Have you ever been in one of those situations where having to tell the truth can really hurt a friend. That old cruel to be kind scenario.
Its something I have had to do recently, and its caused a rift and we are now not talking. One day I really hope this rift will heal, as the person is someone I really care about, but couldnt stand by and not say how I really felt about the situation. It wasnt an easy decision to make to say what I had to say, but I felt I had to. :upset:
Have you ever been in this position? What did you do? How did things turn out?
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How the truth can hurt!
Sex God
I would love to say things but feel it better to keep quite.
sorry you had to fall out over your opinion, hoping you patch things up soon
it is never easy telling another person how you feel about their situation (always seems like your butting your nose in ) at least you tried to help most people would have let the situation run its course and at the end of it say i knew it would end in tears
if your relationship with the fallen out friend was truely strong then i would have thought time will bring you back together
it is never easy telling another person how you feel about their situation (always seems like your butting your nose in ) at least you tried to help most people would have let the situation run its course and at the end of it say i knew it would end in tears
if your relationship with the fallen out friend was truely strong then i would have thought time will bring you back together
Sex God
all depends on the scenario for me. If I feel that people are beinging victomized than I shall stand up & say my piece. If I feel the trueth may hurt others than, like Sarah, may keep my opinions to myself. What may hurt my feelings may not hurt other & vise versa.
Learned a big lesson myself about this just recently.
Learned a big lesson myself about this just recently.
Quote by redgirlmanc
Have you ever been in one of those situations where having to tell the truth can really hurt a friend. That old cruel to be kind scenario.
Its something I have had to do recently, and its caused a rift and we are now not talking. One day I really hope this rift will heal, as the person is someone I really care about, but couldnt stand by and not say how I really felt about the situation. It wasnt an easy decision to make to say what I had to say, but I felt I had to. :upset:
Have you ever been in this position? What did you do? How did things turn out?
Yes I have and I left it well alone for a long time. I lost a best friend of 12 years over it, but I stand by what I did because ultimately the person needed to be told ~ however painful it was for us both at the time.
We talk now, but there's no longer that closeness. I hope she understands why I did what I did, but we won't ever talk about it.
She's happy, I'm happy .... life worked out. I miss her a lot.
Cx
yes the truth hurts and is sometimes necessary, some friends will understand and appreciate that you have their best interests at heart, some wont. but it probably wont change the fact that they will make their own decisions and mistakes.
things happen within the first stages of the rift that make the rift a bit bigger, avoiding each other etc.
if the friendship is that strong and means that much to both parties, the rift will heal, i guess it depends on the stubborness of the two friends also
i hope it all works out in the end
Earthy xx
things happen within the first stages of the rift that make the rift a bit bigger, avoiding each other etc.
if the friendship is that strong and means that much to both parties, the rift will heal, i guess it depends on the stubborness of the two friends also
i hope it all works out in the end
Earthy xx
Sex God
If it has to be said it has to be said. No point not saying it just to keep the peace I could never live like that anyway. There is a situation brewing here right now where I am going to have to say some incredibly drastic things to a very close family member. I know that after I have said it there will be a rift. I know they wont listen, but what this will do is stop me having to deal with them in thier current situation. When they have seen sense I will help/listen again until they do my time is wasted on them.
I guess it depends on the situation and circumstances. I hate falling out with a friend ( did tonight funny enough but it was all resolved within an hour thankfully ) but sometimes things have to be said when there's no avoiding the issue.
It's a shame you and you're friend have fallen out over it. I hope you sort it out soon
It's a shame you and you're friend have fallen out over it. I hope you sort it out soon
Sex God
It takes a true friend to be able to speak up knowing it may hurt or cause a rift with someone you care about. It has happened to me with a friend of over 20 sitting down and thinking things over, I realised one of us would have to swallow our pride if our friendship was to get back on track. I left it for a couple of weeks then sent her a great big bunch of flowers. That was a very long time ago but it still sometimes crops up in conversation and she now thanks me for it. We both know now if the truth, no matter how hard it would be to take is called for, that we can say what we need to without falling out about it. I think it all depends on how long you have known this person and how strong your friendship was to start with.I hope it works out ok for you both, good luck
Sex God
It's a shame if friends fall out over something like this.
I think much depends on how ready the other person is to accept the truth. The problem arises when it seems they never will - in which case it may be better to say nothing. If they are nearly ready, but not quite seeing it, then it is an act of friendship to help them through it quicker.
I spelt out the truth to someone very close to me last night. As they had already inwardly realised the position but were just ignoring it - tears were shed but I think we can now move on.
I hope you have done the right thing and that things will repair.
.
I think much depends on how ready the other person is to accept the truth. The problem arises when it seems they never will - in which case it may be better to say nothing. If they are nearly ready, but not quite seeing it, then it is an act of friendship to help them through it quicker.
I spelt out the truth to someone very close to me last night. As they had already inwardly realised the position but were just ignoring it - tears were shed but I think we can now move on.
I hope you have done the right thing and that things will repair.
.
Hmmmm, its a difficult one isnt it.....?
I always work on the premise of what would hurt more,
a) Being told by someone that cares enough to tell you and has the ability to support and help to solve a problem or
b) Not being told and then finding out from someone else that a person you thought cared knew all along, but chose not to tell you?
I know which one i prefer.....and its not b.
Staffys xxxx
I always work on the premise of what would hurt more,
a) Being told by someone that cares enough to tell you and has the ability to support and help to solve a problem or
b) Not being told and then finding out from someone else that a person you thought cared knew all along, but chose not to tell you?
I know which one i prefer.....and its not b.
Staffys xxxx
Sexlightened
If its someone who you care about its very hard not to speak out if you feel there is no other way. Unfortunately it often takes time before that person can see that it was because of those feelings you have that you felt you had to say what was said and can take a while before the said person realises this. Very often though the damage has been done and the relationship is never quite the same.
So, do you? dont you? a very personal decision, so different for anyone in that position.
I hope you are both strong enough to work through this redgirlmanc :therethere:
Mrs G x
So, do you? dont you? a very personal decision, so different for anyone in that position.
I hope you are both strong enough to work through this redgirlmanc :therethere:
Mrs G x
It really depends on the actual circumstances and what it is your telling them, Say for an example if my best friends partner was cheating on them and i knew, would i tell them? well the answer is NO! why you may ask? because i've been there, done that, and also lost a friend through it, people in love tend to believe their partners first and by the time they do eventualy see sense the friendship is usualy beyond repair, that doesn't mean i would leave it at that, I would have a quiet word in the cheating partners ear, and if that didn't work then i'd send my friend an annonamous letter, The direct approach usualy does more harm than good, or certainly by my experience anyway.
