It seems in this place that suppose to be open and honest and accepting of people no matter what, that just doesn't seem to be the case with some here.
I had faith when coming here that people were accepting, forgiven, and thoughtful of others.
Some people here are great loving. kind, generous and true.
But there always seem some that like to control these forums the way they like them, I find that underminds a lot of new people that were coming through with new thoughts and ideas of mixed topics.
Well I have done the playground when I was at school, I like to talk to adults with open views that I can learn from and that could teach me something I don't know.
I have met a lot of these people here and I would like to hug and kiss you all.
Stay in touch I still have my account I would not like to lose touch, you mean to much to me and have helped me come so far.
But I am away to continue my journey of discovery elsewhere, thanks for listening to my ramblings take care all and have fun
Minx
xxx
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leaving the forums, with a veiled reference as to who you think ruins the place for you and others doesnt help very constructively does it?
Whilst I accept that it is your free choice to stay or not... anyone reading this is going to be confused as to how or why you feel the way you do... and be non the wiser as to whom or what has made you feel this way... whilst they might at the same time have alot of sympathy and empathy with you.
that isnt going to help increase the amount of regular posters, is it?
go on, name and shame... or at least be a bit more specific !!!!( many will probably agree with you!!!)
Whilst I accept that it is your free choice to stay or not... anyone reading this is going to be confused as to how or why you feel the way you do... and be non the wiser as to whom or what has made you feel this way... whilst they might at the same time have alot of sympathy and empathy with you.
that isnt going to help increase the amount of regular posters, is it?
go on, name and shame... or at least be a bit more specific !!!!( many will probably agree with you!!!)
Sex God
Quote by Theladyisaminx
It seems in this place that suppose to be open and honest and accepting of people no matter what, that just doesn't seem to be the case with some here.
I had faith when coming here that people were accepting, forgiven, and thoughtful of others.
Some people here are great loving. kind, generous and true.
But there always seem some that like to control these forums the way they like them, I find that underminds a lot of new people that were coming through with new thoughts and ideas of mixed topics.
Well I have done the playground when I was at school, I like to talk to adults with open views that I can learn from and that could teach me something I don't know.
I have met a lot of these people here and I would like to hug and kiss you all.
Stay in touch I still have my account I would not like to lose touch, you mean to much to me and have helped me come so far.
But I am away to continue my journey of discovery elsewhere, thanks for listening to my ramblings take care all and have fun
Minx
xxx
People have differences of opinion often. Feelings run high and fall outs happen. I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to Minxy, I don't think I want to know either. Naming and shaming is not something I would expect from anyone here.
If I'm totally honest, I don't really understand these sorts of threads at all either. It sort of says to me that you want people to persuade you to stay. You announce a flounce and expect responses, if you're gonna go then just go. Personally I don't think you should but if you've made up your mind to then I wish you well in your future discoveries. I think it's all quite unnecessary to announce a departure in this way. It just creates questions and gossip and I really don't like it. If you have an issue with someone, take it to PM and sort it out. Like you say, you thought we were all adults, that works both ways. We don't always agree, sometimes we have to agree to disagree, that's what happens in every day life, why should here be any different?
Throwing toys out of prams is a little bit of an attention seeking waste of time and just makes you look bad. I'd rather just disappear than have people rolling their eyes at a half arsed attempt at a flounce. If you think people are trying to control the forums the way they want them then you're playing right into their hands. What happened to sticking with what you believe in? Other people have the right to believe what they believe just like you do.
Sorry chick... probably not what you were hoping for but that's just how I feel.
can I just take up the point of "naming and shaming" again....
Im not one for out and out naming and shaming in respect of meets etc ...ie. "so and so failed to turn up without informing me" etc.. but there is a difference between that and stating " I dont like so and so's threads because he/she blah blah blah.
I feel it is wrong to not allow/frown upon the latter,particularly when the irony is that any member can post a third hand biased article in respect of a non-member who cant defend himself/herself... and then go on to judge/berate/critisize the subject of the article to degrees that wouldnt be tolerated against other members.
Im not one for out and out naming and shaming in respect of meets etc ...ie. "so and so failed to turn up without informing me" etc.. but there is a difference between that and stating " I dont like so and so's threads because he/she blah blah blah.
I feel it is wrong to not allow/frown upon the latter,particularly when the irony is that any member can post a third hand biased article in respect of a non-member who cant defend himself/herself... and then go on to judge/berate/critisize the subject of the article to degrees that wouldnt be tolerated against other members.
