I was on a bus yesterday and got chatting to a woman who sat next to me, she must have been in her sixties, and the conversation got round to children. She asked if I had any and I said 'No', she replied, 'oh well dear, you still have time'. She looked a bit taken aback when I said I didn't want any.
I know quite a lot of you have kids and I was wondering, was it an active decision on your part to have them? When you were young. did you automatically know that you were one day going to have some?
I've never wanted any and I wonder if that's odd for a woman, seeing as thats the ultimate 'survival of the species' role for the female of any animal.
Just musing, should be working but any excuse.
H.x
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Kids
I (Flidais) have three kids (22, 20 and 14) BUT have to say did not plan any of them. The first two I was in my early 20's and it was failed contraception (the pill isn't quite so perfect as they would have you believe :shock: ) The last one was also, I'm ashamed to say, a result of 'getting carrried away'. I love them all to bits and wouldn't be without them but, I can honestly say, I would never have planned to have had kids so I know exactly where you are coming from.
PS No more 'failed contraception' for me, well sorted now
PS No more 'failed contraception' for me, well sorted now
Quote by H-x
was it an active decision on your part to have them? When you were young. did you automatically know that you were one day going to have some?
Yes it was an active decision but I always knew I wanted to have kids.
I had our eldest at 23 which might seem a little young to some but my body was fecked before that so I knew I had to think about them earlier rather than later.
Loads of money and a couple of IVF treatments and at 28 I had twins.
I consider myself lucky because science was able to give me what I wanted, and Ian but he can speak for himself if he wants
Those that decide not to have children make their decisions that suit themselves :thumbup:
i had my kids when i was young and now im 36 and can go out without the need to worry about babysitters but deb had her kid late so she is now 38 and has a few years before she can go out without babysitters but then she had a social life before the child came so we have between us done both but both have advantages and disadvantages.. also debs was planned and mine were not but they are the world to us both..
I swore at 21 I'd never have any after a bad experience.
However, I fell pregant with the 9 yr old accidently (and God only knows how) and the youngest was a planned decision..... planned in the way that I was broody and Morbius agreed to shut me up thinking the idea would wear off and two weeks later I was pregnant. Would have loved more since but my health won't stand up to it
Its swings and roundabouts how I feel, at times I wish I had stuck by my guns been more careful and never got pregnant, but the joy of loving them and the love they give outweighs all the struggles for sitters, illness and sleepless nights (youngest never slept more than 3 hours a time until he was 3 :shock: )
Cx
However, I fell pregant with the 9 yr old accidently (and God only knows how) and the youngest was a planned decision..... planned in the way that I was broody and Morbius agreed to shut me up thinking the idea would wear off and two weeks later I was pregnant. Would have loved more since but my health won't stand up to it
Its swings and roundabouts how I feel, at times I wish I had stuck by my guns been more careful and never got pregnant, but the joy of loving them and the love they give outweighs all the struggles for sitters, illness and sleepless nights (youngest never slept more than 3 hours a time until he was 3 :shock: )
Cx
Sex God
Just a piece of advice but anyone not wanting kids or not going to have them until later in life go and get all the bits and bobs checked out. Peoples minds change or sometimes thigs are not as simple as they may seem. I carry one of the Cystic fibrosis genes which caused me to be infertile. We would have never have picked up on this had it not been Mrs Tweekys insistance that I get checked out. We had ICSI treatment when Mrs Tweeky was 23, very young. Due to this the Dr's said the chances of succes were possibly 50% , hard to tell as not many peole have ICSI at 23. Chances in woman around 30 are only 27%. Consider also that one in twenty people carry a gene for Cystic fibrosis and that 98% of the men will be infertile. A lot of infertile people around who dont know about it with many differing reasons. Also lots of people on the infertility forums we visit who wernt ever having kids and have now forked out £6000-£30000 on treatment.
