When looking at ads I regularly see the following -
"winks wont be replied to"
"Single line responses will be deleted"
"Replies without face pics will be deleted"
And similar. All of this is fair play - after all, ad posters should be able to set the rules early to avoid being contacted by the wrong person/people, time wasters, dreamers and other undesirables. I can see that and totally agree with it.
However, when I see an ad and reply to it following all the rules and spending time thinking about an intelligent, relevant response I don't think that an answer - even if it is just a simple "no thanks" is too much to ask.
I'm a grown up - If I'm not to someones taste I can handle it. There will be no tears on my pillow, I'll simply move on to the next ad that interests me, Its not a big deal. But to be ignored? Thats just rude.
Sorry if this sounds like a rant but bad manners really get on my boob-ends..
What do you think?
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Is a \"no thanks\" too much to ask?
Quote by H-x
My ad stipulates what I'm looking for, a single male who is local and around my own age and of a cirtain statue because that's my preference. I read all the mail I get, less than 1% of the replies I get actually fit what I'm looking for, should I reply to them all?
H.x
if your a female putting a add up you cant reply to them all. i put a add up in the single fems looking for males section and got hundreds of replies, i didnt even read a lot cause there was simply to many, so there well may have been the perfect guy in there for me but they just get lost amoung the many mails. I ended up taking my add off as i couldnt cope with the amount of mail and the amount of guys re mailing, moaning i hadnt replied
Sex God
The anonymity afforded by the internet leads to inconsiderate behaviour of all types, and there is little one can do about it unless it breaks a site's AUP or the law.
In addition some pushy people here see a "thanks but no thanks" reponse as an invitation to start up a "why not" dialogue when it isn't, so that's an additional reason why people would rather not respond at all. The lack of replies is just something we have to learn to live with, unfortunately.
In addition some pushy people here see a "thanks but no thanks" reponse as an invitation to start up a "why not" dialogue when it isn't, so that's an additional reason why people would rather not respond at all. The lack of replies is just something we have to learn to live with, unfortunately.
Hmm I suppose if you get a lot of replies it becomes too much to reply to them all. I see the "why not?" argument to.
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
) who do follow the rules and make an effort get treated the same as the chancing jackasses that are flooding the mailboxes in the first place. Grr! 
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
) who do follow the rules and make an effort get treated the same as the chancing jackasses that are flooding the mailboxes in the first place. Grr! 
Sex God
Maybe people simply moved on to the next response that interested them, because you're not to their taste. Their good manners might have prevented them from being rude in their response. As Mike said, some might have had people asking 'why?' when they were turned down. If you consider it bad manners not to reply, maybe they aren't the right person for you anyway.
And maybe they looked at your profile and wondered why there's no information about the person you're with?
And maybe they looked at your profile and wondered why there's no information about the person you're with?
Sex God
Quote by Pendulous007
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
How would you know that there are chancing jackasses who flood mailboxes?
Quote by Freckledbird
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
How would you know that there are chancing jackasses who flood mailboxes?
Looking at the above replies. Have you never had one? As a couple surely you must have?
As for information regarding the person I'm with, when that person wants to volunteer that information they can do. For the moment its not what we want.
Sex God
Pendulous007"
When I first joined the site, many moon ago, I as then a single female put an ad up and got over 1000+ replies in 3 day...
I scared me to say the least.
As fast as I read them, more kept arriving, by which stage I was getting upset as I simply didn't know when it was going to stop.
On advise from a forum single male who by then I had got to know, he suggested I removed my advert and deleted all the responses, and went to munches or social and got to meet people............
Whilst it might seem hard deleted over 1000+ responses I had to do something.
When I first joined the site, many moon ago, I as then a single female put an ad up and got over 1000+ replies in 3 day...
I scared me to say the least.
As fast as I read them, more kept arriving, by which stage I was getting upset as I simply didn't know when it was going to stop.
On advise from a forum single male who by then I had got to know, he suggested I removed my advert and deleted all the responses, and went to munches or social and got to meet people............
Whilst it might seem hard deleted over 1000+ responses I had to do something.
