I never knew that

1 Jan 2005

A while back the sarge made an important discovery...............emoticons move!...yep truely, he never knew it for the first six months on here, something about his P.C. settings preventing it from happening....
Now only today I made a discovery.......after oh.....several years of struggling to remove C.D's and recently D.V.D's from the case and never understanding why the fLuckers made em fit so tight, a niece who is 8 years old, got impatient with me trying to get a DVD out for her to watch, snatched it from my fingers, pushed the plastic bit in the middle that I have been doing battle with all these years and ...hey presto, the bloody DVD simply falls out :shock: ....had no idea redface

the rest of the world has kept this simple thing a secret from me.
So my point is ....have you discovered something that every one else seems to know already.....

1 Jan 2005

:lol: :lol:
Dave all I can say is >>>>>
................... LOL
Fred

1 Jan 2005

I discovered that when you make a cornflour and water mix, to thicken up gravy, you have to stir it slowly. If you stir it fast...it resists the stiring action....if to tap the mixture with your finger it feels almost solid....but if you sink you finger in slowly, it is as thin as water.....facinating stuff...I know there is a name for mixtures that act like this but cant remember the name...
But it is worth trying if you have never noticed it...
And yes, I am painfully aware of how sad this discovery is...... rolleyes

1 Jan 2005

Quote by davej
A while back the sarge made an important discovery...............emoticons move!...yep truely, he never knew it for the first six months on here, something about his P.C. settings preventing it from happening....
Now only today I made a discovery.......after oh.....several years of struggling to remove C.D's and recently D.V.D's from the case and never understanding why the fLuckers made em fit so tight, a niece who is 8 years old, got impatient with me trying to get a DVD out for her to watch, snatched it from my fingers, pushed the plastic bit in the middle that I have been doing battle with all these years and ...hey presto, the bloody DVD simply falls out :shock: ....had no idea the rest of the world has kept this simple thing a secret from me.
So my point is ....have you discovered something that every one else seems to know already.....

:doh:
that's given us a giggle :twisted:

1 Jan 2005

My discovery of the day is
davej your as funny this year as you were last year lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Dawn :silly:

1 Jan 2005

If you answer the door with your trousers undone and gaping the delivery guys hands will shake and he will drop all his money in the dark redface

:shock:

:twisted:
Nice vindaloo this is....mmmmmmmmm

1 Jan 2005

Quote by luv2lick
I discovered that when you make a cornflour and water mix, to thicken up gravy, you have to stir it slowly. If you stir it fast...it resists the stiring action....if to tap the mixture with your finger it feels almost solid....but if you sink you finger in slowly, it is as thin as water.....facinating stuff...I know there is a name for mixtures that act like this but cant remember the name...

Its called Thixotropic Lick

1 Jan 2005

1 Jan 2005

Quote by gurl
If you answer the door with your trousers undone and gaping the delivery guys hands will shake and he will drop all his money in the dark :shock: :twisted:

Yes...and if you answer just in your underwear thinking it is your friend you were expecting then the man who comes to read the meter get very toungue tied and trips over things.
And do you ever get the feeling that they are not looking you in the eye whilst talking to you?
rotflmao

I thought the no eye contact thing was because I don't wear burberry.
But then back in the kitchen :shock:

1 Jan 2005

Quote by gurl
If you answer the door with your trousers undone and gaping the delivery guys hands will shake and he will drop all his money in the dark :shock: :twisted:

Yes...and if you answer just in your underwear thinking it is your friend you were expecting then the man who comes to read the meter get very toungue tied and trips over things.
And do you ever get the feeling that they are not looking you in the eye whilst talking to you?
Oh great....Now I have a decision to make...Do I start a new career as a delivery boy or as a meter reader...... rolleyes

