If the sex is great does attraction matter?

24 Sep 2006

I met someone on Friday, who I'd seen before but wasn't attracted to. I got a bit drunk, we kissed and had a bit of a grope, and oh my god, it was amazing. He wants more, and I can't stop thinking about how incredible he was.
The only thing is, lookswise I don't find him attractive. But he has a great personality, and the way he touched me was unbelievable, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. And we've spoken on the phone etc and I really really want him. And I know it will be amazing.
The only thing is, I've never been with someone I don't find physically attractive before. Would you let that put you off, or would it not bother you at all?
I know this sounds superficial, but I'm really confused, as this is still really new to me.
(By the way, im married, my husbands fine with me experimenting, and I dont want more than a pysical relationship with anyone biggrin

).

24 Sep 2006

If the sex is great does attraction matter?
I couldn't have sex, let alone have great sex with somebody I wasn't attracted to!

24 Sep 2006

If you aren't forming a relationship with him then I don't see the problem dunno

many people on here have "fuck buddies".
As long as you feel safe, and you both know where you stand, you partner agrees, I'd say you have it good :thumbup:
Cx

24 Sep 2006

Petal dearie, you just need to get drunk again.
Then he'll be gorgeous. rolleyes

24 Sep 2006

Quote by Kiss
I couldn't have sex, let alone have great sex with somebody I wasn't attracted to!

Same here

24 Sep 2006

Ok. So now I'm trying to fugre out if I am or not! I haven't seen him since I wa drunk so maybe my memories bad!
Must drink less. redface

24 Sep 2006

I couldn't have sex with anyone I didn't feel attracted to but then attraction comes in so many forms... we had this conversation the other night actually and decided that some of our 'fuck buddies' in the past to some, even to one another, may have appeared ugly redface

However, to us, each and every one of them had something very attractive about them... maybe the way they 'carried' themselves, the way they spoke, the way they listened, the way they looked, their arse, their knob, their nose, their eyes... who knows, a whole host of things really confused

As for being drunk - hmmm, dodgy area for me, always! But do you really and honestly mean that it was only the fact that you were drunk that allowed you have sex with him? If not, then I guess there must have been some form of attraction there... wink

24 Sep 2006

Quote by Bloke2005
I couldn't have sex with anyone I didn't feel attracted to but then attraction comes in so many forms... we had this conversation the other night actually and decided that some of our 'fuck buddies' in the past to some, even to one another, may have appeared ugly

:thumbup:
After all... I fancy Ken Stott!

If I saw him walking down the street would I give him a second look? No!
After watching him on telly would I like him to take me out to dinner then back to a hotel? Yes! surprised

ops:

24 Sep 2006

We didn't quite have sex.
I think, and this sounds awful and shallow, but I know people who know him, and I know if they knew they'd wonder what the hell it is I'm doing with him. Which is what might be putting me off.
But he's incredible in every other way, and we both want the same arrangement which is great. But I don't wanto to mess him around.
I've just realised how stupid this whole thread is because it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks at all.

24 Sep 2006

Don't think it matters at all if it's just fuck buddies ... though I would say there must be some sort of attraction there in the first place for it to get there.
Not sure why the looks thing should come into it though, unless you're going to be parading him around or something ...
If he's going to think otherwise, my suiggestion would be that you make sure he knows that he's just a sex object biggrin

If he can't accept that or harbours any hope that you'll start to fall for him then stop it now and find another ... or why not teach hubby those things the FB did that you liked so much .

24 Sep 2006

I wouldn't have sex with someone if I knew it required getting pissed to consider it an option.

24 Sep 2006

I think you are more worried about what other people will think of you seeing someone that obviously isn't up to your 'standard' in looks.
As it doesn't sound like you want to actually go out on dates, what difference does it make if the sex is great and you both understand the score?

24 Sep 2006

Petal - been there, done that, had GREAT time. I was attracted to his sense of humour, the way I felt so safe with him, the way he made me feel good about myself, his accent... loads of stuff that's not imediately obvious. If it feels right on all the other levels, I'd say go for it! :twisted:

24 Sep 2006

Just shut your eyes and imagine it's someone who you do find attractive. Better still, tell him you like to be blindfolded. You will have a great time lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

24 Sep 2006

the thing is what is attraction? does it just have to be about looks? personally i think not if he makes you feel this good is that not a attraction in itself?

