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Is it ok to ask ??

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I dont know if this has been covered before i'm guessing it has nevertheless...when you have a meet with someone do u feel its ok to ask for what u like sex wise. I know most of us state our dislikes and no no's w/s anal etc but when it comes to the stuff we know is a personal turn on do you ask or just hope for the best. Personally for example I love my hair being held firmly when i'm giving a bj its just the biggest turn on for me but i dont ask I just pray that it happens sometimes. Guys how do u feel about someone asking is it ok or do you feel like your technique is being questioned b4 u even start, likewise for the ladies. Joy xx
I just wrote a very lengthy reply and it bloody disappeared mad
In short, tis good to talk lol
louise xx
i would have though it was ok to talk about what you like sexually so long as you've got past the first drink and decided you both want to actually play, asking what someone like on a first meet b4 they have told you they want to take things further would be a bit of a no no for me.
Quote by louise_and_joe
I just wrote a very lengthy reply and it bloody disappeared mad
In short, tis good to talk lol
louise xx

same here Lou.. I got "topic doesn't exist" then "you cannot reply to this topic"!!! :shock:
so Clove in answer.... yes it's abs. fine, tell them nicely and enjoy!
We normally get that out of the way in horny MSN chats before meets so it's fun all the way when we meet up! :lol:
i quite like things to take a natural course of action, but if it is somthing i really feel in the mood for i will ask, and the majority of the time people are only too pleased to oblige. if it is a definate nono, as in w/s or pain then it should be stipulated at the very begining.
Quote by naughtynymphos1
i would have though it was ok to talk about what you like sexually so long as you've got past the first drink and decided you both want to actually play, asking what someone like on a first meet b4 they have told you they want to take things further would be a bit of a no no for me.

Quote by Sara_2006
i quite like things to take a natural course of action, but if it is somthing i really feel in the mood for i will ask, and the majority of the time people are only too pleased to oblige. if it is a definate nono, as in w/s or pain then it should be stipulated at the very begining.

The above comments are how I feel about it.
However it also depends on how it's done. I would be off putting for me to think that I was there simply 'taking orders' and 'directions', so a little exploring is fun too!
It is encouraging to know when you're doing the right thing though, and it's also quite a turn on to know that the woman is soooo relaxed she feels confident enough to tell you want she'd really like you to do to her. Then to see her enjoying herself when you do it.
redface surprisedops: :oops:
Quote by bbw_lover
i would have though it was ok to talk about what you like sexually so long as you've got past the first drink and decided you both want to actually play, asking what someone like on a first meet b4 they have told you they want to take things further would be a bit of a no no for me.

Quote by Sara_2006
i quite like things to take a natural course of action, but if it is somthing i really feel in the mood for i will ask, and the majority of the time people are only too pleased to oblige. if it is a definate nono, as in w/s or pain then it should be stipulated at the very begining.

The above comments are how I feel about it.
However it also depends on how it's done. I would be off putting for me to think that I was there simply 'taking orders' and 'directions', so a little exploring is fun too!
It is encouraging to know when you're doing the right thing though, and it's also quite a turn on to know that the woman is soooo relaxed she feels confident enough to tell you want she'd really like you to do to her. Then to see her enjoying herself when you do it.
redface surprisedops: :oops:
Agreed - but it's also very nice when you play with someone and they seem to just 'know' what to do to you :twisted:
Quote by Freckledbird
i would have though it was ok to talk about what you like sexually so long as you've got past the first drink and decided you both want to actually play, asking what someone like on a first meet b4 they have told you they want to take things further would be a bit of a no no for me.

Quote by Sara_2006
i quite like things to take a natural course of action, but if it is somthing i really feel in the mood for i will ask, and the majority of the time people are only too pleased to oblige. if it is a definate nono, as in w/s or pain then it should be stipulated at the very begining.

The above comments are how I feel about it.
However it also depends on how it's done. I would be off putting for me to think that I was there simply 'taking orders' and 'directions', so a little exploring is fun too!
It is encouraging to know when you're doing the right thing though, and it's also quite a turn on to know that the woman is soooo relaxed she feels confident enough to tell you want she'd really like you to do to her. Then to see her enjoying herself when you do it.
redface surprisedops: :oops:
Agreed - but it's also very nice when you play with someone and they seem to just 'know' what to do to you :twisted:
again agreed - i find it very offputing when first speaking to someone on msn you havent even agreed to meet yet and they ask you what you like, makes me think nope straight away
Quote by Freckledbird
i would have though it was ok to talk about what you like sexually so long as you've got past the first drink and decided you both want to actually play, asking what someone like on a first meet b4 they have told you they want to take things further would be a bit of a no no for me.

Quote by Sara_2006
i quite like things to take a natural course of action, but if it is somthing i really feel in the mood for i will ask, and the majority of the time people are only too pleased to oblige. if it is a definate nono, as in w/s or pain then it should be stipulated at the very begining.

