I have a son that is almost 18 and we have very a great open relationship where we can talk about anything.
With his 18th birthday looming I have asked on loads of occasions what he would like to do, his friends are all around the same age and have thought about join celebrations, but my son has said he doesn’t want to go out get drunk and find a girl to have sex with, which is what they seem to want to do.
His friends want him to join them but he will put nothing in his way of playing the sports that he loves, they just don’t understand that, but he has over things in his life that he is focused on other than drinking, smoking, and having sex.
I admire him for thinking this way, he said he would like to stay a virgin until the time is right and not when the rest of society seems to think he should (his words not mine).
He does want to meet a girl but only a girl that thinks like he does, but has said all the girls seem to go for the flashy type guys and only like him as a friend.
I have said for now it might seem that way, but in time things change.
I have to say I have great respect for my son and agree with him you don’t have to do things just to feel you fit in, always do what you feel is right for you.
But I feel it is a shame that he feels in someway a bit odd that he isn’t a typical 18 year old, and when the time is right when he meets a girl that they might find him odd too.
His he alone in wanting this?
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Is he odd at 18 wanting this?
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we too have a son, aged 19years, who is currenty in uni and devotes his time to his studies and sport, martial arts, football, cricket, weight training.
He watches his diet not like his dad lol, and rarely drinks alcohol(again not like his dad lol)
We have asked him about girlfriends and his attitude is now and again, and plenty of time for regular girlfriends when he gets his degree.
Seems to have it all worked out, so good luck to him!
He watches his diet not like his dad lol, and rarely drinks alcohol(again not like his dad lol)
We have asked him about girlfriends and his attitude is now and again, and plenty of time for regular girlfriends when he gets his degree.
Seems to have it all worked out, so good luck to him!
Sex God
I think perhaps Minx, you've fallen into the belief that every 18 year old wants to be fuelled on cocaine and alcohol, shag anything that moves and spend the night in the cells after happy slapping someone...
While for some this may be the idea of a good time (namely, cretins) I think a great many young adults are far more mature and responsible in their thinking than people like to give them credit for. However "sensible 18 year old helps old lady with her shopping" sells less papers than "18 year old pregnant with her 35th Child, to an asylum seeker..."
So no, I don't think your son is atypical at all. I think he is well rounded, thoughtful and seems to know what he wants and perhaps most impressively, won't be cow-towed into toeing the line of what his friends expect to be normal behaviour for someone his age.
So I don't think he is alone at all. I think like a great many people that age, he is responsible and sensible.
While for some this may be the idea of a good time (namely, cretins) I think a great many young adults are far more mature and responsible in their thinking than people like to give them credit for. However "sensible 18 year old helps old lady with her shopping" sells less papers than "18 year old pregnant with her 35th Child, to an asylum seeker..."
So no, I don't think your son is atypical at all. I think he is well rounded, thoughtful and seems to know what he wants and perhaps most impressively, won't be cow-towed into toeing the line of what his friends expect to be normal behaviour for someone his age.
So I don't think he is alone at all. I think like a great many people that age, he is responsible and sensible.
Quote by steve-j
we too have a son, aged 19years, who is currenty in uni and devotes his time to his studies and sport, martial arts, football, cricket, weight training.
He watches his diet not like his dad lol, and rarely drinks alcohol(again not like his dad lol)
We have asked him about girlfriends and his attitude is now and again, and plenty of time for regular girlfriends when he gets his degree.
Seems to have it all worked out, so good luck to him!
Spooky, similar to mine. He's also 19 , at Uni , does Martial Arts and devotes his time to his degree studies.
He does not smoke nor drink (does not like the taste). He's had one brief girlfriend at Uni , but that's it.
I am rather proud of him as he is a genuine nice lad who has never caused me a moments grief.
Paul
Right, coming back to this after preparing tea(early I know)
My lad is at uni also, loves the life there, went there a virgin, and lost it to a girl who he went out with for a few months at age 20, she used him for his body he said!
He only wants sex in a relationship, I did encourage that idea though when they all were growing up, and so far they have stuck to it.
Football, rugby, watching it, playing it, going out with his mates, and studying(I hope) all are more important to him at present.
When we picked him up from his last digs at uni, and helped him clean up, there were a lot of screwed up tissues under the bed(yuck) :wink:
My lad is at uni also, loves the life there, went there a virgin, and lost it to a girl who he went out with for a few months at age 20, she used him for his body he said!
