hiya
i'm sure this must have been asked before but how do u go about finding a partner who is also into the swinging scene. I'm in a vanilla relationship and know there is no chance of introducing him to the scene - believe me he would rather boil his balls then do anything slighty kinky!!!!
I'm in a pickle really cos i want to be in a so called 'normal' relationship but i also want the freedom of fun filled sex with friends - how do i go about getting the best of both worlds?
Runtie
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how do u find a partner into swinging
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Sex God
Quote by runtie
hiya
I'm in a vanilla relationship and know there is no chance of introducing him to the scene - believe me he would rather boil his balls then do anything slighty kinky!!!!
Runtie
But your profile says 'single'
I think if you are looking for another partner, honesty maybe the first step. I realise you have been honest here but not everyone is a forum user. If they do a search of profiles, yours says 'single' which you quite clearly arent.
Sex God
Quote by runtie
fair point - was single when did profile but have updated profile to reflect current situation. None the less would still like to be in a relationship with someone who accepts swinging scene so how do i go about finding someone - is it possible?
Updating the profile was a sound move
I think anything is possible but wether or not you will find it is another matter.
I think you will probably get lots of advice here telling you to go to munches/socials and get yourself known etc.
Good luck Runtie
Quote by runtie
fair point - was single when did profile but have updated profile to reflect current situation. None the less would still like to be in a relationship with someone who accepts swinging scene so how do i go about finding someone - is it possible?
Of course it is the sites full of men......
Sex God
Hi Runtie, this is a little difficult because I am not 100% sure what you are looking to do. Do you want to end your existing relationship and find a new partner who swings, or are you looking for ways of persuading your existing partner? Either way, honesty is going to be the best policy, and if you are looking to persuade someone, be aware that it could go very wrong.
We had been together for ages before swinging was even mentioned. We had a brilliant relationship and great sex and often talked about our fantasises to each other. We dabbled a little with some very close friends of ours (soft, same room fun, not swaping or joining in with each other) but after a while decided it wasnt really our thing. We always a 'thing' about being caught or someone watching, and one night we were out in the car, being very naughty when we realised we were being watched! As it happens we had decided to have our naughty fun where we have later found out, is a well known dogging location. We didnt even know what dogging was!!!
This got us interested again, and then we found this site, found out what dogging was and took it from there. We are now starting to venture more into the 'conventional' swinging (if there is such a thing) but it has taken us a long time, and a lot of talking to get this far.
Which one of us suggested it? Probably me (the gobby one) but if at anytime I ever felt he was doing it for me, or me for him, it would stop! Our relationship comes before any fun, but to be honest, I/we have been lucky and so far it has only made what I think of as a brilliant marriage, even better.
There are a few people on here who have met via the site and have fantastic relationships, a lot of whom were not here to look for anything more, but I really don't think you can rely on a swinging site to find you a partner/relationship, it is more something which happens by accident. Have you tried Heaven Dating?
Whichever path you choose, I can only say good luck, but I would add, dont rush in. Carefully think about what you want from life and remember, swinging and naughty fun, is only a very small percentage of your life. If every other aspect of the relationship is good, is it worth risking it for sex????
Sorry to go on but anyone who knows me will agree that I never use 10 words when 100 will do better
We had been together for ages before swinging was even mentioned. We had a brilliant relationship and great sex and often talked about our fantasises to each other. We dabbled a little with some very close friends of ours (soft, same room fun, not swaping or joining in with each other) but after a while decided it wasnt really our thing. We always a 'thing' about being caught or someone watching, and one night we were out in the car, being very naughty when we realised we were being watched! As it happens we had decided to have our naughty fun where we have later found out, is a well known dogging location. We didnt even know what dogging was!!!
This got us interested again, and then we found this site, found out what dogging was and took it from there. We are now starting to venture more into the 'conventional' swinging (if there is such a thing) but it has taken us a long time, and a lot of talking to get this far.
Which one of us suggested it? Probably me (the gobby one) but if at anytime I ever felt he was doing it for me, or me for him, it would stop! Our relationship comes before any fun, but to be honest, I/we have been lucky and so far it has only made what I think of as a brilliant marriage, even better.
There are a few people on here who have met via the site and have fantastic relationships, a lot of whom were not here to look for anything more, but I really don't think you can rely on a swinging site to find you a partner/relationship, it is more something which happens by accident. Have you tried Heaven Dating?
