I split up with my husband in July 05 and anybody who knows me, knows that hes been an absolute tosser to both me and my family.... However, im now living with someone else and on the whole, very happy..
But... even now 15 months on, things hurt, the other day i was lying on my bed listening to Rod Stewart singing "I dont wanna talk about it" and before i knew it, i had tears streaming down my face. I guess there is no time limit, altho someone did once tell me it takes about 3 yrs to get over a split... dunno about that but i do have bad days now then...
Suze xx
you can't really put a time limit of such things, it depends how happy you was with your partner and how much you loved them, personally i couldn't wait to get away from my ex and have never regreated the day i left
hi
hang in there was with the hubby 20years. had the nastiy divorse in the world. but life goes on. chin up keep smiling.
hugs
babe1
I still see my ex as we share many of the same friends. We've stopped arguing all the time and can spend up to an hour in each others company before we begin to niggle each other. After 10 years of marriage I still have feelings for her and I think she's the same. We're not friends as such just people who've known each other for a very long time.
The pain passes but the feelings don't.
Sometimes you never get over an ex, regardless of how shit she/he treated you.
Maybe you just accept the fact that you miss him/her and always will.
The trick is just to take that acceptance, put it in a box, lock it, but whatever you do, dont lose the key. There are so many self centered bastards in this world, chances are it may happen again. So you may just have to re-open the box and stuff another one in there at some point in the future.
Funny that it sounds so simple. Some people are masters at it, some, are still working an apprenticeship.
DC
Storm
Sassy
Thanks guys - you have no idea how much that meant to me reading your comments.
I reckon I have missed this virtual familiy.
I have no definitive answer to this either, just my own pain to cope with.
I split with my ex 6 months ago and I`m so broken up inside and missing him so `s why I`m on here for casual sex, it doesnt involve anybody getting near my heart.
I guess we all need a big group hug.
I'm feeling shit at the moment 'cos I've just ended a really good friendship with someone because I didn't think our 'relationship' was helping her. I really hope I'm wrong but if I'm not then by saying 'Goodbye' to her tonight is the only way I can help her with the situation she is in.
Life can be a rollercoaster sometimes & last night I was on a real high just from something she said to me on the phone yet tonight I'm rock bottom.
Sorry to hijack this thread a bit but didn't want to start my own, just wanted to slip this in here un-noticed and piss off while no-one's looking!!! lol
How ever long it takes kvs4fun, maybe remember she is still the kids mother and you are their you have an attitude with her, the kids will pick up on it and be maybe don't delete her no. and dont stop talking about her. How will kids be feeling if they cant mention their Mum infront of you? Have they got to pick sides?Believe me it is very rewarding to go through a split(14 yrs marriage 3 yr ago for me)and see the kids being able to chat freely"mum said this and mum did that".I would hate to think of them having to shut of to their week with their mum when they are with me, or visa 's not easy I know,she left for someone else, but maybe do as I did kvs and look at your behaviour. I'm not surprised with all the clubbing and sleeping around I did she left me, but initially it was easy to blame her and ignore my behaviour and believe she was in the suggesting you are, but maybe think about you can take even part of the blame yourself for her behaviour, it will help for you to have a better attitude toward her than in your earlier post,then hopefully you can forget the past ,move on and share a joint role in bringing up the kids without them being affected.I'm no expert kvs4fun,but it worked for us and still benefit this week with major family tragedy and we all were able to help each other out. So you never know what is just around the corner,so think before you write her off kvs4fun, try and talk for the kids sake
Someone sent me this today - " Which just about sums things up " - I think we have all been there one stage or another !!!!!
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
The problem with the pain of splitting up is that you get used to it and often you want it to fill the empty space that has been left by the split as at least it gives you something to do even if it hurts like hell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That may sound stupid but its very real.
Sorry for any one going through it now but it is part of the healing process. My split has been taking me 3 years to come to terms with and part of that hurt will always be there. However, most of this is as others have said, is in the head - a song, smell, film can start you off and there you are back in love, lust, hurting like hell. However I wont deny myself that any longer. What I do know is that I can look at it and see that it was right to end as neither of us made it really work. We never really tried hard enough to make it work long term and we were together 7 years and I loved that man so much, or so I thought. The problem was that I made him a project, someone to save from himself. Thats love but a destructive kind with no happy ending. After all, who wants to be a project? He didnt.
I remember reading somewhere Stings wife saying you had to work every day to make a relationship last. You should never take it for granted.
Good luck one and all. It does get better.
Corrie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As virtually everyone has said there is no specific time frame on getting over an Ex. But I do think it is easier if you can sever contact, not easy if you have kids etc.
I was living with my Ex for 10 years. Once house was sold and went seperate ways able to get over things and adjust to a new way of live in about 6 months. Bumped into her in the supermarket 3 years later happy to say hello but no desire at all to get back together.
I met a girl at the beginning of this year and we saw each other only for 2 months. Things ended at the beginning of the summer but 6 months on I still have feelings for her. We share a group of friends and we bump into each now and again. I can't help being reminded of what could have been.
Life just sucks at times.
. When I have very occasional dips I read the words from this card that a friend gave to me at the time of my breakup.