He only wants sex in a relationship, I did encourage that idea though when they all were growing up, and so far they have stuck to it.
Football, rugby, watching it, playing it, going out with his mates, and studying(I hope) all are more important to him at present.
When we picked him up from his last digs at uni, and helped him clean up, there were a lot of screwed up tissues under the bed(yuck) :wink:
Quote by Resonance
I think perhaps Minx, you've fallen into the belief that every 18 year old wants to be fuelled on cocaine and alcohol, shag anything that moves and spend the night in the cells after happy slapping someone...
While for some this may be the idea of a good time (namely, cretins) I think a great many young adults are far more mature and responsible in their thinking than people like to give them credit for. However "sensible 18 year old helps old lady with her shopping" sells less papers than "18 year old pregnant with her 35th Child, to an asylum seeker..."
So no, I don't think your son is atypical at all. I think he is well rounded, thoughtful and seems to know what he wants and perhaps most impressively, won't be cow-towed into toeing the line of what his friends expect to be normal behaviour for someone his age.
So I don't think he is alone at all. I think like a great many people that age, he is responsible and sensible.
Res you don't know me that well then.
I don't think that at all, I know many 18 year olds like the ones you have stated. I do however feel a lot in society think differently.
A lot see them as drunken teenagers as papers report and tv programmes about youths abroad seem to always protray them to be.
I know there are a lot of very decent 18 year olds about to, I have in a voluntary capacity worked around 11-21 year olds for the last 5 years.
Quote by Fun365
we too have a son, aged 19years, who is currenty in uni and devotes his time to his studies and sport, martial arts, football, cricket, weight training.
He watches his diet not like his dad lol, and rarely drinks alcohol(again not like his dad lol)
We have asked him about girlfriends and his attitude is now and again, and plenty of time for regular girlfriends when he gets his degree.
Seems to have it all worked out, so good luck to him!
Spooky, similar to mine. He's also 19 , at Uni , does Martial Arts and devotes his time to his degree studies.
He does not smoke nor drink (does not like the taste). He's had one brief girlfriend at Uni , but that's it.
I am rather proud of him as he is a genuine nice lad who has never caused me a moments grief.
Paul
I have always said the same about my son and to him.
People always said wait until he becomes a teenager they change, but I always knew he would never be that typical teenager that a lot of people seem to think they become.
Sex God
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I think perhaps Minx, you've fallen into the belief that every 18 year old wants to be fuelled on cocaine and alcohol, shag anything that moves and spend the night in the cells after happy slapping someone...
While for some this may be the idea of a good time (namely, cretins) I think a great many young adults are far more mature and responsible in their thinking than people like to give them credit for. However "sensible 18 year old helps old lady with her shopping" sells less papers than "18 year old pregnant with her 35th Child, to an asylum seeker..."
So no, I don't think your son is atypical at all. I think he is well rounded, thoughtful and seems to know what he wants and perhaps most impressively, won't be cow-towed into toeing the line of what his friends expect to be normal behaviour for someone his age.
So I don't think he is alone at all. I think like a great many people that age, he is responsible and sensible.
Res you don't know me that well then.
I don't think that at all, I know many 18 year olds like the ones you have stated. I do however feel a lot in society think differently.
A lot see them as drunken teenagers as papers report and tv programmes about youths abroad seem to always protray them to be.
I know there are a lot of very decent 18 year olds about to, I have in a voluntary capacity worked around 11-21 year olds for the last 5 years.
You've lost me a bit there Minxy-poo... Your original post says that you are worried your son could be "alone" in wanting some sensible, responsible things for his 18th birthday and in choosing how he lives his life in general... Whereas the option you named was getting boozed up and bonking things... So if you knew from your experience that he wasn't "alone" in this, and that many other teenagers shared his beliefs (which I wholeheartedly agree with by the way) why phrase the enquiry to seem as if you were ask us if he was alone?
Unless I am totally wrong and confused. In my fevered, ill state that may be the case.
Anyway Minxy- I didn't mean to imply you know nowt about it. So apologies for that. I based my article on the question at hand and my view of it. Which was an error, but I think forgiveable considering how it was phrased and my addled mental state.
Anyway, can I come to your dining room for a blow?
Quote by Resonance
I think perhaps Minx, you've fallen into the belief that every 18 year old wants to be fuelled on cocaine and alcohol, shag anything that moves and spend the night in the cells after happy slapping someone...