Sex God
Quote by DeeCee
can I just take up the point of "naming and shaming" again....
Im not one for out and out naming and shaming in respect of meets etc ...ie. "so and so failed to turn up without informing me" etc.. but there is a difference between that and stating " I dont like so and so's threads because he/she blah blah blah.
I feel it is wrong to not allow/frown upon the latter,particularly when the irony is that any member can post a third hand biased article in respect of a non-member who cant defend himself/herself... and then go on to judge/berate/critisize the subject of the article to degrees that wouldnt be tolerated against other members.
Yup... you can take up whatever point you like... it's a forum, that's what we do!
However, I'll never agree with you. I don't think there's any need for naming and shaming in any circumstances and I don't think there's a difference in it whether it's about a meet or a comment on a forum. In whichever situation, all it does is cause others to judge without knowing all the facts. Make up your own mind about people, using other people's experiences to judge someone else to me screams of a backward version of the V word. It's not something I'll support.
Whoever Minxy has issues with are between Minxy and that/those person(s). They're not your business, they're not my business, that's what the PM button is for and it's why I don't like threads like these.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
It seems in this place that suppose to be open and honest and accepting of people no matter what, that just doesn't seem to be the case with some here.
I had faith when coming here that people were accepting, forgiven, and thoughtful of others.
Some people here are great loving. kind, generous and true.
But there always seem some that like to control these forums the way they like them, I find that underminds a lot of new people that were coming through with new thoughts and ideas of mixed topics.
Well I have done the playground when I was at school, I like to talk to adults with open views that I can learn from and that could teach me something I don't know.
I have met a lot of these people here and I would like to hug and kiss you all.
Stay in touch I still have my account I would not like to lose touch, you mean to much to me and have helped me come so far.
But I am away to continue my journey of discovery elsewhere, thanks for listening to my ramblings take care all and have fun
Minx
xxx
Awwwww Minx - dont go, i for one may not post a lot having fallen foul once or twice myself in here, but i love reading the "ramblings" you put up on here and the replies, some of the more thought provoking ones i find.
We all have blips with other people and their views, some make us cry with laughter others make us rant and we wonder why we bother.
But you know eventually things die down again and we continue as we did before.
The forum will be a quieter place without you no doubt and at the end of the day only you know your reasons behind it if you do leave, just remember that the regular posters on here are only a small minority who browse these sections on a daily (or in my case <ahem> hourly) basis and who enjoy listening to your thoughts of the day.
Whichever way you go, take care and best wishes and dont let the buggers get ya down
Sex God
With respect Dee Cee, naming and shaming of people is entirely subjective based on those making the allegations, and as such, entirely counter-productive if the aim is to make people's opinions heard on the forum. I feel people would be far less inclined to post if their views are likely to be the subject of ridicule, or openly "shamed" in a post because someone else doesn't agree with them. If you are implying there are "Forum bullys" then that is an issue for Site Admin, not for debate on the Forum. If folk started slinging such flimsy, baseless, woolly accusations around is not going to improve anything at all on the forums, for anybody.
While I also agree with DG that threads like these can create their own problems. I also feel that if Minx, or anyone else, has an issue with the way they are treated on here, they should be able to raise it. I've heard it said that the "clique" or "coven" always leap to each others defence regardless of the post, but more to do with the ritual belittling or attempted character assassination of a poster. I don't believe that for one second. I do believe that some people have differing views, but also a lot of people share the same view. That doesn't make them a clique, merely in accord with that point of view and while it can seem that a point of view is attempting to be "shouted down in numbers" to me that is all the more reason to keep posting. Your view on a subject is as valid as anyone else's, regardless of who or how many argue counter to it. The moment it gets personal, is the time to call in Admin and let them deal with the issue. I have seldom seen that in any posts to be honest.
I really don't like it when people attempt to divide and conquer and create an "us and them" mentality. Nobody benefits in such circumstances, it just breeds resentment and in the end destroys the essence of what the Forum is supposed to be about. Accepting each others preference and opinions and while not necessarily agreeing with them. If we can do that as swingers, why do some people find it hard to do so as people in general?
