PAUSE FOR THOUGHT
We are all adults in this BIG adventurous world, where WE All as Adults are always Thinking/Seeking/Looking for new adventures with our other halves.
My own personal thoughts on adventure/Thrill/ Satisfaction or gratification are as follows. Think seriously to yourselves while reading this posting.
Inside everyone of us we (No matter what gender/sexuality, I am taking everybody into account here). We all have this little DEVIL of DOUBT inside of us about sexual adventures and HOW THE OTHER HALF REALLY FEELS.
I am sure I am not the only swinger/dogger/fetish seeker, etc, etc. (The list is too long to mention, lol) on this site. We all have these thoughts, (NO MATTER THE THRILL OF THE MOMENT). Afterwards I am sure inside of all us swingers, etc, etc we all have minor doubts no matter how small or trivial they are.
Any way NO matter who we are If you say NO to the above, well I do not believe YOU are being true to yourself.
Anyway (PAUSE FOR THOUGHT) As long as we are all happy with one another and respect each others wishes then It makes for a more fullfilling, satisfying relationship............
TRY TO THINK?????????
HOW THE OTHER HALF REALLY FEELS!!!!!!!!
Look forward to your comments and thoughts on the above subject.
PS. ME & DONNA LOVE EACH OTHER TO BITS
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How the other half feels?
Being serious here for a change!
No matter what BlueEyes and I do, she'll always mean the world to me. We may flirt with other people and swing with other people but at the end of a day, I can come home after a hard day and a smile from her can mean more than anything
Having a steady relationship where you can share everything is what swinging is all about (to us!).
No matter what BlueEyes and I do, she'll always mean the world to me. We may flirt with other people and swing with other people but at the end of a day, I can come home after a hard day and a smile from her can mean more than anything
Having a steady relationship where you can share everything is what swinging is all about (to us!).
Sorry Donna and Mark, I thought I had. We fully discussed it before we got into this and in fact, Blue Eyes is always the person who makes contact with other people (only because she likes to be the one to chatter). We don't have a particular category that we fall into. We do not just swing with couples, or with single guys, or with single women. We swing with people who interest us, and turn us on. If for one second, I thought that BlueEyes was not happy with that, I would stop it now, but I know she's not.
Before we are swingers, we are a loving couple, and that is what matters most.
Before we are swingers, we are a loving couple, and that is what matters most.
Well I am glad you are both happy with one another. All I am trying to question is Have you ever had doubts??? Wot about your first time swinging or taking part in any sexual recreational event between yourselves?
I am only asking if you have ever had any doubt - No matter how much you both have talked it over with each other?
Like you say you are a loving couple and that is what matters most. (Never doubting)
All I am trying to ask is have you ever had any doubts when you or as a couple have ever participated in FUN and EVER had any doubts NO matter how small.
My question is have you ever thought about How the other half feels. Its not about you it is about your partner.
Mark & Donna
I am only asking if you have ever had any doubt - No matter how much you both have talked it over with each other?
Like you say you are a loving couple and that is what matters most. (Never doubting)
All I am trying to ask is have you ever had any doubts when you or as a couple have ever participated in FUN and EVER had any doubts NO matter how small.
My question is have you ever thought about How the other half feels. Its not about you it is about your partner.
Mark & Donna
Hi there, just woke up - Wot a hangover. Just read wot I wrote. I cant remember writing it. Sorry If I have offended you Mr Blue Eyes.
I must have thought about it in order for me to type it.
Anyway How does the other half really feel.
From my point of view, I was nervous at first, Excited and thought about Donna and was this wot she wanted or was she trying to please me. After talking to her she felt it was fun and safe as long as we were both honest and open to each other and told each other wot we both wanted in order for us both to accommodate each other.
After several meetings with other couples we are both very happy and respect each others wishes.
I must have thought about it in order for me to type it.
Anyway How does the other half really feel.
From my point of view, I was nervous at first, Excited and thought about Donna and was this wot she wanted or was she trying to please me. After talking to her she felt it was fun and safe as long as we were both honest and open to each other and told each other wot we both wanted in order for us both to accommodate each other.
After several meetings with other couples we are both very happy and respect each others wishes.
Hiya Donna and Mark,
For us, I would say that the question you ask is reflected not only in our swinging, but in all aspects of our relationship.
We developed a level of trust and mutual consideration that allowed us to consider swinging. One of the things that swinging has highlighted is our differences as individuals, these differences are the things that can trip us up.
I would say that doubts are our un-voiced fears, which can eat away at us. One of the things we have agreed on is that when we swing we will meet our mutual needs. Anything that is an indivdual need stays as a fantasy in the bedroom.
