Thanks for the responses.
I wasn't really talking about depression as such, just those times, which we all have when bad things pile up. You know, when works shit, its raining, your back aches or any number of minor-ish things just come along and gang up on you.
Personaly my natural response is to head fo the nearest black hole. I find the life and soul thing doesn't work for me. I sometimes find being in a really, really, hype-good mood way to scary.
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How do you cope?
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I had a think about this (from the perspective of general crap piling up and then a large dollop being placed on top) and rather than a generic answer – I found more questions.
When we really have to ‘cope’ do we consciously decide how to cope or do we just ‘cope’ in whatever way and then a little later make more conscious decisions how to move on - making it partly a reflective decision making process.
I am not talking about something being demanding at work or one-off things that do have solutions – that is just how life is sometimes. I mean when things do pile up and then some super sized bombshells filled with crap explode in front of you – bombshells which have no solutions, which are not within your control… the ones you really just do have to ‘cope’ with.
Can you easily step back from the overwhelming pile of crap and consciously decide what to do until you have subconsciously found a way to mentally cope? Is it this state of coping which allows you to make the decisions?
Do we really jump straight into “how shall I cope with this†mode or do we have to subconsciously find a way to ‘come to terms’ (is the only phrase I can think of at the moment) with what is happening before we can consciously think about a way forward.
Is the conscious way we choose to show we are coping really our way of coping or just the way we try to show the world around us that we are?
Is the life and soul route actually coping or nothing more than pretence?
Is coping sometimes confused with suppressing or is suppressing actually coping?
Is how we behave anything to do with coping at all?
Is coping a mindset or a state of mind?
Is either jumping around being the life and soul of the party or hiding in a dark corner actually coping at all - or more a sign that emotionally/mentally we are not? After all, if we truly are coping... why the need to outwardly do something different?
When we really have to ‘cope’ do we consciously decide how to cope or do we just ‘cope’ in whatever way and then a little later make more conscious decisions how to move on - making it partly a reflective decision making process.
I am not talking about something being demanding at work or one-off things that do have solutions – that is just how life is sometimes. I mean when things do pile up and then some super sized bombshells filled with crap explode in front of you – bombshells which have no solutions, which are not within your control… the ones you really just do have to ‘cope’ with.
Can you easily step back from the overwhelming pile of crap and consciously decide what to do until you have subconsciously found a way to mentally cope? Is it this state of coping which allows you to make the decisions?
Do we really jump straight into “how shall I cope with this†mode or do we have to subconsciously find a way to ‘come to terms’ (is the only phrase I can think of at the moment) with what is happening before we can consciously think about a way forward.
Is the conscious way we choose to show we are coping really our way of coping or just the way we try to show the world around us that we are?
Is the life and soul route actually coping or nothing more than pretence?
Is coping sometimes confused with suppressing or is suppressing actually coping?
Is how we behave anything to do with coping at all?
Is coping a mindset or a state of mind?
Is either jumping around being the life and soul of the party or hiding in a dark corner actually coping at all - or more a sign that emotionally/mentally we are not? After all, if we truly are coping... why the need to outwardly do something different?
I dont know if I conciously make a decision to 'cope' or if its now just a natural reaction.
'piles of crap' are an inevitable & unescapable part of my job, on top of financial issues and various other things that decide to come plonk themselves on my shoulders on quite regular occasions.... to a point I let them build up and build up until metaphorically speaking I'm about 3ft tall under the weight. I'll spend a few days down & very quiet, and then something else will come and add to the load - and at which point I hit 'coiled spring' mode
'i'm not fucking having this' :taz: and BANG - i suddenly explode and become 10ft tall, I get completely on my high horse and turn into a complete control freak and I sort it. There's no talking or reasoning just a complete and overwhelimg ' Right, this needs sorting, now' feeling .... and I'm on one :lol:
It doesnt matter if its taking the bull by the horns work wise, marching in and telling someone exactly what I think, confronting a few demons or doing things through 'the proper channels', or not, as the case may be - but its not a concious coping mechanism, it just happens & i've always been that way
A fighter perhaps? or just a fool to let things build up that far in the first place 
I'm not really a 'life and soul' person, I do feel that's simply masking the underlying issues, and you just feel twice as bad the following morning because the 'problem' is still there. But then I cant just do the black hole thing either. It doesnt go away unless you confront it head on :dunno:
'piles of crap' are an inevitable & unescapable part of my job, on top of financial issues and various other things that decide to come plonk themselves on my shoulders on quite regular occasions.... to a point I let them build up and build up until metaphorically speaking I'm about 3ft tall under the weight. I'll spend a few days down & very quiet, and then something else will come and add to the load - and at which point I hit 'coiled spring' mode
'i'm not fucking having this' :taz: and BANG - i suddenly explode and become 10ft tall, I get completely on my high horse and turn into a complete control freak and I sort it. There's no talking or reasoning just a complete and overwhelimg ' Right, this needs sorting, now' feeling .... and I'm on one :lol:
It doesnt matter if its taking the bull by the horns work wise, marching in and telling someone exactly what I think, confronting a few demons or doing things through 'the proper channels', or not, as the case may be - but its not a concious coping mechanism, it just happens & i've always been that way
A fighter perhaps? or just a fool to let things build up that far in the first place I'm not really a 'life and soul' person, I do feel that's simply masking the underlying issues, and you just feel twice as bad the following morning because the 'problem' is still there. But then I cant just do the black hole thing either. It doesnt go away unless you confront it head on :dunno:
Quote by PoloLady
bombshells which have no solutions, which are not within your control… the ones you really just do have to ‘cope’ with.
