unfortunately Bilko that is about the level of maturity I have come to expect from the posters/wankers here, have deleted my ad due to the inordinate amount of immature tossbuckets that mistakenly think any sane minded sex vixen would consider shagging them after responses like- "wot you lik then?"
uhm, I don't think so... demi
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Let Demi's rant continue here... Carry on Jezzay's....
Quote by demi
unfortunately Bilko that is about the level of maturity I have come to expect from the posters/wankers here, have deleted my ad due to the inordinate amount of immature tossbuckets that mistakenly think any sane minded sex vixen would consider shagging them after responses like- "wot you lik then?"
uhm, I don't think so... demi
Wow!!!! Was it something I said??? Don't worry, I won't be asking for a shag!!!
like I care - they are queueing up around the block baby!Yep, I'm with you Demi....I posted my first ad last week and got about 50 replies.....out of all them there are only about 5 that are worth chatting to....most of them wrote back saying "Send your picture and I'll give you a shag"...LoL.
And BTW, I dance Salsa.....so anyone want teaching? *Grin*
And BTW, I dance Salsa.....so anyone want teaching? *Grin*
Quote by DreamerHelen
most of them wrote back saying "Send your picture and I'll give you a shag"...LoL.
You know, there's a certain very tempting logic that says so many people wouldn't be doing stuff like that if it didn't work...
I know, I know, but the alternative explanations are even _more_ ghastly.
Thing is, Demi, you need a licence for a telly but they'll let any dumb bugger shag folks...
Of course you are gonna get men who are of different intelligence as this is a universally accessible group. You don't need GCSEs to negotiate your way round here. (If you did, I know plenty of guys here who would be stuffed from the off!)
However... bearing in mind that every man is as good as the next on some higher moral and politically correct plain, the dumber ones don't half get short shrift when they do drop by... which is a pity as one or two of them might well be human Energiser bunnies. :bounce:
:bounce:
So I guess all we can do is cast our nets high and wide... but give a gentle wave goodbye and a smile to the ones we chuck back.
Best of luck
Hxx
Of course you are gonna get men who are of different intelligence as this is a universally accessible group. You don't need GCSEs to negotiate your way round here. (If you did, I know plenty of guys here who would be stuffed from the off!)
However... bearing in mind that every man is as good as the next on some higher moral and politically correct plain, the dumber ones don't half get short shrift when they do drop by... which is a pity as one or two of them might well be human Energiser bunnies. :bounce:
:bounce: So I guess all we can do is cast our nets high and wide... but give a gentle wave goodbye and a smile to the ones we chuck back.
Best of luck
Hxx
true Heather, but who has time to personally try out each applicant?
I have only been on this site for a week and am Knackered!, :shock: could have a date morning noon and night if I had the energy!
I have a permantly overloaded inbox, a hot right ear and frazzeled brain from phone sex and am well behind in my daily chores!
And Bilko, ha!,
ye of little faith, I will not even stoop to respond to that pathetic jibe, just refer you to one of my many happy correspondants...Gman would you like to extol my many virtues and vices? You may get another reward?
demi x
I have only been on this site for a week and am Knackered!, :shock: could have a date morning noon and night if I had the energy!
I have a permantly overloaded inbox, a hot right ear and frazzeled brain from phone sex and am well behind in my daily chores!
And Bilko, ha!,
ye of little faith, I will not even stoop to respond to that pathetic jibe, just refer you to one of my many happy correspondants...Gman would you like to extol my many virtues and vices? You may get another reward?demi x
Demi... all the girls go through what you're going through at some time or other.
Take a peek at Heather's tips for blokes. Sound familiar?
The knack is to create a dedicated email address... let the ad run for only a day or so, pull it, then sift through them at your leisure. Those that loose patience with you... well they can go whistle... those that allow you to take your time, well they are more likely to be the kind of guys you want to spend time with.
Once you've finished with batch A and you feel up to it, rerun the ad for another 24 hours.
I figure I can screw a new guy two nights a week from this place and still not get bored.
Gulezbabe
Take a peek at Heather's tips for blokes. Sound familiar?
