Thanks to the members that are doing there best to help newbies.I myself have needed and is still needing help on many things such as...how do i go about meeting people and when i get therer what do i do then .i.e i can be a bit shy until i get horny.
Cheers anyway for the help so far
Hi all
I'm a relative newbie. I was on here under another ID but i attracted a number of creepy stalkers so the administrators kindly removed my ID and I was able to re-register.
What I would like to say is - be very careful what you put in your ads, in fact it maybe very worthwhile getting to know people via the forum before you put an ad on at all.
It may seem quite exciting putting an ad together and posting to the internet but just be very aware that you may get some very unwanted attention.
The forum is an excellent place to get to know people. Just look through some of the existing topics and you will see that there is a real sense of community in here and people are more than willing to give help and advice. It is up to you whether you heed such advice. I can only say on a personal note that I wish I had spent more time in the forum and never posted an ad at all.
My biggest regret is that I missed the North West munch.
I am one half of a couple on here, my partner is less inclined to meet people than I am, so I could not attend without him.
I think events like the munch seem an excellent idea.
So - let's all be careful out there
Love, Alex x
Well thanks very much Steve. I'd say what my ID was previously, but if I did that in here it would defeat the object! lol
Love, Alex
Hey Steve - I just saw you are from Stoke.
Well ducks, I used to work in Hartshill until a couple of years ago.
yikes that is close... not at the hospital by any chance?
steve
hi im paul 31 from nw london, cor blimey guvnor its brass monkeys out there, ive just come back from the battle cruiser where i got a bit oliver twist thats all the mockney im doing for ya today guvnor anyhow back to reality , im also a newbie and the forum seems a good way of meeting and interacting with people i had a nice chat with bono from u2 on here earlier otherwise known as andy,,, i hopefully will be attending the munch in the "smoke" so see you there.
in the meantime any advice from you experienced peeps would be very appreiacted ............paul im seeking some fun n games with ladies or couples
Hiya again Paul
I think you're learning pretty fast already, luv.
Alex x
Mal... perhaps include a list of commonly used abbreviations....
for instance what is pmsl... see it in Chatroom...
Gmanxxx
hi lucy,
sorry to hear you've had a hard time. i've just posted a reply on 'hey i am new here' about men looking for women. this is exactly what i mean about single guys needing a PR makeover, what can we do????
hope you get what your looking for.
cheers
bed head.
...think i'd better have a look at your ad......
"behaviour" file from my group.
Says it all ?
Don't know about ads, pathalogical aversion to making future arrangements means i don't reply.....seen too many honeytraps in the past.
*************
Credits:
Taken from a variety of other sites and also from discussion with doggers and couples.
First part: Description and general advice.
******************************************************************
Dogging is the broad term used to cover all the sexual outdoor activities that go on.
This can be anything from putting on a show from your car, to a gangbang on a picnic
table. It all depends on what you're looking for. Dogging involves exhibitionism and
voyeurism and this combination goes hand in hand. The voyeurs are mainly men and
the exhibitionists are mainly couples or women who love to attract attention and often
invite people to join in. Dogging is predominently something us British enjoy, the
open air, countryside and car parks! Apparently the Belgians, French and Italians do it
but not as obsessively as us Brits!
If you're thinking of going dogging for the first time, read these tips below. The tips
on this page are mainly aimed at couples trying dogging for the first time. The tips are
split into three sections, before, during and after the meet. If you're a single male, all
the advice I've been given for males simply says, "be polite", don't be pushy and only
do things you are invited to do. All the couples said that allowing males to join
depended on how clean, polite and non-pushy the males were.
Before the meet
Talk about it - If it's your first time dogging, then you need to talk about what you're
looking to get out of it. It's easy for partner to get confused about how far to go. Talk
to each other, decide what you're both comfortable doing, the last thing you want is to
overstep your partners boundaries.
Be prepared - It's helpful if you put together a small washing bag containing condoms
(if the males haven't brought any), wet wipes and deodorant. These are just a few
things, which will make the meet go easier. Another thing, which is helpful, are the
business cards you get out of the machines you find at service stations. A simple card
with your swinging names, email address and even your mobile number will come
in handy.
Advertising - Dogging can be a bit hit and miss, sometimes you can spend hours at a
location and see no action at all. The way round this is to advertise on the dogging
board. When you advertise, don't advertise the location you're going to or what time
you're going. This will result in a mass of single men waiting for you, I've heard of
this happening and the couple turned up to a group of 25 single men, way too many.
