We have placed a few adverts on a few sites, and, after receiving replies or piccys it's either a Yeah! or a Nay! vote - so how do you say thank-you but no, in a way that causes the least offence?
Yes, I know we are all supposed to be "adult" enough to decline an invitation, but it's difficult to do this after some correspondence without fear of upsetting someone. Maybe it's a "gut" feeling, for some reason you don't think you will click, or you've seen the picture and they aren't quite your cup of tea (we know that sometimes we aren’t) - after all physical attraction is important.
So could some one please please please, give us some advice!
Cheers
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How do you say no?
Yeah... that's a tough one, alright. 
I've never got it right yet.... if I ever do, I'll let you know.
One of the things I try from time to time is say something like... "I'm sorry, but I've been overwhelmed with replies and can't realistically promise to meet new people for a while... I'll contact you if that changes."
So... it doesn't REALLY let them know where they stand but at least it still leaves them with a little wray of hope.. and eventually they'll move on and forget you.
Hxx
I've never got it right yet.... if I ever do, I'll let you know.
One of the things I try from time to time is say something like... "I'm sorry, but I've been overwhelmed with replies and can't realistically promise to meet new people for a while... I'll contact you if that changes."
So... it doesn't REALLY let them know where they stand but at least it still leaves them with a little wray of hope.. and eventually they'll move on and forget you.
Hxx
How about straight out and out honesty.
It is painful but easier in the long run....
Whilst there are some really odd reasons why you do not click with some people - we have had a few - most of the time you just do not click. Be honest and say "On this occassion I will have to say Thanks but No Thanks as I just do not feel it will be right"
In the short time we have been swinging we have had to do this maybe 100 times and we have never had a single negative response back - in fact in some cases people have thanked us for our honesty....
I have just had a look at an email I sent yesterday and it says this:
The first 50 are painful and make you cringe - when you get to 200 it becomes easy! :roll:
Hope this helps
Fred
It is painful but easier in the long run....
Whilst there are some really odd reasons why you do not click with some people - we have had a few - most of the time you just do not click. Be honest and say "On this occassion I will have to say Thanks but No Thanks as I just do not feel it will be right"
In the short time we have been swinging we have had to do this maybe 100 times and we have never had a single negative response back - in fact in some cases people have thanked us for our honesty....
I have just had a look at an email I sent yesterday and it says this:
Hi xxxxx & xxxxx,
Sorry for the delay in replying - we have been a litle busy of late!
Thank you for getting in touch but on this occassion this is a polite "Thanks, but No Thanks". However we wish you luck in your search for fun.
Be good - Be happy - Be horny - Be Safe!
Yabba Dabba Dooooo? We bloody well do!
Fred & Wilma
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The first 50 are painful and make you cringe - when you get to 200 it becomes easy!
:roll:Hope this helps
Fred
Sex God
Tell them that they sound like a lovely guy/girl/whatever, but they're really not what you're looking for. And wish them luck in finding what they're after.
I don't think it's possible to say "no" without causing a little bit of hurt (it is a rejection, however you word it). I think the gentlest way is to let them know that it's not that there's something wrong with them, and that you recognise that they're looking for something as much as you are. That leaves them with some hope.
That's the sort of thing I'd want to hear.
I don't think it's possible to say "no" without causing a little bit of hurt (it is a rejection, however you word it). I think the gentlest way is to let them know that it's not that there's something wrong with them, and that you recognise that they're looking for something as much as you are. That leaves them with some hope.
That's the sort of thing I'd want to hear.
Orgasminator
I go with the No Thank You, simple str8 and to the point.
TS
TS
As a single male using the site - the equivalent of a syphilitic, one-legged leper with criminal acne - I'd appreciate a simple "Thanks, but no thanks". The courtesy of a reply would mean a lot more than any false sentiment.
Copying and pasting said phrase will save time and show a vague degree of humanity. Although I've not been on the receiving end of hundreds of replies to an ad (if only!), I really don't think it's too much to ask.
Copying and pasting said phrase will save time and show a vague degree of humanity. Although I've not been on the receiving end of hundreds of replies to an ad (if only!), I really don't think it's too much to ask.
Honest and Adult is appreciated
Maybe something like the following:-
"Thanks for taking the trouble to make contact, but we don't wish to pursue this further. You're just not quite what we we're looking for - nothing personal, simply a matter of individual preference really!
Wishing you fun swinging times.
........................."
Maybe something like the following:-
"Thanks for taking the trouble to make contact, but we don't wish to pursue this further. You're just not quite what we we're looking for - nothing personal, simply a matter of individual preference really!
Wishing you fun swinging times.
........................."
I just had a thought about this...
One thing I have to deal with in my daily life is rejection - not of this nature, but still personal all the same. I write things for money sometimes - won't say which things - and then I have to try and sell them. One way I got around the rejection embarassment once was to send out a ' pro formo' rejection letter with my piece which enabled the prospective buyer to simply tick a box, sign it and return it.
Worked a treat!
Hxx
One thing I have to deal with in my daily life is rejection - not of this nature, but still personal all the same. I write things for money sometimes - won't say which things - and then I have to try and sell them. One way I got around the rejection embarassment once was to send out a ' pro formo' rejection letter with my piece which enabled the prospective buyer to simply tick a box, sign it and return it.
Worked a treat!
Hxx
Sexpert
That's pretty clever Heather, and its the age old coping technique used by bullied and put down people through the ages...
If I do it first and get in there first, then it wont hurt so much...
I still do that - pull myself down, and put my work down, so that when people tear me and my work to pieces then at least I bet them to it.
I write computer games and release them for free on the internet, and cant believe how many people pick faults with it, little niggles and nitpicking - its free for gossakes!
But it still hurts when I have put months of work into them.
