Tell your phone operators about the calls and keep the emails, suggest telling him you're going to contact the police if he doesn't back off.
Get the Police involved if he doesnt back off...
If he persists in hassling you via the site keep all pm's sent and report him to a mod....
Amber excellent advice from both previous posts.
If the person will not stop even after being told point blank NO. Plus persists with all the calls/texts and emails you will have to contact the police there are laws in place for harrasement.
As previously stated warn him as/when or if he gets in touch again by text/call or email if he fails to respect the fact you no longer want anything to do with him.
Then if he fails to observe your wishes follow through by reporting him to the police.
If you have kept any text messages so much the better should you need to take the drastic action.
Totally agree if he continues giving you grief via the site Mallock is right keep any pm's and report to mod/Op or admin directly.
Know how you feel right now and you are right to go with your 'gut instinct' concerning other people you meet.
I have meet a couple of different people and then felt something wasn't quite right and gently backed off from them. Fortunately I've been lucky not to end up where you are now.
For every one person like that there are at least 10 genuine good people out there.
:smile2:
Hey guys,
Thanks for the advice. I'm speaking to a friend from SH online at the mo and he says to warn this guy off me and that if he doesn't back off that I'll contact the police.
And that if he doesn't back off to go and contact the police.
Because of the brevity of time from normal to freak - it seems I'm over reacting. After showing some colleagues the texts etc and describing the guy as a 'date' they are all freaked out and telling me to contac the police.
I have all texts / emails etc stored.
I also took a copy of the letter he sent me today at work and emailed it to some close work friends.
I'm not put off - just concerned.
Thanks for the fast and as always speedy help.
I'm learning ,but as a single female you CANNOT BE TOO CAreful
AAAAh
Ambver xxxxxx
Amber, good luck with it, sadly been there myself with a guy I hadn't even met. He managed to hack into my computer, and send pornographic emails to everyone I knew including the Personnel Department at work, he found my home address via my computer and insisted on sitting outside the house, and this was all in the space of about 18 months (hope this doesn't make you feel worse, at least you are nipping it in the bud!!).
I ignored it to start off with because he was 'harmless' and I hadn't even MET him! It was all hassle beyond belief, and grief no one should have to tolerate. So take it from an experienced bod, if it goes on much longer, and he still doesn't seem to be taking the hint, go to the police and deal with it. The police originally advised me not to 'Prod a cornered lion, cos we don't know what he's capable of' so I left it and hoped he would get bored. Don't take anything like that from the police cos he well and truly wrecked my life and my job for the sake of some sick satisfaction. I wish I'd dealt with it before I became an obsession to him.
There are some odd bods out there, and sadly it seems the single fems on here attract them, but keep hopeful, I've met some really lovely, special people on here, and other sites, and would never give that up for anyone, no matter what the police said about 'avoiding the internet'. No one person is going to win, or to make me change any of my behaviour, but I'm glad you are taking it seriously so soon. You have several routes to choose, and everyones advice has been excellent. Good luck with it, and fingers crossed it stops soon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent you a pm Amber.
Advice is to take it to the police, they should guide you down the correct route and get the matter sorted quite quickly.
It does make you wonder why people feel the need to behave in that way, life is too short.
Hiya Amber,
I had a similar problem with my electrician... we had never been intimate (to his displeasure) and he clearly knew where I lived as he had done the house re-wire.
Contact the police... simple as that. It is the only way to nip it in the bud..... do it straight away. Waiting only tells him that there is so much that he can get away with before you bring in "the cavalry". The police deal with things quickly and concisely.
splendid
x x
all great advice given........
one thing i would add to it........
Get yourself a little diary..... put in dates and times of every e-mail, texts and every time he follows you, every little "gift" and card he sends.......
basically if you take it to the police....and he doesn't stop, they can use it as evidence........
keep your chin up hunny.... not all us single guys are like this.... you have just been very unlucky and i hope it doesn't put you off.......
sean xxxxx
i would also give the advice of be very careful the information you give out to someone
this guy knew your sh mobile, your work mobile, your work email, your address, where you worked, far too much info honey especially as you say it was brief from ok guy to nutjob.
keep your personal life personal hun for a good while at least
Earthy xx
a few years ago I used to have a website featuring mature women in lingerie. It was all innocent clean fun with no porn. It was run by a guy who ran several other similar sites.
We had never met him as he lived a long way away.
He did a good job and the site was successful. However , a couple of the women said that in their e mails with him he seemed to know a bit of about our swinging fun and we thought that one of us had told him.
We had a meeting to sort it out as by now we were starting to argue a bit. so 5 wives and husbands met at ours . it was soon obvious that it wasnt one of us so we decided to have our computers checked by a specialist .
He found that two computers had been hacked and not only did the hacker have access to our private pics but also got our e mails !.
The PCs belonged to the only two woman that had been sent CDs with slide shows of thier galleries set to music , by the webmaster ! we had the CDs checked and found a buried program in them which gave the webmaster total took advice from the police who said they wouldnt be able to trace him but if we could get any clues to pass them on and they would take very firm action.
One of the husbands hatched a plot, his wife started flirting with him by mail , and eventually in order to receive some of her used underwear he gave his address.!!!
we went straight to the police who contacted the guys local force immediately by phone and asked them to follow it up.
On that evening they went and had a "word" with him. Our site promptly disapeared
and to this day his other sites havent been updated. we never heard from him again.
The husbands had a boys night out soon after, very suspicious as none of them would let on where they had been or what they had got up to.
we have never found out......cant help wondering if they went for a "word" too.
long story I know, but the gist of it is.... go to the police.......( and tell some male friends )
I can't add anything to the advice already given about dealing with the guy but I feel SH Admin should investigate and if proven this person should NOT be a member of this site. People like that may move on to target someone else...and bearing in mind the coroner gave his verdict today in the case of that girl who worked at Harvey Nicks was stalked and eventually shot. Take no chances!!
Amber, I've been stalked in the past not from SH but by an ex and take lots of precautions with ppl I meet online. I still gets guys telling me how I 'know' they're not a nutter so I should let them come to my house. NO exceptions is my rule. For how quickly some people can change, I recommend no single lady liiving by herself accomodates. I have a pay as you go mobile that is not linked to anything and is used solely for SH; I don't give out my email either. I also no longer do quick meets after a couple of dodgy experiences.
Hope some of that helps in any future meets you might arrange
:therethere:
was going to say if you can send a solicitorsletter by way of warning do so but has already been suggested.
why the 1 spoils the fun for the many, what is it a small minority of mens and to be fair women to that they think they have a right after 1 or 2 good meetings they have a right to control what that person will do in the future.
sad sad sad
I know this is only a minor thing and wont help you but maybe you should send some of the emails and his name to a site mod, not sure where the site rules stand on this but i'm sure hes not the type of person any of us want as a member and if he can do it to you he can easily move on to another women when he finally gets you message.
As for what you can do, its a very difficult situation and its easy to say go to the police but i think they would look very dimly on you situation seeing as you met him on a sex site :shock: worth a try tho can't make matters any worse, i would just get new mobile numbers and a new email account and carry on ignoring him, he'll get bored in the end
The one thing I would say is take back the power.....dont let him have control over you or your emotions.....
This must be really hard for you...and i second what has been said, you must take this to the Police if he persists in stalking you....
Let us know how it goes!!
