Manners/politeness in pms

5 Sep 2007

Not here to rant about anyone, name n shame or moan etc just more to get peoples opinions on the matter biggrin

before i get lynched!!!!!

:rotflmao:
Before i start just to note i rarely send pms dek does most of the pms and he has the patience to sit and look through the gallery and photo ads i much prefer to get to no people in chat etc :D and hardly look at profiles unless someone says so n so has nice pics or something along those lines well we all gotta perv at some point aint we rolleyes

So the other night dek sits and trawls through the gallery and photo ads confused

sends a few pms we gets a reply the nxt day not the regular "no thanks" or "not interested sorry" "thanks for your interest but your not for us" etc...... but basically saying your way to fat hes way to old........ (not quoted)
ahem thanks for pointing out the obvious :D :D :D
a no reply or no thanks would of done but noo just to make sure we gets the message :shock:
Has manners and politeness gone out of the window or am i just jumping on a high horse ????????????? :D
this is why i dont send pms often mad

:x :x

5 Sep 2007

No i agree... there is no need for rudeness.
I had mails a few weeks back from a bloke... I didn't reply at 1st as he hadn't bothered to read my ad.. where it does state clearly if you will not get a reply if you cannot be bothered to read. He continued to mail me about 4 more times where i then replied with a "thanks but no thanks" and the reasons.
You wouldn't of believed the reply
Some people just cannot take rejection!!!

5 Sep 2007

How rude can you get. I know its easy to say, dont worry about it, they are such.........but it still hurts.
Politeness and manners cost nothing at all.
What good role models they must be rolleyes

It really pisses me off when people have no manners. Especially when, say you hols a door open for someone and they dont say thank you. Or they just breeze through without holding the door open for you.
We were taught manners as a kid, and my kids are taught manners too. Its such a shame some people dont.
They are adults too, you think they would know better :x
Ohh well, lucky escape and all that.
louise xx

5 Sep 2007

yup lucky escape i recon lol i did send a reply just along the lines of manners cost nothing i got another lovely reply back mad

bring back manners i say they dont hurt biggrin

:D

5 Sep 2007

There is absolutely NO excuse for bad manners in my book.
Besides you're not too fat. You both look perfectly alright to me, so whoever it was is an idiot.
biggrin

:D :D

5 Sep 2007

To be honest, the peeps who send replies like that you wouldn't want to meet anyhow!!
It must be so annoying after you have made the effort to make an initial contact.
Anyhow, I suggest those peeps make an appointment at Spec Savers....your profiles look great!!
Echoes

5 Sep 2007

Your right dekntan manners do cost nothing but sadly some ppl in this community are a little rude in there replies sad

So we had a quick peek at you both surprised

& you both get our:----
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

5 Sep 2007

Some people are so rude, it makes me so angry mad

. A simple thanks for your interest etc would have been sufficiant(sp?). Lucky escape I recon you wouldn`t of wanted to meet someone like that anyway!!. For what its worth I think you both look great :thumbup: in your pics biggrin

.

5 Sep 2007

Quote by lyns
Some people are so rude, it makes me so angry . A simple thanks for your interest etc would have been sufficiant(sp?). Lucky escape I recon you wouldn`t of wanted to meet someone like that anyway!!. For what its worth I think you both look great :thumbup: in your pics .

:thumbup:

5 Sep 2007

You are right to be annoyed and like the others see them as having no real worth as people you want to know, let alone swing with.
Your pivcs are grand you have every reason to be pleased with who you are.
Manners whether by P.M in chat, forum, life or anywhere should be second nature. It's just right let alone nice to be nice.

