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Is it us, you or something else???

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We have been on this site for a number of months (since October 2008) and have searched and found some very sexy ladies, who according to their profiles they are bi sexual and looking for couples!! basically looking for exactly what we are.
We spend a fair amount of time constructing well worded, intelligent, witty (ish) messages, obvioulsy to catch there attention, but also to make them aware of who we are, that we have taken the time to read there profile, show we have respect for them and we have understood what they are looking for and yet we have NEVER had a response from anyone, not even a one line "your not what i want"!!!
This has obviously made us question varies areas of our profile, our messages or whether we just don't "fit".
Any advice would be great we are getting to the stage where we wonder why we are on this site!
After 10 months and not one response whether it be good, bad or indiffernet we honestly believe something is definatley wrong somewhere......any advice welcome!!!!
xx
Hi both,
We would have been thrilled to receive a message from you and you would definately have received a reply that would have been a lot more than a one-liner, whatever the answer even if it was from a single guy. We have found time and time again that you put together a nice friendly reply to an advert and many of the people/couples who advertise on all of the sites do not have the manners to reply. Its called 'swinger ettiquette' and it doesn't take much to say 'no-thanks' then everyone knows where they are. The only thing to be learned here is that if they can't bother to reply then they are not worth bothering with!
here is my take on things .. you ask for a single bi female but what about those of us who are in a relationship and are also looking for a bi fem couple.
also no pics of mr to give an idea of what they look like and i dont just mean face pic if you dont want to show face on main profile but what about a general body pic to give an idea of size and shape of body she is on for all to see but you both want to play with the female so why not give an idea of what she is getting and have pics of you both.
This topic has been discussed many times in various forms on here.
I have come to the conclusion that a huge ammount either do not want to meet,or like the fantasy of meeting but will never carry it out.
Then there are others who have a profile but have no intention of meeting either.
Then you have the timewasters and the dreamers and the " couples " profiles that are not couples at all.
Mix all that up and the ammount of people that fit your bill, and are wanting to swing and then want to meet, are hard to find. Even if that does happen you then have to click and have some chemistry.
Blimey it sounds near on impossible but.....it does happen sometimes.
We are a couple that seek single guys from time to time. It says what we are looking for in our profile, but we find it hard. Finding a genuine bi female unattatched and wanting to meet is even harder to find.
Clubs may be a better option to meet others, and a lot of females feel safer in that enviroment, than meeting people outside in the real world.
I know it seems a tiresome trundle of pm's and all that. Then people do not reply which is not good manners.
Keep trying and am sure something will happen to restore your faith. As I have said try a good club and take it from there.
Sara,
The reason we ask for a single bi fem is because we don't want a couple,we also don't personally want some one who is part of a couple and allowed to play alone, we want just a single bi fem, we know exactly what we want and are not afraid to be fussy and yeah may take a while to meet someone (rocking horse shit has been mentioned!) but we would rather be fussy and wait to get what WE want!!
With regards to your comments re pics, yes there is pics of Mr, actually laid naked on the bed for all to see. We have private pics as well if anyone wanted to see so there options are there for all.
The thing that is VERY strange is that on the other sites we are on, we have exactly the same pics, profile, info and people respond to messages, we have had replys simply to say loved the message great to see people take the time to read the profile but no thanks and we have had replys that had lead to us making some great friend and having some fantastic nights.
Maybe this site just isn't for us!!
Haven't you just answered your own question then? You say you are prepared to be fussy and wait for what you want...
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that - more power to you. I suppose you just have to decide how long you are prepared to wait. dunno
There are, as Kent said, lots of people on here and some of them probably will never meet. There are some great people on here though too.
Have you tried using the chatroom? Or Let's Meet Up forum? Or placing an advert? Or searching for bi female profiles? Or answering adverts? Or what about Club Meets forum? How about going along to a social, Munch or club event organised through the site?
Happy swinging whatever you do!
Nola x
Well said Nola and.....what a great chest you have. xx redface
Quote by kentswingers777
Well said Nola and.....what a great chest you have. xx redface