Mr Tweeky
Mr Tweeky
Quote by tweeky
Just a piece of advice but anyone not wanting kids or not going to have them until later in life go and get all the bits and bobs checked out. Peoples minds change or sometimes thigs are not as simple as they may seem. I carry one of the Cystic fibrosis genes which caused me to be infertile. We would have never have picked up on this had it not been Mrs Tweekys insistance that I get checked out. We had ICSI treatment when Mrs Tweeky was 23, very young. Due to this the Dr's said the chances of succes were possibly 50% , hard to tell as not many peole have ICSI at 23. Chances in woman around 30 are only 27%. Consider also that one in twenty people carry a gene for Cystic fibrosis and that 98% of the men will be infertile. A lot of infertile people around who dont know about it with many differing reasons. Also lots of people on the infertility forums we visit who wernt ever having kids and have now forked out £6000-£30000 on treatment.
Mr Tweeky
:worship: :worship: an amazing post 
Sex God
of ours, only one of them is "mine".
dont know if we will have any more in the future,
i do ger really broody at times, but am also quite selfish and do not know if i want to start all over again.
dont know if we will have any more in the future,
i do ger really broody at times, but am also quite selfish and do not know if i want to start all over again.
My children were unplanned but very loved. Only now can I do what I want when I want..... mine are old enough to look after themselves. Im glad I had mine when I was in my twenties.
At one time in my life I couldnt understand why women wouldnt want to have children...... our bodies are made for that purpose (so *they* say..whoever *they *are). I was in my thirties before I understood, accepted and admired a woman who didnt want children and stuck by that. Women (and men) dont have to conform to what society expects of women anymore (thank goodness) but still we have pressures put upon us at times because motherhood is a role that *some* expect us to take part in, especially the older generation.
It takes a strong woman, who is clear about what she wants or doesnt want from life..........
xanaisx
At one time in my life I couldnt understand why women wouldnt want to have children...... our bodies are made for that purpose (so *they* say..whoever *they *are). I was in my thirties before I understood, accepted and admired a woman who didnt want children and stuck by that. Women (and men) dont have to conform to what society expects of women anymore (thank goodness) but still we have pressures put upon us at times because motherhood is a role that *some* expect us to take part in, especially the older generation.
It takes a strong woman, who is clear about what she wants or doesnt want from life..........
xanaisx
Quote by H-x
I was on a bus yesterday and got chatting to a woman who sat next to me, she must have been in her sixties, and the conversation got round to children. She asked if I had any and I said 'No', she replied, 'oh well dear, you still have time'. She looked a bit taken aback when I said I didn't want any.
I know quite a lot of you have kids and I was wondering, was it an active decision on your part to have them? When you were young. did you automatically know that you were one day going to have some?
I've never wanted any and I wonder if that's odd for a woman, seeing as thats the ultimate 'survival of the species' role for the female of any animal.
Just musing, should be working but any excuse.
H.x
I have 2 kids, 8+6 and they are brilliant
, although you do get stressed at times 
, h-x it's upto you if you want kids, you really don't know what you are missing (shouting,screaming,crying,stamping feet,accidents,cobbing,giggling,laughing etc...). Have you been in love before? 
I think it's very much a personal choice. I have lots of female friends who have recoiled at the thought of having kids of their own, but that's not not say they don't love kids at all. They are all very loving and attentive aunties/godmothers/friends etc but are all comfortable with their own lives as they are. I wouldn't condemn anyone for not wanting their own any more than I would someone who has a houseful! That's what they want and that's what makes them happy. Good on you H, for knowing what you want and not bowing to peer pressure to produce your own offspring.
By the way, I have 2 sons of my own and that's enough for me. I do love kids, just couldn't eat a whole one
:giggle:
By the way, I have 2 sons of my own and that's enough for me. I do love kids, just couldn't eat a whole one
:giggle: 
Sex God
Quote by flidais-media
Just a guess, but being in love with someone blinds you to the inevitable bad bits. He snores, he leaves the toilet seat up, and he never remembers your birthday, but you still want to stay with him forever. Kids bring endless troubles and sleepless nights, but most parents are eager to do it again. I can see some similarity there.
I don't have children, and I don't want any. A lot of people find this bewildering, and aren't shy about telling me. I sometimes feel that the world sees me as a deviant, that there's something wrong with me for making such an incomprehensible choice. I never know how to respond.
Quote by DJohn
Just a guess, but being in love with someone blinds you to the inevitable bad bits. He snores, he leaves the toilet seat up, and he never remembers your birthday, but you still want to stay with him forever. Kids bring endless troubles and sleepless nights, but most parents are eager to do it again. I can see some similarity there.
.
Yes, know what you mean but (and maybe I got this wrong here) I got the impression that m1970 was implying that by being in love you may have more of a desire to have kids and, maybe, he was implying that the original poster had not been? All I am saying is being in love with a person doesn't necessarily mean that you suddenly want to have kids.
Sex God
Quote by flidais-media
All I am saying is being in love with a person doesn't necessarily mean that you suddenly want to have kids.
Maybe I misread him. I tend to be overly generous with my interpretation sometimes. Perhaps I found that thought so ridiculous I never even considered it. Loving someone inevitably leads to wanting little versions of them?
No. Kids are fun, but only if you can give them back.
yes, I have been in love. I don't see how it's relavent though. The guy I was in love with was quite happy that I didn't want kids, although he said if he'd been in a different relationship he may have had some.
Everyone tells me, when I say I don't want any, that I'd feel differently if I had my own. The thing is that the idea of having any is as alien to me as say, living under water, or on the moon. I have nieces and nephews who I love to bits, but could never comprehend the idea of wanting one myself. Some people find this offencive, which I don't understand.
H.x
Everyone tells me, when I say I don't want any, that I'd feel differently if I had my own. The thing is that the idea of having any is as alien to me as say, living under water, or on the moon. I have nieces and nephews who I love to bits, but could never comprehend the idea of wanting one myself. Some people find this offencive, which I don't understand.
H.x
Quote by H-x
yes, I have been in love. I don't see how it's relavent though. The guy I was in love with was quite happy that I didn't want kids, although he said if he'd been in a different relationship he may have had some.
Everyone tells me, when I say I don't want any, that I'd feel differently if I had my own. The thing is that the idea of having any is as alien to me as say, living under water, or on the moon. I have nieces and nephews who I love to bits, but could never comprehend the idea of wanting one myself. Some people find this offencive, which I don't understand.
H.x
I am not here to offend you by any means, you have made the choice not to have kids, that is totally in your control and you are not alone, I know a few women in the same situtation. Some people don't want kids cos of genetic illnesses, some don't want kids because they have never experienced love before, and there is no point getting up the duff for the sake of things, although in this sad world people get pregnant to get an house, lazy phuckers if you ask me.
Quote by m1970
yes, I have been in love. I don't see how it's relavent though. The guy I was in love with was quite happy that I didn't want kids, although he said if he'd been in a different relationship he may have had some.
Everyone tells me, when I say I don't want any, that I'd feel differently if I had my own. The thing is that the idea of having any is as alien to me as say, living under water, or on the moon. I have nieces and nephews who I love to bits, but could never comprehend the idea of wanting one myself. Some people find this offencive, which I don't understand.
H.x
I am not here to offend you by any means, you have made the choice not to have kids, that is totally in your control and you are not alone, I know a few women in the same situtation. Some people don't want kids cos of genetic illnesses, some don't want kids because they have never experienced love before, and there is no point getting up the duff for the sake of things, although in this sad world people get pregnant to get an house, lazy phuckers if you ask me.
Sorry but do need to say something about this getting pregnant to get a house myth. Most local authorities have very little housing these days (due to the daft policy of tenants being able to buy but the local authorities not being allowed to then put the proceeds into building more houses) so there are very few house around even for large families let alone single Mum's with one child. Realisitcally if a women had a child and was genuinely homeless (that means nowhere to live at all) then the local authority would only pay for her to stay in bed and breakfast (and these places are no luxury hotels I can tell you). Eventually, after she had been there a while, and, if a place became available, she may get a small flat but the chances of her being given a 'house' are very slim.
Sorry again for the rant but it's just a line that I find very annoying because it simply, these days, does not happen.
Sex God
Kids :shock:
Never wanted any, can't see it changing, don't even like the little buggers
Never wanted any, can't see it changing, don't even like the little buggers
Sex God
They're noisy, messy & far too expensive and take a stupid amount of time to look after.
I got myself an old Jag instead
I got myself an old Jag instead
Sex God
but was the ride comfortable yet thrilling with a sleek and sexy body
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
So
It wouldn't put me off.
I'd just send them to a boarding school.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: H.x