All you need to include is the county you wish to meet in and the date of the meet.
Then simply ask people to email you about the meet. Once you have the emails, you'll
be able to choose who you want, and email them the details of the actual location and
time. This should stop you being swamped.
During the meet
Safety - Before you arrive, make sure you move your bag / purse / wallet / anything
valuable to a safe place like the glove box, it sounds silly, but would you want
someone to know your full name and address? Lock all the doors from the inside, this
will stop unwelcome visitors and keep you in control of what goes on.
Signals - There's loads of signals that doggers use, the most common are flashing
lights, and these could be interior or exterior lights. This basically means they're
doggers. Leaving the internal light on basically means we want to be watched. If they
wind down the window, this means they want to fondle / be fondled or more. If they
want more, they tell you. Most doggers start with a show for the guys and then go
further once they've picked the males that interest them. There are many more signals
but most of these are really obvious, like flashing.
Too many males - If you're presented with the problem of too many males, the easiest
thing to do is just ask them to back off. Most will comply with no problems, some
don't. If they don't and can't take the message, simply say your going because of "that
pushy bastard". Often the males watching will help remove the knobs, simply because
they don't want their fun spoilt. If it's too much for you, just drive off.
After the meet
Ending it - A simple thank you to all the males that watched or took part in the fun is
all that's needed. Everyone will get the idea and say their goodbyes.
Cleaning up - A lot of the dogging locations are based around picnic or other public
areas. Please make sure that any condoms or used tissues are put in the bin, or taken
with you. Please do not litter, leaving used condoms around is a sure way of getting
the area closed at night by the local council and isn't very nice for normal users of the
area.
Keeping in touch - Remember those business cards, well if you find someone you'd
like to meet again, you can give them your card to keep in touch if you want to.
Leaving - On heading home, make sure you do not take the direct route, go for a drive
around for a little while. Just make sure that nobody has followed you home.
Talk - After it's done, you'll be high on the feeling; this is a good time to talk about
what just happened. What you liked, what you didn't, what you want to do next time.
As with all types of swinging, talking is the way to safeguard your relationship,
remember that your relationship is far more important than a couple of hour's fun.
Second part:
DO'S and DO-NOTS
*****************************************************************
Don't drive about looking in every car, it pisses people off big time.
If you need lights to figure out what's going-on in a parked car at night,
you have BIG problems. NO couples are going to carry-on with a cars lights blinding them.
It also scares-off potential shows.
Too many cars driving about means the law will get an interest.
Don't creep-up on cars, if you think they are in for a show
let them see you first.
If they aren't up for it they'll drive off.
If they are and you creep-up on them you'll scare the woman (more likely
the bloke though, in which case the woman will give you a kicking,
masochism is optional)
this is a dark car park/park we're talking about, not a lounge.
I'D get scared if someone crept up behind me
Sign Language: Flashing brake lights are for gays.
Couples drive in and flash the internal lights mainly, then the heads
if they see you.
Players usually park facing where people are, or are going to be.
Non-playing couples park with the back of the car hiding them from people.
Too many people just drive in and out of locations with little interest in
waiting, and as a result they annoy some and scare others.
Players don't like attending parties creeping-up on them from behind. Be
seen, do a walk about so they can see you and move closer in passing.
If they aren't players then you have no hope anyway.
If they are and you scare them, they may not BE players for much longer.
Be patient.
Remember: No couples, no dogging, no doggers.
The WOMAN in the party is in command.
NO means NO, STOP means STOP.
If you don't UNDERSTAND this, then dogging ISN'T for YOU.
The name of this game is FUN.
*** And if all you can do is drive in-and-out all night, go to a supermarket instead ***
Eraserhead - what a superb & relatively unknown David Lynch film....
Sorry - completely off topic but had to say that !!
I certainly feel that us newbies, quaint name, makes this 41 year iold feel like a teenager again, need some coaching on how to become involved properly in these discussions and how to fit in. It does seem in the main that a few eloquent people provide the abundance of conversation. As one never short of things to say, i would appreciate any hints or introductions that would make me feel welcomed and wanted ( oh boy my insecurity complex raises its head).