Whichever path you choose, I can only say good luck, but I would add, dont rush in. Carefully think about what you want from life and remember, swinging and naughty fun, is only a very small percentage of your life. If every other aspect of the relationship is good, is it worth risking it for sex????
Sorry to go on but anyone who knows me will agree that I never use 10 words when 100 will do better
You need to prioritise what's important here... I would say you're new relationship. It's not fair on him to be leading the lifestyle if he's not aware of it (I wouldn't anyway, in my opinion).
You may have to sacrifice swinging if you're to be with this guy long term or sacrifice being with the guy if you want to remain swinging.
Tough choice, rather you than me
You may have to sacrifice swinging if you're to be with this guy long term or sacrifice being with the guy if you want to remain swinging.
Tough choice, rather you than me
Sex God
I would have thought that the way round it (the dating v swinging dilemma) would be to have a profile here and say openly on it that you are not adverse to finding a partner here if you happen upon the right person. That way anyone wanting to meet you will know that you are interested in a possible relationship and will be able to decide for themselves whether it scares the bejesus out of them or maybe they have been thinking along those lines themselves and would contact you.
Either way honesty is the best policy I would have thought....in all things.
Either way honesty is the best policy I would have thought....in all things.
Sex God
Forgive me if I'm reading this wrong - but I'm getting the impression you would like to get into a swinging relationship first and then either end your vanilla one or see if you can carry on 2 at the same time.
Either of those two options could and almost certainly will end in tears all round. And don't forget, just cos someone swings, doesn't mean they would accept being a part of a cheating relationship.
My personal advice would be to take it in stages.
1. Decide definitely of you want a relationship where you both swing.
2. Kindly and gently part from your current relationship.
3. Set up a "single and not averse to finding a partner" profile.
4. Get along to munches and socials (better for getting to know social parts of a person than a steamy hotel room - however much fun).
5. Don't see everyone as a potential partner - but as a potential friend. (I'm sure you already know about that one).
This is my personal view only and is freely offered.
Either of those two options could and almost certainly will end in tears all round. And don't forget, just cos someone swings, doesn't mean they would accept being a part of a cheating relationship.
My personal advice would be to take it in stages.
1. Decide definitely of you want a relationship where you both swing.
2. Kindly and gently part from your current relationship.
3. Set up a "single and not averse to finding a partner" profile.
4. Get along to munches and socials (better for getting to know social parts of a person than a steamy hotel room - however much fun).
5. Don't see everyone as a potential partner - but as a potential friend. (I'm sure you already know about that one).
This is my personal view only and is freely offered.
Sex God
Quote by H-x
Why is it that when someone says they are looking for a relationship they are always directed to Heaven Dating? If you're looking to date a swinger are you not better off looking on a swinging site than looking for a swinger on a dating site?
H.x
Very sorry and excuse me for trying to help and offer an alternative solution. There was me thinking that a Dating site could possibly be another option that possibly be more appropriate for someone who wants to start a relationship. It could even be more appropriate than relying on a swinging site and HOPING that one of the swingers might want a relationship.
When I read the OP it clearly stated that the member was looking to find a partner who was also into swinging, rather than a swinger who was also into relationships.
i have to agree with foxylady and would add that maybe you question why youre in a relationship with someone who is obviously so mis-matched.
i do see where youre coming from though amd it is difficult to get it right. i think to stop looking is the most common and most successful method, so ive heard anyway
i do see where youre coming from though amd it is difficult to get it right. i think to stop looking is the most common and most successful method, so ive heard anyway
Hello runtie,
you sex vixen you!!! :shock:
Anyway down to business.......
Firstly apologies if anyone else has come up with this suggestion I haven't read the posts just the main one.......
Right I'm assuming (though assumation is the mother of all fuck up's) that you want to leave your current "vanilla" partner and pursue a relationship with a "swinging scene" partner??
If so then maybe try the Let's Meet Up Section and put something along the lines of a "Would Like To Meet" type advert stating that you are looking for a single man using the site and being part of the scene, for the possibility of a relationship?
Go on a few dates and see how things go just as you would in a normal relationship, with the added factor that you don't have to go through the whole "getting into swinging as a couple" type chats or worrying about one another's reactions to the possibility!!
I'd say it's a sensible and practical approach to your situation, I like realists and that is what your being, if your with a guy that wants different things to you, you have to move on for BOTH your sakes rather than a dalliance with cheating on your partner and risking hurting them, which I'm sure is not your intention.
Let us know how you get on and I'll look out for yout "WLTM" adds on the LMU forum
you sex vixen you!!! :shock:
Anyway down to business.......