1 Jan 2005

Another discovery made not this christmas but the one before....
Christmas eve and normally we are ready for the arrival of the wifes sister and family.....one of the preperations being the blowing up of a double sized air bed for the kids to sleep on, it was a job that I dreaded every year.
There is the typical valve arrangement where you put your lips to the thing, bite gently to keep the valve open and blow like a mad thing for over an hour, excluding breaks, leaving me exhausted. It was a totally debilitating job that a 20 a day smoker, is simply not best suited to. Alongside this valve is a much bigger hole with a bung in it, which I have always used to release the air quickly several days later.
The discovery I made, when I hadn't prepared it before the brother in law arrived and saw what I was doing, was that the large hole that I had only ever used to expel the air is also used to blow the fLuckin thing up by useing a hair dryer on a cool setting. This inflats the bed in under a minute and takes no more effort than bending down to plug it in. redface

1 Jan 2005

Took me ages to discover that the thing at the bottom left of my computer screen that says "Start" is in fact the way out. Should be clearly marked as "Exit"
dunno

ops:

1 Jan 2005

Well, I have just discovered that after three vodkas I need sometone to check my postings on this site causemy typing is not that good lol

:lol: :lol:

1 Jan 2005

Dinosaurs !
The discovery is a scientific one , and its proven in exhaustive study .
Dinosaurs are fat in the middle and thin at the ends .

1 Jan 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Dinosaurs !
The discovery is a scientific one , and its proven in exhaustive study .
Dinosaurs are fat in the middle and thin at the ends .

fat in the middle? thin at both ends?...........davej looks across at mrs davej lying on the sofa and wonders if the natural history museum will fall for it......

1 Jan 2005

:shock: davej that is nasty!!!

1 Jan 2005

Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
:shock: davej that is nasty!!!

you've seen her as well :shock:

1 Jan 2005

:lol: :lol:

1 Jan 2005

Quote by davej
fat in the middle? thin at both ends?...........davej looks across at mrs davej lying on the sofa and wonders if the natural history museum will fall for it......

Hmmm....me finks me knows now why you live in Kent during the week rotflmao

1 Jan 2005

Been in touch by phone with my colleagues at the Nat History Museum Dave . They would be interested in examining the Mrsjasaurus but want to know if she is a live specimen or are we talking fossilised ??

1 Jan 2005

Quote by ant140
I discovered that when you make a cornflour and water mix, to thicken up gravy, you have to stir it slowly. If you stir it fast...it resists the stiring action....if to tap the mixture with your finger it feels almost solid....but if you sink you finger in slowly, it is as thin as water.....facinating stuff...I know there is a name for mixtures that act like this but cant remember the name...

Its called Thixotropic Lick
You can do this with custard too, if you are quick you can even walk on it, but stop and you sink!

1 Jan 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Been in touch by phone with my colleagues at the Nat History Museum Dave . They would be interested in examining the Mrsjasaurus but want to know if she is a live specimen or are we talking fossilised ??

It's a job to tell....there was fLuck all response when I mentioned a cup of tea over an hour ago, I'm too frightened to lean across and give her a nudge so I guess I will have to just do the time honoured test of going in the kitchen, making myself some toast and then seeing if the minute I sit my arse back down she springs back into life with ......where's mine then?

1 Jan 2005

I found out today that if i leave hornyred waiting in the rain for me to arrive in the car to pick her up,,,,,,she becomes quite irrate , violent, abusive and needless to say ,wet ! .I will not do it again,,ever sad

1 Jan 2005

Quote by MQ
You can do this with custard too, if you are quick you can even walk on it, but stop and you sink!

.....if only Birds and Ambrosia were around a few thousand years ago....the big book could have read so different.

1 Jan 2005

Quote by davej
Been in touch by phone with my colleagues at the Nat History Museum Dave . They would be interested in examining the Mrsjasaurus but want to know if she is a live specimen or are we talking fossilised ??

It's a job to tell....there was fLuck all response when I mentioned a cup of tea over an hour ago, I'm too frightened to lean across and give her a nudge so I guess I will have to just do the time honoured test of going in the kitchen, making myself some toast and then seeing if the minute I sit my arse back down she springs back into life with ......where's mine then?
That is of course a foolproof way mate , and as you say time honoured , but its long winded . What I like to do is just keep a piece of tinfoil ( the kind they wrap chocolate in) and rustle it a little . That usually shows signs of life .