Can you easily step back from the overwhelming pile of crap and consciously decide what to do until you have subconsciously found a way to mentally cope? Is it this state of coping which allows you to make the decisions?
I don't have a "bombshell problem" and it's probably quite trivial but im in a spin about it as it is out of my control whatever i try and do. It is something i have to step back from which is something i don't like to do. I like to deal with problems when they happen as i hate things left undone.
Quote by PoloLady
Do we really jump straight into “how shall I cope with this†mode or do we have to subconsciously find a way to ‘come to terms’ (is the only phrase I can think of at the moment) with what is happening before we can consciously think about a way forward.
I don't i jump in to try and solve the problem for better or worse. I dont stand back and think what should i do i just do something not often for the better but maybe acceptable at best. Which is probably how my problem will turn out.
I havent answered the rest as i found my self cotradicting what i said i was doing to solve the problem i have above. But basicly i see digging a hole or being the life and soul to be not coping but hiding. I said earlier im a dig a hole kind to most things that don't work out how i want which is exactly what i did the othe night and it wasnt coping as i probably made things and feel a bit worse.
Sex God
Personally, my perspective is that the 'life and soul of the party' thing, is nothing more than a pretence and as such not coping since once you get home or whatever, guess what - it's just you and you can't pretend to yourself ... the opposite, 'sink into a deep dark hole' is completely counter-productive and as such something of a waste of time as it gets you nowhere and needless to say - it's not coping either.
I think how we 'cope' is something that isn't so much a conscious decision 'to cope' but something internal to ourselves ... I'm a natural optimist and one thing I always think of is that no matter how shitty we each think our lives are at any point in time, there are literally milions of people who would envy us our lives - that's not just rhetoric either.
Stay Frosty!
I think how we 'cope' is something that isn't so much a conscious decision 'to cope' but something internal to ourselves ... I'm a natural optimist and one thing I always think of is that no matter how shitty we each think our lives are at any point in time, there are literally milions of people who would envy us our lives - that's not just rhetoric either.
Stay Frosty!
you know why Keeno :kiss:Thanks to POLO for clearing a few things in my mind. The question I should be asking could have been.
Do you hide from problems (black hole) or
Do you ignore them (life and soul)
Why does life always throw a several shitbombs at you at once?
Is it cos you can deal with them one at a time so you don't notice them but in they come in, in a bunch you can't deal with them and you notice?
My advice as "a run and hide person" is
Its okay not to cope, we all have friends who will help and support us.
Do you hide from problems (black hole) or
Do you ignore them (life and soul)
Why does life always throw a several shitbombs at you at once?
Is it cos you can deal with them one at a time so you don't notice them but in they come in, in a bunch you can't deal with them and you notice?
My advice as "a run and hide person" is
Its okay not to cope, we all have friends who will help and support us.
Quote by PoloLady
I had a think about this (from the perspective of general crap piling up and then a large dollop being placed on top) and rather than a generic answer – I found more questions.
You don’t say! (life and soul mode)
When we really have to ‘cope’ do we consciously decide how to cope or do we just ‘cope’ in whatever way and then a little later make more conscious decisions how to move on - making it partly a reflective decision making process.
I am not talking about something being demanding at work or one-off things that do have solutions – that is just how life is sometimes. I mean when things do pile up and then some super sized bombshells filled with crap explode in front of you – bombshells which have no solutions, which are not within your control… the ones you really just do have to ‘cope’ with.
Can you easily step back from the overwhelming pile of crap and consciously decide what to do until you have subconsciously found a way to mentally cope? Is it this state of coping which allows you to make the decisions?
Do we really jump straight into “how shall I cope with this†mode or do we have to subconsciously find a way to ‘come to terms’ (is the only phrase I can think of at the moment) with what is happening before we can consciously think about a way forward.
Is the conscious way we choose to show we are coping really our way of coping or just the way we try to show the world around us that we are?
Is the life and soul route actually coping or nothing more than pretence?
Is coping sometimes confused with suppressing or is suppressing actually coping?
Is how we behave anything to do with coping at all?
Is coping a mindset or a state of mind?
Is either jumping around being the life and soul of the party or hiding in a dark corner actually coping at all - or more a sign that emotionally/mentally we are not? After all, if we truly are coping... why the need to outwardly do something different?
Maybe ill come back to this later (Hole Mode) :roll:
I will come back to this later! (cope mode)
Sex God
Never been depressed, but I know I cry a lot (alone) when I'm fed up/feeling emotional. Gets it out of my system, I suppose.
Sexpert
Drink too much, smoke too much, eat crap, stay in bed too long, avoid contact with friends...yep, I know the deep dark hole. Have been through a bit of a spell recently, but unfortunately all of the above reactions simply exacerbate the situation.
Excercise is fantastic for balancing seratonin levels. Drinking and smoking ultimately screw them up. So stop drinking, smoke less (if at all), eat better, get in touch with family and friends and organise doing something outside of a pub ....and get some excercise (running, swimming, cycling, long walk, whatever) - Oh, and get up earlier!. It is a very tough fight, but outside medical help (which is not neccesary in most cases. in my humble opinion) taking these steps is just about the only way forward.
Good luck
Excercise is fantastic for balancing seratonin levels. Drinking and smoking ultimately screw them up. So stop drinking, smoke less (if at all), eat better, get in touch with family and friends and organise doing something outside of a pub ....and get some excercise (running, swimming, cycling, long walk, whatever) - Oh, and get up earlier!. It is a very tough fight, but outside medical help (which is not neccesary in most cases. in my humble opinion) taking these steps is just about the only way forward.
Good luck
