Hi guys,
I saw your discussion re: Real magazine feature. I just wanted to make my own offer - I am a British journalist at South West News Service, the largest independent press agency in the UK. We write features for all the women's magazines as well as the national newspapers. I would like to offer any girls and their boyfriends (with the exception of those that already appeared in Real magazine) the chance to appear in one of the other women magazines e.g. Closer, Cosmo, or any of the women weeklies.
I'd like to offer you the chance to tell your side of the story and introduce our readers to the wonderful world of swinging and particularly 'dogging'!
We would pay generously for your time.
If you are interested please contact me either via email: polly_ or on .
Thanks
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Magazine Feature
Sex God
Quote by KitKat
Someone do a parrot joke please! lhk Kat
Ok Kat just for you,
An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him.
The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes.
The old man just stared at him.
The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"
The old man answered, "Well yes, actually I have. I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"
Sex God
Quote by KitKatMore please! (sorry Polly
)
I do apologise Polly, no offence is meant. :( Only banter.
An oldie here:
A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet fussed the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird.
The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably ..... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!, she cried, £150 just to tell me my bird is dead.!!"
The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been £20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan......"
I am now hoping with references to a 'dead parrot' that somebody else would like to step in and perhaps do a little Monty Python.
Ah, there's always hope.
Kat I'm sure you only have to ask TS for a little light spanking and you'll get one. :twisted:
:D xxIs this a real ad, or just another frustrated newbie dogger fed-up with waiting and now that the "couple looking for action" ad has been rumbled, tries something else....like a woman reporter looking for action ?
I dunno, some people will try anything.
"Couple looking for people to watch while we shag in the car. We'll be in the peace pagoda car park (Milton Keynes) at 2130z tonight .... you'll recognise us by the car, it's a white Vauxhall Astra Diesel with a blue light on top and Yellow/Blue stripes on the sides and back....don't be shy and please let us see your 'action' before we start"
I dunno, some people will try anything.
"Couple looking for people to watch while we shag in the car. We'll be in the peace pagoda car park (Milton Keynes) at 2130z tonight .... you'll recognise us by the car, it's a white Vauxhall Astra Diesel with a blue light on top and Yellow/Blue stripes on the sides and back....don't be shy and please let us see your 'action' before we start"
I suppose this elicits another response along the lines of - "whatever we say will be skewed to fit the need of the article to either shock or moralise"
I would just love to hear from a reporter that says "I want to try swinging or dogging in order to write a factual piece about my experiences" or is this just one piece of investigative jounalism too far? There will of course be the general response that "I do not need to try suicide in order to write about it!" - but when the great majority of articles are sensationalism trying to achieve shock value you cannot blame swingers and doggers for being cynical.
The last person who wanted to do some filming for a documentary was extended a swinging invitation to our last party. No cameras - no recording - no notepads - just come and join in the fun! - surprise surprise - they did not accept the invite!
Well that's us out anyway! Phew!
We met these buggers before - not genuine at all - good fancy dress costumes though - had us fooled for a while! :doh:
Fred & Wilma
xxxxxxxxxxx
I would just love to hear from a reporter that says "I want to try swinging or dogging in order to write a factual piece about my experiences" or is this just one piece of investigative jounalism too far? There will of course be the general response that "I do not need to try suicide in order to write about it!" - but when the great majority of articles are sensationalism trying to achieve shock value you cannot blame swingers and doggers for being cynical.
The last person who wanted to do some filming for a documentary was extended a swinging invitation to our last party. No cameras - no recording - no notepads - just come and join in the fun! - surprise surprise - they did not accept the invite!
I would like to offer any girls and their boyfriends
Well that's us out anyway! Phew!
"Couple looking for people to watch while we shag in the car. We'll be in the peace pagoda car park (Milton Keynes) at 2130z tonight .... you'll recognise us by the car, it's a white Vauxhall Astra Diesel with a blue light on top and Yellow/Blue stripes on the sides and back....don't be shy and please let us see your 'action' before we start"
We met these buggers before - not genuine at all - good fancy dress costumes though - had us fooled for a while! :doh:
Fred & Wilma
xxxxxxxxxxx
The swinging part will go ok, then there's the dogging part.
"here's your intrepid reporter in a wembley car park to get the low-down on dogging"
....."good evening sir"
"fuck-off you prat, that's another couple you've put out....piss-off"
"maybe I'd better try someone more sociable"
"good evening, how are things" ?
*+*%$ **&$£" (thump/splat) "next time I'll stick that camera up your arse, now PISS-OFF again"
"maybe I'll try and talk to some of the people in the cars...good evening sir/madam"
"are you the c*nt that's been lookin' fru ma winda...ahh'm gonna push your face in you pervy shit"
"no sir, I'm a reporter doing a story on carpark sex"
(thump/splat/wallop/kick/crunch) "yeah...sure...NOW piss-off"
exit reporter....to the other side of the car park....
"hello sir, I'm doing a story on dogging, would you like to comment"
"Hmmmm....nice bum, you look like a nice young man...what's your name"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...sod reporting, these guys are NUTS"
*****************************************************
(no intended homophobia, no intended reporterphobia, no intended phobiaphobia. Nothing much intended at all really)
"here's your intrepid reporter in a wembley car park to get the low-down on dogging"
....."good evening sir"
"fuck-off you prat, that's another couple you've put out....piss-off"
"maybe I'd better try someone more sociable"
"good evening, how are things" ?
*+*%$ **&$£" (thump/splat) "next time I'll stick that camera up your arse, now PISS-OFF again"
"maybe I'll try and talk to some of the people in the cars...good evening sir/madam"
"are you the c*nt that's been lookin' fru ma winda...ahh'm gonna push your face in you pervy shit"
"no sir, I'm a reporter doing a story on carpark sex"
(thump/splat/wallop/kick/crunch) "yeah...sure...NOW piss-off"
exit reporter....to the other side of the car park....
"hello sir, I'm doing a story on dogging, would you like to comment"
"Hmmmm....nice bum, you look like a nice young man...what's your name"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...sod reporting, these guys are NUTS"
*****************************************************
(no intended homophobia, no intended reporterphobia, no intended phobiaphobia. Nothing much intended at all really)
Sex God
:roll: :roll: All I can be bothered to say at this point is - agggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
I've a good mind to call the bluff of one of these "journalists" - come on then, "interview" me.... I bet you won't :twisted:
Not another Shock Horror Expose... :shock: :shock: :shock:
Polly... if you gaurentee to print EXACTLY what the interviewee tells you and not dress it up to be some puritanical crusade against alternative liefstyles, I'LL do your interview and the fee will go to Children In Need.
But are you prepared to make me that promise?
PM your reply to me.
Hxx
Polly... if you gaurentee to print EXACTLY what the interviewee tells you and not dress it up to be some puritanical crusade against alternative liefstyles, I'LL do your interview and the fee will go to Children In Need.
But are you prepared to make me that promise?
PM your reply to me.
Hxx
Quote by Heather
Polly... if you gaurentee to print EXACTLY what the interviewee tells you and not dress it up to be some puritanical crusade against alternative liefstyles, I'LL do your interview and the fee will go to Children In Need.
But are you prepared to make me that promise?
Heather - doubt it! They all have that wonderful get out phrase that they only submit the piece and dont have full editorial control!
:x :xIf you do get it - make sure it is in blood and signed by the editor as well!
Fred
