Hiya all!
I was just thinking about recent events between myself and mr naughty and I was wondering...
Does anyone think a relationship can survive when there is a lot of jealoisy and mis trust in it?
Also does anyone know if there is a way to help get over being so jealous?
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Jealousy
Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Hiya all
Does anyone think a relationship can survive when there is a lot of jealoisy and mis trust in it?
Also does anyone know if there is a way to help get over being so jealous?
What I think works best, and is ages old..........is talking............talking................talking.
That way you hopefully put to sleep any worries or concerns you have. Jealousy is usually feeling insucure, and that can sometimes be remedied with talking and being honest. Mis trust could be harder to conquer. Without trust it is hard to develop further.
I hope that makes some sense.
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Does anyone think a relationship can survive when there is a lot of jealoisy and mis trust in it?
No. It needs to be talked over and resolved.
Without more detail it's otherwise hard to say, but I'm sure you don't want to go spilling the details here for all to see.
Quote by MrsFC
What I think works best, and is ages old..........is talking............talking................talking.
That way you hopefully put to sleep any worries or concerns you have. Jealousy is usually feeling insucure, and that can sometimes be remedied with talking and being honest. Mis trust could be harder to conquer. Without trust it is hard to develop further.
I hope that makes some sense.
Clear as crystal to me MrsFC
Jealousy is something that has a cause, either by feeling as if your not included, valued, or the most important...insecure with where both you are.
If two people are truly in tune everything is discussed before it becomes an issue...to hide whatever is causing the problem only perpetuates it...that shows miss trust in the other persons opinions and feelings, and once you start miss trusting its a long slippery slope.
So talk and talk, and talk! Never stop talking!
err....is the jealousy from your side or his ?
The jealousy is coming from me manofmuchfun, not that i want it to be like!
I've tried talking, over and over. My jaws hurting with talking but it just seems to go round and round and round in my head bugging me.
Everything he says to me I keep thinking over then I think to myself "oh hes lying".
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut or something
Quote by amylou
Jealousy is either part of your personality or it isn't in my opinion, don't try and change it just find someone who can deal with it.
Yes I agree with this to an extent - Jealousy is part of a personality but it is usually caused by insecurities.
If you can deal with the insecurities then the Jealousy wont exist anymore.
Dxxx
.
In my humble opinion jealousy is a normal human trait but taken to the extreme can become like a cancer eating away at a relationship, talking is the only way to resolve the demons but even this can sometimes not be enough, reassurance is paramount even if the innocent party has done nothing wrong reassuring your partner & trying to understand what the cause is, is the only way forward.
I was with a very jealous woman for fifteen years & all the effort in the world couldn’t stop the jealousy rearing its head over & over, but as it turned out this was to do with deep rooted problems that even I could never put right, counselling helped but was too late for the relationship to survive so from my point of view jealousy is a killer that needs to be dealt with quickly if you want any chance of a future together.
Hope you can sort it out lil miz.
Mark
In my humble opinion jealousy is a normal human trait but taken to the extreme can become like a cancer eating away at a relationship, talking is the only way to resolve the demons but even this can sometimes not be enough, reassurance is paramount even if the innocent party has done nothing wrong reassuring your partner & trying to understand what the cause is, is the only way forward.
I was with a very jealous woman for fifteen years & all the effort in the world couldn’t stop the jealousy rearing its head over & over, but as it turned out this was to do with deep rooted problems that even I could never put right, counselling helped but was too late for the relationship to survive so from my point of view jealousy is a killer that needs to be dealt with quickly if you want any chance of a future together.
Hope you can sort it out lil miz.
Mark
It depends on whether the jealousy is there for a reason or not.
You say there is mistrust, if this is a causing factor of your jealousy then it will be very difficult to overcome. You will have to build up full trust again, and that unfortunatly, is not always possible.
If it's the other way round and jealousy is causing mistrust then you need to talk and talk.
Hope that makes sense.
Jas
XXX
You say there is mistrust, if this is a causing factor of your jealousy then it will be very difficult to overcome. You will have to build up full trust again, and that unfortunatly, is not always possible.
If it's the other way round and jealousy is causing mistrust then you need to talk and talk.
Hope that makes sense.
Jas
XXX
Its a hard one my friend I know.
Sit down and talk through ALL the issues that are causing the jealousy and then try to take your relationship from there.
If that doesn't work and jealousy is still a major issue then we have one serious problem.
Can you continue to live as a couple if there is no trust.
Does swinging aggravate the problem, if so then you have to think about your lifestyle and whether you stop having fun or the worse case scenario is a parting of the ways.
Jealousy can be unbearable to live with. If its in someones genes then it eats away like some virus and no matter what you say or do there is no cure.
Best of luck and I hope you do resolve this
Sit down and talk through ALL the issues that are causing the jealousy and then try to take your relationship from there.
If that doesn't work and jealousy is still a major issue then we have one serious problem.
Can you continue to live as a couple if there is no trust.
Does swinging aggravate the problem, if so then you have to think about your lifestyle and whether you stop having fun or the worse case scenario is a parting of the ways.
Jealousy can be unbearable to live with. If its in someones genes then it eats away like some virus and no matter what you say or do there is no cure.
Best of luck and I hope you do resolve this
Jealousy is something you lose, eventually, when enough people leave you, because of your insecurities.
Ultimately, the other person feels mistrusted. I have heard the line "Of course I trust you it's everyone else!", too many times.
The jealous partner accuses, sulks, retaliates... all over something that didn't happen. The 'accused' tires of it, eventually, and moves on.
What everyone else says... TALK to each other!
Ultimately, the other person feels mistrusted. I have heard the line "Of course I trust you it's everyone else!", too many times.