I stay out of "forum politics" because it will always end in tears. I will speak to anyone and everyone. I don't care if you think I am marvellous, or an arsehole. I won't take any sides. I will stand up for someone being bullied, I will stand up if I see something I think is unfair and unjust and I will say so pointedly. Regardless if who you are. I may be looking at this a tad naively, but I don't see much evidence of a split, or clique, or sides. I see groups of people, some friends or just acquaintances on the forum, some swinging buds, who just have different views on subjects. What I do sometimes see, which is more disconcerting, is certain posts wishing to propagate the myth of some great divide, or controlling influence of the forum, for their own means. The attempt to "divide and conquer". Usually as a result of the original post being so flimsy in it's pretence it is easier to point the finger at the dreaded "clique" than to add weight to the initial point being made, or maybe even simply that you just want to see some "gobby" forumite get their comeuppance.
Good luck, but if that's your aim it will end in tears. There are too many sensible people about for that to happen. It is transparent in the extreme.
So Minxy, your voice has a place as loud and as strong as anyone else's. People may not agree, but that's their look out. The forum is for everyone's view, not just the "perceived chosen few".
And if all else fails, just post abject bollocks like I do. Nobody can disagree with that because it is all just bilge to begin with. ;-)
While I also agree with DG that threads like these can create their own problems. I also feel that if Minx, or anyone else, has an issue with the way they are treated on here, they should be able to raise it. I've heard it said that the "clique" or "coven" always leap to each others defence regardless of the post, but more to do with the ritual belittling or attempted character assassination of a poster. I don't believe that for one second. I do believe that some people have differing views, but also a lot of people share the same view. That doesn't make them a clique, merely in accord with that point of view and while it can seem that a point of view is attempting to be "shouted down in numbers" to me that is all the more reason to keep posting. Your view on a subject is as valid as anyone else's, regardless of who or how many argue counter to it. The moment it gets personal, is the time to call in Admin and let them deal with the issue. I have seldom seen that in any posts to be honest.
I really don't like it when people attempt to divide and conquer and create an "us and them" mentality. Nobody benefits in such circumstances, it just breeds resentment and in the end destroys the essence of what the Forum is supposed to be about. Accepting each others preference and opinions and while not necessarily agreeing with them. If we can do that as swingers, why do some people find it hard to do so as people in general?
I stay out of "forum politics" because it will always end in tears. I will speak to anyone and everyone. I don't care if you think I am marvellous, or an arsehole. I won't take any sides. I will stand up for someone being bullied, I will stand up if I see something I think is unfair and unjust and I will say so pointedly. Regardless if who you are. I may be looking at this a tad naively, but I don't see much evidence of a split, or clique, or sides. I see groups of people, some friends or just acquaintances on the forum, some swinging buds, who just have different views on subjects. What I do sometimes see, which is more disconcerting, is certain posts wishing to propagate the myth of some great divide, or controlling influence of the forum, for their own means. The attempt to "divide and conquer". Usually as a result of the original post being so flimsy in it's pretence it is easier to point the finger at the dreaded "clique" than to add weight to the initial point being made, or maybe even simply that you just want to see some "gobby" forumite get their comeuppance.
Good luck, but if that's your aim it will end in tears. There are too many sensible people about for that to happen. It is transparent in the extreme.
So Minxy, your voice has a place as loud and as strong as anyone else's. People may not agree, but that's their look out. The forum is for everyone's view, not just the "perceived chosen few".
And if all else fails, just post abject bollocks like I do. Nobody can disagree with that because it is all just bilge to begin with. ;-)
Quote by Dirtygirly
Throwing toys out of prams is a little bit of an attention seeking waste of time and just makes you look bad. I'd rather just disappear than have people rolling their eyes at a half arsed attempt at a flounce. If you think people are trying to control the forums the way they want them then you're playing right into their hands. What happened to sticking with what you believe in? Other people have the right to believe what they believe just like you do.
And if someone wants to announce their departure like this then surely in the same respects they should be allowed to without being accused of "Throwing toys out of prams"
You might be more than happy to just slide away from the forums unnoticed but that isnt Minx's style - whether you personally think that is right or wrong - that is her choice, her right and her perogative at the end of the day without having comments like that made. I read your comments as a personal attack on her character and it just reinforces why, when i post, i dont post on anything but "fluffy" threads now.
Yes people are entitled to differing opinions, but to have a go at someones personality, their character, thats what i find wrong in these forums.
And now because i have a rough idea what might be coming....
Sex God
Bye Minx 
:wave: :wave:
:wave: :wave: 
Quote by benrums0n
Yes personal attacks are far more common and acceptable here than onother forums I use.
Tc Minx I shall miss your compassion wit and insight.
Thats a shame - personal attacks shouldnt be "acceptable" anywhere especially on here where ppl are supposed to be more open and understanding.