While for some this may be the idea of a good time (namely, cretins) I think a great many young adults are far more mature and responsible in their thinking than people like to give them credit for. However "sensible 18 year old helps old lady with her shopping" sells less papers than "18 year old pregnant with her 35th Child, to an asylum seeker..."
So no, I don't think your son is atypical at all. I think he is well rounded, thoughtful and seems to know what he wants and perhaps most impressively, won't be cow-towed into toeing the line of what his friends expect to be normal behaviour for someone his age.
So I don't think he is alone at all. I think like a great many people that age, he is responsible and sensible.
Res you don't know me that well then.
I don't think that at all, I know many 18 year olds like the ones you have stated. I do however feel a lot in society think differently.
A lot see them as drunken teenagers as papers report and tv programmes about youths abroad seem to always protray them to be.
I know there are a lot of very decent 18 year olds about to, I have in a voluntary capacity worked around 11-21 year olds for the last 5 years.
You've lost me a bit there Minxy-poo... Your original post says that you are worried your son could be "alone" in wanting some sensible, responsible things for his 18th birthday and in choosing how he lives his life in general... Whereas the option you named was getting boozed up and bonking things... So if you knew from your experience that he wasn't "alone" in this, and that many other teenagers shared his beliefs (which I wholeheartedly agree with by the way) why phrase the enquiry to seem as if you were ask us if he was alone?
Unless I am totally wrong and confused. In my fevered, ill state that may be the case.
Anyway Minxy- I didn't mean to imply you know nowt about it. So apologies for that. I based my article on the question at hand and my view of it. Which was an error, but I think forgiveable considering how it was phrased and my addled mental state.
Anyway, can I come to your dining room for a blow?
Res what I said is that it is a shame he feel alone, not that I think he is, all his friends do drink and smoke and look for girls, most of the lads his age do, but I also know ones that dont, I could not tell you if they have ever had sex by the time they are 18 as that isnt any of my business, I was generally putting the feelers out to see if others have expierance of teenage boys and their views.
That was what the intent was, maybe it didnt come across correctly. sorry if it all sounded confusing, as I confuse myself a lot of the time to and expect others to understand me
As for the blowing I have retired, you could say passed my best before date :P
Sex God
Dont believe the hype. There are millions of good youngsters out there,(yours amongst em by the sound of it Minxy) and they will make this place great again.
hi, in one word, yes he is. everyone has diff veiws on how to live our lives, but at he end of the day its his life. Our son is going to uni this year havine chose to stay on at school to re-sit some of his exams to get his grades up to A's, when most of his fiends went to uni last year, but never got to go to the uni of there choice because their grades were not as they needed to be, all we will say is accept your children for who they are not what you would like them to be, after all its their life.
Orgasminator
Your son sounds like a lovely bloke.
{credit to you for bringing him up to be who and what he is
}
hope he has a great birthday.
dee
{credit to you for bringing him up to be who and what he is
}hope he has a great birthday.
dee
Orgasminator
Quote by Theladyisaminx
Your son sounds like a lovely bloke.
{credit to you for bringing him up to be who and what he is
hope he has a great birthday.
dee
Thank you xxx
Welcome to the forums
Thank you for the welcome.
Puzzled me at 1st cos I frequently post stuff then I realised im using an old ID :doh:
Membership on Rich_and_dee ran out and cos we are cheapskates we havent renewed it
dee
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/members/Rich_and_dee/profile/
Mod
I Notice that martial arts are mentioned a lot here. oooo!! does that mean I did something right all those eons ago I started it ffs and they said I'd never amount to anything and here's me, a famous chat ops on Swing Heaven ffs eat your heart oot Bruce Lee
Quote by dee_and_Rich
Your son sounds like a lovely bloke.
{credit to you for bringing him up to be who and what he is
hope he has a great birthday.
dee
Thank you xxx
Welcome to the forums
Thank you for the welcome.
Puzzled me at 1st cos I frequently post stuff then I realised im using an old ID :doh:
Membership on Rich_and_dee ran out and cos we are cheapskates we havent renewed it
dee
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/members/Rich_and_dee/profile/
I did wonder :lol:
The post count threw me
Sex God
Sounds to me that you have raised a mature, responsible, level headed young man who is clearly capable of thinking for himself.
Congratulate your self on the wonderful job you have done as a parent, and the same applies to Lucy.
Wish I had a mother like you, one I could openly and honestly talk to.
Congratulate your self on the wonderful job you have done as a parent, and the same applies to Lucy.
Wish I had a mother like you, one I could openly and honestly talk to.