The jealous partner accuses, sulks, retaliates... all over something that didn't happen. The 'accused' tires of it, eventually, and moves on.
What everyone else says... TALK to each other!
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Hiya all!
I was just thinking about recent events between myself and mr naughty and I was wondering...
Does anyone think a relationship can survive when there is a lot of jealoisy and mis trust in it?
Also does anyone know if there is a way to help get over being so jealous?
Very good questions.
Well me and Steve had a situation where there was a lot of jealousy and mistrust which was there deservedly so.
We have come out the other side stronger and more in love than we'd been before and were certainly happy
So yes you can come out the otherside,if its worth working for then work at it.
Myself and Mr Cocoa used to have trouble with this one (still do sometimes, I suppose!) so I'm adding my two cents' worth...
I actually think that a relationship cansurvive jealousy, as long as you can try to work out why you're feeling what you're feeling, whether you're basing it on fact (in which case you need to do some serious talking) and make sure you share it with each other, even when it's hard to talk about.
I've never been the jealous type, but I think it's just that I've never loved anyone enough before! This time round it's different... I adore him, and I hate the thought that he might decide to move on
Stupidly, the thing I had the most trouble with was his ex - every time I found an old letter from her in the back of a drawer somewhere, or a photo in an old album, I felt sick about the idea that she'd had everything from him that I have now. Eventually I talked to him about it, and it helped, LOTS, and I felt a lot better having admitted how I felt and being told that I had nothing to worry about!
It's hard to say anything when you realise you're being silly... and to reassure someone when you know that they're being silly! But like everyone else has said, I do believe that the only thing to do is to talk about it - if you have nothing to base your jealousy on, then he'll be able to reassure you. I think that's the worst thing - jealousy is such an irrational emotion, you don't need anything to base it on, and then you feel like a bad person for mistrusting someone for no reason!
Ho hum. People in love are irrational beings
Good luck tonight Lil_Miz, I hope you guys work it out.
I actually think that a relationship cansurvive jealousy, as long as you can try to work out why you're feeling what you're feeling, whether you're basing it on fact (in which case you need to do some serious talking) and make sure you share it with each other, even when it's hard to talk about.
I've never been the jealous type, but I think it's just that I've never loved anyone enough before! This time round it's different... I adore him, and I hate the thought that he might decide to move on
Stupidly, the thing I had the most trouble with was his ex - every time I found an old letter from her in the back of a drawer somewhere, or a photo in an old album, I felt sick about the idea that she'd had everything from him that I have now. Eventually I talked to him about it, and it helped, LOTS, and I felt a lot better having admitted how I felt and being told that I had nothing to worry about!It's hard to say anything when you realise you're being silly... and to reassure someone when you know that they're being silly! But like everyone else has said, I do believe that the only thing to do is to talk about it - if you have nothing to base your jealousy on, then he'll be able to reassure you. I think that's the worst thing - jealousy is such an irrational emotion, you don't need anything to base it on, and then you feel like a bad person for mistrusting someone for no reason!
Ho hum. People in love are irrational beings
Good luck tonight Lil_Miz, I hope you guys work it out. 
Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
err....is the jealousy from your side or his ?
The jealousy is coming from me manofmuchfun, not that i want it to be like!
I've tried talking, over and over. My jaws hurting with talking but it just seems to go round and round and round in my head bugging me.
Everything he says to me I keep thinking over then I think to myself "oh hes lying".
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut or something
Been there. Done that.
Quote by Vix
....................The jealous partner accuses, sulks, retaliates... all over something that didn't happen.................
Been there and done that as well.
ops: When I first started seeing Countess (due to our history, we moved in together almost straight away) I had a real problem with jealousy. Used to get really wound up and insecure over her going out and who she would be seeing. It got to the point where she didn't want to go out/tell me she wanted to go out because she knew I'd be a complete shit for days before and after.
I remember (which is very unusual for me) when she went out one night and I was at home as usual, drinking (which didn't help) and getting more and more wound up, thinking to myself what was I doing exactly? What was this really doing?
The only thing it was really doing was driving a huge wedge between myself and the fuck was I to make her feel so bad about wanting to go out with her friends occasionally (and I do mean occasionally).
I realised unless I sorted myself out and addressed my problem, then no amount of talking or chasing the subject round would help me out. I made a conscious effort to get over my own selfishness and learned to trust whole-heartedly the woman I love before my pettyness caused me to end up alone (still slightly selfish though).
The point...... well until you have your own moment and come to the same conclusion, then it'll always get in the way. You can talk about it and agree between you to do or not do things, but until you have that moment, it's always there.
Don't get me wrong. I still get a pang every now and again, but I'm now a bigger, stronger, more trusting person and I've learned how to make it vanish. I honestly don't know if it comes with maturity, my dad's the same, but he's never matured out of it. Still gets the same way to this day, so it's not an age thing, just something you either click to or you don't.
TBH we are both better for it. I can relax now while she's out and she knows that I won't be a complete bastard when she gets home.
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Thanks, i might be on here tomorrow as a single bi female
*drives up to lil_Miz's house, sets up camp chair, climbes into sleeping bag with a thermos of hot chocolate, just to be first in the que*
:oops: sorry for the essay :oops: :oops:
Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
lol, no need to apoligse.
Thanks for the advice. And i have a wee gas thingy to keeo you hot while sittin goutside if you like
Ta.
It's bloody freezing down here, god only knows how clod it is up there.
:lol: :lol: Sex God
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Well I have my heating up full and im wearing a jumper and im freezing my nipples off here,lol. Its blooming baltic
THEY COME OFF.......... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Can you slip them in a jiffy bag and post 'em to me as I need something to fiddle with..... works a bit boring at the mo.
:lol: :lol: :lol: 
