Quote by Lilith
@Starlight...ok, we get it; you disagree! Now, why don't you go and polish your halo while the rest of us stay here and chat with Dave, eh?
;-)
Duly told off by teacher
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Interesting ideas to please my wife
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Another thought, Dave... I wonder if dogging may be something that your wife would enjoy? It's something you could try that would be exciting and involve other people, but not intimately. It really depends on how much your wife would like the idea of being watched. I love being watched (as those who hang out with me in the chatrooms will know!!), but my wife is more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist, so dogging isn't something we've tried ourselves.
You may want to speak to people who are into dogging before suggesting it to your wife though. There's a forum on here specifically about dogging that you could check out.
You may want to speak to people who are into dogging before suggesting it to your wife though. There's a forum on here specifically about dogging that you could check out.
Sex God
I've found the best way to please BB is to have a shower use some deodorant and try not to fart til she's asleep ..... I'll see what the thread is actually about now
Sex God
Quote by Cubes
... the mere fact most of us are here in the first place shows what we think of certain fairly basic societal norms, claiming a right to make moral decisions re: our sexuality and the expression of it for ourselves regardless of what wider society might think.
Sorry for snipping you Neil, but I think you've hit a nail on the head there. :thumbup:
How many people on here can lay claim to being completely open and honest with their friends/family/workmates/employers etc about their level of involvement in the swinging lifestyle? I know a few, but they're in the minority. The vast majority of us still have to keep it quiet, pretending to be vanilla, and making excuses about meeting old school friends etc when needing child minders.
I know it's not the same thing as keeping things from your significant other, but the reasons behind it could be just the same - i.e. non-acceptance of your wishes and desires.
Just sayin' like. ;-)
Rather than going through the plethera of posts since my last think I'll just point out as Star did how exactly the nail was missed and you hit your thumb.
I consider being a swinger a bit like being gay 50 years ago. Gay people were not actually doing anything wrong and in fact it was illegal so they hid it from the people they were related to or friends with as it could damage their reputation. See now I dont give a toss who knows I am a swinger in fact if there were no reprecussions to other people in my life I would announce it to the world. The fact that people may tease my kids in school or similar such situations is what stops me but personally I couldent give a flying frig how people percieve me for my sexual choices. Maybe society will move on in the future who knows and who knows how far.
Some of us take the choice to stand on the alter say I do for sickness and in health and all the rest of it. Most of us are far from perfect I'll include myself in that figure for sure. I will though say that when something is not right I'll stand up and address that issue. What I dont do is anything I feel my partner would be hurt by regardless of how I feel. If the situation is not agreeable then youve two choices, do without or pack your suitcase. Compromise only when you are 100% agreeable, begrudged compromise can only lead to massive problems. Understand fully there are some relations where the choice is rather more difficult than others i.e. wife/husband unexpectedly physically or mentally incapacitated. Fully undestand the difficulties of that kind of those situations though I have little patience for the I feel alone, I feel unsatisfied, my wife wont give me a blow job threads.
50% of us have been at that juncture where we have to ask the other half hey how about a bit of this? Being perfectly honest Mrs Tweekys reaction was I dont think so. I suggested a munch that was being held in our city. Suggested it as just a party where nothing else happens, she agreed and that was that start of that so to speak. However had the answer been no 100% catagoric then that as they say would been the end of that. If that makes me a halo wearer then I take it with pride.
Sex God
i think something like this would really please the wife
Quote by tweeky
... the mere fact most of us are here in the first place shows what we think of certain fairly basic societal norms, claiming a right to make moral decisions re: our sexuality and the expression of it for ourselves regardless of what wider society might think.
Sorry for snipping you Neil, but I think you've hit a nail on the head there. :thumbup:
How many people on here can lay claim to being completely open and honest with their friends/family/workmates/employers etc about their level of involvement in the swinging lifestyle? I know a few, but they're in the minority. The vast majority of us still have to keep it quiet, pretending to be vanilla, and making excuses about meeting old school friends etc when needing child minders.
I know it's not the same thing as keeping things from your significant other, but the reasons behind it could be just the same - i.e. non-acceptance of your wishes and desires.
Just sayin' like. ;-)
Rather than going through the plethera of posts since my last think I'll just point out as Star did how exactly the nail was missed and you hit your thumb.
I consider being a swinger a bit like being gay 50 years ago. Gay people were not actually doing anything wrong and in fact it was illegal so they hid it from the people they were related to or friends with as it could damage their reputation. See now I dont give a toss who knows I am a swinger in fact if there were no reprecussions to other people in my life I would announce it to the world. The fact that people may tease my kids in school or similar such situations is what stops me but personally I couldent give a flying frig how people percieve me for my sexual choices. Maybe society will move on in the future who knows and who knows how far.
