A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
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How to tell the sex of a fly
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Sex God
good one
Sex God
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Warming the Bed
gr8 joke best one ive heared all week 3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
.and she got outmale fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Quote by Debbiewebs
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Errrr... He knew or is is that TOO simple????? (I have had a bottle of wine though!!!!)
Quote by AlexClaireSX
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Errrr... He knew or is is that TOO simple????? (I have had a bottle of wine though!!!!)
nope!.....but good gusse ..... :smile2:
NEXT
Sexpert
Quote by Debbiewebs
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
im no good at solving these things' so come on tell us?
Quote by reddog
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
im no good at solving these things' so come on tell us?
OK.................................. Give me a bit :hump: and i will tell you :rotflmao:
Sexpert
it had to be me to ask 
ops: :oops:
ops: :oops: Orgasminator
Quote by Debbiewebs
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Do we get the answer or are you going to leave us in suspense all night?
Put us out our misery so I can go to sleep please.
Quote by littlemee
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Do we get the answer or are you going to leave us in suspense all night?
Put us out our misery so I can go to sleep please.
FFS littlemee..............lol
Are you sure you're from Chesterfield??
Quote by Marcuso
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Do we get the answer or are you going to leave us in suspense all night?
Put us out our misery so I can go to sleep please.
FFS littlemee..............lol
Are you sure you're from Chesterfield??
Everyone else in Chesterfield says it's just you who's the twat.
They were close, it appears, but wrong.
I know its not flies but i thought this one was quite good
An American tourist goes on a trip to China.
While there, he is sexually promiscuous and doesn't use a condom.
A week after arriving home, he finds his penis is covered with bright green spots. Horrified, he goes to see his doctor.
Days later the doctor calls and says, "I've got bad news. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare. We know little about it. We have to amputate your penis."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines him and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD."
"What can you do?" asks the man. "My American doctor wants to amputate!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctors always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes!" says the Chinese doctor. "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!"
An American tourist goes on a trip to China.
While there, he is sexually promiscuous and doesn't use a condom.
A week after arriving home, he finds his penis is covered with bright green spots. Horrified, he goes to see his doctor.
Days later the doctor calls and says, "I've got bad news. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare. We know little about it. We have to amputate your penis."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines him and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD."
"What can you do?" asks the man. "My American doctor wants to amputate!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctors always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes!" says the Chinese doctor. "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!"
TY, LMFAO and woke my wife up ( soory love I thought it was worth it! ), so here's my contribution
Man on business in Thailand, gets horny picks up a prostitute and during sex he starts hammering away like a shit house door in a gale and she starts screaming out " RON HO, RON HO! " and this incites him to his best ever performance.
Next morning on the golf course for another meeting, he tees off and gets a hole in one and remembering the previous night shouts out with joy " RON HO " and his playing partner asks " What do mean, it's the wrong hole? " :shock:
:lol:
( soory love I thought it was worth it! ), so here's my contributionMan on business in Thailand, gets horny picks up a prostitute and during sex he starts hammering away like a shit house door in a gale and she starts screaming out " RON HO, RON HO! " and this incites him to his best ever performance.
Next morning on the golf course for another meeting, he tees off and gets a hole in one and remembering the previous night shouts out with joy " RON HO " and his playing partner asks " What do mean, it's the wrong hole? " :shock:
:lol: Orgasminator
Quote by Vix
3 flys stuck in a milk bottel.......1 male fly... 2 fems flys
the male fly says to one of the fem fly . ....do you want to get out
the fem fly says yes please
male fly says............ give me a bit and i will show you!.....so she had a abit
male fly went up to the 2nd fly and says do you want to get out............ yes says the 2nd fem fly.......
male fly says give me a bit and i will show you!.. so she gave him a bit :hump: .....and then helps the fem fly out
Now tell me how did the male fly get out?
Do we get the answer or are you going to leave us in suspense all night?
Put us out our misery so I can go to sleep please.
FFS littlemee..............lol
Are you sure you're from Chesterfield??
Everyone else in Chesterfield says it's just you who's the twat.
They were close, it appears, but wrong.
I hold my hands up.
I am a twat.
I didn't see the answer posted but it had been a long day.
Humble apologies. Will I ever be forgiven?
And no, I'm not from Chesterfield. I just live near to it.
I'm just a thick Southerner who couldn't stand the M25.