Quote by Sarah
Pendulous007"
When I first joined the site, many moon ago, I as then a single female put an ad up and got over 1000+ replies in 3 day...
I scared me to say the least.
As fast as I read them, more kept arriving, by which stage I was getting upset as I simply didn't know when it was going to stop.
On advise from a forum single male who by then I had got to know, he suggested I removed my advert and deleted all the responses, and went to munches or social and got to meet people............
Whilst it might seem hard deleted over 1000+ responses I had to do something.
I guess I'd rather have too many responses than too few hehe!
Still - You are doing the right thing by not placing an ad at all giving nothing to reply to, also it clearly states on your profile that if you want someone you'll come looking, you not placing an ad then blanking the replies.
I can see that some people would ignore that and contact you anyway - the sods.
For me, if someone contacts you on spec or replies to an ad they should have read it and met your criteria - if not then they cant expect a response, I can see that.
Oh well - Im sure I'll get over it..
Sex God
Quote by Pendulous007
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
How would you know that there are chancing jackasses who flood mailboxes?
Looking at the above replies. Have you never had one? As a couple surely you must have?
As for information regarding the person I'm with, when that person wants to volunteer that information they can do. For the moment its not what we want.
No, we haven't had any 'chancing jackasses' respond to us, even when we did have an ad.
Regarding information about the person you're with, maybe for the moment you're not what people want because your profile is a bit contradictory?
Quote by flower411
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
How would you know that there are chancing jackasses who flood mailboxes?
Looking at the above replies. Have you never had one? As a couple surely you must have?
As for information regarding the person I'm with, when that person wants to volunteer that information they can do. For the moment its not what we want.
I was going to put a reply to the original post along the lines of it being hard to reply because everytime you do, the person seems to take it that you want to keep talking to them, or indeed, you get the " why nots ? "
I was also going to suggest that you tried the chatrooms.
But the fact that you clearly have a problem answering the most basic of questions means that IMHO all the people who fail to reply to you, have listened to the sixth sense that we all seem to develop and simply binned your messages.
Sorry if that sounds harsh
Ouch! :shock: Where did that come from?
What question did I fail to answer? :confused:
Nice to hear that you have developed a 6th sense - is this something I can get by purchasing an SH upgrade?
Your "humble" (Ahem) opinion is duly noted.Anyway - when I refer to chancing jackasses I mean those that choose to send no-effort one-liner winks that everybody seems to hate (or so I thought) Sorry if this wording got anyones back up.
:cry:
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
No, we haven't had any 'chancing jackasses' respond to us, even when we did have an ad.
Regarding information about the person you're with, maybe for the moment you're not what people want because your profile is a bit contradictory?
I had noticed that..... so if we had I am sure that people who read your reply and then your profile are confused as well......
I know of a certain single lady who put up an ad.. come back 2 weeks later and have 750 replies... which the greatest of respect is she suppose to get back to every single one... because hand on heart if the roles were reversed I know I sure as hell wouldn't....
The example I use is that I have applied for jobs I have seen advertised, sent off my C.V only to never hear back from them.... why would or should you expect other parts of life to be any different...
Take it as a no.... dust yourself down and move on....that is life
I think grumbling about it makes the situation look a million times worse, after all if any of those people you have replied to in the past are reading this, they may be thinking that there gut reaction to not get back to you was correct........
I too, many years ago used to think people rude for not replying when I had spent what seemed an age composing a reply to their advert. Over the years I've read threads like this and thought about the points people have put across for not replying and I've come to the conclusion the main reason is time. I don't know how long it takes folks to read and reply to a PM, but say it takes a minute, not long you say, but it only takes 60 of them to take up an hour of your time. So imagine having to deal with hundreds, on a site like this with a large member database that isn't as daft as it sounds.
Oh dear.
For a 1st post this is a bit of a disaster!
The last thing I wanted was for look to like I'm moaning about not being responded to. Like I said I'm a big boy and can cope with a "no thanks" I can also appreciate why people don't reply now (3000+ in 3 days?!? that many!?!)