Some of us take the choice to stand on the alter say I do for sickness and in health and all the rest of it. Most of us are far from perfect I'll include myself in that figure for sure. I will though say that when something is not right I'll stand up and address that issue. What I dont do is anything I feel my partner would be hurt by regardless of how I feel. If the situation is not agreeable then youve two choices, do without or pack your suitcase. Compromise only when you are 100% agreeable, begrudged compromise can only lead to massive problems. Understand fully there are some relations where the choice is rather more difficult than others i.e. wife/husband unexpectedly physically or mentally incapacitated. Fully undestand the difficulties of that kind of those situations though I have little patience for the I feel alone, I feel unsatisfied, my wife wont give me a blow job threads.
50% of us have been at that juncture where we have to ask the other half hey how about a bit of this? Being perfectly honest Mrs Tweekys reaction was I dont think so. I suggested a munch that was being held in our city. Suggested it as just a party where nothing else happens, she agreed and that was that start of that so to speak. However had the answer been no 100% catagoric then that as they say would been the end of that. If that makes me a halo wearer then I take it with pride.
Oh dear Tweeky.
Have mine as it is getting a bit small for me.
Plus seems an awful lot of money just to ask a question huh? Can you let me know if it does not fit as one or two others have asked to borrow it.
Quote by Lilith
Last post in here from me
:giggle:
Well......... most other people on here seem to enjoy telling porkies to get a reaction, so i simply thought why not, and join the clan? Plus if I remain in the debate I may end up being as perfect as some of the other posters. :notes:
Your not going to get me to do 100 lines of I shall not disagree with Lilith at anytime, are you? :jagsatwork:
I know I said I wasn't going to repeat things I've said in previous threads (and I know that this encouraging the off topic debate!), but given that others have set out their views in detail, here's my two penneth worth...
I don't believe in the idea of a universal morality. I believe that everyone has their own unique moral code, which is developed by a combination of factors and experiences, including upbringing, social environment, social conditioning, life experiences, and a raft of other internal and external influences.
There are, of course, majority views on right and wrong in every society. But, alongside these more widespread moral norms are our own, internal moral norms, which we each develop individually. Different people are influenced to different degrees by external factors like what is considered within society to be right or wrong. But, ultimately, each of us will make decisions based on what we believe is right or wrong.
So, provided you make your decisions based on what you feel is morally acceptable for you, why should you care what anyone else thinks? We cannot live our lives based on what is right for others; we can only strive to do what is right for us.
So, if you feel comfortable playing with someone who is in a relationship where their partner either doesn't know or does know but doesn't want to play, then go for it. If not, then don't.
I do agree that if you only want to play with genuine singles, genuine couples, and/or one part of a couple where the other person consents, it does make things difficult when someone is not 100% honest about their status on their profile. However, it is not possible to control the decisions and actions of others and there's only so much we can do to check that a person we are speaking to on the site is being genuine and upfront.
Ultimately, each one of us needs to decide the extent to which we feel comfortable to meet with and/or play with and/or communicate with any other person that we meet through this site. For some people, the risk of unwittingly participating in "cheating" may be enough to put them off a site like this altogether. For others, it may be enough to follow their own rules and try their best.
Whatever is right for you, I'd like to think that this is the kind of environment where people can have fun without worrying about being judged.
I don't believe in the idea of a universal morality. I believe that everyone has their own unique moral code, which is developed by a combination of factors and experiences, including upbringing, social environment, social conditioning, life experiences, and a raft of other internal and external influences.
There are, of course, majority views on right and wrong in every society. But, alongside these more widespread moral norms are our own, internal moral norms, which we each develop individually. Different people are influenced to different degrees by external factors like what is considered within society to be right or wrong. But, ultimately, each of us will make decisions based on what we believe is right or wrong.
So, provided you make your decisions based on what you feel is morally acceptable for you, why should you care what anyone else thinks? We cannot live our lives based on what is right for others; we can only strive to do what is right for us.
So, if you feel comfortable playing with someone who is in a relationship where their partner either doesn't know or does know but doesn't want to play, then go for it. If not, then don't.
I do agree that if you only want to play with genuine singles, genuine couples, and/or one part of a couple where the other person consents, it does make things difficult when someone is not 100% honest about their status on their profile. However, it is not possible to control the decisions and actions of others and there's only so much we can do to check that a person we are speaking to on the site is being genuine and upfront.