5 Sep 2007

Some peeps are just pure thoughtless.......
I have to be honest though, I am quite blunt with peeps in chat when they approach me. It looks like I'm being very hard nosed and rude to those that don't know me with my tart reply s! Ive found that I have to be, some guys/couples are so persistent and want a written explanation of why I wont meet them... yeah, they don't read profiles either lol

So Tan, take no flipping notice....plenty more nice peeps out there who deserve your time and energy!! kiss

:kiss:

5 Sep 2007

aww ty all kiss

:kiss: :kiss:
like anais said i can sometimes be blunt i think we all can but theres being blunt and just being plain ignorant for others feelings dek shrugged if off and cudnt see why it bothered me but never mind......... nxt biggrin

5 Sep 2007

Quote by dekntan
dek shrugged if off and cudnt see why it bothered me but never mind......... nxt

bothers me,we get loads emails most who cant read or dont feel the need,the ones that annoy me are where i reply "pls read all the add" then i get a load pf cack back ,but after being on here a few years i now instead of fuming i tend to think hey lucky escape we could of met this person ,in chat room i hear the same and now suss a few people out just by the way they talk to a person and as our chat room has a lot of regs who do every day chat and some come in with "thought this was a sex site" i tend to get a insight what some are like, all we can say dek and tan there loss.

5 Sep 2007

I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.
rolleyes

5 Sep 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

Nothing wrong with that hun. It states it clearly in your profile text.
Perhaps they're not really incensed, but disappointed. wink

5 Sep 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

The thing is I think that most people are on here socially at some point, they cant be shagging all the time confused

Take it with a pinch of salt :thumbup:
louise xx

5 Sep 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

The thing is I think that most people are on here socially at some point, they cant be shagging all the time confused

Take it with a pinch of salt :thumbup:
louise xx
That's reassuring cos I'm getting bugger all at the moment :cry:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

5 Sep 2007

Don't forget this, guys -

Any comments which are hateful, or racist.
Abusive or aggressive behaviour towards fellow members, Ops/Mods or Administration staff.
Excessive profanity will not be tolerated.

From the AUP. If we don't know about it, we can't act on it, but we can 'ave a word' and give them a smacked wrist at the very least.
Mal
wink

5 Sep 2007

Quote by bbw_lover
That's reassuring cos I'm getting bugger all at the moment :cry:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

come to Widnes babes, you can have as much as you want :twisted: passionkiss

:wanker:

5 Sep 2007

Manners and politeness should ALWAYS be used since they are the oil that smooths the social gears. And let's face it - we are here to have fun, not to be insulted.
But... I am going to say something here that might seems a little controversial, mainly so that I can play Devil's Advocate so we can see both sides of the picture...
When sending rejection messages to people that don't suit me/us as potential swinging playmates, I was always told that in the swinging world all you should need to say is "thanks but no thanks." The reason given for this is that any swingers should understand that the choice of playmate(s) is a very personal choice and all swingers should understand that no matter how gorgeous/good natured they are, there can still be reasons why another swinger would not want to play with them. Also, if the person rejecting them gives them a reason for that rejection, that can cause bad feelings in the one rejected, no matter how good that reason is.
This would be fabulous if it was actually the case! In an ideal world I think we should all be able to just say "thanks but no thanks" and that should be enough. But in the real world, that does not seem to be enough for most people. In my experience, people seem to find it much more rude, and much more frustrating, to not give a reason than to give one. When I have tried to just say "thanks but no thanks" there have been several times when I have been subjected to a great inquisition as to why I wasn't interested in swinging with the person/people - and they never understood or accepted the explanation and it has caused a lot of tension. So I still think it would have been much better if they could have just accepted the "no thanks." But... my point is that they could not. And since the particular incident I am thinking of, I have tried to provide a polite but truthful explanation as to why I/we have no interest in swinging with them, since the majority of people seem to want some kind of explanation.
I suppose in essence what I am trying to say is that I would love for us to live in a world where no explanations are necessary, but in my opinion we don't live in that world. This means that most people will attempt to give explanations for their rejections. So as far as I can see this means one thing - swingers will have to get used to receiving rejections with explanations that they may not like! A thin-skinned swinger is a swinger who is going to get hurt by the things people say - so if you are thin skinned - DON'T SWING or expect to get hurt and toughen up.
Just my opinion, feel free to disagree - I'm not thin-skinned! lol

Regards,
Russell

5 Sep 2007

Quote by Mal
Don't forget this, guys -

Any comments which are hateful, or racist.
Abusive or aggressive behaviour towards fellow members, Ops/Mods or Administration staff.
Excessive profanity will not be tolerated.

