how do you tell someone no

25 Aug 2005

We think- thanks but no thanks should be adequate enough rolleyes

We have found that person/persons sometimes then question the reason as to why you don't wish to play with them confused

This can make the situation a little uncomfortable feeling that you are expected to give a full explanation.
On a whole though most genuine swingers respect your decision not to play and move on, it's just unfortunate there are some don't and try put pressure on..
Everyone has preferences and that should be respected!
Lucy xx

25 Aug 2005

yes thanks guys and girls,
I feel a bit more confident now and can say no thanks without too much dificulty
all the advice has been taken on board and filed away for future use.
Hope i dont have to go to step 5 though. lol
I would never go with someone i felt sorry for though, I have to like someone
as a person first and last.
lisamarie

25 Aug 2005

you could take a tip from the supermarket checkouts, just as they think it's their turn to get served just put up a sign saying 'legs closed....sorry' and bugger off :grin:

25 Aug 2005

how about "six inches or less"?

25 Aug 2005

Yup - a reply is important - even if it is a "no thanks" - heres one we got recently
Hi you two,
thanx for you email and your pics. We are sorry that
we did not write back sofar, but we weren`t
interested. Good luck for you two ;-)
We thought this was a very nice "no thanks".

25 Aug 2005

I find a simple "thanks but you're not really my type, I'm flattered though" works nicely....
I have been turned down in the past and although it smarts for a second I don't take it personally......similarly I have had to turn down people in the past and have tried to do it as nicely as possible....
I hope you feel more confident now Lisa Marie.....go and have fun at those clubs, I'll get there one day too... wink

25 Aug 2005

I will agree that a polite "thanks but no thanks" is the best course of action, I would say though dont trust to body language as it is too easy to misinterpret.
You may think that your signals are clearly saying "get lost you're a minger" but to the other person they may be reading "I am shy so you need to come on stronger" !
Up front honesty is always best and if you dont think you can tell someone "no thanks" you really shouldn't be swinging anymore than someone who cant handle a polite no should be.
Roger the Dragon cool

25 Aug 2005

Are we fortunate that we have never met anyone that we have had to say no to or are we just tarts lol

28 Aug 2005

it is hard when you dont find someone attractive to say no thanks and there is no real nice way of saying no but just be honest and tell them im sorry but its not going to work i see you as a freind but nothing more will come out of it .......

28 Aug 2005

we always put something early in our mails to them like mutual attraction is a must, its subtle and non-offensive and you can just say sorry but i dont think we are compatible. being super humanly handsome though iv never had any experience of this so im not sure how offensive it may sound wink