1 Jan 2005

I hate it when mr naughty does that!!!!!

1 Jan 2005

Quote by hornyred and dino
I found out today that if i leave hornyred waiting in the rain for me to arrive in the car to pick her up,,,,,,she becomes quite irrate , violent, abusive and needless to say ,wet ! .I will not do it again,,ever

I reckon the trick here D mate would be to hide all her clothes except the white cotton items during the winter . Then after getting soaked through she would at least brighten the day of any passing men and by reflection the attention would have her damp but beaming when you arrived late .

1 Jan 2005

Quote by davej
Been in touch by phone with my colleagues at the Nat History Museum Dave . They would be interested in examining the Mrsjasaurus but want to know if she is a live specimen or are we talking fossilised ??

It's a job to tell....there was fLuck all response when I mentioned a cup of tea over an hour ago, I'm too frightened to lean across and give her a nudge so I guess I will have to just do the time honoured test of going in the kitchen, making myself some toast and then seeing if the minute I sit my arse back down she springs back into life with ......where's mine then?
looks over at calista sprawled on the sofa ..............
Hey Davej ... I think I might have a specimen of the Mrsjasaurus if that is one of the identifing traits :shock:
Fecking annoying ... she'll sit all night dying of thirst waiting for me to move so she can say "make a drink whilst you're up!" .... never occurs to her to move herself mad

and take away food is another prime example ... you ask if they want anything and they say no ... you ask if they are sure and they say yes "i'm not hungry" or "i don't fancy anything" ... and the minute you sit down with said food .. they pinch half to eat themselves :shock: :x

1 Jan 2005

If i learned one thing from my Father ( and I didnt I learned loads) it was how to make two completely different cups of tea .
Following the " Tea Raptor" mating call of ' make me one while youre up' immediately return with the recognised reply of ' sure honey'.
Then proceed to the kitchen and do as follows :-
Put kettle on , take two cups- one must be chipped . Remove two club choccie biscuits from the tin . Place one on the counter top . place the other on top of the kettle .
Wait for kettle to boil . Place tea bags in both cups . Pour fresh boiling water over tea bag in unchipped cup , put kettle to one side. Place melted nasty biscuit on saucer with chipped cup , check kettle has cooled to luke warm , then pour into chipped cup- and remove tea bag almost immediately. By now the other cup should be brewed nicely for yourself . Add correct amount of milk to your own unchipped cup and far too much to the other cup . Return to living room , state your undying love and furnish nasty biscuit/chipped luke warm combination to the Sofa Monster .
Voila!
G

1 Jan 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
That is of course a foolproof way mate , and as you say time honoured , but its long winded . What I like to do is just keep a piece of tinfoil ( the kind they wrap chocolate in) and rustle it a little . That usually shows signs of life .

Well weve gone off topic a bit so I apologise to the thread starter, well no I dont fuck him.
Right just gonna discover if this happens to others....shite link to the threads intent, but hey ho
how about this conversation....sound familiar
davej.......gonna get some chips do you want some?
mrs davej.......no don't fancy them
davej .....you sure
mrs davej....yep none fore me thanks
davej....butter a bit of bread for me, wont be long
there is now a short interlude as davej nips up the chippie
mrs davej....breads in the kitchen, dont make a mess.
davej...lovely got any sauce?
mrs davej....they smell nice
davej.....yep got any sauce?
mrs davej...yes in the cupboard. So did you buy a big portion or a little.
davej.... big
mrs davej.....they smell lovely
mrs davej......do us a chip butty
davej.... you didn't want any!
mrs davej...that was before but now I fancy some
davej.....me car keys are on the table
mrs davej.....can't I have some of yours?
davej......( in a quiet under his breath type voice) FFS!!!!
mrs davej..whats that?
davej.....nothing butter yourself some bread
it goes on but in the end I lose half me chips to someone who was adament they didn't want any.
Do me a favour G its been 20 odd replies and no one's thrown a fuck or a wobbly into me yet, I'm knda feeling left out...if you wouldn't mind