDDD" stood there with a bunch of flours and a card. I told him (excuse the language)
Get out of my room and get out of the house. Leave... silence - But amber...
GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE YOU FUCKING FREAK, GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE YOU FUCKING NUT JOB - GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU FUCKING FREAK GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE GET TO FUCK GET TO FUCK
He stood staring at me, blankly and wouldn't leave. B told him if he thought I was being clear and that he ought to leave (bearing in mind he had shoved his way past B to come into the house and up the stairs).
I was totally losing it, but didn't cry. B showed him to the door.
Later B told me that on the stairs he thought this guy was going to kick off, luckily B is a big scottish fella who used to work on doors.
I started to cry, B looked upset and confused and said Sorry Amber he won't get in again...
Then we were sitting chatting looking at the card (sorry mini epic novel) and B was like, he's gone. Silence.... I said I bet he's sitting out side waiting. B suddenly went pale and told me to get up the stairs... I did, this fucking mutant scum sucking whorebag was back at my front door, asking if he could come in and did B think he should wait. I nearly laughed if I hadn't been so petrified.
This freak has not stopped me from enjoying myself but he has taught me to be considerably more careful.
It's made me feel safer to see that I'm not alone and that I can get help.
I emailed him last night and told him that I had a diary, a copy of everything and that if he ever contacted me again in any medium or ever loitered near my work or my house that I would contact the police and have him arrested for harassment.
I also quoted the legislation detailing the sentencing for freaks like him.
No contact since, but he's blocked from all my emails....
Please be careful.
Single chicks need to be careful, don't trust anyone until you've known them for a while.
Thanks so much for all the support and thanks Mino babe for the compliments
Love you all
Amber xxxxx