The knack is to create a dedicated email address... let the ad run for only a day or so, pull it, then sift through them at your leisure. Those that loose patience with you... well they can go whistle... those that allow you to take your time, well they are more likely to be the kind of guys you want to spend time with.
Once you've finished with batch A and you feel up to it, rerun the ad for another 24 hours.
I figure I can screw a new guy two nights a week from this place and still not get bored.
Gulezbabe
Sarge.... it has to be said that on certain occasions hthe ladies on this site do not appreciate the toilet humour of the GFZ..... seems they think that there is a time and a place.... I know.... an unreasonable ideal but that is their belief all the same.
some of the ladies I have bumped into have decided to be totally honest in that which they like and that which they want.... and Demi is one of those honest wenches.... she knows what she wants and she knows how to get it and from whence she will get it.... and hey you do not see me not smiling.... Demi has said what she wants and boy does she come through when given what she wants.......she has it has to be admitted ( Demi) yet to come through as fully as promised but we shall work on that shalln't we????
Oh that so many more were as honest and upfront as demi..... and hey have you evre seen such a delightfully chewable right nipple?
So Demi where is that txt?
Gmanxxx
some of the ladies I have bumped into have decided to be totally honest in that which they like and that which they want.... and Demi is one of those honest wenches.... she knows what she wants and she knows how to get it and from whence she will get it.... and hey you do not see me not smiling.... Demi has said what she wants and boy does she come through when given what she wants.......she has it has to be admitted ( Demi) yet to come through as fully as promised but we shall work on that shalln't we????
Oh that so many more were as honest and upfront as demi..... and hey have you evre seen such a delightfully chewable right nipple?
So Demi where is that txt?
Gmanxxx
for the SargeJust wandered in after a pig of a day: two hour road block, flat tyre, headache, HUNGRY!!, no wine left :cry: long meetings-the usual-and thought I'd see what the playmates in the Forum were up to. What do I find? Everyone is at war!! Jags is roaming up and down the Tweed, painted blue, showing her arse at Will and saying 'He can tack her knives but canny tacks are redone'? What is that all about? Will is done up in best duelling doublet, watching High Noon on video and complaining he can't go to the pub (apparently he's Bard). Someone has sprayed 'joke store ' on the door of the loo and has tacked a sign on saying 'Every third comedian is shot: the second has just left'. I passed Sarge at the filling station, in full combat gear, filling up his little tank. Even Carpathian is getting serious and wants to become a Judge (fancies being referred to as 'Mallard') Will someone tell me what is going on? Have I missed something? Have the Aliens been again? What happened to our friendly little Forum? Is this another Lady WA plot?
Please, can someone enlighten me? :roll:
What is that all about? Will is done up in best duelling doublet, watching High Noon on video and complaining he can't go to the pub (apparently he's Bard). Someone has sprayed 'joke store ' on the door of the loo and has tacked a sign on saying 'Every third comedian is shot: the second has just left'. I passed Sarge at the filling station, in full combat gear, filling up his little tank. Even Carpathian is getting serious and wants to become a Judge (fancies being referred to as 'Mallard') Will someone tell me what is going on? Have I missed something? Have the Aliens been again? What happened to our friendly little Forum? Is this another Lady WA plot?Please, can someone enlighten me? :roll:
oh Gman you gallant knight, I will give you your just reward just as soon as my equipment is fully rested and ready for battle again, I have been devoting myself to pleasure seriously, since joining this band of bawdy upstarts and have just got to catch up on the rest of my life for a bit...
so many men... so little time
demi x
ps.am I the only one who finds Artificers avatar erotic???
so many men... so little time
demi x
ps.am I the only one who finds Artificers avatar erotic???
Demi
I was absolutely astounded by your response to my light hearted gesture in this thread last night.
You seem to be confusing the Café with the Ads and the Lets Meet Up Sections of the Forum. In here no-one is interested in your ad. I have no idea which of the people in the Café have an ad and have no wish to know. The Café is a place where people come to have a laugh. It is, and always will be, full of light-hearted comments made by people that have embraced the concept of the on-line friendship they found here.
