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If You Came With Instructions What Would They Say?

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tazz1999
Sexpert
trouble shooting please read pages 1 to 101.
mancunian
Sex God
Under certain circumstances excessive localised hardening may occur.
Unknown User
Do not over-inflate.
Remember 'blow' is just an expression.
sexy1
Sexpert
lubricate well and gently massage until desired effect is obtained
Pete_sw
Sex God
Fragile - handle with care - do not pick up, item may explode and cause serious injury. :lol2:
Unknown User
stand well back,been known to bite lol
Unknown User
"contains choking hazard" :twisted:
Unknown User
If patient should have trouble swollowing, __random_orbit__ can also be used as a pessary.
Use regularly until inflamation subsides.
May cause drowsiness.
lp
Unknown User
The Lovely One can move as far as you wish in any unblocked direction (horizontally, vertically or diagonally).
The Lovely One is, without doubt, the most powerful piece on the chessboard. She captures in the same way that she moves, replacing the unlucky opposing piece that got in her way.
The Lovely One's power is so great that she is considered to be worth more than any combination of two other pieces (with the exception of two rooks). Thus it would be better, under normal circumstances, to sacrifice a rook and a bishop (for example) than to give up a Lovely One.
;)
Calista
Sex God
1. Keep away from water.
2. I hate bright light.
3. The most important rule. No matter how much I cry, no matter how much I beg, never, never feed me after midnight.
:silly:
Unknown User
May cause hair loss, regrowth will be curly.
Unknown User
Quote by __random_orbit__
If patient should have trouble swollowing, __random_orbit__ can also be used as a pessary.
lp

Tease :twisted:
Unknown User
dirty when dangerous and slippery when wet, 30 day guaranttee
Mistress_39
Casanova
Do not mix the highly volatile contents of this package with tosspots due to danger of explosion.
Unknown User
Protective gear highly recommended as can get very wet if used correctly
Unknown User
Eat me!
Unknown User
Quote by TheLovelyOne
Eat me!

If you insist :lickface:
whiplash
Orgasminator
JUST PUT IT DOWN N WALK AWAY ...VERY VERY SLOWLY
whiplash
Orgasminator
WATER REGULARLY
(i like that one better lol)
Unknown User
Snorkel and mask required biggrin
Unknown User
Quote by Dizzyblue
Snorkel and mask required biggrin

Why? Do you fart a lot? :shock:
bolt
Unknown User
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Why? Do you fart a lot? :shock:

Suppose I asked for that for being a newbie to the forums redface
Unknown User
Quote by Dizzyblue
Why? Do you fart a lot? :shock:

Suppose I asked for that for being a newbie to the forums redface
I'm sorry, that was very rude of me surprisedops:
but fucking funny :giggle:
welcome btw wave
Unknown User
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I'm sorry, that was very rude of me redface
but fucking funny :giggle:
welcome btw wave

Don't worry I laughed, they would also need wellies, mackintosh and a souwester.............not a very attractive picture! wink and no I don't fart, I do squirt though when excited biggrin
Unknown User

Camelot fans - enjoy! :love:
Phuckers
Sex God
Might be bigger than it appears on the tv advert!
Unknown User
Has zero tolerance for bitches and can smell one a mile off :dry:
Steve
Sex God
Dont bother opening.....Please return for full refund...