on a survey published yesterday,,you lucky women are getting the best sex in europe
the average portion now last an earth shaking seven and a half minutes
( dont know if this includes sock removal time )
the poor old turks last barely half this time
and those pesky french are two minutes behind us
SO lads keep your end up Britain expects
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LUCKY WOMEN
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Orgasminator
Well that must mean our sexual endevours last 30 seconds then as the average time to smoke a cigarette is 7 minutes 
:lol: :lol:
The WHOOSH Manâ„¢
:lol: :lol: The WHOOSH Manâ„¢
Quote by SXBOY
on a survey published yesterday,,you lucky women are getting the best sex in europe
the average portion now last an earth shaking seven and a half minutes
( dont know if this includes sock removal time )
the poor old turks last barely half this time
and those pesky french are two minutes behind us
SO lads keep your end up Britain expects
From waking up with the ex attached to left nipple to moment of orgasm , 8 minutes
:huh: :dry:
What was that you said there?....71/2 minutes? :eeek:
:heartbrokensobs:
Sorry hun, all is forgiven :cry:
Yeah right
Sex God
Who needs seven and a half mins, jeeeez...... talk about wasting your life 
....... how long does an orgasm last.... only seconds.... therefore all the rest can be safely dispensed with.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
....... how long does an orgasm last.... only seconds.... therefore all the rest can be safely dispensed with. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote by bluexxx
Who needs seven and a half mins, jeeeez...... talk about wasting your life
you're instantly orgasmic as well !! every man's dream.... :lol:
Sex God
Quote by longhandle8
Who needs seven and a half mins, jeeeez...... talk about wasting your life
you're instantly orgasmic as well !! every man's dream.... :lol:
Did I say that? No. :roll:
I just said why waste your life.... seven minutes each shag soon stacks up to a wasted life. That's all.
hehehehehehehehehehehehehe
:lol:
This is obviously done on an average basis
assuming therefore that this is a recent survey and that I have been abstemious due to certain factors beyond my control (eg Im a total minger) I can feel proud that I have personally helped this fine British Achievment :shock:
However if any ladies would like to reduce this score I am available for the best fifteen seconds of well my day anyway
assuming therefore that this is a recent survey and that I have been abstemious due to certain factors beyond my control (eg Im a total minger) I can feel proud that I have personally helped this fine British Achievment :shock:
However if any ladies would like to reduce this score I am available for the best fifteen seconds of well my day anyway
Sex God
Quote by warwick
This is obviously done on an average basis
assuming therefore that this is a recent survey and that I have been abstemious due to certain factors beyond my control (eg Im a total minger) I can feel proud that I have personally helped this fine British Achievment :shock:
However if any ladies would like to reduce this score I am available for the best fifteen seconds of well my day anyway
Warwick I am more than happy to either sell you, or lease you, my seven and a half minutes on a monthly basis, bit like a mobile phone contract. If we say that I do it twice a week thats 15 minutes a week, times four weeks, which gives you an hour a month. Now you can spread your usage out over the month or splurge it on one big session, what you can't do is have a celibate month and carry the credit over otherwise some poor person is gonna get bored before your finished.
If your interested we can work out a tariff.
P.S. if you wanna talk dirty whilst shagging with my minutes, then we will have to treat that in a similar way to a text message, so my advice would be to shag with your mouth shut.
Sex God
Quote by warwick
Given my staying power and bedroom prowess dave thats...............
........................240 shags a month :shock: ....................divided by an average 30 day month........................thats ..erm....bear with me...umm......................quite a lot per day :shock:
Hell in that case forget what I said about not talking dirty you will have enough credit to be as foul mouthed as you want, tell you what seeing as you are gonna be my first customer for leasing my shagging minutes I'm willing to give you some 'talk dirty' words for free.....
Sex God
Quote by warwick
No SXBOY 15 seconds should just about cover it although it doesnt include time taken removing cardie and slippers
davej do I get a joining gift like a portable alarm radio or a whistling key ring or anything only the offers looking tempting
Obviousely I havn't worked everything out yet as this idea only come around this morning cos of this thread, but if you go for the monthly plan, then I see no reason why I can't throw in a carriage clock as an introductory offer.
The way I see it is this.
I will work out a tariff for you to rent my shagging minutes. You will then get a starter pack which will include a silicone Penis sleeve, imbedded with your 'shag sim' plus your carriage clock. Each time you have sex you slide the sleeve on which then starts to use up your minutes when it reaches a certain temperature and humidity, this means that any foreplay under the plan is not charged for and ensures your minutes are only based on penatrative sex.
The pupose of including a temperature reader, is to enable me to charge you an additional charge, should you insert yourself into any thing other than a human, the body temperature of other species are different and to be fair they are my minutes until you've settled your account and I would sooner you didn't.
The package will allow you to continue with penatrative play beyond your allowance for which you will be charged a 'premium shag time'
Each month you download the sleeve onto your P.C. and send it to me. I then charge you the appropriate rate.
I'm thinking that I might set this up as a ltd company if it takes off and reckon that 'Bones4U' would work as a name.
Souds better and better , but will there be a helpline : I mean what happens if I forget what to do for instance or experience technical problems such as brewers droop or stage fright :?:
I mean if the shaggee doesnt get their full 15 seconds of pleasure there could be claims
and will the boner chip need separate insurance incase of loss or damage :shock:
would it be covered on home insurane and would there be a rebate in the case of underusing the shag minutes :shock: :shock:
: I mean what happens if I forget what to do for instance or experience technical problems such as brewers droop or stage fright :?: I mean if the shaggee doesnt get their full 15 seconds of pleasure there could be claims
and will the boner chip need separate insurance incase of loss or damage :shock:
would it be covered on home insurane and would there be a rebate in the case of underusing the shag minutes :shock: :shock:
Sex God
Quote by warwick
Souds better and better , but will there be a helpline
I mean if the shaggee doesnt get their full 15 seconds of pleasure there could be claims
and will the boner chip need separate insurance incase of loss or damage :shock:
would it be covered on home insurane and would there be a rebate in the case of underusing the shag minutes :shock: :shock:
FFS! do you want blood! No there aint no help line you just get a copy of Razzle chucked in with the carriage clock.
Quote by SXBOY
the average portion now last an earth shaking seven and a half minutes
Does that include foreplay, time taken getting bastard socks off which have snagged, getting shirt off before opening cuffs, getting condom out of drawer, putting it on wrong way, getting another one and trying to rip it open with spermicide lubricated hands, placating partner as to why it's taking so long, deciding on a position, maneuvouring into position then finally trying to get the damn thing in?
Or not?
dewi
i understand where your coming from here
getting undressed probably does not come into it
the condoms are always pesky to get on the right way first time
dont know if pre insertion was in the 7 and a half minutes
but allowing for the post coital smoke its still not to shaby
imagine being a poor old turkish lady !!!
i understand where your coming from here
getting undressed probably does not come into it
the condoms are always pesky to get on the right way first time
dont know if pre insertion was in the 7 and a half minutes
but allowing for the post coital smoke its still not to shaby
imagine being a poor old turkish lady !!!