Ultimately, each one of us needs to decide the extent to which we feel comfortable to meet with and/or play with and/or communicate with any other person that we meet through this site. For some people, the risk of unwittingly participating in "cheating" may be enough to put them off a site like this altogether. For others, it may be enough to follow their own rules and try their best.
Whatever is right for you, I'd like to think that this is the kind of environment where people can have fun without worrying about being judged.
Quote by Lilith
I do agree that if you only want to play with genuine singles, genuine couples, and/or one part of a couple where the other person consents, it does make things difficult when someone is not 100% honest about their status on their profile. However, it is not possible to control the decisions and actions of others and there's only so much we can do to check that a person we are speaking to on the site is being genuine and upfront.
Ultimately, each one of us needs to decide the extent to which we feel comfortable to meet with and/or play with and/or communicate with any other person that we meet through this site. For some people, the risk of unwittingly participating in "cheating" may be enough to put them off a site like this altogether. For others, it may be enough to follow their own rules and try their best.
Superbly put.
Quote by Lilith
Whatever is right for you, I'd like to think that this is the kind of environment where people can have fun without worrying about being judged.
Being judged or indeed being judgmental is a simple fact of being human. I may have been judging but have come across many guys who use the same old excuses for swinging alone. Why anyone would want to pay a years subscription to ask a question, and then have a single guys profile, can lead many to only conclude one thing.
Still we try to go to into a few details so as to avoid where possible the fact a guy could be cheating. We are not being the moral high ground, but simply that we would not feel comfortable knowing there is a cheated partner out there, and so being part of that cheating. But hey as long as we meet guys where we have made OUR decisions on his status as a single, and are comfortable with OUR decisions, then frankly anyone else can have morals of a sewer rat or morals of a nun, and they can do as they wish. But guys who we have spoken to try and hide behind limp excuses as to why they cheat, sorry not for us but good luck if they can get away with it with others. :thumbup:
and you can spank me anytime you like
Sex God
Quote by Lilith
I know I said I wasn't going to repeat things I've said in previous threads (and I know that this encouraging the off topic debate!), but given that others have set out their views in detail, here's my two penneth worth...
I don't believe in the idea of a universal morality. I believe that everyone has their own unique moral code, which is developed by a combination of factors and experiences, including upbringing, social environment, social conditioning, life experiences, and a raft of other internal and external influences.
There are, of course, majority views on right and wrong in every society. But, alongside these more widespread moral norms are our own, internal moral norms, which we each develop individually. Different people are influenced to different degrees by external factors like what is considered within society to be right or wrong. But, ultimately, each of us will make decisions based on what we believe is right or wrong.
So, provided you make your decisions based on what you feel is morally acceptable for you, why should you care what anyone else thinks? We cannot live our lives based on what is right for others; we can only strive to do what is right for us.
So, if you feel comfortable playing with someone who is in a relationship where their partner either doesn't know or does know but doesn't want to play, then go for it. If not, then don't.
I do agree that if you only want to play with genuine singles, genuine couples, and/or one part of a couple where the other person consents, it does make things difficult when someone is not 100% honest about their status on their profile. However, it is not possible to control the decisions and actions of others and there's only so much we can do to check that a person we are speaking to on the site is being genuine and upfront.
Ultimately, each one of us needs to decide the extent to which we feel comfortable to meet with and/or play with and/or communicate with any other person that we meet through this site. For some people, the risk of unwittingly participating in "cheating" may be enough to put them off a site like this altogether. For others, it may be enough to follow their own rules and try their best.
Whatever is right for you, I'd like to think that this is the kind of environment where people can have fun without worrying about being judged.
Of course everyone has a moral code of their own. What we are talking about here though is couples and most couples have an agreement whatever form that takes, discussed non discussed a vow? Most of us know what our agreement is. There are ways in which you can break that agreement to a minor or major degree. I would say though if you are doing something that you are hiding from your other half as you suspect they would disprove then you are breaking that agreement. It may be no different to haveing a porn collection but then I have one and Mrs Tweeky knows about it. If you were a devout Christian couple one of you having a private porn collection could be a massive breach of the agreement.
As swingers I dont feel as Cubes suggested that I should be less judgemental on the Op. I fail to see the comparrison, I am not hiding things from my significant other and they are. I am a swinger in a consentual swinging relationship. The Op wants to be a swinger has a non complient partner and is online investigating the options without their knowledge. Sorry but there is nothing making me want to shout out SNAP.