I am sure that the people in here do not take kindly to being described as wankers and immature tossbuckets, just because you had some iffy replies to your ad. I would suggest that you take that up with them and not tar everyone with the same brush.
Mind you, generalisations seem to be your speciality after you slagged off the Scousers, Brummies and any one that sounds like an extra from Cornation Street or Emmerdale.
I feel you would benefit from reading Wilma’s thread on what the Café means to the people on here: http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/6403.html
Incidentally I would hardly call it a master-stroke using Gman as a reference. Gman would say anything you wanted him to say after showing him your right tit!!! (and that’s not the sentence I would have anticipated using which contained the words right tit and Gman!!!)
Gman, when were you promoted to Head Lecturer on Toilet Humour and its appropriate use within the Café???? I must have missed that thread!!!
I was absolutely astounded by your response to my light hearted gesture in this thread last night.
You seem to be confusing the Café with the Ads and the Lets Meet Up Sections of the Forum. In here no-one is interested in your ad. I have no idea which of the people in the Café have an ad and have no wish to know. The Café is a place where people come to have a laugh. It is, and always will be, full of light-hearted comments made by people that have embraced the concept of the on-line friendship they found here.
I am sure that the people in here do not take kindly to being described as wankers and immature tossbuckets, just because you had some iffy replies to your ad. I would suggest that you take that up with them and not tar everyone with the same brush.
Mind you, generalisations seem to be your speciality after you slagged off the Scousers, Brummies and any one that sounds like an extra from Cornation Street or Emmerdale.
I feel you would benefit from reading Wilma’s thread on what the Café means to the people on here: http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/6403.html
Incidentally I would hardly call it a master-stroke using Gman as a reference. Gman would say anything you wanted him to say after showing him your right tit!!! (and that’s not the sentence I would have anticipated using which contained the words right tit and Gman!!!)
Quote by gmanxxx
Sarge.... it has to be said that on certain occasions hthe ladies on this site do not appreciate the toilet humour of the GFZ..... etc. etc.
Gman, when were you promoted to Head Lecturer on Toilet Humour and its appropriate use within the Café???? I must have missed that thread!!!
Sex God
Sorry, I am late, but I have been busy in another thread! 
Mops brow, rests his rapier in the umbrella stand and tries to get the circulation going in his sword arm again
I am now going to wade in here as well. :shock: I honestly think that Sarge is one of the least offensive guys in the entire Forum. He cracks me up on a regular basis. If you think HE is offensive, you should see some of the posts in 'Let's Meet Up' and 'Dogging'. *Shudders*
So I think that there has been a misunderstanding. The nice thing about the Cafe is the humour and the feeling of being among friends. Believe me, there are plenty of sexy meetings taking place behind the scenes on here - but it isn't always necessary for them to be the main topic of conversation.
I think that Sarge was having a little fun at the expense of Demi's signature without being coarse, vulgar or even unkind. Having said that, Demi is obviously finding lots of what she is looking for. I think that is great too. There is more than enough room for everyone here - all we need is tolerance and understanding.
Right, that's my peaceful "kiss and make up" bit done. Time to go and create havoc with the Jocks again!
Picks up rapier on the way out and closes the door behind him.
Mops brow, rests his rapier in the umbrella stand and tries to get the circulation going in his sword arm again
I am now going to wade in here as well. :shock: I honestly think that Sarge is one of the least offensive guys in the entire Forum. He cracks me up on a regular basis. If you think HE is offensive, you should see some of the posts in 'Let's Meet Up' and 'Dogging'. *Shudders*
So I think that there has been a misunderstanding. The nice thing about the Cafe is the humour and the feeling of being among friends. Believe me, there are plenty of sexy meetings taking place behind the scenes on here - but it isn't always necessary for them to be the main topic of conversation.
I think that Sarge was having a little fun at the expense of Demi's signature without being coarse, vulgar or even unkind. Having said that, Demi is obviously finding lots of what she is looking for. I think that is great too. There is more than enough room for everyone here - all we need is tolerance and understanding.