Ta Kenty kiss
We do have to say that no we have not answered our own question, the initial post was regards to people simply not replying to messages!
We have met various single bi fems both in clubs (which we have been attending for quite a while now!) and on other websites and have had fantastic times.
The initial post was "NOT about trying to find a single bi fem", it was with regards to the lack of responses to any kind of messages, as we said whether that be good, bad or indifferent!
It is becoming more and more apparent that there is a huge lack of not only responses but general "swinging ettiquette" and dare we say it all round politeness on here.
We are not old fashioned, we are not demanding, we don't expect anything, but surely common courtesy is to not to much to ask, maybe we are wrong!
Maybe as we said before, this site is simply not for us! Shame though as there some very sexy people on here!!
xx
Ah... the not replying thing!
Yep, don't know what to say about that. Flummoxes me. Seriously, I'm not sure whether some people think that if you message them and you are not perhaps what they are looking for, or maybe they can't meet on the dates suggested or whatever that if they just don't reply that's like saying thanks but no thanks... dunno I honestly don't know; it happens to all of us at some point though.
Quote by Fantasyfull
We do have to say that no we have not answered our own question, the initial post was regards to people simply not replying to messages!

i tell you why people don't reply back to others who have answered their ads...and its quite simple really,they don't want to offend with a "thanks but no thanks!"
on more than one occasion we have replied back to people saying "your not what we are looking for" or "thanks but no thanks!"...and they have taken that to heart and got arsey about it...like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...but sometimes its just less hassle to not reply back at all!
i agre with mr powers, very rare does a noty result in that being the end of that, you can either get arsey replys or another email that requires a reply to be polite and it gets on ya nerves.
maybe the people you have messaged are not full members?
xx fem xx
We know it happens it has happens to us before we don't expect everyone to reply to every message!
We never suggest dates (we don't feel thats not fair on a single bi fem to put that undue pressure on her).
As an experienced bi fem and one half of a couple, it is important to me / us that we make sure the messages we send relate to that person, they are never one liners, they never say fancy a shag, they are all individually thought out!
As we have said this is the only site where we have NEVER had a response to anything!
xx
Quote by fem_4_taboo
i agre with mr powers, very rare does a noty result in that being the end of that, you can either get arsey replys or another email that requires a reply to be polite and it gets on ya nerves.
maybe the people you have messaged are not full members?
xx fem xx

Good point fem :thumbup:
Mr Powers, On the other sites we are on, we have had never had a arsey reply from a thanks but no thanks, we have actually be thanked for simply repling and acknoweldging the message. We have been in clubs and said no and had no said to us, we understand it is part and parcel of the whole scene.
We feel that if some one has taken the time to read the profile and fully understand what we want it is only polite to reply in any way!(to polite for our own good obviously!!)
We have had the thanks but no thanks replys, that to us shows a mutual respect for each others situation. After all we all here for our own "personal" desires, wants, fantasies.
Varca, we do fully understand that single bi fems are very much in demand as we are know they are on all sites, in all clubs every one wants you!
We do have the utmost respect for single bi fems. We understand the constant demand for the "elusive single bi fem" we would never push or expect anything as we have said, but not one reply in 10 months, we obvioulsy question why this site is so very different!!
Quote by Fantasyfull
Mr Powers, On the other sites we are on, we have had never had a arsey reply from a thanks but no thanks, we have actually be thanked for simply repling and acknoweldging the message. We have been in clubs and said no and had no said to us, we understand it is part and parcel of the whole scene.