Quote by tweeky
Of course everyone has a moral code of their own. What we are talking about here though is couples and most couples have an agreement whatever form that takes, discussed non discussed a vow? Most of us know what our agreement is. There are ways in which you can break that agreement to a minor or major degree. I would say though if you are doing something that you are hiding from your other half as you suspect they would disprove then you are breaking that agreement. It may be no different to haveing a porn collection but then I have one and Mrs Tweeky knows about it. If you were a devout Christian couple one of you having a private porn collection could be a massive breach of the agreement.
As swingers I dont feel as Cubes suggested that I should be less judgemental on the Op. I fail to see the comparrison, I am not hiding things from my significant other and they are. I am a swinger in a consentual swinging relationship. The Op wants to be a swinger has a non complient partner and is online investigating the options without their knowledge. Sorry but there is nothing making me want to shout out SNAP.
I still don't think it is as simple for everyone as you suggest. Yes, there is an agreement between a couple. But, for most people, that agreement is largely based on societal norms. Also, there may be some who enter into that commitment at a relatively young age and then swiftly have children and only much later in life realise that things have changed - they have changed, their partner has changed, their circumstances have changed - and the agreement becomes harder to observe. Clearly, for you, it would never be possible to justify breaking your agreement with your wife. My point was just that not everyone may feel that way according to their own balance of morality.
A similar example would be a person who knowingly breaks the law because the morality on which that law is based conflicts with their own internal code. As citizens, I believe that we have all entered into an agreement with the State (and society) to obey the law. In exchange for doing so, we can expect protection and enforcement if someone breaks the law in a way which affects us. However, there are circumstances when people don't feel that the law is right for them, so they break it. There are consequences if they get caught, but if they feel that what they're doing is right for them, then they may be willing to risk those consequences. To you or me, their actions may seem abhorrent and not possible to justify. But, that is because our own internal moral code happens to coincide with the morality on which the law in question is based.
Don't get me wrong tweeky - I'm not encouraging cheating. I'm just trying to express a particular point of view that, since it is not illegal and is none of my business, I don't think it's right for me to make someone feel bad for joining this site without their partner's knowledge. I think Cubes' point was not that you should shout "snap", but that you should understand what it's like to go against the norm and therefore be more willing to live and let live without being judgemental about other people's choices. You don't have to approve - in fact, I'd say you are perfectly within your rights to actively disapprove - but we've totally hijacked a thread that was created by someone asking for help. It is not against the AUP for a guy to have an account without his wife's knowledge. I'm sure he didn't join the site to be subjected to other people's opinions on his choices about his life based on their views of what is right and wrong.
Sorry... One other thought...
Given that people can be on this site without the knowledge of their significant other, and given that a lot of people feel so strongly about cheating that they wouldn't want to unwittingly participate in an adulterous act, it does strike me as rather counter-productive to berate someone in a public forum who is being upfront about his situation. Surely this sort of open attack on site members - making them feel unwelcome in the community and judged - is more likely to result in people hiding their situation for fear of being ostracised... Again, I'm not saying you have to approve / encourage / be actively welcoming. But, certainly in this scenario (to adapt something my mother always said) I'd suggest that if you don't have anything nice to post in response to the op's thread, then don't post anything at all...
Given that people can be on this site without the knowledge of their significant other, and given that a lot of people feel so strongly about cheating that they wouldn't want to unwittingly participate in an adulterous act, it does strike me as rather counter-productive to berate someone in a public forum who is being upfront about his situation. Surely this sort of open attack on site members - making them feel unwelcome in the community and judged - is more likely to result in people hiding their situation for fear of being ostracised... Again, I'm not saying you have to approve / encourage / be actively welcoming. But, certainly in this scenario (to adapt something my mother always said) I'd suggest that if you don't have anything nice to post in response to the op's thread, then don't post anything at all...
Quote by Lilith
Sorry... One other thought...
Given that people can be on this site without the knowledge of their significant other, and given that a lot of people feel so strongly about cheating that they wouldn't want to unwittingly participate in an adulterous act, it does strike me as rather counter-productive to berate someone in a piblic forum who is being upfront about his situation. Surely this sort of open attack on site members - making them feel unwelcome in the community and judged - is more likely to result in people hiding their situation for fear of being ostracised... Again, I'm not saying you have to approve / encourage / be actively welcoming. But, certainly in this scenario (to adapt something my mother always said) I'd suggest that if you don't have anything nice to post in response to the op's thread, then don't post anything at all...
I have found a Champion!
Sex God
Quote by Lizaleanrob
waits for skinny to put his self forward
ffs I've been rumbled.