Right, that's my peaceful "kiss and make up" bit done. Time to go and create havoc with the Jocks again!
Picks up rapier on the way out and closes the door behind him.
ooooh, get her!
Bilko you poor misguided fool I have never found your responses offensive, childish yes, immature probably, churlish definately, but I am seriously oblivous to your opinion, so I do wonder why you feel you need to vent your spleen on little moi?
The day I begin to be offended or take seriously the content of these posts, then perhaps I'll ask your advice sweetie
demi x
Bilko you poor misguided fool I have never found your responses offensive, childish yes, immature probably, churlish definately, but I am seriously oblivous to your opinion, so I do wonder why you feel you need to vent your spleen on little moi?
The day I begin to be offended or take seriously the content of these posts, then perhaps I'll ask your advice sweetie
demi x
Sex God
Oh well! I tried!! 
Sex God
:shock: Sophisticated? :shock:
I must have missed that bit!
Can't we all be friends? Hmmm. I guess not.
Oh well. Time to move on!
I must have missed that bit!
Can't we all be friends? Hmmm. I guess not.
Oh well. Time to move on!
Quote by jezzay
So confused. I started this thread but now have completely lost the plot. Have I been hijacked? OK hijilled. (Ouch - time for bed.)
Jezzay - your original postings was one of the most intelligent and accurate for a long while - congratulations and thanks on behalf of the folk who help Mark run this site. We aim to please, but not everyone all of the time. Your input is more than welcome!
As for others - no-one forced you to join, took your money (see Jezzay) or forces you to stay. Of course, as Heather wrote, there are a measure of idiots, tossers, nutters, under-age boys pretending to be adults, time-wasters, pic collectors, fetishers (is that a word???) etc etc etc. There are also a large number of those who are intelligent, witty, erudite, interesting, caring, horny, serious, off-the-wall..these are the ones who take time to establish a form of relationship which enhances the encounters whether sexual or social. Don't knock it. And don't be offensive/rude to those who have been here longer and take part in our little world.
One woman's puerile bloke is another woman's sexy as fuck bloke - need I say more!
Although I don't meet many men, well only one really but he's fab, the friendships offered are superb. Last night two of us shared about 6/8 text messages before I realised that he thought he was texting his wife, who is away on holiday - it was hysterical! I went to sleep giggling my head off and woke up this morning still giggling about it - his wife will think it's hysterical too, and wait til I tell the rest of the crowd what Kate did!!!
Join in - let others search for what they seek - I've found my pot of gold and it ain't Pandora's Box. More like Jag's Lunch Box!
Sarge - pick yourself up, stand as tall as your 3'8" allows and march off into the hearts and minds of Wilma, Heather, Bluexxx, BlueEyes, Kit, Me, etc etc etc and just ignore/forget the tossers. (Never thought I'd say that women can be tossers too!!) Sad day m'thinks.
Sex God
Jags - I know we are 'fighting' in another thread, but for what you have written above.....
assionkiss: :passionkiss:
As always, you have put it better than any of us could have done!
The diversity here is part of what makes this site so great. It will continue only if people allow it to.
assionkiss: :passionkiss: As always, you have put it better than any of us could have done!
The diversity here is part of what makes this site so great. It will continue only if people allow it to.
Quote by willxx69
Jags - I know we are 'fighting' in another thread..
No, you are tilting at windmills again! Been reading Don Quixote lately?
You manufactured a 'fight' in a paper bag (the one usually over your head??) and now can't get out of it without grovelling, begging and buying a large bottle of robust red wine.
:lol: assionkiss: :passionkiss: Sex God
Quote by Jags
Jags - I know we are 'fighting' in another thread..
No, you are tilting at windmills again! Been reading Don Quixote lately?
You manufactured a 'fight' in a paper bag (the one usually over your head??) and now can't get out of it without grovelling, begging and buying a large bottle of robust red wine.
:lol: assionkiss: :passionkiss:See? She loves me really. Bless her (pats her head in a patronising fashion) :therethere: 