If your so happy with these other sites...why stick around here,every site works diffently...this is not a free site for most...and if you send a PM to someone,your going to have to be really worth a reply back because the other party has to pay to do so.
And for your information its not just this site you get arsey remarks from...we too get it from other sites,aswell as getting a thanks for replying back to them...Single bi-fems are the rarest things on any site...they also get the most replys to their ads...they can afford to be fussy or choosey or just cannot simply reply back to everyone.
wave I'm one of the naughty people who doesn't reply to all my messages. Why? Because I'm not looking at the moment, I don't have a advert, I state on my profile I' not playing but still I get about 5-10 messages a day from people. I don't reply to them as often I'm here doing other stuff and don't have time, plus quite often when you send a 'no thanks' type message people try to use it to engage you or get arsey about it and borderline abusive in some cases.
Some people do well on this site and some don't. Personally I think the main difference is the way that people use the site. Some people take the time on here getting themselves known and getting to know people. Others just expect that as they paid up and joined that people should be falling over themselves to meet them.
As others have said, have you tried using LMU, the chatroom, posting your own ads, going to socials and munches etc. Personally I do think this site has a lot of options for people but the key is finding the way it works best for YOU!
Mr Powers, We find it disappointing that in the time we have been on the websites and in the swinging scene, your message is actually one of the worst we have every recieved.
We find it disappointing and quite amazing that we have had such a backlash from this forum post, we asked for advice on where we may be going wrong or any suggestions as to how we may improve our success on this site, as we are aware they all work differently so we HOPED someone who has been on this site longer than we had could offer any guidance / advice.
Everybody who has replied has viewed our profile (yes we paid for the extras, the only cost involved in this site!)
We are fully aware of the fact that single bi fem's are the most in demand, they have full control of the situations, they can pick and choose that is why the the messages we have sent to them actually say that and we respect that totally! They have the right to be, as do we, as does everyone on these sites.
We never asked for advice on how to meet "single bi fems", we have had that pleasure previously, as it does say on our profile.
Poshkate, If a profile says they are not meeting, not playing etc, we will not send a message, we respect the fact that they have said that. We have realised some people just enjoy the chatrooms and we will never critise / complain about that as the people as they make it clear on there profiles.
We are sorry that asking for advice has stirred up such a hornets nest.
Hi guys..... this isn't a backlash against your post. People have posted a number of ways to try and increase you success rate on the site. Have a read of the ideas given and see if the help you.
Quote by Mr-Powers
like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...

you should be on stage....... :giggle:
Quote by Fantasyfull
Mr Powers, We find it disappointing that in the time we have been on the websites and in the swinging scene, your message is actually one of the worst we have every recieved.
We find it disappointing and quite amazing that we have had such a backlash from this forum post, we asked for advice on where we may be going wrong or any suggestions as to how we may improve our success on this site, as we are aware they all work differently so we HOPED someone who has been on this site longer than we had could offer any guidance / advice.
Everybody who has replied has viewed our profile (yes we paid for the extras, the only cost involved in this site!)
We are fully aware of the fact that single bi fem's are the most in demand, they have full control of the situations, they can pick and choose that is why the the messages we have sent to them actually say that and we respect that totally! They have the right to be, as do we, as does everyone on these sites.
We never asked for advice on how to meet "single bi fems", we have had that pleasure previously, as it does say on our profile.
Poshkate, If a profile says they are not meeting, not playing etc, we will not send a message, we respect the fact that they have said that. We have realised some people just enjoy the chatrooms and we will never critise / complain about that as the people as they make it clear on there profiles.
We are sorry that asking for advice has stirred up such a hornets nest.

I can't see why my message is the worse you have ever recieved on here...all i have done is give you some sound honest feedback...besides i'm confused are you asking for advice on how to make your profile stand out or are you asking why people don't reply to you??
Quote by markz
like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...

you should be on stage....... :giggle:
Yeah...i fancy myself as a ventriloquist...you'd make the perfect dummy! lol
I didnt reply to yours because if the truth be told I couldnt be bothered (not nice maybe but honest), apart from typing my name at the top and heading the email with my eye colour it just looked like a copy and paste, not really saying anything other than mail us please.
Surely rather than being pee'd about those that don't reply why dont you look at it that if they lack the manners you wouldn't want to meet them anyway ??
In general I try to reply to most emails probably get about 8/10 a day and in truth I reply more to single males than couples. Why because they dont generally come back cranky about it. I find couples either want it all on there terms or total opposite and all they want to do is please.... I dont want either approach, I am just a gal out having fun. I dont want to call all the shots nor do I want to have to jump to others commands.
(None of the last paragraph is intended for anyone in particular)
Quote by Mr-Powers
like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...

you should be on stage....... :giggle:
Yeah...i fancy myself as a ventriloquist...you'd make the perfect dummy! lol
you want to suck me don't you.......... rolleyes
Quote by markz
like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...

you should be on stage....... :giggle:
Yeah...i fancy myself as a ventriloquist...you'd make the perfect dummy! lol
you want to suck me don't you.......... rolleyes
Ah Ah wish i could fly...way up to the sky...but i can't!!
Quote by Mr-Powers
like we are too good for them...perhaps we are...