We are a very conservative and careful couple, not prone to adventurous risk taking. Having said that, every new experience we have leaves questions to be asked after the even. These are shelved until the next morning. So yes, we do have doubts at the time, but are re-assured by the knowledge that we will be able to share them, and that we will get an honest answer.
lhk
kat
For us, I would say that the question you ask is reflected not only in our swinging, but in all aspects of our relationship.
We developed a level of trust and mutual consideration that allowed us to consider swinging. One of the things that swinging has highlighted is our differences as individuals, these differences are the things that can trip us up.
I would say that doubts are our un-voiced fears, which can eat away at us. One of the things we have agreed on is that when we swing we will meet our mutual needs. Anything that is an indivdual need stays as a fantasy in the bedroom.
We are a very conservative and careful couple, not prone to adventurous risk taking. Having said that, every new experience we have leaves questions to be asked after the even. These are shelved until the next morning. So yes, we do have doubts at the time, but are re-assured by the knowledge that we will be able to share them, and that we will get an honest answer.
lhk
kat
Sex God
Donna-Mark - we can only reply with our own individual experiences, but I hope your hangover isn't too bad!
Some people do get jealous, I've seen people behave very jealously in clubs (it kills the action btw as it makes everyone laugh
). If a couple have specific rules and one of them over-steps the mark, the green-eyed monster can raise its evil head :shock: . For me personally, sex is sex and my partner can do what he wants provided its safe(ish). Having emotional involvement with someone else would be a completely different matter however 
Some people do get jealous, I've seen people behave very jealously in clubs (it kills the action btw as it makes everyone laugh
). If a couple have specific rules and one of them over-steps the mark, the green-eyed monster can raise its evil head :shock: . For me personally, sex is sex and my partner can do what he wants provided its safe(ish). Having emotional involvement with someone else would be a completely different matter however DonnaNMark, don't worry about offending Mr BE, he was a little worse for wear himself!!
From a personal point of view, I've not been jealous when we've been swinging, possibly because we tend to get to know people before we swing with them. I was DEAD nervous the first time, I can remember that! However, if we're out and someone I don't know starts talking to Mr BE, I get insanely jealous!
Work that one out if you can!!
From a personal point of view, I've not been jealous when we've been swinging, possibly because we tend to get to know people before we swing with them. I was DEAD nervous the first time, I can remember that! However, if we're out and someone I don't know starts talking to Mr BE, I get insanely jealous!
Work that one out if you can!!
:rotflmao:If people get jealous then that in itself is a sign of your feelings towards your partner. As long as they dont turn into signs of anger or resentment towards your other half.
I'm glad I raised the subject.
Since I started swinging my feelings have changed in that I share my thoughts and feelings with Donna, no matter how trivial and it makes for a more fulfilling relationship with each other. In order that we can explore and respect each others boundries.
I'm glad I raised the subject.
Since I started swinging my feelings have changed in that I share my thoughts and feelings with Donna, no matter how trivial and it makes for a more fulfilling relationship with each other. In order that we can explore and respect each others boundries.
I'm glad you raised the subject Mark. We are looking to get into the scene. The more I see what people say on the site the more I see everything can be OK. I am not worried about getting jealous over the physical side, somehow I dont think Mrs T will get jealous. The main thing that I fear is emotional involvement, her becoming emotionally involved with someone else. The physical side of seeing her with a man is a turn on. How do you avoid relationships starting?..We arre both open about that...we both love each other very much...but can the heart be controlled by rules?? Will the heart distinguish between physical closeness and affection?? Would appreciate feedback from those with experience...both good and bad
There are two dangers of emotional attachment
1) Your partner becoming emotionally attached to someone you swing with
2) Someone you swing with becoming emotionally attached to your partner.
(and they both apply to yourself as well)
For the first - the only way to avoid it is to be absolutly sure about your own relationship. If this happens, it is more likely that swinging has exposed an existing crack in your relationship, rather than you or your partner meeting the love of your life and being swept of their/your feet.
The second is more difficult to avoid. There is a limit to how well you can get to know the person you swing with. But there are "signposts" you can use to prevent it. For example, many swingers will tell you that kissing on the lips is not permitted (we do not permit it). This is considered to be by many a more intimate act than sex itself. It sets a boundary. There are more practical steps, like nobody ever gets Kits mobile phone number.
lhk
Kat
1) Your partner becoming emotionally attached to someone you swing with
2) Someone you swing with becoming emotionally attached to your partner.
(and they both apply to yourself as well)
For the first - the only way to avoid it is to be absolutly sure about your own relationship. If this happens, it is more likely that swinging has exposed an existing crack in your relationship, rather than you or your partner meeting the love of your life and being swept of their/your feet.
