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I havent had sex...

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biggrin this post has really cheered me up..I've only been without a week and a half..and tonites lookin good :twisted: wink
Quote by marmalaid
This is was what I got at the hotel on my way to breakfast last weekend in Amsterdam.

Can you recommend a good pointy stick supplier?
Chris

Dear Mr marmalaid,
Until you find a the good pointy stick supplier, please - no - PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, allow me to offer my services to you.
I would unreservedly be willing to put myself between you and the obvious clear and present dangers you face under such circumstance.
I remain Sir, your obedient servant.
db
SH Security
I shall be trying my luck again later but i think i've got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag than getting anything tonite :cry:
Quote by mr filth
I shall be trying my luck again later but i think i've got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag than getting anything tonite :cry:

You and I must have attended the same School of Charm, Filth.
Last time a girl asked me to do something dirty, that's exactly what I did . . . . .
I shat in her handbag !
Quote by dambuster
I shall be trying my luck again later but i think i've got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag than getting anything tonite :cry:

You and I must have attended the same School of Charm, Filth.
Last time a girl asked me to do something dirty, that's exactly what I did . . . . .
I shat in her handbag !
pure dirtyness redface :P
. . . . . and you don't want to know what I did when a girl asked me to give her 12" and make her bleed ! !
Quote by dambuster
. . . . . and you don't want to know what I did when a girl asked me to give her 12" and make her bleed ! !

bolt
Quote by dambuster
. . . . . and you don't want to know what I did when a girl asked me to give her 12" and make her bleed ! !

*pricks up ears and gets alllllllllll interested* :twisted:
rotflmao :rotflmao:
Quote by dambuster
This is was what I got at the hotel on my way to breakfast last weekend in Amsterdam.

Can you recommend a good pointy stick supplier?
Chris

Dear Mr marmalaid,
Until you find a the good pointy stick supplier, please - no - PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, allow me to offer my services to you.
I would unreservedly be willing to put myself between you and the obvious clear and present dangers you face under such circumstance.
I remain Sir, your obedient servant.
db
SH Security
It's a deal, my good man. Report for duty tomorrow morning and don't forget the frascati!
Quote by cerunnos
. . . . . and you don't want to know what I did when a girl asked me to give her 12" and make her bleed ! !

This is that really old joke isn't it...
You gave her a ruler and punched her in the nose?
xxx
Almost . . .
I fucked her twice and smacked in the nose !
Alright ffs - It was thriceredface
Quote by dambuster
. . . . . and you don't want to know what I did when a girl asked me to give her 12" and make her bleed ! !

This is that really old joke isn't it...
You gave her a ruler and punched her in the nose?
xxx
Almost . . .
I fucked her twice and smacked in the nose !
the old ones are the best...circa 1880 i think pmsl
Alright ffs - It was thriceredface
Quote by PrincessSwallows
O0o0o PUUUUUHLEASE!
I havnt had sex since the begging of SEPTEMBER, yes September I hear you cry Poor woman!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sad

why not ?
Quote by SXBOY
O0o0o PUUUUUHLEASE!
I havnt had sex since the begging of SEPTEMBER, yes September I hear you cry Poor woman!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sad

why not ?
yeah why not ??????????
Quote by PrincessSwallows
Hubby posted away! sad

Hello Hun xx
lol :lol: It's OK for him up there, he has the sheep wink
phredd
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.
Quote by Emily
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.

CSB ? :dunno
Probably being very thick.........:
Quote by triptix
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.

CSB ? :dunno
Probably being very thick.........:
I don't know either redface
Quote by SXBOY
Try being a married man . . . some of them go for months without a shag lol wink
T-J

its the cure for blow jobs as well supposedly
Not in my marriage . . . :twisted:
T-J
Quote by RedHot
Try being a married man . . . some of them go for months without a shag lol wink
T-J

its the cure for blow jobs as well supposedly
Not in my marriage . . . :twisted:
T-J
I've just looked at your pages, why do I live so far away from Dorset. The piccies are fab, trouble is I've got a hard on again redface
Quote by Baggy Boy
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.

CSB ? :dunno
Probably being very thick.........:
I don't know either redface
Oh, sorry, CSB = Compulsive Sexual Behaviour = sex addiction
Quote by Emily
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.

I'm not surprised if that is you in the avatar, has there been a queue?
Quote by Emily
Oh, sorry, CSB = Compulsive Sexual Behaviour = sex addiction

That's nowt new . . . we've all got that on here. Just that we don't label ourselves :P
Tracy-Jayne
Quote by flapjackboy
for 2 weeks :cry: Maybe i should change my name to 'Mr really really clean' rolleyes

2 weeks? I'd love to have not had sex for only 2 weeks. Try 3 years, (and counting):roll:

I masterbate ... but then I am terrified of atrophy :scared:
Quote by Emily
I'm CSB so can kinda empathise even tho the longest I've gone without in the last 5 years is 2 days.

CSB ? :dunno
Probably being very thick.........:
I don't know either redface
Oh, sorry, CSB = Compulsive Sexual Behaviour = sex addiction
Phoenix calculates travelling time from Staffordshire to London
Hey, I can be there in 3.5 hours wink