The above comments are how I feel about it.
However it also depends on how it's done. I would be off putting for me to think that I was there simply 'taking orders' and 'directions', so a little exploring is fun too!
It is encouraging to know when you're doing the right thing though, and it's also quite a turn on to know that the woman is soooo relaxed she feels confident enough to tell you want she'd really like you to do to her. Then to see her enjoying herself when you do it.
redface surprisedops: :oops:
Agreed - but it's also very nice when you play with someone and they seem to just 'know' what to do to you :twisted:
Oh yes!
lol
i am getting better at being able to ask what for what i want but not in a demanding (unless thats required) way like giving someone a list of tasks but more in the throws of things
i admit to a time before i found the scene telling someone to get off i can do it better myself redface
Earthy xxx
Methinks its ok to discuss what you like and don't like but not if its presented like a menu and maybe some things are best brought into the conversation later than a first meet! I dread to think what Mrs Cuk's reaction might have been if I told her on day 1 everything that I would like to do and vice versa (maybe).
There is also the women factor to consider and what lady may like or want one day is not necessarily what she will consent to the next ... so no assumptions at any time! I'm still trying to figure this one out with Mrs Cuk after 13 years biggrin
Quote by earthchild
i am getting better at being able to ask what for what i want but not in a demanding (unless thats required) way like giving someone a list of tasks but more in the throws of things
i admit to a time before i found the scene telling someone to get off i can do it better myself redface
Earthy xxx

:shock: :shock: :shock:
I thought you were a good girl Earthy!
Quote by cukman
Methinks its ok to discuss what you like and don't like but not if its presented like a menu and maybe some things are best brought into the conversation later than a first meet! I dread to think what Mrs Cuk's reaction might have been if I told her on day 1 everything that I would like to do and vice versa (maybe).
There is also the women factor to consider and what lady may like or want one day is not necessarily what she will consent to the next ... so no assumptions at any time! I'm still trying to figure this one out with Mrs Cuk after 13 years biggrin

The same can be said for men.
Quote by Freckledbird
Methinks its ok to discuss what you like and don't like but not if its presented like a menu and maybe some things are best brought into the conversation later than a first meet! I dread to think what Mrs Cuk's reaction might have been if I told her on day 1 everything that I would like to do and vice versa (maybe).
There is also the women factor to consider and what lady may like or want one day is not necessarily what she will consent to the next ... so no assumptions at any time! I'm still trying to figure this one out with Mrs Cuk after 13 years biggrin

The same can be said for men.
Quite right hun! As a man I would hate to go through the same 'procedure' each time. A little variety is what makes it all exciting surely, and that applies to both men and women?
Quote by Clove-hitch
Perhaps i'm just too shy

I'm shy too, sometimes painfully shy, but you don't have to pretend to be who you're not. Do what feels comfortable to you.
Some people can be very upfront and just say what they want, others feel they have to be more subtle, or feel better dropping hints.
Whatever works for you is best.
biggrin
Quote by Clove-hitch
Perhaps i'm just too shy

coughs biggrin
actually i think it depends on the person you are with and the situation you are in, someone new its a bit harder and i get to where i cant ask, but after being with someone a couple of times it gets easier
Earthy xxx
Quote by bbw_lover
Methinks its ok to discuss what you like and don't like but not if its presented like a menu and maybe some things are best brought into the conversation later than a first meet! I dread to think what Mrs Cuk's reaction might have been if I told her on day 1 everything that I would like to do and vice versa (maybe).
There is also the women factor to consider and what lady may like or want one day is not necessarily what she will consent to the next ... so no assumptions at any time! I'm still trying to figure this one out with Mrs Cuk after 13 years biggrin

The same can be said for men.
Quite right hun! As a man I would hate to go through the same 'procedure' each time. A little variety is what makes it all exciting surely, and that applies to both men and women?
nobody was suggesting a procedure ... only likes and dislikes xx
Quote by Clove-hitch
Perhaps i'm just too shy
yer reet lol and ill like my hair held to(mr) :lol: nar best to get things sorted b4 hand hun then there s no part where you have to stop and say"sorry dont like that"
We have a simple approach....we say to people we play with "Ask for anything you like, but don't be offended if we refuse" seems to work.
John & Shel
Quote by bbw_lover
i am getting better at being able to ask what for what i want but not in a demanding (unless thats required) way like giving someone a list of tasks but more in the throws of things
i admit to a time before i found the scene telling someone to get off i can do it better myself redface
Earthy xxx

:shock: :shock: :shock:
I thought you were a good girl Earthy!
oh i am very good :rascal:
Try asking to have your hair held beforeyou put his cock in your mouth. He might not be hearing you properly.
Seriously, we should all be wanting to please our partners and to hear what they like and enjoy should be a turn on for us as well as giving us a chance to please them. And that may well differ from time to time. I've never been good at telepathy though.
I find a woman being honest about sex and what she wants arousing anyway. Good luck in getting the courage to talk.