The second is more difficult to avoid. There is a limit to how well you can get to know the person you swing with. But there are "signposts" you can use to prevent it. For example, many swingers will tell you that kissing on the lips is not permitted (we do not permit it). This is considered to be by many a more intimate act than sex itself. It sets a boundary. There are more practical steps, like nobody ever gets Kits mobile phone number.
lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
There are more practical steps, like nobody ever gets Kits mobile phone number.
lhk
Kat
Thinks: Probably not a good time to ask Kat for Kit's mobile phone number. But she looked sooo good dusting and hoovering the GFZ in my vision of what was going on in there.......... Ah well!!
:lol: 
Sexpert
Personally I WANT a emotional attachment (of a kind with) the person who I may or not play with in the future.
I want to be intimate with a friend, someone who I know and respect and get along with in and out of bed.
I have not fallen in love and would not fall in love with a playmate, but if this person is not someone you like and get along with then what is the point, I might as well be posting "anyone fancy a shag, looks age height weight personality, etc not important. as long as you have a vagina im happy".
If you dont care about the person you swing with one way or another, you are not sharing something with them, you are taking something.
My wife knows I love her deeply, as she loves me deeply also, and she knows I know where I belong, and all she asks is that I'm home by bedtime with plenty of good loving left for her.
Everyone has doubts about everything in life from time to time, and I'm sure swinging is no different. To be human is to question and to doubt on occasion.
I want to be intimate with a friend, someone who I know and respect and get along with in and out of bed.
I have not fallen in love and would not fall in love with a playmate, but if this person is not someone you like and get along with then what is the point, I might as well be posting "anyone fancy a shag, looks age height weight personality, etc not important. as long as you have a vagina im happy".
If you dont care about the person you swing with one way or another, you are not sharing something with them, you are taking something.
My wife knows I love her deeply, as she loves me deeply also, and she knows I know where I belong, and all she asks is that I'm home by bedtime with plenty of good loving left for her.
Everyone has doubts about everything in life from time to time, and I'm sure swinging is no different. To be human is to question and to doubt on occasion.
Sex God
Shag 'em senseless and then kick 'em out is the way to avoid emotional attachments :twisted:
Seriously though, it is always possible to become emotionally attached to someone who have swung with (or not!), but to be honest this is very unlikely if you and your partner have a good relationship. Swinging brings partners in good relationship closer, but can wider any rifts that may be there in bad relationships. Bloody hell, I sound like Trisha, someone shoot me - PLEASE.
:shock:
Seriously though, it is always possible to become emotionally attached to someone who have swung with (or not!), but to be honest this is very unlikely if you and your partner have a good relationship. Swinging brings partners in good relationship closer, but can wider any rifts that may be there in bad relationships. Bloody hell, I sound like Trisha, someone shoot me - PLEASE.
:shock:
Well said Andy,
Although I have not et physically 'swung'. I am in agreement, I could never even touch anyone whom I was not attracted to in someway. Attraction is not made by someones looks, but more by their personality.
Also I feel that in all of this scene - discretion is extremely important for the vast majority. You can have more confidence in friends being discrete and considerate than perfect strangers.
Andy is someone with a big heart! If all had his sensibilities, the world would be a nicer place in my humble opinion.
Alex x x
Although I have not et physically 'swung'. I am in agreement, I could never even touch anyone whom I was not attracted to in someway. Attraction is not made by someones looks, but more by their personality.
Also I feel that in all of this scene - discretion is extremely important for the vast majority. You can have more confidence in friends being discrete and considerate than perfect strangers.
Andy is someone with a big heart! If all had his sensibilities, the world would be a nicer place in my humble opinion.
Alex x x
Sexpert
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: ....
{speechless, for a change}
Sexpert
Welllllllll..... I don't talk when I'm eating - would you like me to demonstrate?
Hum perhaps on request ;) but I dont talk.
Hum perhaps on request ;) but I dont talk.
we went swinging for the first time ever last weekend we are now riding an emotional roller coaster .At the time it was fantastic we joined in with a group and had lots of fun i had a lot more fun than him he found it hard to perform prematch nerves and to much drink alough he was egging me on all the way so i assumed he was loving it .The next morning we both cried and said it was awful . On the way home we had to stop in a layby to have wild we got home he said never again I felt really guilty and agreed with him sunday night we had more sex and both agreed what a turn on it had been .last night I watched ghost cried my eyes out and vowed never to share again .today he said he wants to go back next weekend for more but im not sure .i love him to bits and i would do anything for him and i know he loves me but lots of doubts are creeping in .now im wondering if he just wants to prove something help im going mad . sexy bifem 32 married to gorgeous man 
:cry: :P :? :idea: :?:
:cry: :P :? :idea: :?: Hiya Wkd.
Roller coaster is the right word. All I would say is, you should not go next weekend without being absolutly certain it is what you both want. Also, you should want it for YOURSELVES, not for each other. Sounds like you both need to talk some more.