Sex God
Quote by Purple-bug
Throwing toys out of prams is a little bit of an attention seeking waste of time and just makes you look bad. I'd rather just disappear than have people rolling their eyes at a half arsed attempt at a flounce. If you think people are trying to control the forums the way they want them then you're playing right into their hands. What happened to sticking with what you believe in? Other people have the right to believe what they believe just like you do.
And if someone wants to announce their departure like this then surely in the same respects they should be allowed to without being accused of "Throwing toys out of prams"
You might be more than happy to just slide away from the forums unnoticed but that isnt Minx's style - whether you personally think that is right or wrong - that is her choice, her right and her perogative at the end of the day without having comments like that made. I read your comments as a personal attack on her character and it just reinforces why, when i post, i dont post on anything but "fluffy" threads now.
Yes people are entitled to differing opinions, but to have a go at someones personality, their character, thats what i find wrong in these forums.
And now because i have a rough idea what might be coming....
My post was in no way a personal attack on Minxy and I'm offended that you see it as such. You don't know me, if you did you'd know full well that I would never make a personal attack on anyone in open forum or for that matter in private regardless of my personal feelings towards that person. I'm not going to justify myself to you or to anyone else for having an opinion on threads of this nature.
My comments were a general observation on threads such as this, that is my opinion which I stand by regardless of who made the thread on this occasion or any other. If you choose to read it as anything other than that then there's little I can do to change your opinion, to which you're entitled.
I'd thank you not to accuse me of personally attacking anyone which is not the case and it certainly wasn't how it was intended, nor was it read that way by Minxy.
Sex God
*** Damn! I forgot to include the quote from Ben about personal attacks! That should be here! *** Sorry!
I agree wholeheartedly.
I would merely observe that what some people choose to see as a "personal attack" is nothing of the sort.
If you make a statement or opinion and people argue counter to that, that isn't personal, provided the opinion is attacked, rather than the poster. I think a great many people have difficulty distinguishing between the two, I also think some people's posts tread the fine line between the two. Sometimes intentionally so.
Some people don't like their opinions questioned and when they are, can take it personally even if it is nothing of the sort. If that is the case, why raise them in here in the first place?
As I say, I have no idea what upset Minx, but I don't feel walking away is the answer. But nor is implying that there is some mystical clique who control the forum either. If someone has made a personal attack, contact Admin to let them deal with it, and shame on the person for doing so. If they've attacked your opinion vehemently, then that is the risk you take when you post something. If you cannot distinguish between the two, then that is a personal fallibility, not a forum one.
I agree wholeheartedly.
I would merely observe that what some people choose to see as a "personal attack" is nothing of the sort.
If you make a statement or opinion and people argue counter to that, that isn't personal, provided the opinion is attacked, rather than the poster. I think a great many people have difficulty distinguishing between the two, I also think some people's posts tread the fine line between the two. Sometimes intentionally so.
Some people don't like their opinions questioned and when they are, can take it personally even if it is nothing of the sort. If that is the case, why raise them in here in the first place?
As I say, I have no idea what upset Minx, but I don't feel walking away is the answer. But nor is implying that there is some mystical clique who control the forum either. If someone has made a personal attack, contact Admin to let them deal with it, and shame on the person for doing so. If they've attacked your opinion vehemently, then that is the risk you take when you post something. If you cannot distinguish between the two, then that is a personal fallibility, not a forum one.
Quote by Resonance
*** Damn! I forgot to include the quote from Ben about personal attacks! That should be here! *** Sorry!
I agree wholeheartedly.
I would merely observe that what some people choose to see as a "personal attack" is nothing of the sort.
If you make a statement or opinion and people argue counter to that, that isn't personal, provided the opinion is attacked, rather than the poster. I think a great many people have difficulty distinguishing between the two, I also think some people's posts tread the fine line between the two. Sometimes intentionally so.
Some people don't like their opinions questioned and when they are, can take it personally even if it is nothing of the sort. If that is the case, why raise them in here in the first place?