And no, theres no big secret. If the profile appears to conflict it wasn't intended to.
For a 1st post this is a bit of a disaster!
The last thing I wanted was for look to like I'm moaning about not being responded to. Like I said I'm a big boy and can cope with a "no thanks" I can also appreciate why people don't reply now (3000+ in 3 days?!? that many!?!)
And no, theres no big secret. If the profile appears to conflict it wasn't intended to.
Sex God
Quote by Pendulous007
When looking at ads I regularly see the following -
"winks wont be replied to"
"Single line responses will be deleted"
"Replies without face pics will be deleted"
And similar. All of this is fair play - after all, ad posters should be able to set the rules early to avoid being contacted by the wrong person/people, time wasters, dreamers and other undesirables. I can see that and totally agree with it.
However, when I see an ad and reply to it following all the rules and spending time thinking about an intelligent, relevant response I don't think that an answer - even if it is just a simple "no thanks" is too much to ask.
I'm a grown up - If I'm not to someones taste I can handle it. There will be no tears on my pillow, I'll simply move on to the next ad that interests me, Its not a big deal. But to be ignored? Thats just rude.
Sorry if this sounds like a rant but bad manners really get on my boob-ends..
What do you think?
I totally agree with you! If people want you to put all that effort into a reply, by being so specific, then I think they should respond, unless they specify in the ad that if you do not hear by a certain time then you can assume the answer is 'no'.
Perhaps what's needed here is a way of creating standard rejection replies, so that at least you know they've read your mail? I thnk that's the underlying message here.
I know from experience that sometimes you'll send a reply and hear nothing for months. So you think 'how rude they could have just said no". Then you take a chance and send a second mail or you might see them in the chatrooms, only to discover they haven't look at your mail in months, and sometimes rarely check they're mail. So you make the second contact and everthing proceeds from there.
So it's not an unreasonable request, it's just finding a way of treating everyone with respect.
:D :D Sex God
Quote by bbw_lover
I totally agree with you! If people want you to put all that effort into a reply, by being so specific, then I think they should respond, unless they specify in the ad that if you do not hear by a certain time then you can assume the answer is 'no'.
Perhaps what's needed here is a way of creating standard rejection replies, so that at least you know they've read your mail? I thnk that's the underlying message here.
I know from experience that sometimes you'll send a reply and hear nothing for months. So you think 'how rude they could have just said no". Then you take a chance and send a second mail or you might see them in the chatrooms, only to discover they haven't look at your mail in months, and sometimes rarely check they're mail. So you make the second contact and everthing proceeds from there.
So it's not an unreasonable request, it's just finding a way of treating everyone with respect.
It is the bit in bold I really, really disagree with you here....
It is bad enough getting winks.... so wouldn't this be as bad, but just on the other foot...
after all wouldn't both take about the same amount of effort????
and what if they reply to that e-mail..... what would you like next... and set reply to the reply???
I know it sounds silly... but where would it then end?
Sex God
Quote by Sarah
Pendulous007"
When I first joined the site, many moon ago, I as then a single female put an ad up and got over 1000+ replies in 3 day...
I scared me to say the least.
As fast as I read them, more kept arriving, by which stage I was getting upset as I simply didn't know when it was going to stop.
On advise from a forum single male who by then I had got to know, he suggested I removed my advert and deleted all the responses, and went to munches or social and got to meet people............
Whilst it might seem hard deleted over 1000+ responses I had to do something.
It is hard when you get a huge volume of responses like this (which as single females advertising you often do - ratio is a wonderful concept!?!) to respond to everyone. I know I certainly haven't meant to offend people by not replying, but I possibly have - apologies if any are reading!
I must admit, although it seems a tad contradictory, that the volume of responses is why I took my advert off.
Hmmmm.... I feel bad now.
Will have to think before re-advertising.
Nola x
Sex God
Quote by fabio
I totally agree with you! If people want you to put all that effort into a reply, by being so specific, then I think they should respond, unless they specify in the ad that if you do not hear by a certain time then you can assume the answer is 'no'.
Perhaps what's needed here is a way of creating standard rejection replies, so that at least you know they've read your mail? I thnk that's the underlying message here.