Big Hugs
Kit
xxx
No, I will say one other thing. Probably every Swinging Couple on here has gone through what you are going through to one degree or other. I know Kat and I have, so do not think that the two of you have made a huge mistake. If nothing else, you have probably talked more and learned more about each other than at any period in your life.
Roller coaster is the right word. All I would say is, you should not go next weekend without being absolutly certain it is what you both want. Also, you should want it for YOURSELVES, not for each other. Sounds like you both need to talk some more.
Big Hugs
Kit
xxx
No, I will say one other thing. Probably every Swinging Couple on here has gone through what you are going through to one degree or other. I know Kat and I have, so do not think that the two of you have made a huge mistake. If nothing else, you have probably talked more and learned more about each other than at any period in your life.
Hey guys!
Take a deep breath wkdCPL - what you describe is a rollercoaster of emotions that many go through. I can remember the first experiences we had, some disasters that left Wilma feeling less "mumsie" than she wanted, "blips" which left us shaking and we had to call a halt to things etc.
But what we always did was talk it to death, and really discover what it was we liked and enjoyed and we are now completely confident with where we are, what we enjoy and who we enjoy it with.
We have even changed our minds about what it is we like and dislike as we have slowly explored the boundaries of our swinging. It changed every time we had a swing - good or bad! Our first experience was a complete nightmare - a party that was so OTT we left at 2:30 am thinking we had crossed into another dimension.
However, some of the friends we made early on in our swinging have fallen by the wayside and given it up because they failed to be able to do what they thought they could do. By that I mean they thought it through and said it would work but when bump came to grind all sorts of mental issues jumped up and stopped them. We still see them regularly and are great friends. They are jealous of where we are at times but are happier with their own relationship.
Take stock, take your time and if it don't feel right - it ain't right. There is o shame in saying "We tried it - but it is not for us" The only problem is - who apart from us can you tell!!!!!!
Good luck - we hope you find whatever it is you really want and that the blips and tears are not permanent. No relationship is worth damaging for a bit of fun.
All our Love and best wishes
Fred & Wilma
XXXXXXXXXX
Take a deep breath wkdCPL - what you describe is a rollercoaster of emotions that many go through. I can remember the first experiences we had, some disasters that left Wilma feeling less "mumsie" than she wanted, "blips" which left us shaking and we had to call a halt to things etc.
But what we always did was talk it to death, and really discover what it was we liked and enjoyed and we are now completely confident with where we are, what we enjoy and who we enjoy it with.
We have even changed our minds about what it is we like and dislike as we have slowly explored the boundaries of our swinging. It changed every time we had a swing - good or bad! Our first experience was a complete nightmare - a party that was so OTT we left at 2:30 am thinking we had crossed into another dimension.
However, some of the friends we made early on in our swinging have fallen by the wayside and given it up because they failed to be able to do what they thought they could do. By that I mean they thought it through and said it would work but when bump came to grind all sorts of mental issues jumped up and stopped them. We still see them regularly and are great friends. They are jealous of where we are at times but are happier with their own relationship.
Take stock, take your time and if it don't feel right - it ain't right. There is o shame in saying "We tried it - but it is not for us" The only problem is - who apart from us can you tell!!!!!!
Good luck - we hope you find whatever it is you really want and that the blips and tears are not permanent. No relationship is worth damaging for a bit of fun.
All our Love and best wishes
Fred & Wilma
XXXXXXXXXX
Thanks you lot thats just what I needed to hear .I did enjoy it at the time and feel it needs exploring more further .But i will take your advice and give next weekend a miss. one thing that put me in a turmoil was a girl who seemed to be there for the wrong reason she only did anything if her guy did "to get even" were her words and she kept telling me how if her man was like mine she wouldnt share him . Then after us saying we always stay together she had the cheek to try and lure him of on his own .
while i was moving the car. : 
while i was moving the car. :
Hi wkdcpl and the rest of the gang.
Me & Donna had to question our feelings after the first couple of swings, each time we discussed we admitted to ourselves that we both enjoyed it and like you had the most amazing sex afterwards.
We always go into it with our eyes opened and respect each others wishes, or doubts. NO matter how small they may be.
We hope you have many more pleasureable experiences and through time your panic turns to pleasure as it does for the genuine swingers that you will find in the days ahead.
Mark
Me & Donna had to question our feelings after the first couple of swings, each time we discussed we admitted to ourselves that we both enjoyed it and like you had the most amazing sex afterwards.
We always go into it with our eyes opened and respect each others wishes, or doubts. NO matter how small they may be.
We hope you have many more pleasureable experiences and through time your panic turns to pleasure as it does for the genuine swingers that you will find in the days ahead.
Mark