Firstly apologies if anyone else has come up with this suggestion I haven't read the posts just the main one.......
Right I'm assuming (though assumation is the mother of all fuck up's) that you want to leave your current "vanilla" partner and pursue a relationship with a "swinging scene" partner??
If so then maybe try the Let's Meet Up Section and put something along the lines of a "Would Like To Meet" type advert stating that you are looking for a single man using the site and being part of the scene, for the possibility of a relationship?
Go on a few dates and see how things go just as you would in a normal relationship, with the added factor that you don't have to go through the whole "getting into swinging as a couple" type chats or worrying about one another's reactions to the possibility!!
I'd say it's a sensible and practical approach to your situation, I like realists and that is what your being, if your with a guy that wants different things to you, you have to move on for BOTH your sakes rather than a dalliance with cheating on your partner and risking hurting them, which I'm sure is not your intention.
Let us know how you get on and I'll look out for yout "WLTM" adds on the LMU forum
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
We always a 'thing' about being caught or someone watching, and one night we were out in the car, being very naughty when we realised we were being watched! As it happens we had decided to have our naughty fun where we have later found out, is a well known dogging location. We didnt even know what dogging was!!!
This got us interested again, and then we found this site, found out what dogging was and took it from there. We are now starting to venture more into the 'conventional' swinging (if there is such a thing) but it has taken us a long time, and a lot of talking to get this far.
OMG that is the VERY same way we ended up here!! :shock:
The rest of the post had some good advice too, So sorry for the mini thread hijack, back on topic now, Good Luck Runtie.
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Very sorry and excuse me for trying to help and offer an alternative solution. There was me thinking that a Dating site could possibly be another option that possibly be more appropriate for someone who wants to start a relationship. It could even be more appropriate than relying on a swinging site and HOPING that one of the swingers might want a relationship.
When I read the OP it clearly stated that the member was looking to find a partner who was also into swinging, rather than a swinger who was also into relationships.
By the use of :roll: I'm thinking you thought I was having a go at you, not my intention, sorry if it came off sounding (reading? appearing?)that way.
Ok, an analogy (it's tenuous but it's the best I could do, it's been a long week-end)
Let's say, for example, you're looking for a policeman who can swim (see I told you it was tenuous).
Do you
a) go to a police station and ask if there is anyone there who can swim or
b) go to a swimming pool on the off-chance that a policeman shows up
Now, in my opinion, you're better off going to the police station - you know it's full of policemen and the chances of finding one who can swim are quite high. At the swimming pool, every-one can swim but the likelyhood of one of them being a policeman is quite low.
Given that the original question was, how do I have a relationship with a swinger? , would you not think that they are better off looking on a swinging site, yes a dating site is an alternative but, as mentioned in another thread, finding a 'vanilla' partner and then trying to persuade them to swing has some major pit-falls.
Once again NWC, I'm sorry if you got the impression I was having a go at you, I wasn't.
H.x
Sex God
Quote by H-x
Ok, an analogy (it's tenuous but it's the best I could do, it's been a long week-end)
Let's say, for example, you're looking for a policeman who can swim (see I told you it was tenuous).
Do you
a) go to a police station and ask if there is anyone there who can swim or
b) go to a swimming pool on the off-chance that a policeman shows up
Now, in my opinion, you're better off going to the police station - you know it's full of policemen and the chances of finding one who can swim are quite high. At the swimming pool, every-one can swim but the likelyhood of one of them being a policeman is quite low.
Given that the original question was, how do I have a relationship with a swinger? , would you not think that they are better off looking on a swinging site, yes a dating site is an alternative but, as mentioned in another thread, finding a 'vanilla' partner and then trying to persuade them to swing has some major pit-falls.
Once again NWC, I'm sorry if you got the impression I was having a go at you, I wasn't.
H.x
H-x
Thank you, and sorry if I came across as a Pushy, Moody, Trollop 
I do agree with your analogy above, and also I would go to the police station (could be because if the men in uniforms and nothing to do with your analogy)
but I read the OP meaning that the relationship was the most important part, preferably with the swinging add on ie a Police Man (Man for relationship) who swims (swings).It just shows that the written word on a form can sometimes be difficult to interpret (I obviously interpreted your post different than the explanation above) and we both interpreted the OP differently. :kiss:
Personally, I would stick a big ad on a dating site saying I was looking for a long term relationship, with a gorgeous, sexy guy who is also into swinging :P