Certainly as a male it would seem that the numbers are stacked against you. So few females, so many males. It seems obvious to reply to an advertisement is like playing russian roulette. Was it 66 replies a sweet lady mentioned in a couple of days. At my one finger typing that works out to be about a month if i was reply to everybody. So i suppose if i do respond i shouldn't feel unhappy if i dont get a reply. Oh dear i can already see the hard road ahead.
Anyway enough of my rambling. Ill come to the point. I seek a COACH who can develop my etiquette and communication style tio become a worthy contributor in these forums.
Hello Northeastmale - and welcome to SH!
I'd say that from your post you are more than qualified to join in on the forum - you have something constructive to say! The only etiquette to observe is to remain respectful and polite; maintain a sense of humour and join in! Everyone is welcome to add their two pennorth to a thread whether it's a serious debate or general socialising. I will only add that the more you post and get to know us, the easier it becomes. Of course we also get to know you!
We're a friendly group and welcome everyone - so please, pull up a chair and grab a drink. It's a madhouse at times but it's fun!
Have fun in the forum!
Sappho xxx
Well thanks for the welcome Sappho. Its nice to know somebody out there sees what i have to say. Also it seems that i've preparted myself completely. I must be psychic because i've already pulled up my chair, got this god foresaken machine plugged in, haven't yet crashed and have my christmas cracker hat on my head ready for fun and conversation. By fun i assure you i mean, in a humorous, intelligent verbal form ... once i find my feet in here i will warn my new friends (hoping i make a few) when im ready to put my foot on the accelerator, jump out of my cocoon, and go for FUN in the capital letter sense. Alas as im known in other circles for being loud and chatty once i get into conversation and debate i may forget all about any other requirements.
Now somebody help me out. This site is called swinging heaven, so why do so many of the 'SINGLE' guys say they are looking for SINGLE women, in my book thats not swinging, thats dating, or have i got this whole thing wrong.
Finally thank again for your kind words, and do i come across as i have verbal diareha . Pardon my descriptive words and crap spelling (oops)
I think northeast male has hit the nale on the head. I have two ads on here that are for single female and couples witch I thought this was all about not just the sexual side but the social side of swinging. Please someone tell me Im right or the teddy goes out the pram again.
ps sorry I never could spell.
Swinging isn't just sexual liaisons to many, as witness the Cafe. Real friendships are forged here and there is a lot of socialising. However, like any social activity, it has to be worked at by joining in and getting to know people.
Not everyone wants to forge relationships as a swinger. (I use that term in the sense of social interaction and acquaintance as opposed to romance and monogamous commitment.) Those who prefer not to get to know people socially will happily swing with strangers at one off meets, at clubs and through dogging. Others prefer to keep their friendships and sexual partners separate entirely. Some will only swing with people they have got to know and like and respect. I am one of the latter.
Surely you get out of swinging what you put into it? In the case of the single male, purely because they tend to out number single women by four to one, I would suggest they are more likely to meet women and couples by becoming known through a medium like the forum or the chatroom.
Sappho xxx
I'll just add the male perspective to Sappho's excellent advice: she's right, you know. All of my best experiences have been a result of getting to know people, and letting them get to know me.
I have to say that there is also a problem in that sometimes the friendships become so strong that it does get in the way of swinging.
I will give you an example...
Just recently I was stood there - 1 item of clothing on - with the delectable lady in front of me - in the perfect position in the love swing - with the flimsiest of barriers between us and I was as sober as a judge.............
What on earth possessed me to stop and turn away at that moment without the first thought of ripping off what remained of our clothing other that the deepest of feeling for the friendship I have for her and the respect she deserves from me? As well as the respect I have for a couple that we spend so much time with and think so much of even though they were not there at the time....
Was I just dreaming?
Was I a fool?
Nope! on both counts......
Did she expect or want something to happen - I have not got a F**king igloo! I am so crap at reading signals that She could have had "Shag me" written accross the front of her panties (and very nice they were as well - Brown and lacy if I remember right!) and I would have misread it for "Shop me"!
:doh: sometimes I even stun myself!
Would I swap it for a quick shag and no feeling - NEVER! - There are some poeple on here I respect more than people I have known for years and yet I have never met them or only met them briefly!
Fred
been here a few days now - and not really getting any response - anyone got any tips?
all i want is a shag - fems/cpls - how does it all work
and yes.....it has been a long time
'.
awaiting me !
:? but I will try to reply to all the emails :roll:
