i feel like a freak!!! why????

5 Oct 2004

alot of you on here know me or about me, all my good friends know im a tranny and everyone treats me no different but why do i still feel like a freak?? weirdo?? sad

:(
i look at postings on here and sometimes i feel i dont fit in,that you all only PUT up with me cause im with bluexxx.
im bi yes,but i prefer women, i just prefer to have sex with a woman whilst im wearing stockings,suspenders that make me weird??
most of my life ive been branded with all sorts of bad names,some girls ive met in the past have even called me a ,child abuser,mentaly ill all cause i told them im a tranny.
im so lucky to have blue we understand each other and she has helped me in ways i cannot put into words she gives me all the support and encouragement i could ask of one person. i know it turns her on when im wearing my lingerie.
but when we meet other couples i get the feeling that they just put up with me that they find me weird even if the bloke is bi they seem to touch only the parts of my body NOT covered by satin,silk or stockings its like they might catch something.
ive been dressing from the age of 11yrs old my first pair or panties i stole from my next doors washing line,im 36 in a few weeks and still have days like today where i feel like a freak.
i go to a fetish club once a month where i have been going for two years now,they all know me there its like going to my local now, but even the next day i wonder if people there take the piss after i have gone.
i have suffered a lot of abuse even been by two men. over the years but i dont want to blame that for me feeling a freak cause not many people have it easy and there are alot of people a lot worse of than me in this world.
i know i shouldnt care what people think but i cant help it i DO.
i find it easier to talk to women than men,i have more girl friends than male friends i feel i connect easier with girls,when im trying to have a conversation with abloke and he starts all the macho bullshit i try to join in but inside i hate it and i end up just wishing they would fuck off.
i try and keep in shape so that when i dress up i look as good as i can.i guess i was born to early where this is the 21st centry but attitudes are still 18th centry, maybe in 50years time i would be considered normal.
i guess i want just as many females to find me, the real stockings suspenders me attractive and shagable.
thanks for listening

5 Oct 2004

Hugs Satin ..... honey if you and Blue are happy then that is all that counts. I will happily admit that prior to seeing those fantastic pics I had never seen a man dressed so erotically as a woman ... honey they were delightful to see and extremely erotic ... I'm not scared to say that I got quite turned on looking at them ...
You looked fabulous at the Munch and extremely attractive and I am positive that I am not the only woman on here who feels the same.
I can't see anything that you are doing wrong at all ..... well the stirrings I've had prove that for me ;)
passionkiss

5 Oct 2004

Satin theres nothing wrong with you and what youve just written shows a perfectly well adjusted person and completely because you like to dress up means absolutely nothing and it doesnt hurt you are doing is expressing what you are and Blue and a lot of the rest of us here know that.
I know that both me and Clare think your great and it's got nothing to do with the fact that your Blues partner.I admire you for having the guts to show your true self,which is something that a lot of people try and hide.
Satin your obviously a really nice bloke,it's a shame we didnt really get to properly meet you at the munch and couldnt come to Blues party,but we will meet you soon hopefully and have a chat.

5 Oct 2004

Satin
I've known you probably longer than anyone else on here and I have no problems with you in whatever you wear or whatever you do. I know you as someone who does things different to me, but so what? I know you as satin and as your alter ego, Clarke Kent, but you're still the same GUY to me. I've had conversations with you because of who you are, not because of your association with Blue, although admittedly it was through her that we met. You have as much right to speak your mind on here as anyone. In fact moreso, 'cos at least you know how to behave on here (wonder where you learnt that from?).
Just be you, Satin, and don't worry about what you imagine people are saying. You could drive yourself round the bend with paranoia thinking about it. If you don't hear it, it can't hurt you. If you do hear it, you can defend yourself. Just come in here in whichever guise you feel comfortable with - we don't mind.
Mal
wink

5 Oct 2004

Morning Satin.I don't know you and neither have I met you,but I admire you immensly for making that may have seen some of my depressive posts of late so I know what it's like to make posts that are not "fun".
You hit the nail on the head when you talked about your partner,you are so lucky to have her."Your sexuality is your concern" is the current pc mantra,but everybody has the right to feel unhappy with theirs now and again.I am straight but exteremely sexual and sometimes I think THAT'S a curse,I think sometimes i could settle down with a nice quiet woman and live happily ever after,I'v tried it ,it doesn't work for me.
You have found a niche in your lfestyle that enables you to express your sexuality,you should be able to celebrate it.
You are NOT a freak and you are not alone
I hope you feel better soon
LB

5 Oct 2004

I have to say I think you look fantastic too, and I'd certainly see nothing wrong in expessing how you feel or want to be.................being unique is what makes us all special passionkiss

I've never been with a guy in lingerie, but I find the idea very sexy and I hope to try sometime :twisted:
Charlotte xx

5 Oct 2004

Satin you are gorgeous - don't ever change.

5 Oct 2004

Hi Satin,
Be who you are, take support from those who you know to be friends and as for anyone else...f*** em.

5 Oct 2004

Satin, dah-ling,
I think you are incredible! I love trannies and have done since I first encountered one, on stage at a local night club. He was beautiful. 6 foot-odd tall and just... beautiful. I was transfixed (no pun intended).
I have never had the chance to accost a tranny in the flesh, as it were, but you know... I go and look at your photo site and get incredibly, marvellously turned on. Last time I went to look, I had to drag Reese into bed. I said "I need to steal you for a while". I did tell him that it was your fault, afterwards. redface

Please, don't feel a freak... let me do it for you!

5 Oct 2004

hi satin we have never met in person but i my self thing your fantastic i am bi male and have crossdressed on occasions to but never looked as good as you your the top pleaseee dont allow convension to force you to change stay as just the wat you are if your happy and blue is happy to accept you that way to hell with the rest LEE

5 Oct 2004

See..........
That's the trouble with this country, people are too quick to judge other people if they do anything out of the norm.
It seems it is not in our culture to get to know people before making decisions about thier life or lifestyle. We are far to judgemental for our own good.
This I find hurts the people whom are at the receiving end of the ridicule.
Satan I feel for your situation, you must be strong and rise above all of the aggression against you.
I know that Blue is giving all the support that one can.
You know that friends on here will always be here for you.
(hope this comes over how it's ment to)

5 Oct 2004

Satin i hope this reads right . . . . but you are not tolerated. i for one have huge respect for you. i know others feel the same.
in the wider "straight" society, much of what goes on here and in the fetish scene would probably be described by many as freakish and condemned, whether out of fear, ignorance or even a little envy. and though we'd all hope that here at least more open attitudes would exist, i guess some of that comes into play here too. i don't see any escape from that in the near future unfortunately. but just because some people see it possibly as "freakish" it doesn't make it so. and i hope you don't let their issues become yours.
i think we all have elements to our sexuality that some will not understand, but as long as we are happy with them, their opinion and lack of appreciation is no loss to ourselves. being able to express your sexuality to the full, is a valuable thing, and all too often denied and repressed.
Satin you looked fantastic at the munch, and many said so. you looked very sexy at the party, and many have said so since. i'm looking forward to your next outfit when we meet again! ;)
neil x x x x x

5 Oct 2004

OK I'll try and reply to this a section at a time, but if I go off at a tangent I appologise....

Quote by satin
a lot of you on here know me or about me, all my good friends know im a tranny and everyone treats me no different but why do i still feel like a freak?? weirdo?? :(
i look at postings on here and sometimes i feel i dont fit in,that you all only PUT up with me cause im with bluexxx.

OK if that were true surely we would shun Judy as well? For all I know you could be a builder from Kent masquerading as Blues other half (I know your not, but you get the idea). I've read your posts and I accept that the person posting them is the real you and accept you because of it. TBH I don't really care what you do, all I need to know is that you're a decent, caring, understanding person and that's good enough for me.

Quote by satin
im bi yes,but i prefer women, i just prefer to have sex with a woman whilst im wearing stockings,suspenders that make me weird??

Nope. It makes you not the "norm". Lots of people shun or ridicule others just because they don't conform with their idea of "normal". It's just basic bullying combined with ignorance and it seems like ignorance is on the increase again.

Quote by satin
most of my life ive been branded with all sorts of bad names,some girls ive met in the past have even called me a ,child abuser,mentaly ill all cause i told them im a tranny.
im so lucky to have blue we understand each other and she has helped me in ways i cannot put into words she gives me all the support and encouragement i could ask of one person. i know it turns her on when im wearing my lingerie.
but when we meet other couples i get the feeling that they just put up with me that they find me weird even if the bloke is bi they seem to touch only the parts of my body NOT covered by satin,silk or stockings its like they might catch something.

I think maybe this is your own self doubt creeping in. I can understand why. It's incredable hard to be an individual now. People's lack of tollerance of others sometimes disgusts me, but I take it you're genuine in your ad about being a TV, so I doubt that they only tollerate you, but maybe you're expecting too much from the encounter. Can I ask are you expecting the same level of intamacy from the encounter that you share with Blue? I doubt that you will find it with others unless you find someone you share a prolonged relationship with.

Quote by satin
ive been dressing from the age of 11yrs old my first pair or panties i stole from my next doors washing line,im 36 in a few weeks and still have days like today where i feel like a freak.
i go to a fetish club once a month where i have been going for two years now,they all know me there its like going to my local now, but even the next day i wonder if people there take the piss after i have gone.
i have suffered a lot of abuse even been by two men. over the years but i dont want to blame that for me feeling a freak cause not many people have it easy and there are alot of people a lot worse of than me in this world.
i know i shouldnt care what people think but i cant help it i DO.

Yep the people at the club are probably talking about you. They're saying what a great person you are (and, as Countess pointed out at the NW Munch),what a bitch you are for having better legs than most of the women there. rolleyes

.
Unfortunately most of us don't live in a bubble isolated from society, so at some point we have to interact with others. If we have a thick skin that we tend to just clump through life, but if we're inteligent, articulate and sensative then we tend to feel the knock and bumps that life throws at us more. If we also don't conform to social "norms" and suffer from a lack of self-confidence then the pain of interaction can be almost unbearable (ask Judy how many suicides she's seen within the community because of the pressure it brings).

Quote by satin
i find it easier to talk to women than men,i have more girl friends than male friends i feel i connect easier with girls,when im trying to have a conversation with abloke and he starts all the macho bullshit i try to join in but inside i hate it and i end up just wishing they would fuck off.
i try and keep in shape so that when i dress up i look as good as i can.i guess i was born to early where this is the 21st centry but attitudes are still 18th centry, maybe in 50years time i would be considered normal.
i guess i want just as many females to find me, the real stockings suspenders me attractive and shagable.
thanks for listening

It seems to me that you've been through a tough time through the years and as such you bear the emotional scars that go along with that. It's like a form of social abuse, where if you don't fit in with others ideas, then you're "beaten" by society until you either give up and conform or you start to fight back and stop giving a crap about others opinions. Either option can leave you feeling unhappy either because you're not being who you want to be or because you're constantly battling the world and loosing friends and allies along the way. I do hope there will be a balance some time in the future, but I doubt we'll ever see it. The human race is to quick to find differences within others and far to quick to use them to gain an upper hand and I doubt very much that this will ever change.

5 Oct 2004

Satin
You look great mate !! Don't change .
Your friends accept you and that is all that matters.
Derek
As for the rest of them ? flipa

5 Oct 2004

Satin, i havent met you, but believe me, you dont seem like a freak!! Everyone has different things that make them happy, (give me a pot of Haagen Dazs and a glass of pink champagne and i'm yours!!) and you just feel comfortable in stockings and sexy underwear! it's up to you what you do, why should anyone try and take that away from you???
If i'm honest, i was really freaked out at the SMB, purely because i had a somewhat narrow mind, i thought TV's werent that common, i got there and there were THOUSANDS!!! But, i wasnt freaked out in an "Oh my God, thats disgusting" way, it just made me realise that more people are becoming able to express themselves in a way in which they're comfortable!
If people are rude, nasty, or hateful towards you, then theyre only scared beacuse they dont understand you. It's pathetic, if you're happy doing what you're doing, then keep going, its what the people you love and care about think that matters, and believe me, NOBODY on here that matters thinks you're a freak, weirdo, , child abuser or anything disgusting that you've been called before. We see you as a person with a great personality who just happens to be comfortable in sexy underwear. i feel more comfortable in my oldest pink pajamas than anything else, but i dont see people taking the piss out of me for that!! Whats the difference????
Just keep your chin up and ignore the dickheads who are too narrow minded and childish to see you for who you really are. what you wear is totally insignificant, its who you are INSIDE that matters. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

5 Oct 2004

You are as welcome here as the next guy/girl/tv/cd/ts or any other abreviation you could think of..
Dont fret it.....Ignore the idiots and just do your own thing and be happy doing it
biggrin

:D
Edited to correct my shitty spelling redface

5 Oct 2004

Quote by dazandlou
i feel more comfortable in my oldest pink pajamas than anything else, but i dont see people taking the piss out of me for that!!

Reckon?

OK, ok, I'm sorry.

5 Oct 2004

Satin we love as you are
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with you. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.
And if people cant understand thats their problem not yours babes
Your not weird your a lovely guy dont ever change
and you look a lot sexier in lingerie than me im envious
Vicky xxx

5 Oct 2004

Who cares what anybody else thinks!! If youre happy then that I think is what everyones indivudual goal should be!!
Theres too many diversities in the world at times to feel completely accepted though why worry??
Better to be true to yourself! X

5 Oct 2004

Good for you mate. If we were all the same it would be such a boring world. Be yourself, be confident.
RESPECT.

5 Oct 2004

Satin.. I think you look bloody gorgeous as both sides of you!!!! I never even knew I was turned on by men in womens underwear untill I saw your site.. even more so when I saw you dressed up!! And as for ppl avoiding the parts of your body covered in lingerie... cast your mind back to Blue's party.. and just remember where devil_in_parts hands were mainly roaming!!! :twisted: :twisted:

5 Oct 2004

Satin,
Having met you at a NW Munch all I can say is you are better adjusted than a lot of us on this forum and I think quite a few would agree with me on that.
We all need our own "diversions" whatever they may be.

5 Oct 2004

Satin when i first sew your pic!.......i was truly jealous ......and wished the MR Debs dressed like that!.............................but let me say this to ya!.........................The ones that cannot except you!..are the ones that have the problems! ok..................Peeps will talk behind your back..they are called prudes!
Don't let them get you down and beat you!.................other wise they are winning!............i cannot imagine the pain and frustration you have been through!..........peeps can be so bloody crewl!...........so stick some of these up at them! flipa

:flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa:
And do some of these :kissmyarse: :kissmyarse: :kissmyarse: :kissmyarse: :kissmyarse:
Now.....OK!................i think you will see with the amount of replys you have got that we all love ya for who you are!......your great!.......and dont forget it!
Love ya
Debbsxxxxxxxxxxx passionkiss

assionkiss:

5 Oct 2004

Hi satin, i do not know you apart from your posts on here and I can say you are definately not a 'FREAK OR WIERDO'. After seeing your piccies I was rather wet and horny, if you no what I mean! wink

Its a big turn on to most women to find a man that is as much in touch with his feminine side as his masculine one. I for one think you have courage and guts to be yourself when most people hide behind closed doors.
Its society that are freaks NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Oct 2004

Quote by satin
why do i still feel like a freak?? weirdo??

You are a freak! All you have to do is embrace the fact that being a freak is a GOOD thing, it's what makes you different, interesting, better than the millions of dull, average people out there who won't do anything out of the ordinary in their whole boring lives.
In every field of human endeavour, it's the freaks, the wierdos, the misfits who push mankind on to greater achievements by not conforming to the norm.
The reason I jumped at the chance to go to your party is not because I want to get to bluexxx, or to get to you, or any of the other guests for that matter, and it's not because I'm a voyeur, or a sex-maniac, or anything else like that... it's because I'm keenly aware that I'm not as much of a freak as I would like to be, and I'm hoping that some of the concentrated freakiness there will rub off on me!
Be different. Be interesting. Be proud!

5 Oct 2004

Satin I meet with a guy I know called Ken once every two months and we have great fun. He is dressed in silk and stockings the full works and he looks great, feels great and fucks great! And I love to feel his stocking covered legs I adore it.
So hun be sure to know there are people out there who adore you for being you, no pretence, no hiding just you being you and us loving you for it!

5 Oct 2004

I have to admit i aint read through all of this thread.... but from what i have read... NO Satin you are not a freak... I asked if i could come to your birthday party purely to meet you and Bluexxx because i like the fact that you's are comfortable with who you's are.
i just hope that in time i won't always be trying to hide the fact that I love sex and different ppl
redface

5 Oct 2004

Satin,its such a shame that you feel this way hun.
You are in no way shape or form a freak,you are simply you.
Unfortunately we live in a society today that isnt half as tolerant as it makes out to be.
As far as im concerned i like you because your you not because Blues your partner.
Your posts are thoughtful and funny,your pics are so very horny and i think you look the munch you looked amazing and i only wish that i could look that good dressed up like that :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

5 Oct 2004

for Satin
:inlove:

5 Oct 2004

I would consider myself a really good looking young lad but I really have trouble in getting that crartain lady.
So they might see me as strange but am not in the end Donnie Darko is the Hero.
Stay strong my friend & I'll see you in Nottingham.