From the AUP. If we don't know about it, we can't act on it, but we can 'ave a word' and give them a smacked wrist at the very least.
Mal
wink

thanks mal but i dont want to take it further the point of the thread was more about manners and the way people treat others in general etc not to tell tales on said mailer

5 Sep 2007

If they're abusive to you, then it's a likely bet that they are with others. The only way we know if we have a serial abuser is if people report them. In isolation it means not a lot, but if several people over te course of time are all making the same complaint, it builds up a picture and it's at that point we take action.
It's your choice though.
Mal
wink

5 Sep 2007

Quote by Mal
If they're abusive to you, then it's a likely bet that they are with others. The only way we know if we have a serial abuser is if people report them. In isolation it means not a lot, but if several people over te course of time are all making the same complaint, it builds up a picture and it's at that point we take action.
It's your choice though.
Mal

Does that meen then if i send just the 1 naughty pm to you then i will get away with it as its just the once lol

Oh pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :lol:
Shaz x

5 Sep 2007

Only if it's really really naughty!!! :twisted:
Mal
wink

5 Sep 2007

I have to say Russell, I'm inclined to agree with what you've posted above.

5 Sep 2007

I've never been rude or abusive to anyone whilst mailing folk and I totally agree with manners cost nothing. I know that couples and females receive a lot of shit and time wasters as it always crops up in the conversation at some point when I meet with folk. When ever I send a mail to someone, short or long, I am always polite and if I don't get an answer, fine. Maybe I'll write again a while afterwards as in a few weeks or months if I particularly like someone and if I hear nothing I'll leave it at that. When, and if I get a " no thanks" it always pleases me as it's, quite simply, good manners and polite. It only takes one push of a key on a key pad. So why do so many not bother. confused

:

5 Sep 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

Yeah, I get that at times too! When its so persistent I do give an explanation, normally its not one they want to hear. I don't get a reply so it must work...and I'm not rude or horrible with it! I just ask for them to respect that I made a decision not to meet.......and they are plenty more that do so, so wasting their time continually asking me!
I sometimes feel its a challenge and they try to wear me down until they think I will give in! The real persistent ones, then ask to meet for a drink...... probably in the hope it might move onto other things! confused

:? It doesn't! lol

6 Sep 2007

Quote by anais
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

Yeah, I get that at times too! When its so persistent I do give an explanation, normally its not one they want to hear. I don't get a reply so it must work...and I'm not rude or horrible with it! I just ask for them to respect that I made a decision not to meet.......and they are plenty more that do so, so wasting their time continually asking me!
I sometimes feel its a challenge and they try to wear me down until they think I will give in! The real persistent ones, then ask to meet for a drink...... probably in the hope it might move onto other things! confused

:? It doesn't! lol

You have more patience than I have. If someone is challenging my reasons for wanting to be on here, I just think "cheeky get, what's it got to do with you?" then I block them.

6 Sep 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
I don't have an add, but I still get abuse sometimes. People seem to be incensed that I just want to be on here socially.

Yeah, I get that at times too! When its so persistent I do give an explanation, normally its not one they want to hear. I don't get a reply so it must work...and I'm not rude or horrible with it! I just ask for them to respect that I made a decision not to meet.......and they are plenty more that do so, so wasting their time continually asking me!
I sometimes feel its a challenge and they try to wear me down until they think I will give in! The real persistent ones, then ask to meet for a drink...... probably in the hope it might move onto other things! confused

:? It doesn't! lol

You have more patience than I have. If someone is challenging my reasons for wanting to be on here, I just think "cheeky get, what's it got to do with you?" then I block them.
I am overly patient with them I know! :lol: Why....... buggered if i know :lol2: :lol2:
So far only got one pratt on block!! :? :?

6 Sep 2007

As Mal has already said if you don't let admin or one of us ops/mods know then we can't do anything about it. confused

If anyone has had an abusive PM let us know and we will deal with the offending party servely.
I try to have manners in all I do on here and in life and it gets me invites to all manners of different places.
Manners cost nothing but mean so much..........
best regards
Woo