I know from experience that sometimes you'll send a reply and hear nothing for months. So you think 'how rude they could have just said no". Then you take a chance and send a second mail or you might see them in the chatrooms, only to discover they haven't look at your mail in months, and sometimes rarely check they're mail. So you make the second contact and everthing proceeds from there.
So it's not an unreasonable request, it's just finding a way of treating everyone with respect.
It is the bit in bold I really, really disagree with you here....
It is bad enough getting winks.... so wouldn't this be as bad, but just on the other foot...
after all wouldn't both take about the same amount of effort????
and what if they reply to that e-mail..... what would you like next... and set reply to the reply???
I know it sounds silly... but where would it then end?
Good point. I was just throwing out an idea really to see what the options are. I can understand people getting pissed off with endless winks, but there must be a way to reply to proper PMs without having to compose War and Peaceeach time. Something quick and easy?
:? :? Quote by flower411
Your profile says that you are with someone !!!
You say that you are not going to tell us anything about this other person !!
Just seems a bit strange !!! What`s the big secret ??
Whoa there Flower!
He's surely allowed to put what he wants on his profile - and if that includes NOT elaborating on his partner, well that's his choice!
If folk dismiss his advert because of lack of information, that's their choice too - but loads of people have bugger all on their profiles!
we agree, we are trying to get a couples only dogging monthly event in south wales-do your own thing -no pressure!
when we invite couples who are looking for the same thing, we get no response to our msg, cum on, do u want to play?
we met a nice couple last week, so we are genuine!
look at this reply, and if u r heart is init, let us know!
when we invite couples who are looking for the same thing, we get no response to our msg, cum on, do u want to play?
we met a nice couple last week, so we are genuine!
look at this reply, and if u r heart is init, let us know!
we agree, we are trying to get a couples only dogging monthly event in south wales-do your own thing -no pressure!
when we invite couples who are looking for the same thing, we get no response to our msg, cum on, do u want to play?
we met a nice couple last week, so we are genuine!
look at this reply, and if u r heart is init, let us know!
when we invite couples who are looking for the same thing, we get no response to our msg, cum on, do u want to play?
we met a nice couple last week, so we are genuine!
look at this reply, and if u r heart is init, let us know!
Quote by Pendulous007
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
How would you know that there are chancing jackasses who flood mailboxes?
As for information regarding the person I'm with, when that person wants to volunteer that information they can do. For the moment its not what we want.
in other words they don't know your on here.
that is usually another thing that can put people off replying back to you,oh that and countless cock shots!
Warming the Bed
Quote by Sarah
... I removed my advert and deleted all the responses ...
No wonder I'm still waiting!!
i must admit i dont reply to mails unless they are personally for me (ie from another forumite etc etc) i myself never send mails to anyone other than those i chat to,
dek sends the ones "we would like to know more blah blah" i see replys i read em then tell dek they are there, does he reply, not usually - he asks me to - which in turn i do not either - usually they are people i dont really fancy or just not my cup of tea - or i figure dek sent mail tis his doing so why should i reply :!: (sorry if we have ever offended anyone by doing this )
people have all sorts of reasons why they do not reply just put it down to experience and enjoy your time on this site :thumbup:
dek sends the ones "we would like to know more blah blah" i see replys i read em then tell dek they are there, does he reply, not usually - he asks me to - which in turn i do not either - usually they are people i dont really fancy or just not my cup of tea - or i figure dek sent mail tis his doing so why should i reply :!: (sorry if we have ever offended anyone by doing this )
people have all sorts of reasons why they do not reply just put it down to experience and enjoy your time on this site :thumbup:
Quote by Pendulous007
Hmm I suppose if you get a lot of replies it becomes too much to reply to them all. I see the "why not?" argument to.
Still Its a shame that considerate people (like me
Hello and welcome to the forum :smile: :smile:
Ive had what I think fits *jackass* pm's!! Dont get me started on chat whispers :lol2: :lol2:
I tend to reply to all pm's but takes me a while sometimes...
xanaisx