24 Sep 2006

Quote by varca
<------------- This from the gal who fancies Meatloaf lol

that is just wrong is so many ways i don't know where to start lol

24 Sep 2006

Quote by naughtynymphos1
<------------- This from the gal who fancies Meatloaf lol

that is just wrong is so many ways i don't know where to start lol

I don't know ... I remember thinking he was hot when he did "Dead ringer for love" ( with Cher? ) redface

24 Sep 2006

Like you petal I didn't think I could have sex with someone physically unattractive... until I got chatted up at a Soul Weekender by a lovely girl who had no grand designs in the facial dept.. but the one thing that won me over was not the sex! but the totally wicked personality & sense of humour that just made me wanna spend the night with her just to reciprocate the way I felt!
That was nearly 8 yrs ago & to this date she is still one of my bestest friends!
But I'm sure you must realise by now attraction has many forms & Its a mark of a good individual to see past the physical & just enjoy someone for who they are & not for what for what others may or may not want to see!
We cannot & should not judge anyone for what ANYBODY may perceive as shallow - you just enjoy yourself & whoever you want to spend time with! biggrin

24 Sep 2006

I am going to say again what I have said before and to hell with PC.
If the cover of the book does not appeal to me I may skim through the pages but am probably not going to settle down with a glass of wine and read it cover to cover.
There!!! Now I have on my flame retardant suit so fire away!! lol

24 Sep 2006

If its just sex then just shag him but tell him to keep his gob shut if your worried about anyone finding out cool

24 Sep 2006

Quote by tina1
If its just sex then just shag him but tell him to keep his gob shut if your worried about anyone finding out

Ooooo now if someone actually said that to me I would have to gather what remains of my dignity and say farewell.

24 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
If its just sex then just shag him but tell him to keep his gob shut if your worried about anyone finding out

Ooooo now if someone actually said that to me I would have to gather what remains of my dignity and say farewell.
So would I confused

25 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
If its just sex then just shag him but tell him to keep his gob shut if your worried about anyone finding out

Ooooo now if someone actually said that to me I would have to gather what remains of my dignity and say farewell.
I don't have a problem with that... but perhaps it was the following qualification that Abilene found a problem with?

25 Sep 2006

Quote by Abilene
I am going to say again what I have said before and to hell with PC.
If the cover of the book does not appeal to me I may skim through the pages but am probably not going to settle down with a glass of wine and read it cover to cover.
There!!! Now I have on my flame retardant suit so fire away!!

:thumbup:

25 Sep 2006

kick me and hang me, at your will; but . . . . .

"If the sex is great does attraction matter"

If there's no attraction, can the sex be great ????? dunno

25 Sep 2006

Quote by dambuster
kick me and hang me, at your will; but . . . . .

"If the sex is great does attraction matter"

If there's no attraction, can the sex be great ????? dunno

ffs I never have to to say much in here really. Everyone else says it for me!! :thumbup:

25 Sep 2006

Quote by firelizard
I am going to say again what I have said before and to hell with PC.
If the cover of the book does not appeal to me I may skim through the pages but am probably not going to settle down with a glass of wine and read it cover to cover.
There!!! Now I have on my flame retardant suit so fire away!!

:thumbup:
I agree with the :thumbup: - and I do like that analogy wink

25 Sep 2006

In my youth, it was often a challenge, amongst the lads, to see who could get off with the roughest old slapper available and survive to tell the tale. Wicked and quite unpleasant I know now. But that's the kind of silly crap some young lads get into.
Well we did manage to pull off this contest on a few occasions with hilarious results.
Anyway back to the thread. During sex people become beautiful, don't they? cool

At least they should do, and if they don't just take on a little bit of a glow, then perhaps its probabaly best not to continue with them. :cry:

25 Sep 2006

As has been said before, I cannot sleep with someone I don't find attractive.
But attraction is not, and should not be about looks. Sence of humour, feeling safe, same interests, interesting personality should come first, not how picture perfect they look.
I admit to having low self esteem, and always dread meeting people because they may find me unattractive, but if I've spoken to them by msn or whatever, for a long enough period of time, which I usually do. I find I usually win them over in personality and general attitude to life and sex, to the point where looks tend not to really matter. This goes both ways.
Its a shallow person that decides after sharing a couple of weeks of intimate chat by whichever form, that oh sorry, your too fat/ugly/spotty for me to shag!!!!!
Just my 10pence worth. Might not even be worth that much!!!!

25 Sep 2006

Quote by dambuster
kick me and hang me, at your will; but . . . . .

"If the sex is great does attraction matter"

If there's no attraction, can the sex be great ????? dunno

Have to disagree.. Even if there is no major physical attarction ; the sex (in unadulterated terms) can still be great.
I am sure that most , if not all, have been with people that we are not overly attracted to , but have found that in bed we are more than compatible.
Don't judge ... etc ... etc
Paul