As I say, I have no idea what upset Minx, but I don't feel walking away is the answer. But nor is implying that there is some mystical clique who control the forum either. If someone has made a personal attack, contact Admin to let them deal with it, and shame on the person for doing so. If they've attacked your opinion vehemently, then that is the risk you take when you post something. If you cannot distinguish between the two, then that is a personal fallibility, not a forum one.
just about everything does actually!
on ebay ive seen peoples home addresses, phone numbers and msn details posted, and even a full face photo posted for all to see on there too (accusing him of trolling)
funnily enough he was someone i recognised from a site not a million miles away from here :whistle: cos it was the same photo he used :shock:
people have been accused, slandered, libelled and outed on there as liars, thieves, paedophiles, nut cases, swingers :shock: and more besides....i really think this place is tame in comparison
funnily enough he was someone i recognised from a site not a million miles away from here :whistle: cos it was the same photo he used :shock:
people have been accused, slandered, libelled and outed on there as liars, thieves, paedophiles, nut cases, swingers :shock: and more besides....i really think this place is tame in comparison
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
on ebay...people have been accused, slandered, libelled and outed on there as liars, thieves, paedophiles, nut cases, swingers :shock: and more besides....
Feck! Swingers!!!!!!!!
Sex God
Now what would be a real shame is if Nola left - I love seeing the old threads bumped back up and she's got a real eye for the funny ones
I guess the problem is, most people will only post a response if it is in conflict with the original statement. Any comment other than that which is just an 'I agree'. You only have to look at the numbers of people who have read a thread and compare it to the number of comments to see how many people either have no opinion/no alternate opinion they feel compelled to express (allowing for people who are not paid up members so can't respond anyway). I must admit, I often gloss over 'I agree' or emoticon replies although I am aware they are there.
Quote by Dirtygirly
It seems in this place that suppose to be open and honest and accepting of people no matter what, that just doesn't seem to be the case with some here.
I had faith when coming here that people were accepting, forgiven, and thoughtful of others.
Some people here are great loving. kind, generous and true.
But there always seem some that like to control these forums the way they like them, I find that underminds a lot of new people that were coming through with new thoughts and ideas of mixed topics.
Well I have done the playground when I was at school, I like to talk to adults with open views that I can learn from and that could teach me something I don't know.
I have met a lot of these people here and I would like to hug and kiss you all.
Stay in touch I still have my account I would not like to lose touch, you mean to much to me and have helped me come so far.
But I am away to continue my journey of discovery elsewhere, thanks for listening to my ramblings take care all and have fun
Minx
xxx
People have differences of opinion often. Feelings run high and fall outs happen. I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to Minxy, I don't think I want to know either. Naming and shaming is not something I would expect from anyone here.
If I'm totally honest, I don't really understand these sorts of threads at all either. It sort of says to me that you want people to persuade you to stay. You announce a flounce and expect responses, if you're gonna go then just go. Personally I don't think you should but if you've made up your mind to then I wish you well in your future discoveries. I think it's all quite unnecessary to announce a departure in this way. It just creates questions and gossip and I really don't like it. If you have an issue with someone, take it to PM and sort it out. Like you say, you thought we were all adults, that works both ways. We don't always agree, sometimes we have to agree to disagree, that's what happens in every day life, why should here be any different?
Throwing toys out of prams is a little bit of an attention seeking waste of time and just makes you look bad. I'd rather just disappear than have people rolling their eyes at a half arsed attempt at a flounce. If you think people are trying to control the forums the way they want them then you're playing right into their hands. What happened to sticking with what you believe in? Other people have the right to believe what they believe just like you do.
Sorry chick... probably not what you were hoping for but that's just how I feel.
Call me mr Touchy. If I was th OP and this was the response I would take it as a personal attack.
Sex God
Quote by benrums0n
Call me mr Touchy. If I was th OP and this was the response I would take it as a personal attack.
Well Mr Touchy, fortunately you're not the OP, who incidentally didn't take it as a personal attack but as an honest opinion which was as it was intended.
Mod
:shock:
WE have a Mr Touchy now!!!!!!
well I never :lol:
WE have a Mr Touchy now!!!!!!
well I never
:lol: Sex God
Quote by flower411
Call me mr Touchy. If I was th OP and this was the response I would take it as a personal attack.
Well Mr Touchy, fortunately you're not the OP, who incidentally didn't take it as a personal attack but as an honest opinion which was as it was intended.
If he`s Mr Touchy, can I be Mr Feely ??
Oooooooooooooooh yeah... I like that idea! :rascal:
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Can I feel ya sticky buns ??? :giggle:
If you move to the left a little you might be able to! :rascal:
the problem is so many people are so bloody sensitive...i don't agree with you ...you don't agree with me...so what...thats also like life in the big bad world not just here in the forums...we are always going to challenge each other with what we say and think...why do people always assume its personal...and say "thats it,i'm off,because you had the nerve to dissagree with me or challenge my comments,i'm very sensitive you know and you've gone and hurt my feelings!"
