Hello Roger,
The subject of success and lack of it has been debated many times here in the cafe and in Let's Meet Up, and the consensus generally seems to be that while ads, especially well-written ones, have their place, there is no substitute for becoming a regular here in the Forum.
I believe that a number of the single men who post here on a regular basis either do not have ads or have deleted them because they prefer to become known here, and from becoming known to us, meets inevitably follow. Similarly, our munches and social gatherings generate a lot of contact.
From a single woman's point of view, I have never answered an ad, but from having got to know various members of the Forum, I have had meets with men I have come to regard as good friends. Similarly there are members I have not yet met but would like to (no, gentlemen, I will not be providing a list!).
Great friendships are bred from the forum with people you may never have met ordinarily, so I can only suggest to you, and to anyone else new here, get to know us; let us get to know you and the meets will happen.
Roger, please do not dispair - we may seem a little mad at times, but there are a number of very genuine and very sexy people here who I am proud to have got to know, and who will wish to get to know you.
Wishing you all success,
Sappho xxx
I'd agree with all of the above Roger. Coming to the forum as a 23 year old single male was quite daunting but I'm glad I did. I deleted my ad almost as soon as I put it up because I thought there was no way it would ever stand out.
However, getting to know people on the forum has been great. We can all have a laugh together and ultimately I think I've made the best choice.
Don't give up!
Hi Roger
Welcome to the SH Forum :welcome:
I agree with all the above. Join in with the madness in the Forum and allow the people here to get to know you. Friendships will soon develop.
Good Luck !!
:welcome:
Do join, the natives are mostly friendly.
:welcome:
Hi Roger,
Echo all of the above!!!
So sorry you are feeling a bit down about the lack and quality of responses you have received. :therethere:
Please be assured that if you join in the forum banter you will soon have many friends.
Love, hugs and big wet girlie kisses
Wilma
x x x x
Stick in there Roger...you will find the forum a warm and welcoming place (mainly)...have fun, get to know the folks here and you will get lucky, at least on the friendship front if nothing else!
Wilma, your new signature...it fills me with anticipation!!! See you soon hun'
Stu of the "fran and variety"
Welcome Roger.... all of the above is so very true.... good peeps, I look fwd to meeting many in person .....they have been so welcoming
cheers guys
Gmanxxx
Hi Roger,
I am with all of the above but there is just one other think that I think either Blue or Mal put in another post.... meeting is a by product from participating in the forum - Have fun and enjoy the forums like DJohn says.
Tang
No DJohn, you are not crazy. Many of us feel the same. The fun and friendship in the Forum are rewards in themselves. Anything else is a wonderful bonus - and is likely to happen when you least expect it.
Awwwwww Eager
See we told you didnt we?
You register on here for one thing and find the site and find you stay for something completely different.
Well maybe not completely!
Hugs, Alex! x
Hi Roger
A couple of observations from the Rural Correspondent:
I've trained dogs for a long time: when choosing pups I would never opt for the one that flounced around barking and prancing; I would never choose the pup that sulked in the corner with its tail between its legs; I always chose the one that looked intelligent, quietly confident and seemd happy to wait his turn to be picked up.
I've watched women for a long time: I've come to the conclusion that they employ similar criteria.
Just be yourself mate; the good people on this site are as sharp as needles and will sort crap from custard pdq
Welcome aboard
A.
Am with you Will ... building of friendships is most important... I do appreciate kind things said ( and occasionally good humoured piss take) I sincerely feel at home ... so cum one cum all.... dive in the water is truely lovely...
and I have only been registered for a fortnight.... some say I should have been so years ago...
Gmanxxx
Oh how I sympathise with you Roger. Like you, I've joined other swingers sites, placed adverts, chatted in the chatrooms and posted on the forums.
Result: Diddly squat!!!
I've come to the conclusion that most of the members are either couples looking for other couples and single blokes looking for women. THERE ARE VERY FEW SINGLE WOMEN ON THESE SITES.
Sadly, there are far greater numbers of men looking for women than women looking for men.
My honest advice for regular sex would be to go and see an escort (prostitute). That's what I do. It serves a purpose but that's where it stops.
(In fact there are some prostitutes advertising on this site but won't tell you that until after you've made contact with them)
The very few single blokes on these types of sites that get anywhere would probably 'pull' even if they went down to the pub. These are the lucky ones, with good looks, some good chat-up lines, we've all seen them in action haven't we?
Ladies and couples looking for single fellas - PROVE ME WRONG!
Hufkin...
I feel I must take issue here fella... I have met some lovely ladies from this site.
Maybe your expectations that they should drop them on first meeting are a bit high?
Sorry to be so negative but what are you expecting?
Day1: Post ad
P + 1 hour: 2 responses but dont like the look of them
P + 4 hour: More responses ... Review and
Move to final selection process and shag ......
Tang
"I feel I must take issue here fella... I have met some lovely ladies from this site.
Maybe your expectations that they should drop them on first meeting are a bit high?"
Not at all Tang, but I would expect to at least have some replies to emails from other members.
This goes for every swingers site that I've joined I'm afraid, including this one (in fact the only reply I did get from this site was from a prostitute posing as a swinger)
Also, it isn't very encouraging to find forum threads with subjects such as Knitting Patterns, Harry Potter Cloaks and What Sex is a computer? It's all very well having a diverse and interesting forum but come-on!!!
I make no apologies for seeing as I find. If you read through most of the posts on the first page, you'll see that other members are agreeing with what Roger has said, as I do too.
Sgt Bilko, firstly, thanks for last weeks welcome. Yes, I am a new member on this site but when I said that my results had been very poor I was talking in general terms about all the sites I have joined, not just this one.
As I said above, NO, I do not expect women to be banging at my door, but would at least expect my emails to be answered, just common courtesy I'd have thought.
I am not surprised that this swingers site is dominated by couples, this is true for all swingers sites, I was trying to explain this fact to to Roger.
With regard to the prostitute that I found on this site, I am reluctant to PM a moderator because they have my name and home address.
Think I just have to post a comment here to Huffkin and to others.
It seems to me that if you come on here and expect it to be a super duper high-speed, no-holds-barred, instant-gratification dating website, and all for free, then you are going to be disappointed.
In fact, what you will probably find if you take that approach is that it is just like any other dating website, or any other walk of life. Women get inundated with messages and even if they start out with good intentions, they quickly find the easiest thing is to ignore most of them.
If you are a single guy, relax, it is not about you, it is not about this site, it is not about the internet. It is just life. The same thing happens up and down the country in pubs and clubs all the time. Women get hit on by men, in large numbers and often in inept ways. Its not really surprising that many of them learn to just tune it out.
If anyone knows a solution to this, a lot of us, men and women too, would like to know.
Red Baron
(PS. Sorry if this is coming over as negative or depressing. I am actually trying to be helpful. I'm just trying to say that this phenomenon is not special to this site, or even to the internet versus real life, and you have to understand the problem before you can tackle it.)
).
). But I'm not at all depressed about that, and I consider my time here to be a success. Why? Because the forum is fun in itself.
It's true...I came here with one thing on my mind, and though there is still really just the two things now, it makes a nice change.