Back to the subject in hand - (polite if possible) honesty is the best policy, as in all situations (well most).
If I do it first and get in there first, then it wont hurt so much...
I still do that - pull myself down, and put my work down, so that when people tear me and my work to pieces then at least I bet them to it.
I write computer games and release them for free on the internet, and cant believe how many people pick faults with it, little niggles and nitpicking - its free for gossakes!
But it still hurts when I have put months of work into them.
Back to the subject in hand - (polite if possible) honesty is the best policy, as in all situations (well most).
An acknowledgement would at least make trying feel worthwhile.
Have never had a reply to an email. but then havnt sent a great many. Only as responses to ads....should I try cold emails to memebers???
Havnt sent many PMs , only a couple (You know who you are
) And they have to be ladies who capture my imagination in some way...Have had a response then.
Have never had a reply to an email. but then havnt sent a great many. Only as responses to ads....should I try cold emails to memebers???
Havnt sent many PMs , only a couple (You know who you are
) And they have to be ladies who capture my imagination in some way...Have had a response then. 
Sorry!!
May I officially welcome you to the place which is SH... there has been more than a touch of mayhem in the last two days so the usual welcoming party has been guarding the towers and manning the walls.
Please join in and get to know us all. I've been doing hand to hand fighting with a class one tosser all afternoon but the amalgamated troops ran him out of town.
Will you PM me the stuff about the £200 per hour that you got - we need to deal with that pronto as is it strictly against site policy, ethos or AUP? thanks.
May I officially welcome you to the place which is SH... there has been more than a touch of mayhem in the last two days so the usual welcoming party has been guarding the towers and manning the walls.
Please join in and get to know us all. I've been doing hand to hand fighting with a class one tosser all afternoon but the amalgamated troops ran him out of town.
Will you PM me the stuff about the £200 per hour that you got - we need to deal with that pronto as is it strictly against site policy, ethos or AUP? thanks.
OK, how DO you say no!
Him - any chance u single and u for some more pics if yes where from and any
chance of sending me any more pics please get back to me and if u get back
to me i will send u a pic of myself and my moblie number ok
me - No to all your questions. We are a 40+ year old couple.
Him - so u dont do threesomes ?
Me - We only do threesomes. Today I have been through 37 e-mail invites for threesomes, and yours was the most difficult to read. End of story.
Him - so u fancy a threes ome with me if i send u a pic
Me - No, there is no way you will ever get a chance of having a threesome with us.
Him - so do u fancy a three somes with me i will email pic if u get back to me o k
:banghead: :banghead:
and this compares to:
Hi Kitkat!
Love the pics babes!
My name is ******* and I'm 26-years of age. I live in north kent and have, on three occasions enjoyed "meets" with other couples/women for some sexy fun.I'm currently single (as of 2 months ago) and looking for some uncomplicated, sexy fun and frolics. I am professional, clean, 100% discrete and always up for new and good experiences.
I have attached two pics of me - hope you like them. If you would like to meet please get in care
Some blokes you are glad you can say no to them, and some, you wish you didn't have to!
Anyone who wants to contact a nice sounding young man from Kent, I'd be happy to pass on the details!
lhk
Kat
Him - any chance u single and u for some more pics if yes where from and any
chance of sending me any more pics please get back to me and if u get back
to me i will send u a pic of myself and my moblie number ok
me - No to all your questions. We are a 40+ year old couple.
Him - so u dont do threesomes ?
Me - We only do threesomes. Today I have been through 37 e-mail invites for threesomes, and yours was the most difficult to read. End of story.
Him - so u fancy a threes ome with me if i send u a pic
Me - No, there is no way you will ever get a chance of having a threesome with us.
Him - so do u fancy a three somes with me i will email pic if u get back to me o k
:banghead: :banghead: and this compares to:
Hi Kitkat!
Love the pics babes!
My name is ******* and I'm 26-years of age. I live in north kent and have, on three occasions enjoyed "meets" with other couples/women for some sexy fun.I'm currently single (as of 2 months ago) and looking for some uncomplicated, sexy fun and frolics. I am professional, clean, 100% discrete and always up for new and good experiences.
I have attached two pics of me - hope you like them. If you would like to meet please get in care
Some blokes you are glad you can say no to them, and some, you wish you didn't have to!
Anyone who wants to contact a nice sounding young man from Kent, I'd be happy to pass on the details!
lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
Me - We only do threesomes. Today I have been through 37 e-mail invites for threesomes, and yours was the most difficult to read. End of story.
Him - so u fancy a threes ome with me if i send u a pic
Me - No, there is no way you will ever get a chance of having a threesome with us.
Him - so do u fancy a three somes with me i will email pic if u get back to me o k
I seem to remember hearing that some (cowboy) door-to-door salesmen are told the customer should say "no" seven times before they stop pressing.
Prepare yourself Kitkat for four more emails...
We are not meeting anyone for the time being but when we were this was our standard reply to those we didn't want to meet.
Thanks for your e-mail and pic.
We are sorry to say that you are not what Sue is looking for.
No offence intended and we hope none is taken.
Your e-mail along with your pic will be deleted.
Regards,
Pete & Sue.
This may not be the way everyone would respond but have to say we have had many replies to this saying thank you for the polite reply and that most people don't bother.
We only replied to those who included in their mail to us everything that we asked for and that they met our criteria.
Thanks for your e-mail and pic.
We are sorry to say that you are not what Sue is looking for.
No offence intended and we hope none is taken.
Your e-mail along with your pic will be deleted.
Regards,
Pete & Sue.
This may not be the way everyone would respond but have to say we have had many replies to this saying thank you for the polite reply and that most people don't bother.
We only replied to those who included in their mail to us everything that we asked for and that they met our criteria.