you should be on stage....... :giggle:
Yeah...i fancy myself as a ventriloquist...you'd make the perfect dummy! lol
you want to suck me don't you.......... rolleyes
Ah Ah wish i could fly...way up to the sky...but i can't!!
you'd need two jet engins to get off the ground...... :lol:
We have been visting clubs longer than we have been on websites, we do mention that we attend clubs in our advert, we have the advert, we have the pics, we do use the chatrooms.
We were not asking for advice on how to meet a single bi fem, we have had that amazing opportunity previously.
It felt as though nobody was actually responding to the post, we simply got a barrage "what to do lists".
We did try through out the forums post to make it clear we have had meets, we understand the "ettiquette". We actually wanted was advice on this site!
We make a concious effort in our message to explain that we know that the "single bi fem" has ultimate control, she is the one who is in charge and we both understand, respect that fact and would never expect it to be any other way.
We have never asked for advice on how to make our profile stand out, how to find people, what features to use we just wanted to know why in 10 months we hadn't had one message or one reply, when in the same time on others we have, we asked for advice on that. Maybe that wasn't made clear.
We liked this site, we liked the people we searched, the people we sent messages to, some very sexy people as we have said before.
Mr powers, you really were brutal in your repsonse, we are on other sites, we asked advice on this one and you basically told us to leave!
Certain replies to this post are not relevant at all they basically hadn't read the post, hence why we felt the backlash.
Second post on this thread
Quote by Fantasyfull
...........
The thing that is VERY strange is that on the other sites we are on..........

Third post in this thread
Quote by Fantasyfull
........
We have met various single bi fems both in clubs (which we have been attending for quite a while now!) and on other websites and have had fantastic times........

Fourth post on this thread
Quote by Fantasyfull
.......
As we have said this is the only site where we have NEVER had a response to anything!......

Fifth post on this thread
Quote by Fantasyfull
.....On the other sites we are on .........

I was kinda wondering if you were on commission. Oh and can I add my request for the website that has SBFs aplenty? I'm sure you've had lots of requests for that information already. :lol2:
I promise this isn't a backlash (I've been here long enough to recognise one when it happens and there's no blood and hair everywhere, so this ain't one :lol2: ), but you have been offered some advice about the site and I feel you have been very negative in your view of this.
Before you take a shot at me or storm off, let me say I can understand why you have been negative. If you have been successful one one site and not another then I can see how that would be frustrating.
This site is the biggest dedicated swinging site in the UK, but don't take my word for it, go to any traffic comparison site and put in this site and another and see the results. :shock:
For that reason there's going to be a high number of dreamers, people who get cold feet, fakes and any other number of people with their own agenda.
As for advice, have a look at the other site and try to see why you're more successful. Is the site smaller and more of a closed community? How have you found the people to meet? Was it solely by the site, or did you meet at socials as well?
If you're having a higher strike rate on one place rather than another there must be something going awry, so maybe have a step back and look at both places more objectively.
Quote by Fantasyfull
We were not asking for advice on how to meet a single bi fem, we have had that amazing opportunity previously.
It felt as though nobody was actually responding to the post, we simply got a barrage "what to do lists".
Any advice would be great we are getting to the stage where we wonder why we are on this site!

We did try through out the forums post to make it clear we have had meets, we understand the "ettiquette". We actually wanted was advice on this site!
We make a concious effort in our message to explain that we know that the "single bi fem" has ultimate control, she is the one who is in charge and we both understand, respect that fact and would never expect it to be any other way.
We have never asked for advice on how to make our profile stand out, how to find people, what features to use we just wanted to know why in 10 months we hadn't had one message or one reply, when in the same time on others we have, we asked for advice on that. Maybe that wasn't made clear.
We liked this site, we liked the people we searched, the people we sent messages to, some very sexy people as we have said before.
Mr powers, you really were brutal in your repsonse, we are on other sites, we asked advice on this one and you basically told us to leave!
Quote by Fantasyfull
The thing that is VERY strange is that on the other sites we are on, we have exactly the same pics, profile, info and people respond to messages, we have had replys simply to say loved the message great to see people take the time to read the profile but no thanks and we have had replys that had lead to us making some great friend and having some fantastic nights.
Maybe this site just isn't for us!!

Certain replies to this post are not relevant at all they basically hadn't read the post, hence why we felt the backlash.
No i never basically told you to leave...i just asked "why stick around if its making you so miserable?"
Anyone for one of my home baked fruit scones? confused
wink x