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Joke of the day
man goes to the doctors with a really sore throat.
the doctor takes out a lollie stick and places it on his tongue, say argh
ughhh says the man. oh yes says the doc you have a really bad larengitus take these tablets twice a day for a week and you you will have to eat through your bottom.
through my bottom
will be abit difficult eating toast wont it says the man.
yes says the doc but its what you have to do. come back in a week to see if its cleared up.
so one week later the man walks into the docs office mincing like a right queen.
why are you walking like that? says the doc.
oh! says the man .......................im chewing toffee
x rache x
the doctor takes out a lollie stick and places it on his tongue, say argh
ughhh says the man. oh yes says the doc you have a really bad larengitus take these tablets twice a day for a week and you you will have to eat through your bottom.
through my bottom
will be abit difficult eating toast wont it says the man.yes says the doc but its what you have to do. come back in a week to see if its cleared up.
so one week later the man walks into the docs office mincing like a right queen.
why are you walking like that? says the doc.
oh! says the man .......................im chewing toffee
x rache x
What's the difference between Batman and a scouser?
Batman sometimes goes out without robin'
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Cos he kneaded a poo!
Top joke in Scotland: I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Top joke in England: Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."
Top joke in USA: A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
K I N K Y L I Z A R D
Batman sometimes goes out without robin'
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Cos he kneaded a poo!
Top joke in Scotland: I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Top joke in England: Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."
Top joke in USA: A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
K I N K Y L I Z A R D
Paddy is driving down the middle of the road at 90 miles an hour and goes past a police car. Tearing after him they catch up and pull him over...
Police "Paddy you cant drive like that..."
Paddy "Yes I can officer, see it says right here in me license... tear along dotted lines..."
...................................................................................................................................................
Police "Paddy you cant drive like that..."
Paddy "Yes I can officer, see it says right here in me license... tear along dotted lines..."
...................................................................................................................................................
Now that Wales has re-established its dominance of the Northern Hemisphere rugby world (with the rest of the planet to follow in 2007) and Catherine Zeta-Jones has become an "A-List" Hollywood actress (HA!), the Welsh film industry is to receive additional funding to step up production. They are going to remake many well-known films, but this time with a Welsh flavour.
The following are just some of the titles planned for release this year:
* 9 1/2 Leeks
* Treforest Gump
* Cwmmando
* The Lost Boyos
* An American Werewolf in Powys
* Huw Dares Gwyneth
* Dai Hard
* The Wizard of Os - westry
* Cool Hand Look-you
* Sheepless in Seattle
* The Eagle has Llandudno
* The Magnificent Severn
* Haverfordwest Was Won
* Austin Powys
* The Magic Rhonddabout
* Independence Dai
* The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwantysiliogogogoch that Time
Forgot
* Seven Brides from Seven Sisters
* Welsh Connection
* Welsh Connection II
* The Bridge on the River Wye
* Lawrence of Llandybie
* A Beautiful Mind-you
* The Welsh Patient
* The King and Dai
* The Sheepsh*g Redemption
* Breakfast at Taffanys
* Look Back in Bangor
* Evans Can Wait
* A Fishguard Called Rhondda
* Where Eagles Aberdare
* Dial M For Merthyr
The following are just some of the titles planned for release this year:
* 9 1/2 Leeks
* Treforest Gump
* Cwmmando
* The Lost Boyos
* An American Werewolf in Powys
* Huw Dares Gwyneth
* Dai Hard
* The Wizard of Os - westry
* Cool Hand Look-you
* Sheepless in Seattle
* The Eagle has Llandudno
* The Magnificent Severn
* Haverfordwest Was Won
* Austin Powys
* The Magic Rhonddabout
* Independence Dai
* The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwantysiliogogogoch that Time
Forgot
* Seven Brides from Seven Sisters
* Welsh Connection
* Welsh Connection II
* The Bridge on the River Wye
* Lawrence of Llandybie
* A Beautiful Mind-you
* The Welsh Patient
* The King and Dai
* The Sheepsh*g Redemption
* Breakfast at Taffanys
* Look Back in Bangor
* Evans Can Wait
* A Fishguard Called Rhondda
* Where Eagles Aberdare
* Dial M For Merthyr
A women goes to the doc and says
Doctor doctor ........ my husband cannot get a hard on
Doc says...... you worries are over!
Take this powder here will do the trick!
So went home and in the morning she made breakfast and put the powder in to the salt seller
Called her husband down .......... and dashed up stairs.... stripped off and lay there naked on the bed waiting! :twisted:
Until she heard her husband in fits of laughing!
She ran down stairs and say s what’s up?
He said I put some salt on me sausage and it’s just shot up the cat’s backside! :P
Doctor doctor ........ my husband cannot get a hard on
Doc says...... you worries are over!
Take this powder here will do the trick!
So went home and in the morning she made breakfast and put the powder in to the salt seller
Called her husband down .......... and dashed up stairs.... stripped off and lay there naked on the bed waiting! :twisted:
Until she heard her husband in fits of laughing!
She ran down stairs and say s what’s up?
He said I put some salt on me sausage and it’s just shot up the cat’s backside! :P
